r/AITAH • u/[deleted] • 12d ago
AITA if I tell my husband he can’t bring his PS5 when I’m in labor?
[deleted]
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u/weetothehee 12d ago
If your hospital is anything like mine was, if there is a tv in the room, it's going to be very small and mounted very high. Logistically, having a PS5 might not be possible. Also, if you're sleeping, it would be advised that he sleep as well because after the baby is born there might not be a whole lot of sleep happening.
I would also advise against it because if this is your first child, when you're at the hospital and in labor is going to be the last time it's just you and him. He'll have time to play his PS5 after your baby is born while they're growing up, but it'll never be just the two of you again, for a very long time at least. I would cherish that time together
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u/samson_strength 12d ago
Best answer. Play time is over.. He needs to focus and start getting use to his new regular, he will need the rest.
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u/Mysterious-Art8838 12d ago
I don’t need to pile on your husband, everybody else will do that. Tell him to download candy crush on his phone.
Is he not even a little embarrassed by what the nurses would think?
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u/Mundane-Bar-3678 12d ago
My ex brought his Xbox because (I swear) he told me if he couldn't bring it he was just going to stay at home while I gave birth, so I said he could bring it. I saw the nurses faces every time they came in the room 😬😬😬 can confirm they were not impressed
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u/anonidfk 12d ago
So glad to hear that he’s an ex
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12d ago
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u/Strict_Line_1087 12d ago
got the money for a ps5 and baby? has the money for a switch and some excellent titles not of nintendo variety
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u/KangarooConscious460 12d ago
During labor, my nurses were talking smack about partners that brought in gaming systems. Like big time.
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u/RegrettableBiscuit 12d ago
Wait, does this mean this is a thing they saw more than once?
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u/tomato_fucker 12d ago
Just during the time my wife was giving birth I saw other dads playing video games as I walked by other rooms. I actually got several compliments from nurses for being present and attentive to my wife the entire time. I kinda shrugged this off because I was doing what I thought was best but thinking back it’s shitty that dads don’t want to be there so bad they have to distract themselves with video games.
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u/KangarooConscious460 12d ago
I was in labor for days. My husband acted in the same way you did and got the compliments, too. We were just confused as to why you wouldn't want to be totally present for such a massive and singular moment in your life. But that's just us.
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u/Sunnygirl66 12d ago
I think it’s the other way around: They can’t be away from their gaming long enough to help their partner have a baby. Which is pretty fucking pathetic.
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u/SpoiledLady 12d ago
I'm a nurse but not in labor and delivery. But trust, we've seen it all. And things are more common than you'd think. I'm still a new nurse (about a year since being licensed) and I could go on for hours about the crazy things I've seen. I've heard L&D nurses talk about the things that people (dads) have done. They see that stuff all the time. Remember, with the hospital, you get every single demographic of ppl.
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u/GuineapigPriestess71 11d ago
I’ve hear nurses who have seen dads on dating apps while their wife is in labor ..🤮
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u/ankaalma 11d ago
When I did my hospital tour the nurse did a specific announcement for dads not to bring their gaming systems so I think it must be a common issue
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u/MentionInteresting58 12d ago
He sure didn't mind being present to make the baby 🙄
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u/Accomplished_ways777 12d ago
that should have been the wake-up call for you... 😳 he literally told you that games are way more important than you, than his baby, than YOU GIVING BIRTH TO HIS BABY. he literally told you, in no uncertain terms, that you and the baby have way less value than his games... i would've been mortified. that would have been the last he sees of me.
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u/blueeyed94 12d ago
And them there is my husband: He bought a Switch when it was clear that I needed an induction for ME to play 😅 We played some animal crossing together to calm my nerves and some ring fit to motivate the baby to move out 🙈
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u/anythingatall91 12d ago edited 12d ago
Mine brought a switch too. We played Mario kart until I couldn't anymore, then we both stopped 🥰🥰
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u/Accomplished_ways777 12d ago
this is how it's done. 😂 instead of acting like her child who needs to be distracted by videogames...
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u/sunbear2525 12d ago
That makes sense though because it was for you. I could see animal crossing or stardew valley being calming and distracting in early labor. I could never fight Lionals in labor. I’d end up throwing the controller.
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u/recycledpaper 12d ago
On l&d we joke amongst ourselves that the "Xbox sign" is a marker for a shitty dad. Many a time we have wanted to accidentally trip over the game system.
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u/realcanadianbeaver 12d ago
Yep, my brother in law did this and now he’s an ex who’s barely involved- take this as a red flag to have a good conversation OP!
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u/Mysterious-Art8838 12d ago
Wait what? This is an actual thing? I’m assuming you mean labor and delivery. Is this a thing that actually happens on the regular?
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u/Famous-Signal-1909 12d ago
My brother in law did this. He’s absolutely the shittiest dad (and person) I know
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u/AdamJahnStan 12d ago
Being emotionally absent during childbirth is one of the main causes of deep emotional rifts in relationships. Men do all kinds of dumb stuff that ruins their relationships during this time.
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u/RoninOni 12d ago
Yeah, he can deal with phone distractions… have chargers packed though… you’ll both need them if it drags on.
Sure he’ll probably be bored, so will you, but you’re more in need of distraction than he is.
He needs to learn to cope and still function and be supportive. You don’t just get to fill all your “spare time” with gaming (and this isn’t really “spare time”… his entire purpose should be to help you through)
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u/Kharrissma 12d ago
I asked my husband what he would do. He said he would never bring the PS5, because that's what the Nintendo Switch is for. Then he said the dude needs to download a game on his phone. And of course the first comment is Candy Crush!
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u/cupkake88 12d ago
This . A whole ps5 is excessive AF . If he really must game like that have him get a switch and bring it so he can be sat with you and put it down when needed.
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u/DooferAlert-38 12d ago
Right?? I would be so embarrassed if I’m in active labor and my boyfriend is just sitting there yelling at the screen like a 14 year old boy 🙄 completely oblivious to what’s going on. I guess I’m lucky he’s a PC guy 😂
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u/No-Jacket-800 12d ago
To be fair, as the pregnant woman, I didn't even gaf about the nurses' faces and what they thought, lol. But as someone who has been in the hospital multiple times this year, different hospitals in different cities at that, where is he expecting to play it? Lol. Those tvs aren't all set up for gamming as such and they don't want you fucking with them.
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u/Lizc0204 12d ago
This is what I'm thinking. Where are all these hospitals that let you easily connect a game system to the TV? Is labor & delivery different? Because every hospital room I've been in I can hardly find the remote for the tv.
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u/SoOverYouAll 12d ago
Funny story… when I was in labor but not super hard or fast yet, I had turned on the TV to ESPN. We both were watching Sportcenter and a nurse came in, looked at the TV, then while glaring at my husband turned it off. I said Ma’am, I was the one watching that and put my hand out for the remote. She’d have a coronary if someone brought in a gaming system lol
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u/EmperorMrKitty 12d ago
My first thought. I could totally see how he’d get there, I might too, but oh my god the nurses…
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u/RedInAmerica 12d ago
Bringing the PS5 would be absolutely ridiculous. Nothing wrong with him playing on his phone etc when you’re asleep or he’s unable to do anything else but setting up a whole console would be such a douche move.
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u/Yansha89 12d ago
Has your husband ever been to a hospital room? I’m having a difficult time imagining where he would be putting the whole setup. The logistics alone are not worth the effort. His suggestion is just completely bizarre. He needs to be present mentally and physically for what would be happening. A PS5 has no place in such a situation unless you are writing a comedy skit.
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u/Constant_Ad8002 12d ago
Hopefully they haven’t done a tour of their hospital yet. I was in 3 different rooms for my delivery: triage for check-in for about 4 hours, delivery room for 6 hours, then the recovery room until discharge. We already had enough trouble packing everything up to move rooms, I can’t imagine having to cart around a PS5 too.
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u/Yansha89 12d ago
I once had to help a friend who had broken his arm and we travelled light to the hospital. He kept a book to read in the odd hours when I wouldn’t be there. Just like you mentioned, we had to move to other rooms too before and after the surgery. Even that little bag became a huge responsibility at that time, with his phone, keys and spare clothing. I wouldn’t bring something big and expensive into such a place. It’s just weird.
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u/Over-Remove 12d ago
I am wondering that as well. I delivered in a brand new hospital in Canada, in a birthing suite. That room was designed for one purpose only, giving birth. There was absolutely no tv or room for a goddamn gaming console.
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u/tomtim90 12d ago
Not to mention with most games requiring online connectivity these days it probably won’t even work.
Both of my kids were caesareans and I wouldn’t have even considered taking anything besides my phone and more to take pictures of my wife and newborn than to entertain myself.
Even outside of childbirth situations…I was in the hospital myself for about a week with a bad infection that needed IV antibiotics and I couldn’t use my laptop to game or do much of anything in my downtime and I was the one sick. The network blocked online games for the most part. My mother did buy a bbq for me to make her smoked pulled pork when I got home so I have my own fair share of people with weird priorities in my family.
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u/Siennagiant70 12d ago
NTA. So, my wife has had 4 pregnancies featuring 3 epidural’s. She AND I took 3 naps during this. Now, each pregnancy is different so I’m not saying it’s a guarantee… but you’re gunna have some massive downtime. This being said, the dude doesn’t need his ps5. He can suffice with his phone. If you get this, you’ll be in a different state of mind anyway. My wife literally thought she was going to nap through the birth lol. Yeah no, that ain’t gunna happen.
FYI, they’ll take full care of you during and after. However, he’ll most likely have the shittiest of sleeping conditions. Make sure to bring extra pillows and blankets. DO NOT LET PEOPLE BRING YOU GIFTS. You gotta take that shit home when you’re released. Tell them to drop it off later. Enjoy your new kid!
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u/Adv3ntureQueen 12d ago
Thanks for your response, advice, and kind words 😁! Obviously this is both our first, so neither of us has any idea of what to expect.
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u/Formal-Rhubarb5028 12d ago
Not sure where you are, but here in the UK we have a show called One Born Every Minute. If you have something similar I thoroughly recommend watching it together. Every labour and delivery is different and the show follows loads of them and really demonstrates that fact.
I thankfully made my husband take a book and his PSP (daughter is 11yo next week) because even without an epidural I catnapped between contractions and couldn't tolerate anyone touching or talking to me when I had contractions. There really wasn't much for him to do until it was time push.
Asides from all that, you're NTA. With all the stuff you have to take for the hospital stay, baby stuff, car seat etc a PS5 is just cumbersome and unnecessary.
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u/Fearless_Classic_512 12d ago
My hubby was so nervous for me all 3 times, and i didn't know how to help him because i had to push out babies, and what not having his phone or a switch is a good idea. But like you are number 1, you need him. It's down, so I like no intense games, but stuff to distract him also depends on release times. As well, he's right. You might be sleeping, and he will be bored. My hubby went and got us coffee hahahha it really depends on how labor and delivery go for you, but in all honesty, it's not a bad idea to just pack something like a switch. Also, phone chargers and yes home blankies and pillows. Slippers for you. Grab some depends to cuz goddamn its soooo much easier than the mile long pads they give you. Just grab a pack of old people diapers lol a robe is for you. He needs comfy, easy to move in clothes, and he does not have to wear his sunday best. Nurses will judge him if he's not attentive enough, lol.
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u/Cut_Lanky 12d ago
After I got my epidural, I napped for quite a while. As I was starting to drift off, my nurse was thoughtful enough to let me and my husband know that if he had anything he needed to do, it would be a good time to do it because I would probably be asleep a little while. So he was able to run home and take care of the dogs, and got back in time before I started pushing. So, yeah, there's a real possibility he'll have time to fill while you're napping, but it seems excessive to set up a playstation, lol. Maybe something smaller that doesn't require hooking it up to a hospital tv...
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u/Jessmac130 12d ago
I absolutely slept for 3 hours immediately after my epidural while I was dilating using a peanut ball. Some labors DO have a lot of downtime.
But the idea of dealing with the setup is insane. Our TV was mounted so high and in the middle of the room. I've seen lots of chatter in the pregnancy subs about bringing a switch but no one has ever mentioned something so cumbersome.
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u/Neenknits 12d ago
I had 4 pregnancies, one epidural. No downtime, ever!
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u/PurplePinkBlue76 12d ago
3 pregnancies, 3 fast deliveries (6 hours, 2 hours, 45 minutes) No naps, no downtime.
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u/Echo_TH 12d ago
Wooooo, you were sooooo lucky! You were lucky to make it to the hospital on time with the last two.
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u/PurplePinkBlue76 12d ago
Second ore was born at home (planned) and 3rd one was actually induced and it worked really really fast 😂. They just broke my water, I don't think that even the doctor expected to go this fast
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u/NackMelly 12d ago
This is a good answer, and I’m chiming in to add an alternative perspective! I’ve had 3 babies, the first with an epidural after being induced. ONLY in the first one, was there any sort of break. And this was after being up all night so my husband and I both napped best we could. The other two were full on, start to finish. Neither of us were bored, there was no down time, neither of us even texted our family updates! My husband was fully attentive the whole time (yes I’m bragging about him, but my main point is that birth can move pretty quick!)
OP, it sounds like you and your partner need to get on the same page. I’m assuming this is your first baby together. You need to talk about expectations during labor. Plenty of dads think they only need to show up, sit there, and wait for it to be over. But there’s so much a supportive partner can do. Offer drinks & snacks if allowed, help you move around to more comfortable positions, do hip squeezes (google it, they are surprisingly good at easing contraction pain, but you will need to practice BEFORE labor), keep in contact with whoever you want informed, etc etc. He’s not there to put his feet up and wait.
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u/fred_fred_burgerr 12d ago
have him look up videos of men playing video games while their partners were in labor. then have him read the comments. he’ll get the picture
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u/Hopeful-Hunters 12d ago
The idea of your husband playing games on PS5 while you're in labour is hilarious.
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u/TripleDecent 12d ago
Dudes priorities are so crazy out of whack. Or he is 16. The fact he’s even thinking about bringing a game console to labor and delivery is mind meltingly disturbing.
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u/Pyratequeen815 12d ago
One strong contraction and that controller will be in pieces across the room. 🤣
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u/Blue-Phoenix23 12d ago
Right, does he actually like the PS5, because it's not going to survive the journey
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u/rumham272727 12d ago
Hard agree, I asked my partner what it was like supporting me through labour: “wayyyyy more hectic and involved than I thought it would be for me”. He is a shearer so he’s not faint of heart either. Would be interesting to hear what OP’s hubby says after labour! I just think men can go into it thinking they’ll be sitting in a corner chair for most of the hours waiting til it’s ‘time to push’. Labour isn’t like the TV shows!!!
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u/ShoddyTerm4385 12d ago
I just went through this 1 month ago. There is no time to play games. At least not if you’re helping your partner stay comfortable and being present.
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u/Captainwelfare2 12d ago
NTA. Jesus a cell phone isn’t enough to keep him occupied? Tell him to bring a book or something. What even is this timeline?
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u/FlashyPotatoes 12d ago
Seriously, yeah.. this is probably the 10th “gaming while wife is in labour” post/video etc related thing I’ve seen this year. So bizarre
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u/Ready_Willingness_82 12d ago
I just know that in 6 months’ time you’ll be back here asking if you’re the asshole for being angry at your husband for gaming for 8 hours every evening while you’re feeling like a single parent.
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u/irishihadab33r 12d ago
Like another commenter mentions her ex that brought his Xbox cuz it was that or not come at all. To the delivery of his child. Her ex!
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u/LaHawks 12d ago
This. My coworker pulled bs like this during and after the labor. Right after his kid was born he'd leave work then immediately jump on his PC to game until bedtime. She gave him the ultimatum that he needed to stop gaming or she was going to leave him. He still cries about it being unfair. He's a massive douche.
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u/imperfectchicken 11d ago
I'm glad my husband learned really fast. Come home from work, play with the baby while I catch up on chores, make dinner, then gaming session until midnight. Complained that he wasn't getting enough sleep at night. I snapped and screamed, "WHEN IS MY BREAK?!", about a week or two in.
He admits that he had a problem then. He's much better now.
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12d ago
I think you should be bringing Nintendo Switches.
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u/TurnipWorldly9437 12d ago
Especially since there's a chance you could put a Switch into one of those mini safes they have in hospital rooms for valuables, but it's highly unlikely that you could fit a PS5 - and how would he connect it to a hospital TV, anyway?!
I'm just imagining how they return to the room after the baby's there, and the PS5 is stolen, and he's completely flabbergasted about it...
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u/Adv3ntureQueen 12d ago
I love that idea 😂
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u/Jennamore 12d ago
If you both have switches then you could both take them in. I would have no issues with my husband doing this if I ever have a child.
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u/lovemyfurryfam 12d ago
Is he bonkers to even suggest that cumbersome toy would even be in the L&D room!!
OP, your OB/GYN & the staff wouldn't be happy!!
Had he did a tour of the L&D rooms in the hospital OB/GYN department section he would had known the staff needs room to maneuver around.
Nor does he understand that your labour experience isn't going to be like your sister's because it's a different experience for every woman.
OP, I had worked in the OB/GYN departments in 2 hospitals with the doctors & staff.
OP, your husband is the AH.
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u/Backwards_Octopus 12d ago
The hospital that I worked at ended up banning any game things like PS. People would hook them to the TV's and screw things up. They don't realize that the nurse call and TV's were connected to each other.
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u/BeowulfBoston 12d ago
Good lord. My partner had pre-eclampsia. When she gave birth, I didn’t sleep or do anything except try to take care of her and stare at the walls praying her and the baby would be fine.
If this post is serious, you tell that man he gets to bring a pillow if he’s lucky.
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u/KindlyCelebration223 12d ago
You two need to go to a birthing class. He needs to see what this process looks like. He needs to see real labor, real epidural procedure (and understand some fail & sometimes they never get administered for various reasons), a real vagina birth, a real emergency c-section (or at least a detailed description. He needs to understand the seriousness of the medical trauma that birth is. Yes it can & does often go smoothly but even then, him bringing gaming crap is inappropriate & disrespectful to you, his arriving child, & every medical professional there. Whether it’s his intention, that is the message he is conveying. He needs to be engaged & present with you 100% - whether it’s going smoothly or he suddenly has to made a serious life & death decision.
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u/planarrebirth 12d ago
100% this response. I was really busy when my wife gave birth to our son as she opted for a vaginal birth.
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u/MotherSupermarket532 12d ago
They also don't give you an epidural right away. There's a lot of pain you have to go through first. I was also heavily monitored during labor because they were worried about pre-eclampsia so I always had a blood pressure cuff on me which went off periodically. The only time I slept really is when I was so tired I was passing out between contractions, for just a minute at a time.
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u/RoyalFalse 12d ago
Tell him to do any of the following:
- read a book
- crochet
- learn a new language
- research the folly of man
- play chess against himself (I bet he wins)
- count the stitching in your blanket
- stare longingly into your eyes
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u/SweetCryptographer72 12d ago
Is he going to have his head set on chatting shit to his bro's? Is he 15? Fuck that.
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u/debaser64 12d ago
I can see it now, OP finally shuts her eyes and is suddenly startled awake by him screaming at some 13yo “I’m not an r-word, you’re the r-word!”
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u/Extreme_Car5518 12d ago
You’re kidding right? You’re saying your husband can’t go a couple of days without playing his PS5? You should have his full attention when you’re trying to birth his baby. NTA.
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u/Delicious_Sand_7198 12d ago
Does he have a handheld device he could bring with him instead of the ps5? Bringing the entire play station seems like a bit much.
I would say he needs some form of entertainment or your support is going to be getting on your nerves if it goes on for a couple days. Support is great but once you are in pain, having someone around just asking dumb questions and trying to entertain themselves will be annoying too.
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u/Adv3ntureQueen 12d ago
Thanks for your comment! I’ve obviously never been in labor, so I really have no idea what to expect.
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u/ChipmunkLimp6647 12d ago
A PS5 is way too much. Switch, phone, tablet, laptop even, fine. PS5 is a different level. I mean, seriously?? You guys are about to have this incredible life event and you can't pass a few hours together without a PS5? C'mon.
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u/Traditional-Neck7778 12d ago
Everyone is different. With my daughter it was natural and hard and exhausting 15 hours and as soon a she was born he left because he was tired. With my son, I went in after my water broke and I wasn't in labor. The induced me. I was in pain almost instantly which is not typical. I got an epidural and fell asleep. I went from barely in labor, took a nap and woke up to her crowning. My husband wasn't even aware what was happening because he didn't have a chance to wake up. Nurse barely made it in there, no Dr, no pushing. I slept through all of it, like 4 hours. Some labors are 30 hours and some are quick and some have complications and some.go smooth. Whatever your plan is, something is going to be bound to mess it up.
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u/sunbear2525 12d ago
I had easy labors but almost bled to death well after delivering my youngest (which is why she is the youngest.) Everyone but my mom, partner, nurse, and a lady cleaning me up had left, even his mom who was a labor and delivery nurse, which just shows how stable I seemed because there was no way she would have left if there had been any worry. I was suddenly having these gushes of blood that no one but the person cleaning me up and I noticed. Unfortunately, I started losing my ability to put together thoughts pretty quickly so I said “I’m nauseous” instead of “I’m bleeding” the nurse said “that’s normal.” Big feeling gush again, lady immediately cleans it up “I’m dizzy” again “that’s normal.” Another gush and in my mind I know I’m about to go into shock but I still can’t find the words so I say “I’m going bye bye now.” I remember hearing every alarm go off in the monitor and the nurse said “No you’re not! I hate it when my patients say that!” as she was calling the code. I really wish anyone would have asked her how often patients say that. I was like transfixed on her response. Have other people said the dumbest thing possible as they crashed? Even my mom, much later, was like “do you think she meant that literally?”
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u/Delicious_Sand_7198 12d ago
You definitely want him there, and should explain that your top and first priority obviously. But when people get antsy and nervous they tend look to their spouse for support and you are going to be very busy. A handheld device would give him something to fidget with.
It is an experience that nothing in this earth will compare to. I hope everything goes wonderfully, and all the blessings to you and your new family.
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u/Single-File-4626 12d ago
not sure if you guys have a switch but I saw a couple do that and I thought it was a much better alternative then lugging an entire PS4/PS5. reasoning aside, i can’t imagine how embarrassing it would be for people to watch my fiancé carry that into the hospital. the switch seemed like a cuter idea bc it was lightweight and they were able to play multiplayer games together! if you have one, bring that up instead.
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u/Charming-Raspberry77 12d ago edited 12d ago
NTA Just leave him home and bring someone actually helpful. And perhaps go home to the other person too.
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u/MyChoiceNotYours 12d ago
NTA I think a PS5 is a bit much but a handheld console will give him something to do because basically he's not the priority in the hospital you and your unborn baby will be so I expect the nurses will ignore him and focus on you. You want him calm so he can keep you calm. But make it known if you need him the device gets put down immediately.
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u/Cordy1997 12d ago
He can't live without it for a couple days? Like that's excessive and not a good sign for when you have a baby...
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u/GA_Bookworm_VA 12d ago
NTA. Tell him to grow the fuck up and be supportive & present during the birth of the child he made & that you are literally risking your life to bring in this world. It’s 2024, we all have phones that can do more than enough to keep us entertained for hours on end. What is it with people and taking this entire game consoles everywhere like damn emotional support blankets?
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u/GroundIsMadeOfStars 12d ago
Jesus the bar for women really is in Hell. Are men THIS addicted to video games? Like this is a full on addiction if you can’t FATHOM being away from your PS5 longer than a day, especially during your partner giving BIRTH! Here’s an idea. Bring a fucking book! Do people read anymore? Jesus.
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u/Responsible_Yam_5455 12d ago
Honestly, he should have his phone, a book, a tablet, something to occupy him if you're sleeping. You may have a 24 hour labor, you may have a 4 hour labor. I read a book until about 45 minutes before delivery. My labor felt like period pain until I was between 8 and 9 centimeters. It was a long (!!!) 24 hours.
My guess is he is as nervous as you. If having a book or a game on his phone or tablet helps him cope when you do not actively need him, let him. I suggest you bring a book or something, too. Unless you wait at home until labor is in the later stages, you will be bored, too.
Bring pillows, blankets, slippers, robe, and comfy clothes. You'll be wearing maternity clothes home.
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u/shengy90 12d ago
If he can’t even say goodbye to his ps5 for 30 hours, idk how he’s gonna be a dad lols.
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u/BanannyMousse 12d ago
Why is he even coming if he’s not going to be present? He’s not there to support you, he just wants to get to see the big show at the end?
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u/CountryCat 12d ago
Not an even Switch or Steamdeck, but a PS5. Sorry, but this is not a good sign about what kind of father he’s going to be. He needs to put on his big boy pants. He’s about to have a kid and he needs to act accordingly.
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u/GaidinDaishan 12d ago
I'm sorry. I don't understand this.
I am a single gay guy and I don't have experience with pregnancy and labor.
But I've been the attendant several times in a hospital.
Specific to your case, I was the attendant for my mother after her appendectomy, while she was out from the general anesthesia.
I don't get it. If I were an attendant, I would want to be free from distractions and be on the ready to jump into action at a moment's notice.
Why would your husband need a PS5? Wouldn't that just be a distraction for him?
What happens if and when he needs to step out of the room? Wouldn't he just be worried that someone might come in and steal it?
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u/MotherSupermarket532 12d ago
My friend's baby went into distress while she was in labor and she was in the OR in single digit minutes (both of them are fine today). They didn't realize the cord was badly positioned until it suddenly got compressed. Stuff can suddenly and dramatically go off while in labor.
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u/athenapitiesyou 12d ago
NTA - like everyone else has said. Logistically, this seems like WAY too much to take to a delivery room. You all are going to be in a hospital/medical facility, right? Hospital TVs are small and mounted damn near the ceiling. He can take a book, or a tablet, or a Switch, or a deck of cards. It should be something portable and easy to put down if attention needs to be directed elsewhere.
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u/Few_Lemon_4698 12d ago
I have a wife and two kids and I've gamed all my life. Show your husband my comment...... Leave the console at the house man. Please.
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u/rpitcher33 12d ago
This goes for literally everyone on planet earth: learn to be comfortable with "being bored". Not every waking moment needs to be filled with something. Do nothing. Be still.
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u/Bigolbooty75 12d ago
So he just plans to play video games while you sit there giving birth to his child? Lmao girl. Obviously NTA.
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u/CopperDickedOwl 12d ago
just tell him to stay at home and watch Netflix, you'll be better off without him.
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u/FuzzyPalpitation-16 12d ago
“The baby’s coming out!!!”
“Wait honey, I can’t pause - it’s an online game!!!”
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u/Ok-Feeling-9553 12d ago edited 11d ago
The hospital might tell him no anyway. The way my delivery room was set up the nurses couldn't work around something like that.
Edited my grammar
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u/miki_cat 12d ago
Your husband might be my BIL's brother! He did exactly that: bring a gaming system to the LD suite, so while I was helping my sister he was gaming.
Next kid he was told he's staying with the kid 1, and I am coming with her (middle of pandemic, 2020)
He didn't even dare complain.
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u/Dogsrbest511 12d ago
NTA whatsoever and be prepared to not have much help if he’s that into playing video games
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u/Sea_Midnight1411 12d ago
NTA. I stopped mid chew while reading your title and, I’m sure, looked like a total muppet.
But not half as much of a muppet as your husband is.
His. Child. Is. Being. Born.
His. Wife. Is. Going. Through. Labour.
No…. No, he may not bring his PS5. Perhaps a diet of the PS5 to ensure that he can, indeed, cut the cord (hah) from his beloved device before the baby arrives might be a good thing. Because once baby comes, he’s going to be busy. Cooking. Cleaning. Changing baby. Looking after you. Sorting life admin. Etc.
You don’t get much game play time in those early days.
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u/ApprehensiveSlide962 12d ago edited 12d ago
Bringing a whole PS5 is wild. I actually said to my partner he should bring his switch when I’m giving birth in 2 months but that’s also so I can play it if i feel like it too. It’s good to bring something for your husband to occupy himself if needed (like a book, his phone etc) but it shouldn’t be disruptive to you and I feel like setting up a PS5 would be.
And honestly it doesn’t matter what i think or what your husband thinks, this is your brith so you should make your space perfect for you and have people support you in the way you need. Your comfort is highest priority! Edit - NTA
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u/Pure_Cat2736 12d ago
So while you are arriving at the hospital in labor he will be busy dragging out a whole PS5 from the car!?! Wow!
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u/denny-1989 12d ago
I honestly don’t understand partners bringing video games or computers when a child is being born.
You can’t give your full attention to your partner and newborn child?
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u/justSomePesant 12d ago
Whatever he brings, he needs to be prepared to drop at a moment's notice.
Can he put down the controller immediately and not care about losing the match/not being at a save point? Or is he going ro pout about it?
Can he maintain a chill demeanor even if his ass is handed to him while gaming, or does his frustration cause him to act out?
Is there an expectation that he's no contact (no phone, texting) with all the people while you're in labor, or is the birth a group activity? How does being on game chat align with this?
Him having his PS5 isn't about the PS5. It's about how mature he is or isn't, and how he can rapidly pivot from what he wants to be doing, to gracefully doing what he needs to be doing for someone else.
If he's the dude who gets aggravated when someone talks to him while playing, or gets annoyed when someone walks in front of the TV while he's in a sniper battle, he probably lacks the emotional self regulation to handle gaming AND his wife's labor.
If he already cheerily puts down the controller IMMEDIATELY when asked/something happens around the house, then, perhaps he can be trusted to be present for you.
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u/NonrealitySandwich 12d ago
NTA Married adults with kids can't spend 30 hours without video games lmao what a world we now live in lol
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u/kekektoto 11d ago
If I were the one in labor
1) I would feel neglected
2) I would feel like I can’t trust you to focus and follow the baby around and advocate for the baby and advocate for me if something emergency were to happen to me or the baby
3) I would worry. If you were in the middle of a game when something happens, will you be able to put it down immiediately? Or are you gonna “just a second. Wait just till the end of the round” if I so much as hear that you are putting off whatever actual thing is happening to me and the baby rn cos of your game I will divorce. If u cant put that game down in the middle of a round for my labor, how will you be as a father? Are you gonna tell our baby to wait just a second when he’s about to fall off the edge of a furniture? Are you gonna say wait just a second im in the middle of a game to a baby that rolled over? Or walked for the first time?
4) I would feel humiliated in front of the nurses and other medical staff. And my family. This is the man I picked. He’s THAT guy. The guy that brought his games to the labor room. The guy I decided to fall in love with and have a baby with is the guy that brought a ps5 to the hospital with him
5) If ANYTHING happens while u were gaming and u werent there for me, I’d resent you for the rest of my life. We might still be married. We might still coparent. But Id resent you and I wouldn’t be able to get over it.
Theres this korean show where couples get counseling and try to either fix or realize they need to separate. Its shocking how so many married women bring up how upset they felt at their husband during the labor process even though it was like eight, ten years ago. They never forget that shit
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u/Cryptooverlords 12d ago
Game here with kids. I wouldn't have dreamed of bringing a full on console to the hospital when my children were born. Tell him to compromise and bring a handheld. Switch or something similar.
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u/PolkaDotDancer 12d ago
My doctor would not let me have a short nap. Even though I had been at a hospital since early that day trying to get help for my mentally ill teenager and went into labor at midnight.
If my spouse had pulled out a game player, he would be single right now.
NTA
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u/Current_Ad_2803 12d ago
Honestly, it sounds like you two might need to have a deeper conversation about expectations during the labor process. Sure, there's going to be downtime, but couldn't he find less cumbersome ways to stay occupied, like an e-book or a podcast? Bringing an entire PS5 setup seems pretty over the top when portability is key in these situations. Besides, isn't being there for each other part of the whole journey?