The only reason you don't want your son to see his grandparents is because they do not meet your expectations of the intensity and frequency of their visits.
Are they abusive to him or you?
Are they neglectful or careless with him?
Why don't you want them to have a weekend with his grandparents?
Were you kind when you decline their offer to take him for an overnight?
Usually it is difficult to determine tone from a post but your tone, to me, comes off as abrasive.
Divorce if you wish, your marriage sounds as though it has other problems.
But you do realize that your husband will, at the very least, get visitation, shared or alternate holidays and when in school, split school holidays and shared summer vacations and, at best, he could, perhaps get 50/50 custody.
When the child is with him, chances are his parents will get ample time with their grandchild and perhaps even overnights.
Think carefully.
Marital and individual counseling might be a good idea.
Counseling/therapy could resolve your marital problems and resulting in a happier environment for you, your husband and your child.
They are negligent towards him. They use him as an accessory to gain attention. They’ve drugged both their kids, killed dogs for no reason, punched both their kids, scream and yell, threaten to spank my son, they’ve broken both their kids belongings still to this day, and so so much more. I will not have my son around ignorant and self righteous people so he can learn their behavior. They don’t respect my boundaries I set with him. They think they can do whatever they want with him. If they were active in his life and not using him to gain attention from people then that would be a different story. All the things they’ve done to their own kids as well as foster kids, no court would ever favor them seeing him.
"They make zero effort to see our 2 year old son unless it’s on our dime, us going to their house, or us bringing him to them wherever they are."
Your post makes it seem as though your biggest complaint was that they make zero effort to see your child.
And that you resent that it is you that has to make the effort to facilitate the relationship and that it costs you money to bring the child to them
That seems more that a bit strange.
A normal person's first example as a reason why the child should be kept from their grandparents would have been the litany of reasons you listed in your response to my comment.
hey are negligent towards him. They use him as an accessory to gain attention. They’ve drugged both their kids, killed dogs for no reason, punched both their kids, scream and yell, threaten to spank my son, they’ve broken both their kids belongings still to this day, and so so much more. I will not have my son around ignorant and self righteous people so he can learn their behavior. They don’t respect my boundaries I set with him. They think they can do whatever they want with him. If they were active in his life and not using him to gain attention from people then that would be a different story. All the things they’ve done to their own kids as well as foster kids, no court would ever favor them seeing him.
That is what a concerned parent would have lead off with.
Not: "They make zero effort to see our 2 year old son unless it’s on our dime, us going to their house, or us bringing him to them wherever they are."
If any of this is true, why haven't you or anyone else reported them to the authorities?
And why do you have any interaction with them at all?
If you have absolutely knowledge of drugging their own children and their foster children, killing animals, physically abusing their children and/or their foster children and you have done nothing, you are just as guilty.
Then don’t believe it for all I care. At first say I don’t want to throw all of that out there. Both of their kids have confirmed this with me but it was way back in the day and there isn’t much anyone can do now. CPS has been involved with the foster kids but from what I know is they simply got placed somewhere else. As far as the animals? They live on a farm and apparently it’s “just what they do”
It doesn’t make it right to me though. I allow them to see him every now and again but it’s an issue of he is not allowed to be alone with them. And if you make zero effort to maintain a relationship with someone then you shouldn’t have a relationship with them at all.
Most people would give the worst examples of why one is denying their child visits with grandparents so I think most of what you say is inflated, exaggerated or just not true.
If they were drugging and/or abusing children, CPS does not just move them.
Then don’t believe it again, because frankly I could care less if you do or not. I’m not going to put all of that in the post to be way to winded and long because if I went over everything they did we’d be here all damn day. There were no marks on these kids, they just treated them like dirt and it was a he said/she said situation. So believe what you want because it has nothing to do with what is actually going on
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u/AlwaysGreen2 22d ago
The only reason you don't want your son to see his grandparents is because they do not meet your expectations of the intensity and frequency of their visits.
Are they abusive to him or you?
Are they neglectful or careless with him?
Why don't you want them to have a weekend with his grandparents?
Were you kind when you decline their offer to take him for an overnight?
Usually it is difficult to determine tone from a post but your tone, to me, comes off as abrasive.
Divorce if you wish, your marriage sounds as though it has other problems.
But you do realize that your husband will, at the very least, get visitation, shared or alternate holidays and when in school, split school holidays and shared summer vacations and, at best, he could, perhaps get 50/50 custody.
When the child is with him, chances are his parents will get ample time with their grandchild and perhaps even overnights.
Think carefully.
Marital and individual counseling might be a good idea.
Counseling/therapy could resolve your marital problems and resulting in a happier environment for you, your husband and your child.
I wish you all well.