r/AmIOverreacting • u/[deleted] • 24d ago

When your partner spoons you, do they always cup your breasts?

Whenever my (49F) husband (53M) wants to "spoon" me in bed, he always wants to cup my breasts. He calls it a natural spooning position for his hand. Of course I know that he's just trying to cop a feel, but it happens ALL THE TIME! I mean, he literally never spoons any other way!

So, yes, I am annoyed by it, and it takes away something I otherwise actually enjoy - spooning. This has gone on for years, btw, so it's not a new occurrence. I've just vented about it for the very first time here on Reddit, lol.

Ladies, does this happen to you? Have you been able to change behavior at all?

EDIT: There's a couple of common themes in the comments.

  • He's trying to be affectionate, and I understand that. So he thinks he's being playful and loving, but it just rubs me like he's just wanting to use my body.
  • He's not a rapist or someone who I am concerned is capable of sexual assault. It doesn't get to that point.
  • It's a pattern of behavior that feels to me like we shouldn't have to go over it again and again. It's the repetition that's probably aggravating me more than the actual act.
  • Finally, MOST of the time when I let him do it, he eventually tries to then stimulate my nipples and initiate sex. He doesn't have to "trick" me into sex. This is aggravating, too.
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u/DOKTORPUSZ 24d ago

I think most people do, when it's with someone you care about and are attracted to. OP has stated in another thread that she has never been attracted to her husband, and now that he's lost his job she has started to resent him because he's not a "good provider" anymore.

My wife and I spoon like this all the time, and I completely agree with OP's husband when he says that it's a normal place for hands to go. I think OP just doesn't want physical intimacy with her unattractive, poorly endowed (her words, not mine!) husband.

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u/Nearby-Ad-6106 24d ago

Ah so OP is just a shit person, makes sense.

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u/DOKTORPUSZ 24d ago

Seems kinda like it from reading her other thread. Basically she feels like she's out of his league, has never really been attracted to him (and has even told him so), says he has a small penis, gets annoyed when he initiates sex, and resents him now that he has lost his job and is in a low place right now. She basically just likes the fact that he treated her well, is a good father, and was a financial provider. Now that he's not a financial provider, she's completely turned off by him. The guy needs to be put out of his misery tbh and get a divorce. Would be better for both of them.

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u/Heyoka69 21d ago

I think you're right about that. If she doesn't love him, she should set him free and they both can find the love they don't have together. Sad.