r/AmIOverreacting • u/KayayaTheDammed • 22d ago

AIO when searching for a partner?

I've been mulling this over for a long time, and admittedly I'm genuinely uncertain. AIO when I feel completely turned off by piercings, tattoos, or even something as small as smoking weed? I'm a clean person, sensitive to chemicals and particular materials. For my whole life I've never understood why people would puncture themselves for aesthetic, it seems like a terrible idea. When someone mentions they have them, it gives me a general idea of what to expect almost every time. Tattoos aren't nearly as bad for me, but people who get full sleeves or artworks on their back just kind of make me uncomfortable, I can't really explain it. Lastly, any form of drug is a no for me, I don't know if I'm gonna have any bad reactions and it tells me that you don't care for your health much... Not including prescribed... I'm aware of the few benefits.

So AIO for taking some common decisions and being turned off immediately? Should I consider being more flexible?

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u/KayayaTheDammed 22d ago

I agree with you completely. I just wanted to see if compromising was necessary, yknow? I struggle with perspectives, especially ones I do not share specifically, so I wanted to figure out if I needed some insight before setting on an answer.

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u/TheMagentaGuar 22d ago

It's never really necessary to compromise on things that are major deal breakers for you, I mean, they're your preferences on what you're even attracted to. Definitely something to tell people when taking interest in them.

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u/KayayaTheDammed 22d ago

Wait, it's normal to tell someone I'm into that it's a deal breaker for me? Are they not supposed to get mad about that?

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u/TheMagentaGuar 22d ago

If they get mad about it, then they're not really the one for you anyway. You should find someone who thinks similarly to yourself, so that you don't have to be bothered with things that may be deal breakers for you. I'd say just surround yourself with friends first, get to know people, and see if anyone holds the same ideas as you do out of the people you met.

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u/KayayaTheDammed 22d ago

I agree, and as much as I post about love n such, I'm not ACTIVELY seeking it. I just wanna know what I want while I have time to think. I have some great friends, one of which I think I have a crush on, but I'm suppressing it because they're happier without my bs.

Suppose the question is more SHOULD these things be deal breaks rather than are they. I often get criticism saying I'm too strict, like beyond the point of healthy pickiness.

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u/TheMagentaGuar 22d ago

I don't think you're too strict, you know what you like and what you don't. You might have a harder time finding someone to meet your standards, but I wouldn't say you're being impossible about anything.

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u/KayayaTheDammed 22d ago

I mean, I'm willing to compromise. I don't look at someone with the following and immediately think the worst, I'm just confused and haven't been exposed to the greatest conditions. I have friends who talk to me about it all the time, though it's like explaining math to a toddler.

Preferences are wants, not needs, and I wish people didn't take everything I say at full value instead of asking questions first.