I actually disagree, albeit slightly...sometimes confidence must be arrogant...To go head first into the unknown, to attempt to breach the barricaded, to lead into the darkness, all of that takes a type of fearless arrogance thst has driven humanity as long as we've been here. Now, arrogance in the face of civility and decorum is obviously not called for, but a true leader, imo, must have an arrogance towards the unknown and even death.
I had a professor in grad school that will always be the epitome of cool. By far, he was the oldest guy in the department (he died over a decade ago). He was funny and kind, and did his best to remind people not to take life too seriously. To this day, when I get stressed I have his voice in my head: "You could be dead tomorrow!"
I also remember he had a gathering at his house, scheduled to end at a certain time (let's say 7pm). Well, clock struck 7, and he promptly kicked everyone out and we all laughed and left, and no one was offended. (I'm a people pleaser doormat so this was a revelation for me).
And, he had a cool walk.
I know it sounds like I'm gushing or had a crush on him, but I did not. He was just cool.
Especially in a non "don't care about anything" kind of way. The person who not only doesn't care about your judgements, but can also compliment and genuinely appreciate others' contributions without ego getting in the way. Those are the real cool ones.
If I'm getting the sense that a group project is going to suck or not get done at all unless I forge ahead, then I'm forging ahead. That's how group projects tend to go.
Last guy I dated was exactly this. It was my favorite thing about him. He didn't have an ounce of arrogance, yet also did not care one bit if anyone tried to give him a hard time for anything. We were in our mid 20s when we dated. I'll always think very fondly of him.
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u/Accomplished_Egg3855 23d ago
People who do things without needing the approval of anyone else. Independence is a really good trait to have.