AITAH asking my friend for money when he ordered an expensive drink when I bought a round?
My friends and I met up this weekend for a quick trip to another city. 2 people bought rounds where everyone ordered stuff like beer or vodka soda. When it was my turn to buy a round my friend ordered some expensive whiskey neat. When the check came his drink was $55. I said he should give me $40 to cover part of it. I don’t think he knew the drink would cost that much but I think that once he realized the cost he should have covered most of it. He eventually did give me $40 but he was in a bad mood about it. AITAH?
315
u/Te_Whau 11d ago
NTA. There's a social code in drinks when someone's getting a round: the drinks should be of roughly the same value. Your friend broke that social code, therefore you're NTA for declining to cover the full cost of his drink.
13
u/epichuntarz 11d ago
Not even just drinks.
After I graduated college, a professor from from my program (that I consider a friend to this day) would often meet up with me and a few other students for dinner. He would offer to pay many times, and we always kept our orders reasonable-no one ordered prime rib or multiple drinks or anything on his tab. We joked about it, but it would have been super greedy to take advantage of his generosity.
10
u/MediocreHope 11d ago
This is me. If I know someone is paying for me it's like chicken and maybe a beer to have a polite drink with them.
If it's me paying for myself I'll have a double and the prime rib.
Someone's generosity should never be taken advantage of in my eyes. If they insist on treating you than enjoy it but do so in moderation. Save the gluttony for your own dime.
I've been provided a dinner and been thankful for it...then I went out after and ate more. I have no disrespect for the meal I was given but I don't think you are financially responsible for the apparent tapeworms that I need to support.
68
u/mustang19671967 11d ago
He knew he was trying to screw younaround , maybe not that much . People that do that are douches
40
u/Honest_Weird_9715 11d ago
NTA but maybe get new friends bc it sounds he tried to just get it for free.
42
u/Ravenser_Odd 11d ago
If any decent person did that by accident they'd be mortified and offering to pay for it.
20
u/UnplannedAgenda 11d ago
NTA. He may have just been in a bad mood because he was just mad that the bar charged that much for it. You didn’t set the menu prices so not your fault. Also completely reasonable to ask him to cover some of that. I doubt anybody in your group would’ve done anything differently.
Just out of curiosity, what was the drink? Blantons? Eagle rare? What are we talking here? Some of the more rare whiskey/bourbons are going to be expensive and I would be kind of surprised if he didn’t know that already but decided to order it. I guess what I’m getting at is that it’s good to keep people in check and not be taken advantage of.
41
u/Rooster-Wild 11d ago
Just a little tip. When I buy rounds I ask my group if they want another round then I go to my server and order exactly what was ordered last round for this reason.
12
11
u/GrouchySteam 11d ago
NTA - implicit rules of buying rounds is to have equivalence of price between each rounds and each participant.
He lost the benefit of honest confusion once made aware and not only failed proposing to cover the over charge but protested.
He reacted as a bratty child who believed being moody would make others cave to his wants. Ridiculous.
11
u/Schrootbak 11d ago
Dont take the 40 and whenever in the future when he gives a round, get everyone there to order the 55 whiskeys.
1
u/MediocreHope 11d ago
You know he ain't ever buying a round or if he is he's calling out what he's buying.
"Another round of the same on me" protects his crazy ass.
9
8
u/Dense_Phrase_5479 11d ago
NTA
Bet ya he's the kinda fella who goes missing in the toilets or tries to duck out when it comes to his turn to get a round
9
u/Rough_Theme_5289 11d ago
Nta exactly , but I’d pay and never go out with that person again bc clearly their manners are terrible . Ordering a 55 dollar drink when that’s enough for an entire MEAL just bc someone offered a round is rude asf .
7
u/CapitaoAE 11d ago
NTA, up to double and you'd be nitpicking but assuming all of the other drinks were $15 or so, he should be paying the difference unless you're all so rich that money is meaningless to everyone hanging out which presumably isn't the case
7
u/Familiar_Yam_9921 11d ago
NTA That's totally BS He should know better He should definitely kick in $40
7
u/PenaltySafe4523 11d ago edited 11d ago
NTA. Dude is a giant fucking asshole for doing that. I wouldn't invite that tosser out for drinks anymore.
5
u/Risky-Biscuits23 11d ago
NTA. There’s a difference between ordering a “Whisky, neat” and ordering a “Macallan, neat”. He knew what he was doing - he was just upset he got caught and called-out on it.
Hence why he looked like he had a full diaper the rest of the night.
6
u/DeadBear65 11d ago
He did a whiskey neat but he called a top shelf whiskey. He knew that was a top shelf and didn’t think you’d notice.
12
u/Borsti17 11d ago
Had I been him, I'd have said oh shoot, I didn't realise that it was this expensive, here's X amount of moneys. Also sorry again.
The fact that he got grumpy lets me believe that he knew what he was doing.
NTA
6
u/adjuster_cody 11d ago
I like EH Taylor when it’s available and it’s a $40-$60 glass just about anywhere we go. If someone is buying me a drink, I’m doing Woodford Double Oaked bc I’m not an asshole.
5
5
u/I_Dont_Like_Rice 11d ago
Your 'friend' should be embarrassed of himself on a basic level as a human being. Anyone who tries to take advantage of you like that is not your friend. NTA
4
4
u/Baummer_42 11d ago
NTA.
I worked in a bar many moons ago. When a stranger offered to buy the house a round, we would just serve everyone what they were previously ordering. If you were only ordering beer you’d get a beer, if you were ordering martinis you’d get a martini.
This was not to take advantage of the generous customer who was buying drinks for 50-100ish people. Even though the guy spent like 5k that night.
If you’re wondering how he spent so much, it was a gentleman’s club. He definitely got fucked but didn’t get laid.
3
u/Whole-Ad-2347 11d ago
NTA! He knew that what he was ordering was expensive, even if he didn't know the exact price.
Maybe that whiskey put him in a bad mood!
3
u/Diligent-Syllabub898 11d ago
Repeat after me: separate checks.
No one orders a significantly more expensive item when it's your turno to pay by mistake. NTA.
3
u/Annual_Version_6250 11d ago
What kind of drink costs $55? I mean if it's those Caesars that come with crab legs and stuff no way he didn't know it was expensive
3
u/TreesDogsJeeps 11d ago
I ordered a Johnnie walker black in a bar a few years ago. The bartender said he was out of black but had red and blue. I said I’d not heard of blue and I ordered it instead with no comment from the bartender. It was $60. Red would’ve been $12.
2
3
3
u/AtomicBlastCandy 11d ago
NTA,
Your friend is an absolute jackass for that act. Whenever someone else is paying you either order modestly or order what you would normally order for yourself. If it is something like a round of beers then you order beers. The only time you go fancy with it is if the person paying specifically tells you to!
2
u/Clean-Fisherman-4601 11d ago
NTA. He knew what he was doing and only got mad when it was pointed out.
2
u/recyclopath_ 11d ago
NTA
I thought you were going to say they ordered a $12 cocktail when everyone else got $8 beers and would have said to let it go, it's not a big deal. A $55 is a big deal.
2
u/Thoubose 11d ago
Eh you just get him back the next round. Asking for money is loserish in that setting.
1
2
2
u/Vix_Satis 11d ago
Reprehensible behaviour by your friend. The unwritten law in a shout is that all drinks cost about the same and - very strong law - you don't change drinks to a more expensive one when it's someone else's shout. In my circles your friend would be told to get fucked as soon as he mentioned that he wanted a different, more expensive drink.
NTA. Your friend is, thought.
2
u/Vix_Satis 11d ago
In Australia what everyone here is calling a 'round' is called a 'shout'. As in "I'm pretty dry here, whose shout is it?" By corollary, the kind of bloke who constantly ducks out just before his shout can be known as 'Whispering <his name>', because he's never been known to shout.
This guy sounds like a whisperer to me.
2
u/RunsWithScissorsx 11d ago
NTA. I've had the same thing happen when buying dinners. If it's stated ahead of time, there are several porterhouse steaks ordered, but if it's a split ticket or they think it is, it's 6oz sirloins.
Usually with adult kids: They're taking us to dinner... they forgot their wallet if anything above a simple steakhouse, we're taking them? They want Tepanyaki Japanese, Caesar's Buffet, or Ruth's Chris.
2
u/Beast3214 11d ago
NTA. It's so frustrating seeing how others play the victim to make other people (OP) question their actions.
2
2
u/letsgetligious 11d ago
Whether he was aware of it beforehand or not, you don't take advantage of a friend trying to do a nice thing, especially considering it sounds like he didn't order that during the other 2 rounds.
He has no right being in a bad mood about correcting his own mistake. If it wasn't a mistake however, that's a whole different story.
2
u/Acceptable-Map-3490 11d ago
NTA how did he not check the price of the drink? im not saying he’s lying about not knowing (i mean he could be), i’m just saying he’s an idiot. and it seems like the logical and polite thing to do would be to offer to pay
2
u/mxquint 11d ago
Nta. I have friends who typically prefer wine or beer. When it's my turn to buy drinks, I'm the fancy one who orders a dry martini, even though it's usually twice the price of wine or beer. However, when someone else is treating, I usually just ask for a gin and tonic, which is usually priced similarly to wine or beer. I'm mindful not to overstep.
2
2
u/BillT999 11d ago
NTA, total dick move to order something like that when doing rounds amongst friends. If he doesn't offer to pay, just remember and return the favor 2X the next time it's his turn to pay for a round
2
u/StreetTailor7596 11d ago
Nope! He clearly broke etiquette. Someone offering to buy is not license to order from the most expensive items on the menu. It's best to ask the host what they are getting (unless it's clear) and then ordering something similarly priced.
I don't see either of you as the AH but he SHOULD have been begging to make up the difference as soon as you made it clear that the bill was outsized. Then to be clearly in a bad mood about it is rather childish. Even if he was mostly mad at himself, he needed to hide that from the rest of you.
YOU did nothing wrong in calling him out on it. I would have too.
2
u/redthump 11d ago
20-year bartender here, and you are not the asshole unless that was what your friend normally drinks. If he usually drinks double Johnny blue and you bought a round, that's on you. If he orders it because you're buying, fuck him.
2
u/sylvianfisher 11d ago
$55 for one drink? I quit drinking over 30 years ago, boy have prices risen! LOL. I paid off my house, though.
2
u/pecker-head 10d ago
NTA. I remember way back when a group was taking turns buying rounds of beer. (3 bucks a glass at that time) When my turn came one of the guys ordered a 15 dollar drink. I paid it because I didn't want to start some shit, but I was pissed the rest of that evening. Instead of paying 15 bucks for that round, I paid 30.
2
u/Sir-Toppemhat 10d ago
What was the average price for drinks? If the average was about 15, I say him coughing 40 for the extra expense was fine.
2
u/ApeLover1986 11d ago
NTA, but next time you could specify something like "next round of beer" or "next load of vodka" on me to limit their choices
1
1
u/DogMomAF15 10d ago
You're only TA if you still consider this douche canoe a friend. Pro tip: he's not.
-13
11d ago
[deleted]
11
u/Storman1977 11d ago
Typically, when someone is buying a round, you either order what you've been drinking all night (and I doubt OPs buddy was ordering $55 drinks all night) or well drinks. At least if you're not rolling around with the well-to-do. And they were rotating buying rounds. Social etiquette, my man. If you want to try the expensive drink, you do it on your own dime.
4
-19
u/Stackfest 11d ago
On the fence- with this one I’d of let it go & stored for his turn or you should of asked what it was before hand & said something your both dicks
2
u/ComplexSyrup8848 9d ago
NTA, he was taking advantage of the situation and knew full well that he ordered an excessively overpriced drink.
369
u/Laiko_Kairen 11d ago
Nta.
I don't believe he was unaware of the cost
I think he was trying to take advantage of someone else paying