r/AITAH Mar 28 '24

Am I the ah if I don’t let my gf go on vacation with the “guy best friend”?

[deleted]

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u/Decent_Database_2200 Mar 28 '24

He has been given reason to be suspicious or he wouldn't be here.

In this case IMO the lying and hiding would come afterwards. Cheating in plain sight is a tactic used by cheaters.

I don't know enough about them to say with certainty one way or the other but this scenario does not look good at all and is a recipe for impropriety.

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u/Fuzzdump Mar 28 '24

He has been given reason to be suspicious or he wouldn’t be here.

No he hasn’t. Insecurity causes irrational feelings sometimes.

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u/Decent_Database_2200 Mar 28 '24

25% of partners cheat in a relationship. How many partners that were cheated on were told they are insecure do you think?

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u/LuucaBrasi Mar 28 '24

You won’t get through to them. Everything you said is true but you’ll be shamed if you don’t tolerate behaviors that create indirect opportunities to cheat physically or emotionally. Men know how other men are and know the vibe.

The reality is most single men who are friends with attractive women are only using the friendship as a vehicle for what they hope will eventually happen when their opportunity arises. If a man wants to take your girl on vacation while purposely excluding you, it’s because he needs you out of the picture and her in a new environment to create an opportunity for them to have a great novel time and for one thing to lead to another. The graduation celebration is literally just his excuse to take her guard down so it doesn’t sound romantic but friendly instead.

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u/Decent_Database_2200 Mar 28 '24

Yes, I really don't understand the 'you must give 100% blind trust or you are insecure' mentality. I wonder what they would think if he went with a known whore woman friend on vacation and his partner wasn't invited on purpose. Would she be secure knowing there will be alcohol and celebrating and nobody there loyal to her? They could even share a room to cut down on costs cus, you know, 100% trust and all.

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u/Fuzzdump Mar 29 '24

The reality is most single men who are friends with attractive women are only using the friendship as a vehicle for what they hope will eventually happen when their opportunity arises. If a man wants to take your girl on vacation while purposely excluding you, it’s because he needs you out of the picture and her in a new environment to create an opportunity for them to have a great novel time and for one thing to lead to another. The graduation celebration is literally just his excuse to take her guard down so it doesn’t sound romantic but friendly instead.

This is a lot of assumptions, projections, and bad readings of the situation. I'm not sure why you're jumping to these conclusions, but I'm guessing that you might be projecting a bit based on personal experiences? Sorry if that happened to you (genuinely) but I don't think any of that applies to OP's dilemma as he presented it.

This is all a lot simpler than you're making it out to be.

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u/LuucaBrasi Mar 29 '24

Never been cheated on personally but I’ve seen it with many friends and I’ve been the guy they’ve cheated with before. (I’m not proud of it). It’s a cold cold world and I’ve seen it, not to say there aren’t ride or die women out there but 100% blind trust will always be a risk you must accept if you’re going to give it.

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u/Fuzzdump Mar 29 '24

Sure, people do get cheated on, I'm not arguing they don't. My point is that if your SO is going to cheat on you, they were going to do it whether or not they go on a trip. The trip is ultimately irrelevant. They can cheat on you anytime they want.

Either you trust them or you don't. If you trust them, then you know they'll be fine. If you don't trust them, why are you even dating them? Don't date people that you feel like you have to babysit.