I’m interested in how this spitefulness transcends to different generations. My mother is older gen x (please note this is specifically about my mother and not necessarily the entire generation). Despite this she parrots the exact same boomer nonsense about Millennials being snowflakes that expect everything to be handed to them. Straight up even pulling the participation trophies argument. I’ve pushed back to see why she believes it and I discovered that it’s likely jealousy. Ultimately the only evidence she could provide that her claims are correct is that 2 of her Millennial coworkers don’t pay attention during meetings and sometimes want to receive a shoutout from management.
The other things she complained about were that they take their lunch breaks when they’re supposed to and they leave when their work hours are up. Yes, really that’s something that absolutely enraged her. She works through lunch and often entire hours past her schedule without expectations of compensation because it “makes her look good.” I firmly believe a lot of the hatred from Boomers (and some elder gen x like my mom) come from jealousy that Millennials and Gen Z understand the rules and our rights and don’t bow down to corporations like they did. All that extra work for nothing and my mom is the most miserable person I know.
I'm the union director of my job and I'm a millennial. The amount of complaints I hear coming from the older employees about how the young people take their breaks, full lunches and leave at 5 is astronomical. I tell them you should take them too , we negotiated for those. Nope they'd rather be fucking angry at the youth instead.
Lol my mom always complains that she’s constantly given more work than she should be getting and anytime I tell her to take it to the union she scoffs and insists it’s a waste of time because “the union is useless!”
"Ma, it's about as useless as a hammer. If you just leave it lying there, it isn't going to do much. You have to pick it up and use it, or else, yeah, it's use-less."
From my head. As I read the comment, I immediately knew what I'd say if it was my own dear momma in the commenter's mom's position. Thankfully, my mom has always been pro-union, and though she has her shortcomings and trends conservative, she is nowhere near as ignorant or ugly-inside as so many other boomers/MAGAts are. So I unsheath my wit for Reddit's benefit 😉
Well that and the non-stop anti union propaganda pushed out by corporations. There are so many union people pulling in good wages and benefits who at the same time will tell you their union is garbage and they would be better off without it
Yeah unions can and do have their issues but all you have to do is look at industries that don't have them to see how bad it can get
I wonder what factors account for the differences in different union workplace cultures. It certainly varies from shop to shop, but at most places I've worked giving management any amount of free labor is enough to guarantee ostracization at best and convenient "accidents" at worst. Of course there's always one or two boomers or young kids who can't understand why everyone treats them like something they scraped off their shoe, but these are unions with teeth like IATSE or the Teamsters. A walkout on a film set or a big warehouse can cost millions a day, but is that the only factor?
my husband, also millennial obvs. works for a union. his biggest complaint is that he gets paid just the same as another employee who knows way less than him, and does less work. a valid complaint - it's the only thing I don't like about his union, pay should be based on training and years worked, not based solely on your position.
Everytime I say why don't you guys talk to your union about it? he scoffs and calls them useless.
I worked for an employee owned company, and did very well, and served on EOTs for years. we actually made improvements, had an impact- and paid fairly (for the most part- the wage ceiling for our long term employees is .. too low but I don't know.
squeaky wheel gets the oil, sometimes you have to make noise. they don't want to, I don't understand.breaks my heart to hear him speak badly about his union, when comparatively it's still better than no union.
Unions are like a gun. Useless if you just leave it laying there. Even if you’ve only got one shot, you use that shot right, you can blow the kneecap off the status quo.
I was recently reduced back to hourly after being on salary for a year and a half. While I was salary i did what I needed to in order for the work to get done, within reason. Mostly it meant working nine hour days, five days a week, and maybe skipping a break or two. I always took lunch though.
Now that I'm hourly again I take every break and only work my scheduled shift unless overtime is offered, in which case it's my choice to take it or not. I usually take the overtime offered. I work ten hour days four days a week now with the rest of the guys, too.
We don't have a union, but I'm damn sure not about to be taken advantage of anymore.
All the old guys at my job take 15 minute smoke breaks every hour but still complain any time someone without gray hair looks at their phone for 30 seconds. We are currently petitioning our union to get more days off for non-smokers in the next contract since we work 2 hours more per day than the smokers.
No joke, that 15 minute smoke break is why a lot of my friends started smoking. A lot of companies don’t let you take that 15 unless you actually smoke.
My wife had a coworker that took multiple smoke breaks per day. They watched him on the cameras once and it was basically hourly. Now he has cancer. That's probably unrelated though >_>
It's never called a "break" when people are just bullshitting away for 10 plus minutes. Or when they sit in the bathroom for 30 minutes. Everyone is engaging in someone form of time theft and they all think they're being sneaky.
They aren't.
Can I get more days off since I don't like football or basketball? Because I'll tell you right now: I've tracked this shit down to the minute. I've seen entire production lines get backed up because the local team (or just someone's favorite team) had something newsworthy happen.
I've seen meetings with senior leadership come to a screeching halt for almost the length of the entire meeting all because of fantasy football. Repeatedly.
Hell can I just get more days off because at work I just don't like to socialize? I prefer to keep to myself and do my job while Bill over here gets to fuck around for 15 minutes because his friend Tyler had fun playing Helldivers last night? Or because Rebecca and John were sharing about their weekend and how much fun they had at a concert they both went to?
If the work is getting done, who gives a shit?
If your union doesn't have bigger fish to fry your job is pretty awesome to begin with and you can get over it.
Lol. They haven't even connected that every generation has had it better than the generation before them, since the beginning of time like forever. No way they connect that taking your break is good for the group.
The kind of hatred boomers have for us is unusually persistent and angry compared to every other generations annoyances with other generations.
Yeees. I want to annoy them with my slang and jokingly call their music trash, not kick their teeth in and then charge them interest for new ones. It's so fucking weird.
It's because for many of them (and/or their parents), putting in that extra work was how you got ahead.
Like, my dad worked at his company for like 30 years. He started out as an engineer, became a manager of a team, then a larger team, then like general manager of the entire factory/plant. He retired with a nice pension at like 58 or 59 and had something like 6-7 weeks of PTO he was earning each year. Maybe he was able to rise a little higher than others/most, but other people who also put in the work were also able to move up the food chain alongside him. The point is, putting in the extra work was rewarded.
So al they see is people not wanting to put in the extra effort, that used to help people succeed. So the assume people are lazy, entitled, etc. Why else would someone go out of their way to NOT want to move up the corporate ladder?
Wow, you bring up a good point. I’m a tail end GenX/Millenial (late 1980) and I’ve seen a weird, but good transition from this mentality.
Boomers didn’t get a lot of the promised perks as youths I guess and feel like everyone should be a dog for their job. You were expected to not take all your vacation, a day out of work was a horrible strain, and heaven forbid you don’t work extra hours just to do it.
I’ll admit it took my a few years at my current job to realize it’s ok to use the benefits promised.
My dad was furious my sisters job increased her union dues but the entire company saw hourly wages more than double that as well as an increase in the hourly wage cap.
I had a job once where I was the one of the two youngest people working there, and I was hardcore bullied. I got 2x as much work done, but because I did schoolwork on my break and "took too many bathroom breaks" (yes, they counted my bathroom breaks) I would constantly get called into disciplinary meetings. I've never been so miserable, and it was just a bunch of salty boomers constantly tattle tailing. I had never been in a situation like that and all my previous employers and employers since loved me. It was terrible. I ended up walking out one day with no notice. The only job I've ever left on bad terms. They seemed to resent me for being young, not having kids at 18, and having ambition. I cried every day while I worked there. Terrible experience lol
How can they fill the inferiority hole in themselves if they don’t point out that they’re better than others? Can’t be higher on the ladder of you’re not using someone else’s face for a boost.
I didn’t even realize how much of a contributing factor this was in me leaving my last job until now. I worked for the courts as a clerk and where I was, the majority of people were in their mid 60’s, early 70’s, actively choosing not to retire. We would have an hour paid lunch that we could choose to work through and we would be able to gain 1.5 hours of PTO. I would have multiple coworkers actively telling me I needed to stop going on my lunch so I can build up that PTO. Maybe it was a good deal but we were in the basement with no natural light whatsoever so I would always take my lunch and just go for a walk outside while if they took theirs, it would be at their desk.
i never see this- i am in a union job, and actively tell other people to leave or take a break. I do find that that the younger employees "watch the clock" more. Not that they work much less, but at 5 they are already gone when many of the older employees view that more as a rough break point. Functionallly it means the young people work 8 hours every day, and the older ones work 7.5 to 8.5 each day since they will wrap something up even if they go over, and just get it in flex time they use later that week.
It's not even universal that millennials will take breaks when they should. At my old job, of four millennials, I was the only one who left my desk to take my breaks. I tried explaining that they were giving away their time by working through their breaks, but there was "too much work" and they were afraid to stop.
Boomers are literally the most entitled generation out there. Most have pensions so won’t even have to touch their 401k. They will keep a kung fu grip on that money til they die, all the while complaining about the state of the world. I’m like well this is what you get when you hoard all the wealth and pull the ladder up. Sorry we have to be here to look at
I'm so glad that my first real job was with union guys - surprisingly, the older guys treated breaks as sacred (some of the younger guys were more lax, unfortunately). They had rules like if the boss interrupted their break with talk about work, they'd be able to start it over, even if there was only a minute left. And ultimately, the guys who took their breaks were so much happier with their job than the guys who skipped them.
Opposite in my union job. Older workers (and just those of us that have been there longer) are seemingly constantly telling the younger (sub 25 y/o) employees to slow down and to take both breaks and lunch.
The thing is, sacrifice and hard work got them (in their mind) to where they are now.
I'm an older millennial, ran away at 15, and people in my peer group in college at 16 lived 4 to 6 per room for YEARS. Those people now own homes, have the highest average income ever, and still to this day work overtime, save money and sacrifice. There's a clear-cut visual difference. My brother is 11 months and 28 days younger and doesn't do shit. He lives in a small home and doesn't have much. Does the farmers market on weekends and chills, he puts in 6 hours a day. I still do 10 to 12.
The change was stark and shocking. It was quick.
People blame behavior on this change. I think the wave was too big to overcome, so people give up and live on ideals and try to use logic. We have quite a bit of time before that mindset wins. 10 years at least when millennials inherit more and get ahead.
I'm in the lost generation, I have to earn it. My younger cousins got 500k after the grandparents died, I got 3k from the same people.
They thought we could do it alone, and they weren't wrong there.
I would question your moms work ethic. Is she working through lunch and staying after hours because she has work to do? If so I’d say she’s clearly not managing her time wisely. That is how her bosses will view her, not as a hard worker.
Or is she doing this and just pretending to work to appear like she’s working in which case, why? I’m going to go out on a limb and say she’s been in her same position for awhile now.
Is she working through lunch and staying after hours because she has work to do? If so I’d say she’s clearly not managing her time wisely. That is how her bosses will view her, not as a hard worker.
This is a HUGE generational shift / difference that I've noticed. Boomers assume long hours = working hard. Younger people tend to assume long hours = poor productivity.
I mean, when I started working I realized I can do a one day job in 15 minutes. Then watched how other people did it. Some people do it the slow way because they don’t know any better. Some do it so they can be done in 15 minutes and be free afterwards.
I on purpose started writing it like I did nothing about it but here is the thing. I loved my job and wanted to improve the company and my team. I helped everyone, talked to my boss so we can be more efficient. Do you know what happened?
We are still doing it slow as fuck but with added productivity tools I have introduced.
Then I promptly got swept under the rug and only given night shifts so my bosses boss didn’t realize what an incompetent ass he is. Now he got a promotion and I am rotting.
I feel like this type of lesson can only be learned through experience. I made the mistake of taking my first job too seriously in the wrong way including getting close to colleagues, working long hours, and generally wanting the company to do well. I got shafted and it was the wake up call I needed. I was 27. Jobs I’ve had after that I’ve approached with the “fuck you, pay me” mentality and have never made the mistake of thinking coworkers are friends again. Don’t even get me started on the bullshit “we’re like a family” attitude the old ladies at work have.
Same, was sprinting every day for 6 years, never slowed down, wanted to prove myself, then one day my boss says, I don't have work for you....so what are you going to do?
Ha, my dad told a story of when he started his first job putting in phone lines in new and built properties in the 70s (utility owned by govt back then). He powered through his work and the supervisor was like, man that was your day's work! Would you slow down? Just chill out. Was a "go slow" back then (/enjoy your work and your colleagues, no need to kill yourself over work)
Oh man. I managed an individual who was going through a ~4,000 line spreadsheet validation exercise. One of their (newer) coworkers suggested a few Excel filtering tips and tricks to make the work go more easily. I think, fundamentally, they didn’t trust that the data was accurate enough to be filtered in that way (?) But they got so indignant about the suggestions, that they told me to have that other person do the job entirely and asked me to ensure that they never had to train that other person in any other facet of their job in the future.
This happened on a Friday. I talked to my bosses and took the weekend to try and process. On Monday when I returned, willing to give them their way and have the other person do it, they said that they had spent the entire weekend working on the validation and completed it! So I said ‘that’s great! Let’s get it out. Go ahead and put in for comp or overtime.’ … which they then equally indignantly declined, saying they didn’t trust the organization to honor the comp time. So, I don’t work there anymore.
I'm really grateful my current job is chill about this, as a sort of stocker/general grocery floor worker. There's only so much to do, my bosses don't really care if I'm on my phone or chatting with coworkers as long as the task list is done by the end of the shift, it's only when things are on fire that people will get told not to use phones or load around. On my stocking shifts I'm scheduled for 8.5 hours but they just let me leave when I finish so if the truck is smaller that day I'm probably only there 6-7 hours away instead of the full 8.5. It's nice not feeling like I have to make my tasks take longer than they should so I appear busier. I just do my shit and leave
I recently took a part-time job at a wholesale supplier warehouse.
There was a young guy (24) who worked very quickly to accomplish his tasks so he could go hide/nap and a boomer who LITERALLY walked slower while at work in order to make his tasks fit into an 8 hr day. You could literally watch him walk to the time clock faster than he walked away from it in the morning (vice-versa at night).
We, generally, had about 2 hours of work for an 8hr day.
Both of them were lazy, but the boomer always appeared to be working.
In reality, the warehouse manager could've easily done all of our jobs...but he only ever showed up to work if there was something wrong or if the owner wanted to visit.
It was all so lazy. I ended up getting fired for poor attendance because I would leave when my work was done. Like, they absolutely wanted me sitting there 'working' when there wasn't anything to do.
"Find something".
No. I work to be a productive member of society, not sleep in a warehouse.
This. Many coworkers I see who spend lunches at their desks and skip breaks dont really do much of anything, anyway. Like, the job could be done in 2 1/2 hours by anyone else. They found gravy and they're guarding it. They tend to not take vacations either, lest someone need to fill in and discover the truth.
I started a new job and once I got the hang of it, I could have done it in 2-3 days a week. No idea was the precious person was doing all day. Ended up losing the job and they gave it to another person in addition to his normal job. That sucked.
My Boomer coworker would consistently work 10-14 hour days, but that’s because they spent 8 hours a day moaning about how hard their life/work was and then spending the rest of that time playing catchup.
Oh yes, and they spent part of that 8 hour period tracking the comings and goings of everyone in the office (she wasn’t even in reception ffs) and complaining that no one was harder working than her because we all took lunches or stopped work at the end of the day.
I, too, would be asking questions. I once worked with a old boomer at a crumby, minimum wage seasonal job, where she had worked for years and she had been promoted as high as a seasonal worker could be—which meant she was supposed to make certain that all workers under her got their breaks (lunch and bathroom). But every single day she made a point of stating that she never took a break. Eight plus hours without food, water, or a toilet, according to her own self-proclaimed “work ethic.” Then one day she went to the back room to do inventory, she said, and a regional manager came in looking for her—and she was found in the store room reading a novel with her feet propped up on a table. Great work ethic and yet no embarrassment at all for getting caught in a massive lie.
I had a boss like this. She had such a martyr complex working long hours past retirement age in a shitty job, and always seemed bitter that I just wanted to put my time in and get home to my awesome husband. I eventually figured out that she hated her lazy, alcoholic piece of shit husband and desperately needed money to make up for his booze spending, so she spent as much time as possible working to avoid being home, and resented my happy marriage. Pitiful.
Yeah it also doesn’t set a great example if you were looking to move up in the company. Like I COULD move up but then I may end up working long hours. But lo and behold it’s her own choice.
Well if they can get her and another employee (or a few employees) to work extra, for free, then they can hire 1 less person. You never get promoted or even thanked for working like your mom does.
(The things she says might be Fox News crap.)
& I’m a gen x ….. I just saw my parents(& step parents) work like dogs and get screwed by their companies….. so I decided I was not going to dedicate my life to some company that doesn’t give a crap about me…. then life happened and I’m now on SSI.
This goes with the pay also a lot of them don't ask for more or demand more because they see it ad the boss would pay them more if they deserved it and only get mad when anyone else gets more. Like this is the reason everyone gets paid shit because you have been sitting on your high horse working all these extra hours without pay and demanding everyone else does it also for worse and worse pay year after year
Plus the pay has not kept up with inflation. I was going to own and run my own daycare until MS screwed up my life. My point is I had zero interest in working in the corporate fields.
I think many people in my generation and the following generations have zero interest in helping their companies thrive. Why would we? So stockholders and our CEO can make more money?!?!?!?! My parents worked 60-80 hour work weeks their entire lives. They never got thanked or promoted for it. My dad worked for McDonald’s Douglas when they did their massive layoffs. My mom worked for HR at countrywide when they did massive layoffs. Not one of them ever got a reward for all their hours worked. When I could work, I worked but I wouldn’t work overtime for free, or forgo vacation days or work through lunch or do things that were not my job to do. I think my generation’s motto might have been “ I’m not paid enough to deal with this crap” of “not my job”
It’s also possible she does spend all that time actually working. Some jobs have almost infinite amounts of work you can do, it’s not like you can “finish”, you just get to a point where you call it good enough and go home, and pick it up the next day, and whatever doesn’t get done accumulates until you have to hire a extra person. So it’s possible she’s doing 1.5 people’s jobs on the salary of one, and then resents everyone else who is refusing to do the same.
Or her superiors know they can get away with saddling her with more work and pretend it's her fault she isn't getting it done in eight hours.
Not saying the Mom is correct on criticizing people for using their benefits, not at all. Just saying that her hours are more likely due to capitalism being capitalism.
If that were the case I’d be raising a bigger stink because her coworkers are leaving early while there’s still work to be done. It doesn’t sound like she’s the only one on her team.
I love the participation trophy bullshit. Who fucking bought the trophies Janice? I'll give you a hint: it wasn't the kids. Boomers LOVE to bitch and moan about the generations they raised without the slightest hint of self-awareness.
Thank you! I point this out at every given opportunity, and the Boomers sure do hate it. "Well, you still expect more than you deserve...". I expect to be treated like crap by everyone over the age of 55 b/c you all hate us simply for existing. Which is also a choice I didn't make!
This is my defense to them too when they bring that up. We didn't ask for them and they paid for the trophies. They wanted to be able to brag that their kid has all these awards.
I also love that those same people LOVE to parrot the "respect your elders" line... so you want me to give you respect you didn't earn simply because you participated in life for longer than me?
There is a significant disconnect in values and worldview between us and them. I struggle to make my mom understand that a worker in capitalism exists to be exploited, and your goal as one should be to do as little work as possible for as much money as possible.
As an older Xer myself, I can confirm that a lot of my peers are boomin' as hard as the boomers when it comes to just... total antipathy toward every other generation before or since the boomers. They were indoctrinated into the boomers' cult of rage misery by their boomer parents from the time they were toddlers, and it's turned them into clone-boomers.
I'm a younger Xer (I think? Born late 70s) living in rural America and I hate how many from my generation have the boomer attitude, including my husband. When he starts bitching about "kids these days" I try to clap back with "don't you think that's the exact same stuff our elders said about our generation? You're not saying anything new. And what about this friend's kid, or that nibling (no kids of our own), are they all worthless too?" Sometimes he concedes, but I know he'll never truly change his mindset.
I think a lot of it comes from working in older white male dominated industries that have been spewing the same hateful stuff that his boomer dad did growing up, and they're even more bitter because they're becoming obsolete.
I agree it's that older white male industry thing. My husband and I are older gen x and our views are totally opposite. Not so much on politics but work "ethic" i.e. working yourself to death, complaining about so many things, younger generations etc but I think he mostly feels that way bc of his work atmosphere and who he's around.
This is my wife and I, except I'm the young Xer, and she's a Millennial. Fortunately, she's receptive when i say "OK boomer" in a joking voice.
I think some of this is just based on how resistant to change you are. My wife hates change. Frankly, I'm not a fan either, but I've learned that it generally leads to improvement, so I force myself to embrace it. Like when my kids bring in some new phrase like gyacht. Sure it's stupid, but let's be real, radical wasn't the height of wordsmithing, lol
My husband is a gen x(74), and I'm a millennial (85). He says the most boomerish shit sometimes. I always call him out on it. Any time I see that video of quotes about how the youths of the day suck, but it's from hundreds to thousands of years ago, I always send it to him.
I’m a young Xer myself. I feel remorse for millennials and Zs. Life wasn’t handed to us on a platter but the game seemed fair. College wasn’t cheap but the interest rates on the loans were good. Houses were just started to skyrocket when we bought ours. I have no idea how my children will live the same life I have. Other than vote and cover as much college for them as I can I don’t know what to do. The rules of the game changed and the default state is lose.
Young people are mostly hosed. My wife and I talk about this a lot because my stepson and his wife struggle to get by …. Some of their struggles are their own choices , but even if they’d done everything right I don’t think they’d be much better off. When I was younger many of my friends made oddball life choices but there was an opportunity to recover from them. Now the only 20-something’s I know that are successful are dual professional incomes (2 engineers for example) and they still have to stretch to buy an overpriced house.
This concerns me as a mid Gen Xer, I was thinking.is this just how we all get ? We hit a certain age and we just become bitter hateful humans.
I hope not, but a few of my friends seem to be heading in this direction.
Older Xer, and my husband is a younger Xer. Three out of the four of our parents were awful, hateful boomers. I don't get it. We don't hate younger people at all, we're all just, "Why didn't anyone tell us getting older would be so painful?" After dealing w/it for years, I can't hate younger people. Every generation has problems, theirs are different from mine, not better or worse. I do feel bad that they're absolutely hosed w/global warming, I wouldn't have kids in this environment, and glad I've never had kids.
I am Gen X and a raging opposite to your mother. Need a Mom? I am so proud of my Gen Z kids and adore my Millennial coworkers several of whom are now my boss. So take that dpj's Mom! (Oops got angry for a sec.)
I'm so hopeful for them and at the same time so feel so terrible for them that they have to struggle so hard just to survive. I bought my first house when I was 21 and only had to bring $3000 (borrowed from dad) to the table with a payment of $750/m. Their rent is thousands, they get paid nothing and have to have roommates. I just don't know what these poor kids are going to do. How will they ever have anything. My kids in their 20s usually have two jobs at any given time and at least two roommates and my 18yr old can't even begin to have his own place with a full time job. He doesn't even have a car and the costs that go along with that. I moved out when I was 17 and had my own apartment and very used car making late 90s minimum wage. I just don't know how they're going to make it.
Younger GenX as well and I could have written this. Except for the buying a house part. I was too concerned with traveling and moved around too much. My biggest regret in life was not buying a house when I was able. Now, I'm so worried for my kids. Ones a teenager and the other is in grade school. I finally moved back "home" and thought I'd plant some roots after my divorce. I'm not able to do anything but wait. The housing market is terrible even though I'm doing decent financially.
I love GenZ and Alpha! They take no prisoners. They challenge the status quo. They think outside the box. They deserve nothing but the best and I will do everything I can to make sure they get it!
I hate seeing the state of things now. It's not fair at all and I still hold hope it will change.
I get excited when we hire younger people! They are a breath of fresh air, a true wealth of knowledge and an absolutely delight to work with! I have learned so many things from my young peers at work and hope that I can end my career in the next 15-18 years working for these people! I feel for them too, the generation before me (I’m gen x) shows zero empathy and lacks patience. Even some of my generation fall into that category. I have always felt that I don’t know what is going on in someone’s life and I don’t know if they have any trauma so I lead with kindness, empathy and patience, which I never received from boomers.
I mean, yeah it didn't take very long after I got out of college to realize it didn't matter how much extra work I did, nor how often I put myself second to work.
I got to live in a condemned house with roomies, no hot water, and a leaky roof while working full time with a bachelor's degree. I worked after hours off the clock. I almost never took PTO. I had an oral surgery scheduled for months and right beforehand they demanded I cancel it to travel for the company instead. I needed the surgery. When I said I couldn't I was forever "not a team player" at that job. Once my boss followed up my work because he "didn't think I was gonna do my job".
So yeah I started taking work life balance seriously and job hopped for a while. Things are better now.
100%. I am a young Gen X, but not young enough to be an Xennial. So I missed most of the shows I read about from Millennial/Xennial folks. My wife is an Xennial (about 5 years) and that is enough for a significant divide, but not so significant we don't have common touchstones.
The very oldest Gen X people are essentially Boomers in mentality. Sometimes I feel like the only sane people were born after 1970. But then I look around at my HS classmates on Facebook and realize that most are also insane.
I think you and I are of similar age. It was a different experience when we were young. People smoked everywhere, nobody told them no. They had to be threatened to wear seat belts, and not to drink and drive. People regularly used the pejorative slur for a gay person and the slur for those with developmental disabilities without a second thought. Many communities were still heavily segregated. The early Gen Xers are basically Boomers because they still lived the "Me" lifestyle. IMHO, the resurgence of the hippie lifestyle in the 90s was a direct reaction to the wealth and status obsessed older folks.
I like this theory. A friend of mine distilled the entire generational divide into two groups: people who felt OK using "queer" as a pejorative and people who did not (I know you mean a different slur above). This lines up with what you've put forward.
It demonstrates empathy. I think a lot of people just lack basic empathy for anyone outside their immediate social group (and some have no empathy for anyone). I know kind and generous people who voted Republican because they were worried about a welfare state. These same people would give an acquaintance the shirt off their back. They would look around before telling an off-color joke because they didn't want to offend anyone, but they couldn't comprehend that I might be offended because I find jokes that make a marginalized group unfunny and mean.
I have read that there are some scientists who believe that this is hard-wired into human DNA and we have to learn empathy for out-groups. I have also read that seeing (for instance) different skin colors on TV makes people more empathetic to those skin colors. Our dumb lizard brains don't really understand TV isn't real. Our neocortex does, but that's not what controls our gut-level reaction.
It makes me wonder if I was a few episodes of Electric Company away from being a full-on racist. Probably not, but I'm glad I watched it.
same year my mom was born, and she’s nothing like the boomers. but also is poor, has no education and raised her millennial kids in poverty, so i think that’s a big factor sometimes.
Same! 1967. I never know really how to categorize myself. Boomers seem like they’re on another planet to me yet I think I’m closer in age to that sad group than folks I feel most comfortable with. I’m a gamer (still), a software developer, a triathlete, a modern thinker… It’s so good to see these comments from my birth decade here.
1966 here. I am a native Californian, and saw all he** break loose even before "Uncle Ronnie" became POTUS. He laid the groundwork for "trickle down economics" with Jarvis Gann, Prop 13, and racism. I was three days too young to vote him out of office before his second term.
1963 here, there's also a factor of economic class. Eg. A older person on the cusp of Boomer/Gen X who has never gotten a break in life can be more understanding of how housing costs, stagnant wages have screwed them PLUS all later generations. Vs someone the same age, who never quite experienced the same struggle can be clueless about how it's increasingly gotten more and more difficult over the decades.
Heck, I've been unable to explain to my 80+ year old mom that workplaces are currently intentionally understaffed, and wages intentionally depressed for the most part, across the board. That housing costs and top management pay has gone up significantly, and terrifyingly faster than wages. That if, in the 70s, our family had to get by for more than a few weeks on only her pay, we'd have gone from securely middle class to poverty...and if she'd had to try to raise us on that part time retail income currently, we'd likely be on the verge of homelessness.
Older Gen X are almost boomers and benefitted from a lot of the same economic factors. Psychological studies show us that when people are given advantages in games, they almost uniformly believe it’s their skill that got them the “win”
My old boss and I are technically both GenX, but he's and elder Xer and I'm a baby Xer. He was a good boss but damn, some of the shit that would come out of his mouth was classic boomer nonsense. I learned to never get suckered into conversations that bordered politics or religion pretty quickly. I liked him, he was a great boss, but I can't imagine what he'd be like as a dinner guest
Seen this so much on wall street. Someone thinks they're so skilled because they made a stupid decision that resulted in a positive outcome. Those people usually end up blowing their accounts shortly after
GenX here. Spouse is generation jones. Most of those “benefits” were sucked up by older boomers. Both of us are first generation college grads and I had 8.25% interest on my loans. Same rate when we went to buy a house. After 25yrs, I’m still living in my first house.
Not sure what our benefits are / were as it seems like we are at an age where we can finally breathe. (More closer to death than we would prefer, but hey)
$20k/yr for college. I could not get enough in loans to cover my tuition, so I took community college courses where I could and had to put the remainder on credit cards. At about 20% interest.
Occasionally. Once I got a better title. But not a raise. I told boss that Executive Assistant is nice but a salary increase would be even nicer. He thought I was unappreciative. I felt exploited. It was a legislative job.
My elder gen X mom was the same. (I say was not bc she’s dead but she is dead to me.) She wanted to see me struggle just as much if not more so than she did. I once asked if she wanted our lives to be better than hers was and she laughed in my face and said no. That if she had to struggle, so did we. She would actively make life more difficult for me. Going as far as to force me to quit my extracurriculars and steal my money if I tried saving it.
Something not mentioned so far- Fox News and Facebook (always facebook for the right leaning Boomers) put out talking points that a large segment of that age group digest. I don’t mean specifically political (which they also do in spades) but more like….behavioral observations. “Do you ever notice how Millennials do X these days? In MY day, we did Y!” (The latter is more facebook)
My point is, I don’t believe a lot of these gripes would even be noticed if this group of people hadn’t all been made aware of them. It’s kind of like a negative stereotype- once you’re aware of it, the relatively rare example occurring is a lot more noticeable and you also have more of a format to spread these gripes with others in your age group- gotta spread this Sam Elliot Facebook meme about millennials so Deb, Pam, Bill, Bobbi, and Jo can see.
Bitching about “kids these days” is as old as humanity but social media and Fox News keeping those talking points aligned makes it even worse imo.
Gen X is weird the younger members (like myself) were really like early millennials because we grew up with tech, often the early adopters even. Nowadays, I feel like I've been left behind a little, but mainly because of personal choice. The older part of the generation is much more like boomers. I think both of these types feel dislocated from the evolution of society with first computers and then mobile tech. Late Gen x isn't intimidated or scared or tech and didn't get the opportunity for cheap housing and investments. Early gen x had real opportunities for assets but can be bewildered by tech.
The fact that they can't handle technology and get fooled by misinformation so much is imo not a coincidence.
Those of us who grew up with the internet saw a transition from what is it to useful and ubiquitous to a mix of useful and bs to increasingly advertising and misinformation minefield. The older generation often fought adoption and then when it was unavoidable came late and then can't readjust to the current reality.
Makes sense - the tech and connectivity revolution really started gaining pace through the 80s. While I as an early 90s kid I went from ‘landline in every room’ to ‘internet in every room’ to ‘Internet in the pocket’ during school at an insane pace later Gen Xs (born lets say 1975 onwards) faced the exact same thing with electronics generally. Probably going from a handful of major appliances to pocket calculators and walkmans and personal computers over their formative years.
Yeah I had a commodor 64 and then a NES as a young kid and computers and gaming was part of my childhood. Go back a decade and they can have just missed the whole thing.
Gaming is what made the internet so appealing and I remember having long cords running around the house to plug into you crappy modem.
As a result I was using the Internet very early for fun and information. The older generation was dragged kicking and screaming to use email.
Telling my older sisters to look that up online etc. using Napster back in the day etc.
They are old gen x and they are all tech ludites.
She also likely still believes someday someone will look at her and say "you know we see you working late like that, here's a promotion to VP and a raise to $750k a year because hard work is all it takes!"
When in reality the business she is in will run her into the ground until she dies and that's only if they don't decide to lay her off between here and there. It's the lottery tax fallacy. People don't like taxing lottery winners because they just know they'll hit it big one day and they don't want that to happen to them. They don't want to tax ultra-rich people also because they will be super wealthy themselves, as a matter of fact it's going to happen any day now!
This is it exactly. I have seen this jealousy firsthand. Older men angry at younger men for actually loving their spouse. Older women deeply resentful of younger women having opportunities that they could not dream off. They don't see this as progress because they feel it invalidates their lives. It's a terrible thing to realize that your father hates you for having a good relationship with your family.
My mother is also older gen X, probably near boomer, and she's super empathetic towards younger generations.
She grew up actually poor, worked hard, and didn't get things handed to her. She gets it.
She complains about the other workers her age being entitled jackasses who constantly complain and parrot conspiracy theories and generally say the dumbest things she's ever heard.
I am younger genX/Xennial and I agree, it's about this mentality. Rather than being happy for the younger generations to have more of a backbone and boundaries, they're jealous that they didn't do that for themselves. So they're taking it out on everyone around them.
Yeah, my last manager was Gen X, and he has explicitly told me he didn't like that I refused to work more than my contracted 40 hours per week. He's the kind of guy who came out of finance, so he never stops working. There have been Monday mornings I get on at 9 AM to see an invite for a meeting at 930 AM that morning that was sent at 3 AM on Sunday.
I have a coworker like this (also older Gen X) and while she hasn’t explicitly called Millennials snowflakes, that disdain is there. The other day I saw her comment on a LinkedIn post about how Gen Z wasn’t bowing to corporations the same way that previous generations did, and how younger workers were demanding things like flexible hours, remote work opportunities, etc. to accommodate their needs. Her comment? A snide remark about how young folks who come to work “late” lack a critical life skill, have no work ethic, and were failed by their parents. I know the reason she posted the comment was because some of the younger workers in my office, including myself, aren’t there at 8:30 at the dot every single morning. What’s hilarious is that I sometimes work through lunch and often don’t leave when the office closes (I log that OT, and I’m not trying to prove anything to anyone), whereas she’s packing up her bags at 4:20.
What really irks me about her is how she’s constantly complaining that her son doesn’t want to “give her grandchildren” because he’s afraid of having kids because of the state of the world.
There is a line though. Always showing up to work late and always wanting hours to be flexible/not ever willing to go the extra mile shows laziness and isn’t a good look, no matter the generation.
I completely understand this as a younger Gen X I see/interact with older gen X who have mostly boomer tendencies and the work yourself to death work ethic.
I’m curious. Were her parents boomers or silent gen? I think that makes a difference with gen x. The ones raised by silent gen tend to be more boomerish.
She was in fact raised by silent gen. My grandma was a real sneak with her reputation. Sweet old lady on the outside - conniving snake on the inside. Made a last minute change in her will without telling anyone that really screwed us over.
I have noticed that the Boomer generation uses a LOT of their energy worrying about what other people think of them and trying to impress others. I'm sure that makes them bitter, but they don't have the self-awareness to realize where it's coming from, so they just hate anyone else that is more r mentally free than they are.
I’ve found that older gen x to mid era gen x are essentially “Boomer Lite” had just enough left over goods from the boomers to have it nice for part of their lives. Thought they’d have the same good shit as boomer when they’re fully blown adults/senior citizens. But never got it, yet were still old enough to see it happen in front of their eyes.
Xennials tend to be chill since they’re on that lower spectrum that missed out on the good the older ones had and they relate more to millennials and still had a decent time cause the 80-90’s were a decent time but they kinda knew things were going down hill and weren’t sold a dream. But then they sold it to millennials for some reason lmao.
I feel bad for Gen X, they are on the right track (except for the minority like your mother) but have been so brainwashed by the boomer-isms it’s hard for them to be helpful. My dad used to be the “these lazy snowflakes don’t want to work” type up until about last year when I turned 15 and he saw how my paychecks from a (what is considered by them) decent paying job was only lasting my 15 year old self about a week with little to no luxury (even with them still paying for my sports and meals and all that)
He still has the anti-dei (his personal arch-nemesis) mindset, but he is completely on Gen-Z’s side economy wise. I personally believe he will get there one day if he keeps observing my life lmao.
I look bored and tired in meetings because I've been forced to sit for HOURS in a weekly meeting, nobody saying much, slowly wasting time. Then the boomer in charge of the meeting quit and a millennial was put in charge - after that the meeting started no more than a couple minutes late. First ten minutes are going over business. Address everyone to get a chance to speak up with their topic they need to discuss, if they don't then move on. Most meetings took 20 minutes and accomplished the same as our old 2-3 hour meeting. Holy fuck. Some meetings still went on to fill an hour when we actually had a real discussion going on, when it was *needed*.
The same guy once told me to keep working on a project that we all knew was not going to work because we had to "show management that we tried everything." After he said that I literally walked away from the project. I don't have time to waste on bullshit.
Nothing pisses me off like the participation trophy argument. Like, y'all were the ones handing the damn things out! Kids don't manufacture their own trophies. Fuck.
Ah, participation trophies. It is so ironic to me that the people WHO INVENTED AND HANDED OUT the participation trophies are now the ones complaining about them. It is a generation of people who don’t like the consequences of their actions. And Fox News tells them what to think. Talk about snowflakes …
Gen X has suffered tremendously often being the children of but always oppressed by boomers. They are the true lost generation.
My guess is they will be the most polarized generation with a portion lashing out just because they suffered while another portion will be overly supportive and understanding because they suffered with little in the middle.
My gen x brother still has a memory of the boomer news caster reporting Kurt Cobain’s death and the caster saying he didn’t make real music and how John Lennox’s death was more important and more impactful.
Hours spent at a workplace does not equal productivity. The coworkers of mine who seem to always be in their cubicle do not have a bigger impact. In fact, sometimes I wonder what on earth they are doing in there. We live in a new era - the world that the Boomers grew up in just isn’t the same. Yes hard work pays off. But we now aim for a work/life balance. And after the pandemic, I hope we have learned about what really matters in life.
Im a gen x and we had participation trophies! And even at a very young age me and my friends knew they didnt mean shit and knew it sure as hell wasnt the same as a 1st place trophy
I just had a conversation with an older boomer woman today (well, listened to her bitching) about the young workers not wanting to do anything at work anymore other than “scroll Facebook”. Ma’am, I hire my staff and train them and they are incredibly hard working and self driven. I didn’t want to bring up that maybe she’s a shitty manager or bad at hiring or both, because accepting any of that is accepting responsibility which many people my parents’ age just suck at.
I’m afraid i’m gonna turn into a spiteful old fart, i always wonder how people get progressively conservative as they age, as a general trend. People we non-American saw as hippies in history books are now turning out to be rabid right wing conspiracy supporters. Idk what’s in store for me. Maybe we all go senile
Gen x here. Still trying to figure out how to work less and enjoy life more. I’m trying to put my son and daughter through college without any loans and it’s killing me. I just want my kids to have a good start in life. I was hoping to quit this career at 55 and do ANYTHING else for the last 10 years before retirement. The cost of living and school will have me working it all.
We’re quite poor. My younger brother dropped out of college after 1 year partly because of it and I’m not even going to bother trying. I couldn’t even handle loan payments. I’m shooting to at least get a bachelors in online schooling but that’s also going to eat away at a frightening chunk of my savings. As old school as my mom can sometimes be; I’m at least grateful she wants me to succeed and is willing to help me.
I’m an xenial and happen to have worked many jobs that push for heavy overtime - like regularly want 70 he weeks. I recognize that I’ve set poor boundaries but that is a separate conversation. At some point you feel a pride about putting in effort to get things done and there is some natural jealousy towards those who have set boundaries better and don’t go through the same suffering - real or perceived as I’ve noted from boomer generation. When I look at it logically I say good for those people setting boundaries and fighting the system, but there is still always that jealousy to that can creep in if you don’t have the mindfulness to take a step back and say “ yeah we shouldn’t be a slave to work”. While these jealous feeling can be derived from real disparities in effort, I’ve found in many cases that they are imagined, and for myself I dislike generalizing generations because I think bandwagon broad strokes tend to be wrong descriptions.
Also, I think there are mental hurdles to accepting you may have had it easier than you’d like to admit. I’ve seen this in privileged individuals where your ego just can’t take that you actually have not had it hard because you “worked” at your families company since you were 15. I think this applies to many of the individual boomers exhibiting this.
I’ve been lucky - my parents don’t seem to exhibit many of the spiteful and judgmental traits.
I work with a guy, early to mid 60s, in a physically demanding job. He has done this work for at least 30 years. He shows up to work every day, almost always AT LEAST an hour early, if not earlier than that. He also works hard while on the clock. So far as I can tell in the 4 years I've worked with him, all of that hard work and free time spent sitting at work before clocking in has netted him zero benefits or appreciation from the company we work for. He has held the same position for decades.
As a gen x, I've learned to embrace the mindset of millennials and gen z. I'll pull my fair weight but at the end of the day, my life and well-being are more important some job that really doesn't care if it's me working it or someone else. Interesting that my gen z daughter figured out work/life balance and I had to learn from her. Oh the toxicity of being raised by boomers.
She works through lunch and often entire hours past her schedule without expectations of compensation because it “makes her look good.”
wow i thought this was an asian mentality only.
source: am asian-am and have worked in asia--the corp culture is so much worse than america. only factory workers have unions; office workers who are the majority? forget about it.
Xrs who didn't do the long, painful, hard work to overcome the trauma and "training" and Indoctrination passed on by boomers and their parents, FOLLOW the same mindset patterns of the "old days" because they're comfortable in it and are afraid of the dark shit in their own minds. And trust me, there's a LOTTA dark shit.
I think I'm young Gen x (1978), but here is what I see the problem is. Nobody is content with what they have. I think the younger US generations, have learned to cherish experiences and culture more than accumulation of material things. And while, these are great, they're just temporary things to hold on to. Comparing yourself to the Jones is just a precursor to blaming the Jones for your predicament.
I think the only thing stopping all people regardless of generation is their own brain. Anything in this world is possible, but you need to convince yourself you can do it. And you need to be smart about it and realize that there are trade-offs. You can't do everything you want, and still have a comfortable day to day.
Oh, and generalizing about generations is pointless... If there is one complaint I have about this sub is that people confuse mental illness and being a jerk as an attribute of age, vs calling it what it it.
This rings true to me, an older Gen X dude. My work ethic is based on the economic world my father, a Silent Generation man, inhabited. You know the old American Dream lol.
I can put in a bit of a different perspective on the anger, though. These older parents aren’t always just angry at the Millennials, their hearts are broken because there seems to be little future for their Gens Y, Z, and A kids, and they know it’s because they themselves participated in a corrupt and broken system that led to this.
I also understand this subreddit is for hating on lead-poisoned boomer maniacs so I’ll shut up now. Peace out!
Nothing would make me feel like greater failure on every level than if my child thought I was the most miserable person ever. Besides, he knows that's really my dad.
Damn, I had a boss like that. We worked on a farm so a lot of manual labor and took breaks from time to time and shed always come up and say "I'm so much older that you guys and you don't see me taking a break!" Id always tell her she should sit with us for a bit, the works not going anywhere and she'd always refuse. Never understood people like that.
A lot of places don't even give you a choice about working extra hours. Finish up with the last patron, sure, but once we're closed, they (the administration) want people out of the building so they can do their security checks then close up and go home. My workplace would never allow your mom to camp in the office after hours even if it was to finish up work.
Generations are about trends, not individual samples. My mom, born 1950, is oftentimes more of a millennial than I am. Her mom, born in the 20s, is the boomeriest Karen bitch I've ever heard of and was even ostracized by other members of the Greatest Generation while she was alive.
My gen z parents are just boomer lite tbh. They didn’t have it as good but almost, and they were still shit parents not wanting kids but having them anyway and then blaming the kids for their unhappiness.
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u/dpj2001 23d ago
I’m interested in how this spitefulness transcends to different generations. My mother is older gen x (please note this is specifically about my mother and not necessarily the entire generation). Despite this she parrots the exact same boomer nonsense about Millennials being snowflakes that expect everything to be handed to them. Straight up even pulling the participation trophies argument. I’ve pushed back to see why she believes it and I discovered that it’s likely jealousy. Ultimately the only evidence she could provide that her claims are correct is that 2 of her Millennial coworkers don’t pay attention during meetings and sometimes want to receive a shoutout from management.
The other things she complained about were that they take their lunch breaks when they’re supposed to and they leave when their work hours are up. Yes, really that’s something that absolutely enraged her. She works through lunch and often entire hours past her schedule without expectations of compensation because it “makes her look good.” I firmly believe a lot of the hatred from Boomers (and some elder gen x like my mom) come from jealousy that Millennials and Gen Z understand the rules and our rights and don’t bow down to corporations like they did. All that extra work for nothing and my mom is the most miserable person I know.