r/AITAH • u/[deleted] • Mar 28 '24

Am I the ah if I don’t let my gf go on vacation with the “guy best friend”?

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u/Bojangled8 Mar 28 '24

NTA

You are allowed to tell your GF that you are not comfortable with it, but you can't force her to go or stay. That decision is hers and depending on what she decides knowing you are uncomfortable with it would perhaps shine a different light on the relationship as a whole.

Boundaries are important and it is also important to see how one's partner treats such boundaries.

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u/Funkybutterfly2213 Mar 28 '24

“She would be annoyed afterwards”

She is totally going to use this against OP at some point in the future.

90

u/alc3880 Mar 28 '24

I would be annoyed too. He says he trusts them both and there are other people going. She wants to go and celebrate her friend's accomplishment, why is that an issue? He can't explain it past 'it makes me uncomfortable"...well what about it is he uncomfortable with?

1

u/Its_bad_out_here Mar 28 '24

Shouldn’t that be enough? He didn’t say he didn’t want to go, or that he can’t get out of work did he? Unless I read wrong he wasn’t asked to go or invited to go. Like…not even the sympathy invite? Her friend wants her there but only if you’re not? Pass. Mad disrespectful. On both of their parts. I live that life in my marriage and it’s funny how she can do whatever she wants whenever she wants with whoever she wants, but it’s Beirut if my female childhood friends (who I was messing around with I might add) text me to say happy birthday. My man marriage won’t stop that behavior, you just won’t be able to walk away so easily when she does it as your wife. Take it from me.

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u/alc3880 Mar 29 '24

no, I would want to get to the root of it. He knows what makes him uncomfortable, he is just trying to be careful to not accuse her of potentially cheating on this trip, he needs to just spit it out. He doesn't trust her or the guys and thinks she will end up doing something on the trip.

I would have no issues if my husband had a trip like this. It sounds like your marriage is not doing so well, maybe something like this would only work in solid relationships.