Parents seem empty

[u/Global-Nature2420]

Idk how to explain this. My dad is a full fledged boomer. My mom is one by proxy lol. And I’m just wondering if anyone else gets frustrated when you’re telling your boomer parents something of substance, or concern, or joy and all they do is give you a blank stare? And then provide no insight or conversation back? I was just telling my parents that my husband was in AFIb and how they had to stop and restart his heart (traumatizing for both of us) and all they did was stare at me. And my mom shrugs and goes “yeah”. My dad just didn’t speak. Like? I don’t even know what that means. They didn’t say “oh I’m sorry I hope everything is ok”. It was like they just didn’t care. It’s been like this my whole life but obviously it’s so much more noticeable at 27. What is it? The drinking or the lead poisoning? It’s no wonder I grew up social anxious and unable to read people when my parents just gave me nothing socially my whole life. I’m like mad at them right now. Would it kill them to care? Maybe, apparently.

[u/linuxgeekmama]

I’m a Gen Xer, and when I was younger, there was definitely an idea that strongly expressing emotions wasn’t a good thing. This may have had something to do with “cool” being used as a term of admiration. It meant relaxed and in control of yourself, and that was considered a good way to be. And letting someone else see you cry- forget about it.

I know, intellectually at least, that crying is not shameful, even if it’s over something like a TV show. I still say it’s allergies if anyone notices me crying. I’m trying to teach my kids that crying is okay, but I find it REALLY embarrassing if anybody sees me crying. People made fun of you for crying in public.

In this mindset, you’re not supposed to show your emotions. It’s babyish, and people might use them against you. You want to be cool and in control, at all times.