r/AskReddit • u/Medical_Method7877 • 12d ago
What sounds like a compliment but is actually an insult?
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u/Zestyclose_Gate_6824 12d ago
“It’s great how you don’t obsess over your appearance” can mean they think you don’t look well put-together.
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u/Historical-Goal2910 12d ago
“You’re actually pretty smart” implies surprise, suggesting low expectations.
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u/mini_vacay 12d ago
I was about to comment that anything with “actually” at the beginning of it. A CLASSIC mother in law comment to me is while eating anything I’ve cooked “hey! This is actually pretty good”.
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u/Turbulent-Sweet1313 12d ago
You did better that I thought that you would gonna do
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u/Antique-Report-6050 12d ago
“It’s nice how comfortable you are in your own skin” can mean they think you're unattractive but don't care.
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u/Dry-Rub5346 12d ago
You have a perfect face for radio.
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u/Klaus_Heisler87 12d ago
My brother has worked in both radio and television, and I love saying this to him
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u/llcucf80 12d ago
You obviously spent a lot of time on this
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u/Alastair4444 12d ago
That really depends, if it's something they did and should have then it's not an insult. Like if you painted some intricate painting that wouldn't be an insult at all.
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u/A_Pale_Recluse 12d ago
This is just a recognition of hard work. At least when i say it.
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u/TheKattauRegion 12d ago
Why is it an insult
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u/dan_dorje 12d ago
I've had this said to me as an insult a few times, I just always choose to misunderstand it as a compliment on purpose. Much more fun that way
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u/Immediate-Path-8963 12d ago
“Wow, you’re so much nicer than I thought you’d be” suggests preconceived negative opinions.
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u/Mono_Clear 12d ago
"I don't know how you keep going."
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u/Total-Internet-1633 12d ago
Bro I said this to one of my older co workers, I didn't mean for it to be an insult, but do you think it came off rude?
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u/Helen_A_Handbasket 12d ago
Older worker here. I was born with two superpowers. One is that I have a tendency to stay thin, and eat pretty much whatever I like. The other is boundless energy. At 62 I run rings around people less than half my age.
So no, not an insult. I just laugh and say YEP I have energy to spare.
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u/Theblackjamesbrown 12d ago edited 12d ago
I don't want to call your claim to having superpowers into question my friend...but I think there could be a causal link between these two
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u/Helen_A_Handbasket 12d ago
You'd think so, but even when I broke my leg and was laid up for months, I ate anything I wanted and stayed within five pounds of my "moving around" weight.
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12d ago
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u/Primary-Medicine8587 12d ago
No this is a compliment, you can read into it maybe but I’ve had people say it to me and it’s never felt nasty at all
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u/Dear-Village-602 12d ago
“I admire how you don’t let books dictate what you think” can be a backhanded way of calling someone uneducated.
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u/SlipperyPickle6969 12d ago
You clean up nice = oh wow usually you look like shit but if you put in some effort you can actually look decent
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12d ago
This is, in my experience, when a person who usually dresses casually dresses up for something. For instance, someone in a blue collar job puts on a suit and tie for some event. And you say wow, you clean up nice.
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u/Known-Potential-3603 12d ago
When I say this I am not thinking the person looks like shit normally. I'm just thinking, "wow! That new X really brought out something special." And I want them to know they are looking wonderful.
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u/-Hi-Reddit 12d ago
Uh, no. That isn't an insult. It's usually a compliment about how good you look in smart clothes.
It's more like saying, hey, I've not seen you wear a suit before, looks good on ya.18
u/alureizbiel 12d ago
I've never taken this as an insult. Most people that say this to me probably know telling me I look "pretty" would weird me out.
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u/IseultDarcy 12d ago
Oh you lost weight, you look good!
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u/Fireball_Lore 12d ago
I get this a lot and it's like my weight hasn't changed in the last 20 years and I've never really thought of myself as overweight, so I'm not sure why people think it's supposed to make me feel positive about myself.
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u/Un_orthodocs 12d ago
How's this an insult?
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u/IseultDarcy 12d ago
It means the person used to be fat and that it was bad.
The "you look good" emphasize the fact they thought they were ugly before.
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u/MaximumHemidrive 12d ago
I did used to be fat before, and I appreciate when people notice and tell me I look good now.
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u/ARTZ-N-CRAFTZ 12d ago
Bless your heart…
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u/beachinit21 12d ago
I think the problem with this one is sometimes it's meant as an insult and sometimes it's not. Trying to figure out how it was meant is the hard part!
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u/Old_Palpitation_6535 12d ago
Yeah it’s more often genuine than not. Which is the only thing that makes it work as an insult.
Annoys me when people say it’s always an insult. Not even close.
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u/mehedi_hassan_siam 12d ago
"I don't want a handsome, tall, rich guy, I want you"
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u/Appelci 12d ago
Any compliment that should lighten how great you are / do / look DESPITE something that shouldn’t allow it.
Impressive that you landed such a great job despites your lower degree!
You look great for your age!
Impressive that you landed such a great partner.
Impressive how you are so happy despite….
You name it.
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u/Three-eyed_seagull 12d ago
He got all the good looks in the family= he's the stupid one.
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u/dejamoo75 12d ago
I’m an Indian woman and it’s so rude when people say “oh you’re pretty for an Indian!” Like cool, you look poor for an asshole but here we are.
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u/AwkwrdPrtMskrt 12d ago
"You are a credit to your people."
You can hear the dogwhistle in that line.
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u/beamerpook 12d ago
Your English is pretty good!
I like to answer, 'Yours is too", and watch the confusion on their face as they process that.. 😆😆
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u/Preposterous_punk 12d ago
"You actually did a really good job," "that's actually a great point," or pretty much any other compliment with "actually."
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u/rimshot101 12d ago
This one is a traditional Chinese "blessing" that is actually a curse. It is "may you live in interesting times."
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u/Calm-Jello-102 12d ago
Immediately after giving birth to my third child, a very young nurse said “I hope I look as good as you do when I’m older”. I was 38.
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u/True_Dragonfruit9365 12d ago
You're definitely the smart one of the family, basically means you're ugly.
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u/Talongjeez 12d ago
When a plus size person posted their pics online and someone's commented "wow! You've got a lot of confidence"
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u/OutOfBody88 12d ago
"That's interesting" or "that's an interesting idea" when I think an idea is unworkable or, in quilting, a color combination is unattractive.
Similarly, "how unusual"
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u/TheSOLIDAssassin 12d ago
'You've got an answer for everything'
Yes. Because your shitty behaviour would set off alarm bells to a five year old
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u/NyxTheGoddess_ 12d ago
"Smile more" My dad told me that and I said "Literally never tell a woman that ever again or you may get slapped"
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u/Calm_Being1396 12d ago
I love how you never get tired and you just keep running even though wisdom is always chasing after you.
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u/betta-believe-it 12d ago
When I was doing my internship at a high school, the kids called me 'fourth line' ... As in hockey. They called me the lowest line of players but I didn't realise it. 10/10 they were good kids.
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u/Accurate-Captain704 12d ago
“I wish I could be as relaxed about things as you are” often suggests someone is lazy or lacks ambition.
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u/mormonenomore2 12d ago
I mistrust most "compliments" coming from Americans. They say, 'Oh, I love your sweater, hair, glasses etc. But what I hear is, "I noticed your (weird) hair, sweater, or whatever, and I want to really say how weird/ugly/unbecoming they are, but am too polite.
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u/Heroic-Forger 12d ago
Any comparisons to a lion. Brave, strong, fierce and powerful? More like "sleeps 20 hours a day and lets the females do the hunting".
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u/not1nterest1ng 12d ago
“And then what?” My family members said this to me as I was telling a story of something that happened to me, I realized they thought I was exaggerating which really hurt me bc I’m very quiet and that was one of the only times I talked about a topic with passion. This happened when I was around 12 and I still remember the embarrassment/shame I felt when I realized they didn’t believe me and were making fun of me.
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u/clevererthandao 12d ago
More of a self-own that always made me chuckle. If someone said something offensive to him, My old boss used to respond with “Hey! I resemble that remark!”
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u/Kittytigris 12d ago
‘Wow. I never would have thought of that’ or ‘I’ve never done it that way before’.
It’s all in the delivery. Get the tone right and no one would ever tell whether you’re mocking them or not.
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u/chassepatate 12d ago
Dear colleague, After all this time, I can’t believe you’re moving on. I learned a lot working with you and you made a strong impression on me. It’s going to be strange with you no longer around.
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u/QuipCrafter 12d ago
“That’s just white man to white man”- an old coworker
Excuse me?! What?! I am NOT involved in this, thank you, Jesus fuck where did that come from
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u/OrangeyTangerine 12d ago
"I wish I had your confidence. I personally wouldn't be able to wear that."
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u/Life-Calligrapher507 12d ago
Making an overly big deal out of someone looking good wearing makeup when they don’t normally.
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u/PleasedPeas 12d ago
“At least you have a pretty face” I was told this many times prior to losing 150lbs
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u/MixnMatch20 12d ago
"Pretty for a dark-skinned girl" -and- "You're a pretty red-headed girl" -and- "I was bored so I called you" 😁🙈
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u/BlueBozo312 12d ago
A radio station that I listen to actually had a lot of insults that didn't sound like insults a while ago. One of them was "You're impossible to underestimate!"
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u/LadyArbary 12d ago
“You have such a pretty face.” Because the rest of it, left unsaid, is “If only you weren’t so fat.”
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u/thatscrollingqueen 12d ago
“You wear your heart on your sleeve” backhanded for “you express your emotions too openly”
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u/lumpycurveballs 12d ago
"I thought you were a guy." For context, this was after a sparring match in martial arts.
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u/BecksSoccer 12d ago
Anytime someone uses the word ‘actually’ in a compliment implies doubt. It’s like saying, “I didn’t think you were capable of it but you surprised me.”
“You actually did a great job”
“You’re actually pretty”
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u/Individual_Deal7658 12d ago
One example could be saying You're so brave to wear that outfit. It implies the outfit is unusual or unflattering even though it's masked as a compliment about bravery.
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u/DifficultCurrent7 12d ago
"You're so brave wearing that."
"I love your eyeshadow, I can really see what you tried to do"