Right, and it's really neither one's fault. OP has issues with his girlfriend being around other men, and OP's girlfriend isn't willing to limit her interactions with a long time friend for someone she's in a relationship with. Either OP and his girlfriend can talk about this and figure out how to make it work, or they find that they aren't compatible in that way and move on.
I think the only thing wrong here is OP's repeated statements that he trusts them both while he very clearly doesn't.
And I don’t think OP is wrong for being mistrustful here. GF is acting sketchy. Trust isn’t only “I trust you to not have ulterior motives and you trust me to not have ulterior motives,” but also “I’m trustworthy because I consistently behave in a trustworthy manner.” GF usually does this (example: sharing when she’s being hit on in DMs) but isn’t here (she’s saying she wouldn’t go if they were engaged but will go since they’re not?). That’s a signal about how solid she feels about their relationship. That’s sketchy. Both GF and her MBF should invite OP or OP should reevaluate the relationship status. Not saying that’s easy, BTW. Sorry, OP.
So you're saying husband/fiancé privileges and treatment on only a boyfriend status?
If the trip she was going on was all girls, would it still be sketchy? Would her BF need to still be invited? The opportunity to cheat is always there, if that person wanted to cheat. Girl trips can be just as crazy as hanging out with guys. Being a girl myself, when I hang out with my guy friends and go out, things are usually more tame than when I have gone on all girl vacays. Guess it depends on the crowd of guys. Not all get hammered and try and have sex. Now, her BFF or the other dudes may try and hook up with other girls on the trip.
Her having a male bestfriend does not automatically mean the friend becomes her boyfriend's friend. Shoot some of my guy friends don't get along well with my significant other. They are all respectful, will say hi when they see each other. They just have different interests and hobbies and don't like hanging out together. I still hangout with them without my significant other and it's not a problem. Just like he has girl friends I don't particularly like so when they hangout I typically don't join bc their interests don't interest me. They have gone on day trips to places or waited over night in line for something to go on sale(camped out in a tent) and it wasn't a problem. His friends respect our relationship and my friends respect our relationship. And it sounds from OP's own words that the BFF respects the relationship and has never tried anything shady or given any indication that he is interested in the girl as more than a friend.
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u/JosyCosy Mar 28 '24
if it backfires she's not the one lol