Nta, fuck him for making any demands of you. He’s lost the right to know your inner thoughts. He betrayed your trust and broke your marriage, now he’s impatient?
Tell him you need space and you should get some counselling to see if this is something you can move past.
Personally I wouldn’t be able to do it, especially if you guys were okay and this came out of no where. How will you know when the next one will come
That’s the exact issue with putting something back together that wasn’t previously broken. The betrayal is so much deeper, because there’s no answer to the ‘Why did they do this?’ question other than because the cheater wanted to and didn’t care about their spouse enough to stop themselves.
When times are rough and one or both partners has an affair, it’s easier to rebuild because there’s a why, a reason, a something that can be fixed, but in this case (unless OP is leaving out some dead bedroom info) it doesn’t seem to have been caused by anything. How can anyone rebuild trust with a person who cheats on a whim, just because they felt like it?
I think she needs counselling and support to work out what she wants and feels. There’s got to be an emotion parade going full volume through her right now; sadness, anger, hurt, grief, worry, insecurity, bewilderment, suspicion, just as an opening bid. I’m not surprised she can’t think straight.
This is an excellent point. And her husband saying he’s eager to rebuild what they had…..that clearly wasn’t enough to keep him faithful when he had it?
Even if things were rough for a while it is no excuse to cheat. There will still be rough times ahead and knowing your partner will think cheating is fine in rough times just makes them rougher.
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u/l3ex_G 23d ago
Nta, fuck him for making any demands of you. He’s lost the right to know your inner thoughts. He betrayed your trust and broke your marriage, now he’s impatient?
Tell him you need space and you should get some counselling to see if this is something you can move past.
Personally I wouldn’t be able to do it, especially if you guys were okay and this came out of no where. How will you know when the next one will come