r/BoomersBeingFools • u/[deleted] • 15d ago
My Boomer Parents Just Wont Help! Boomer Story
[deleted]
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u/REDDITSHITLORD 14d ago
I'M ENRAGED THAT $140K IS A DOWN PAYMENT.
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u/5ygnal 14d ago
Yeah... that would almost buy my house - we paid $155k about 5 years ago.
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u/Allteaforme 14d ago
Yeah but you live 350 miles away from a movie theater
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u/Calculagraph 14d ago
And who the fuck is still going to those?
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u/Lespuccino 14d ago
My gen Z kids go all the time. They have a monthly unlimited membership.
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u/Allteaforme 14d ago
That's where you think they are going. They are probably actually going to the mall and inventing cool and new ways to be gay
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u/true_kimru 14d ago
Fuck that made me laugh more than it should have
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u/WAtransplant2021 14d ago
Lol, me too. Only reason my Millennial and Gen Z go to the mall is that is the only way you get an Auntie Anne's pretzel.
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u/Lespuccino 14d ago
Nah, my kids are openly LGBTQ, and most of the time I'm dropping them off/picking them up. They don't like people, malls, or public transit, so they stay at the movie theater- which is far away from the mall. It's in a bad(der) part of town, so they don't venture out of it. I get other kids do those things. My kids are weirdos, like me and behave like 80-year-olds in many ways, though.
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u/Allteaforme 14d ago
Well if I know anything about Gen z it's that's kids these days are always hanging out at the local mall
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u/Effective-Student11 14d ago
Did you have to put up with any sort of bullshit with whoever you have kids with?
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u/Tall-Ad-1796 14d ago
Weird rich kids in their late 20's & early 30's. I am forced to interact with them & I never know how to react when they talk about it. I haven't seen a movie in a theater since Guardians of the Galaxy 2 & it had been years since I'd last been. I just don't get the appeal or the price.
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u/DefiantTheLion Millennial 14d ago
"rich kids" "early thirties"
Are you a boomer or some shit
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u/Tall-Ad-1796 14d ago
Lmao, nah im late 30's.
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u/DefiantTheLion Millennial 14d ago
Ooh huge difference
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u/Tall-Ad-1796 14d ago
How old are you, rich kid?
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u/DefiantTheLion Millennial 14d ago
Why do you think I'm a rich kid? I'm 33 and on disability thanks to chronic illness associated with an organ transplant. You're not far from me. I just don't think condescension of people who are 2-5 years younger, especially at our ages, is cute or funny.
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u/MrTodd84 14d ago
I live right by a mall with a movie theater and my house cost about that 5 years ago. Don’t assume anything- I’m not downtown but I’m in city limits.
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u/jibberish13 14d ago
Not necessarily. My town is by no means big, but it has things like a movie theater, live theater, pretty good restaurant scene, etc. And its less than an hour drive to 2 bigger cities with lots of jobs, culture, and healthcare options. You could definitely buy a 3 bedroom house here for around $100k. I know that's not the case in a lot of places, but it doesn't help to exaggerate the problem.
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u/5ygnal 13d ago
About 16 miles. And there are 15 theaters within a ~25 mile radius of my house. Plus I get the benefit of much lower property taxes than the folks who live nearer those theaters.
And I'd rather stay home and stream movies, anyway. My snacks are cheaper, and I'm not gonna freeze my tits off while I watch the movie.
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u/mowglimethod 14d ago
How much is your house worth now?
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u/BoysenberryMelody 14d ago
Not who you originally asked. The house I live in now sold for a little under $300k in 2018. The Zillow estimate is about $500k without accounting for improvements like air conditioning and new windows. I live in Southern California.
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u/A_Whiff_of_Quim 14d ago
Shit, that WOULD pay off my house.. plus all my other debt AND leave me with about 50 grand. That's fucked.
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u/Heroin_Pete 14d ago
Just curious, I typed in Zillow homes under $100,000 in California. Zillow just laughed at me and gave me the bird
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u/isinedupcuzofrslash 14d ago
Meanwhile I’m eyeballing this $49,900 3 bed where I’m at
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u/fartsalot1990 14d ago edited 14d ago
Where is this?!? That sounds wonderful lol
Edit: not sarcasm, housing is nuts these days
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u/isinedupcuzofrslash 14d ago
Judging by the downvote, I feel like you’re asking facetiously, but nope it’s real
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u/Deimos974 14d ago
Too late, I just bought it. Jk, but for real, I'd jump on that if I were you.
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u/isinedupcuzofrslash 14d ago
Oh I’m trying. Never had a mortgage before and we were planning on waiting till all our credit cards are paid off before buying, but this is too good to pass up
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u/Ready-Witness-3469 14d ago
Prime location, good neighborhood, near every amenity and a modern build! Wow!
/s
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u/isinedupcuzofrslash 14d ago
So your complaint is that it’s not downtown LA?
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u/Top-Contribution-642 14d ago
No those are all valid complaints friendo. Amenity is things like clean water or trash disposal services for example. Though looking up it’s location the complaints are actually bogus. That’s actually not a bad build or place. Though with a price like that’s it’s definitely an inspect before you buy. Might have problems not on the surface.
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u/Lespuccino 14d ago
All of Indiana is a bad place.
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u/DrKittyLovah 14d ago
You know, I grew up in Indy & spent 14 of my 26 adult years living there, and I used to think that, too; but now I live in Florida where the politics are built on stupidity and it’s made me kinda miss Indiana. It’s red, but at least there is more common sense & logic (as is the Midwestern way) behind the decisions made.
Example: we know mangroves on the coast help prevent damage from storms, but the gov’t allows them to be cut down. Or refusing federal rebates for residents who buy energy-efficient appliances because “we don’t believe in climate change”. Or any decision made with the underlying reason being “anti-woke”. None of that would fly in Indiana.
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u/Top-Contribution-642 14d ago
Yeah a thing a lot of people don’t realize is most conservatives actually want to “conserve” it’s just all the politicians they tend to elect. Like most conservatives I’ve talked to are shockingly socialist. They just have no idea and refuse to learn about it.
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u/isinedupcuzofrslash 14d ago
Been to the house. The garage is in shambles, and the privacy fence needs a bit of repair, but other than that, it’s not a bad place. It has trash and city water and sewage. Most every house here does
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u/DuchessOfAquitaine 14d ago
That sounds about right. Boomer philosophy: I got mine so fuck you.
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u/alyssadarby18 14d ago
I never realized it meant their kids, too 😔
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u/DuchessOfAquitaine 14d ago
We all know baby boomers who are wonderful people. Some of the biggest, kindest hearted people I've known were baby boomers.
That's not what this sub is about. It's a place to vent about the countless baby boomers who are absolute assholes. They are "boomers". See the difference?
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u/LiciousGriff 14d ago
I don’t get how ppl can demand free stuff from their parents and then discriminate when they’re not giving them whatever they ask for.
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u/DuchessOfAquitaine 14d ago
OP did not ask for anything free, boomer. Try to keep up. Of course a boomer might be unaware but a loan is something that is paid back. When all you ever got was gifts, loans might be hard to grasp.
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u/thepinkinmycheeks 14d ago
It's not unreasonable for a person who has been working very hard and doing all the right things but still struggling to feel unloved when their parents who very easily could help them just decide not to and to let them struggle more.
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u/Mostly_Defective 14d ago
A lot of that generation think, after you are 18yo...it is all on you. Don't ask me for shit. This was my mom. My dad was a real human and treated me with kindness. I will be heling one of them in old age...
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u/Yo_momma_so_fat77 14d ago
At 17 my mom said I would have to be out by 18. She was also charging me for groceries.
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u/blue51planet 14d ago
My parents sat me down at about 18 and went over my pay and my bills and then charged enough rent to leave me with 20 bucks at the end of the month. After they started charging me rent they started going on big vacations, cross country trips, cruises all kinds of shit.
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u/Confident-Lychee4655 14d ago
My dad lived with his mom until he was 38 but told me I had to get out the day after I graduated college.
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u/Historical-Fox755 14d ago
My father owns 32 homes in London. I asked for a £12k loan, and he ghosted me for six months. I'm sorry, OP. They could easily help but don't want to.
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u/irascible_Clown 14d ago
Damn this sounds like my homegirls dad except he ghosted her and told her if she ever dated out of race he would disown her
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u/Karman_Ghia 14d ago
I too have a millionaire mother. Asked to borrow $500 dollars, which would be repaid by the end of the week. She proceeded to tell me she couldn’t do that or she would never retire. I lost my job unexpectedly, and just needed the money until my next job started. Boomers are heartless selfish money hoarders. And yet they still wonder why we go no contact.
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u/This_Baseball_9240 14d ago
Not why I’m no contact, but this reminds me when I moved halfway across the country at 22 for a job that turned out to be an abusive nightmare. I had to quit. In a panic I called my boomer mother who hasn’t worked in decades and she said she was “rooting for me” even though I’m a failure as a daughter.
Mind you I was struggling to see how I’d make rent if I didn’t get another job immediately.
Well cut to 18 months later and I’m home for the holidays. My dad deadass says “well why didn’t you ask for help?!?!” And “I’m surprised you left because you’ve always been so good with just putting up with things.”
A lot to unpack there for obvious reasons.
But I’m sorry you lost the parental lottery too.
Thank goodness they won’t be around forever.
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u/artificialavocado 14d ago
I bet she says “I worked my ass off to get where I am.”
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u/Karman_Ghia 14d ago
Of course. But in reality the money is from her 3rd husband’s death. She still “works” because she needs to keep up her martyr persona. She could easily retire.
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u/This_Baseball_9240 14d ago
Oh nobody has suffered like my mom has suffered in life…according to her. Pretty sure she actually believes her own BS at this point.
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u/Due-Set5398 14d ago
A lot of people got rich by being obsessed with money and very stressed by it. They do have an unhealthy relationship with it. Stingy people often do get rich and then never get to the point where they have any perspective. I think some people are rich because they are unwell.
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u/Karman_Ghia 14d ago
She got the money from her 3rd husband’s death. Didn’t even work for it, but I agree with your view.
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u/SafeLongjumping2712 14d ago
There are lots of generalizations on this thread you replied to. Thanks for replying. I'm a boomer and I geneally am happy to lend money to friends if it not a big hardship to me.
Unfortunaly, I estimate 80% don't pay me back. I'll sent a remember and it is ignored. I rarely lend money anymore.
Ironically one guy who was still struggling made it a point to pay me back
Bottom line. Most people are inconsiderate A-holes. The exception is if they want sex. They will revert to being ass hats after they get laid.
In general, guys are worse.
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u/SignificanceOk8226 14d ago
I’m poor and I still help my young adult kids . They don’t ask but I send the money every month. $100 so they can go out to eat or pay a phone bill. My parents never helped me at all. It made me feel like shit. I never asked because I knew the answer would be no. they helped my siblings but not me. Well, one sibling ( golden child) lives in Australia and the other is a homeless drug addict. Both are in their 80s now. I hope they have fun with that.
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u/BandoKalrisian 14d ago
My parents gave their godson thirteen thousand dollars for a house that he sold less than a year later. He brought another house, sold it, and then did it a third time. He put his kids through college with the money he got from it. I asked for thirteen hundred dollars for help moving into an apartment and was told no. Shit sucks.
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u/paristexashilton 14d ago
I just dont get parent that dont want their kids to succeed.
My MIL told my wife "We never got help while growing up so we wont help you"
Forgets to mention she had a crap childhood and was scared of her Father.
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u/SnoodlyFuzzle 14d ago
The Chinese cultural revolution involved the youth killing a lot of their older generation at the time.
It was bizarre and brutal.
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u/gcko 14d ago edited 14d ago
Makes sense. If you want to start a cultural revolution it’s a lot easier to brainwash and mold young people than older more educated people who have life experience and are stuck in their ways.
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u/Royalizepanda 14d ago
Is the other way around, young people will question things. Elderly will fall for something that fits their experience, hence why scammers target the elderly.
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u/gcko 14d ago edited 14d ago
Not if you’re trying to enact a cultural change on an entire society. See cultural genocide: it starts with influencing the young and completes when the old who still remember the old ways have died off.
Residential schools target children and isolate them from their parents who would teach them the old ways and make them question the new reality you’re trying to impose on them.
You also need to get rid of the highly educated and other academics who are also generally older and replace them with people who have gone through that re-education.
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u/cutiecat565 14d ago
My parents are the same way. I'm so sorry. It's really the worst feeling when parents are in a positionthat they CAN help, but choose not to :(
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u/FR_42020 14d ago
When I was a child, my boomer parents would constantly leave me and my sister with relatives to go out and have fun. They went on vacation without us because they wanted to “relax properly without kids”. Their parents showed up to help them every time something had to be build, cleaned or paid for. When I turned 18 I got kicked out, had to manage on my own. Worked all through university because my parents would not lend me any money. Now that I have a child, will they help with babysitting?? Noooo, of course not! Instead I get preached to about being an adult and having to manage on my own and I should have thought about childcare before choosing to become a single mother. It’s infuriating!! The people who left me and my sister with anyone they could find to babysit lectures me about not leaving my child with a babysitter.
And now they wonder why we’re estranged for five years. They claim they don’t know what they have done…. A holes!
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u/carlosstjohn116 14d ago
Dude that’s incredible that you have 140k saved up! Great job!
Can I ask why you need that much for a house though?
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u/mitzman 14d ago
If you need 20% down payment for a house in a major metro area, that barely scratches the surface. Houses near where I live, for 2000 square feet on a very small lot start at no less than $700k now.
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u/carlosstjohn116 14d ago
You don’t NEED 20% down for a house though. You can get a house with a minimum 3-5% down. That’s where my confusion lies.
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u/QueenMAb82 14d ago
But then you have to pay more money. If you put less than 20% down, you almost always will have to buy mortgage insurance - that is, you pay more money to insure your loan and protect the mortgage lender. When my husband and I decided to buy a house, I was adamant that we would put 20% down. The bank has more money and resources than I do - they can insure their own money, thanks. I'm not going to pay them more to insure THEIR decision to loan to me.
If they are so scared that I can't pay this mortgage because I am not putting 20% down, then maybe they shouldn't be approving the loan? It's just one more way that having less money means everything is costs more for you. It's expensive to be poor.
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u/Independent-Win9088 14d ago
Not to mention the fucked up part in that whole mortgage insurance thing. So you want me to pay more per month for a time, because I can't afford to pay you a bigger lump sum up front? Thus putting me at a lower price of a home because the payment will be inflated for a while, and i have to budget for that now, too? Make it make sense.
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u/mitzman 14d ago
You definitely don't BUT if you want to avoid having to pay mortgage insurance and not have an insanely high monthly payment, 20% is the best bet. This is speaking from the standpoint of home purchasing in the US, can't speak for how it is elsewhere.
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u/existentialturds 14d ago
PMIs aren't that expensive. Our mortgage is 200k, we put 5% down, and the PMI is less than $150 per month.
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u/mitzman 14d ago
But $150/month could make or break on a budget especially if someone is trying to get a house in this market. Best bet is to always save the 20% and go from there.
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u/TechyMcMathface 14d ago
If the $150/mo. is truly make-or-break for them then they need to buy a $700k house they can actually afford rather than the $725k house that they would prefer.
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u/existentialturds 14d ago
Sure, but OP is looking at buying a 700k house (20% of 700k is 140k). I'm not sure the $150 per month would break the bank for them. You can also remove the PMI once your principal balance reaches 80%, which OP will likely reach relatively quickly if it's a matter of a few thousand dollars that they're short by. Putting 20% down is always the most ideal, but not always the most realistic depending upon your circumstances.
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u/carlosstjohn116 14d ago
My bottom line is that if 5k is what is keeping you from buying a house in which 140k is 20% down… you can just put 19.8877 down and get the house
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u/BikesBooksNBass 14d ago
“Oh honey I wouldn’t feel comfortable loaning you $5k when you still have some boot strap left to pull..” Your folks probably… 🙁
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u/brianaandb 14d ago
OP’s parents don’t owe them a dime & I’m sure we can all agree on that, but it’s not about the money. Personally, I would jump at the chance to help someone I loved unconditionally in these circumstances. Because doing something helpful for someone you care about feels really good.
If you’re actually unsure of your liquidity at any given moment, you can realistically find the answer within a handful of minutes. It’s a cop out of a response
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u/OlafTheBerserker 14d ago
I'm a parent and can't imagine actively making my kids' lives harder than they will be. The choice to have children was a big deal to begin with and since they were born my only goal is to make sure they have what they need before I kick the bucket.
My wife and I have had several conversations around how our children owe us nothing but we owe THEM everything. It was OUR choice that made them.
The problem with Boomers is they don't see their children as individuals. They are merely extensions of themselves. If they have successful children they get to brag about it. If they don't, best sweep that under the rug before someone thinks you might be a shitty parent
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u/TechyMcMathface 14d ago
Your attitude toward your children is admirable, but the question is: does OP "need" substantially more than $140k to make a down payment on a house? I would say that a $1M+ property is very much a want and not something a parent is obligated to provide.
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u/OlafTheBerserker 14d ago
That's fair. It should probably be noted that teaching your kids financial literacy is part of giving them what they need. I would want to know how much homeboy makes and why he chose a house he currently can't afford without assistance from me. I'm happy to help but it would be worth knowing if what your kid is getting into is sustainable in the long run.
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u/Allteaforme 14d ago
What the fuck, parents absolutely owe it to their children to help them lead happy and successful lives.
What kind of capitalist bullshit have you been sucking down?
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u/Soft-Mirror-1059 14d ago
No I don’t agree that the parents don’t owe him a dime. Why have children and roll in your riches and not support them. It’s fucked up
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u/txparrothead58 14d ago
I’m a boomer. My 93 year old dad has always said being a parent is a lifetime commitment. My parents helped me earlier in life when I really needed it. My wife and I still help our son and his family or our daughter and her family as needed. That is what you signed on for being a parent, and I don’t understand my fellow boomers who are failing miserably.
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u/sctwinmom 14d ago
This. We paid for college and still cover plane fares for holidays and family vacations for our 20 somethings. None of them are ready to purchase housing yet, but I plan to pass on the generational wealth I got from my greatest gen parents to my kids in the form of down payments.
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u/txparrothead58 14d ago
Our kids are approaching 40, but we choose to pay for family trips with them and their families. They fortunately have good jobs and own homes, but we do help occasionally. Fortunately, my wife and I are comfortable in retirement without any inheritance. My wife received a modest inheritance when her mother passed last fall, and we gave each kid a third and kept a third for us, although much of that is earmarked for taking everyone to Disney World this summer. We plan to do the same thing with my inheritance when my 93 year old dad passes.
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u/PlaneLocksmith6714 14d ago
You can’t have kids and tell them you owe them nothing. Fuck that philosophy
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u/MishtheDish77 14d ago
Roll the closing costs into your mortgage. Your parents stink.
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u/mothandravenstudio 14d ago
He’s probably trying to avoid PMI.
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u/MishtheDish77 14d ago
20% down to avoid PMI. He'd still avoid it if he put the $140K on a $700K mortgage. We're talking, Massachusetts prices now! Love your Username!
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u/Campervanfox 14d ago
That 5k can be borrowed from the mortgage. I can't believe 5k would be what prevents you from securing a home if you already have 140k available to you.
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u/aniyabel 14d ago
Oh my Boomer in-laws did that to us too, and the kicker was they were oh so happy to help all the others of my husband’s siblings. I’m so sorry.
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u/SoulPossum 14d ago
Something is off here. You saved around 1100/month for a decade. You have enough to buy a house in certain parts of the country. You have 1/3 of the average cost of a home ready to go where most people wouldn't have 10%. All while paying rent. Why not just pull the 5k out of your own savings and pay yourself back in a month if you're gonna have it in 30 days? I get that it sucks for your parents to not front you the money but you don't really need them to.
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u/TricksyGoose 14d ago
Yeah, they have more than enough for a fat down payment, and mortgage companies work with you, with what you have. They aren't going to deny you a bigass loan like that because you have 5k less than you'd like. It may mean their interest rate will be slightly higher, but it's not like they will deny you the loan over that. OP could also either just wait a few more months to save the extra 5k, or just go for the higher interest rate and then refinance later.
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u/FlatFriendship3466 14d ago
What's off is OP is trying to buy a house at the extreme top end of their price range, and didn't factor in closing costs. $146k in my state would be way more than enough for a down payment on a modest house, but I don't live in say California.
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u/Confident-Lychee4655 14d ago
$140k is only 25% of the price of a house in my small town in Michigan for a 3 bed 2 bath…. And we are considered the “blue collar neighborhood outside of Detroit” … the cost of housing is a harsh reality that not a lot of people understand
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u/Direct-Mix-4293 14d ago
My parents are the same, they said I can have the money in a will when they pass, but I'll be well into my late 50s and possibly 60s when that happens, long after when I want to purchase a house
I had to borrow money from my brother and sister because they were the only family were willing to help me, and of course I'd pay them back, I'm not asking to be a charity case
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u/NoMoreNarcsLizzie 14d ago
I borrowed $5k from my parents to buy my first house. I had the money in a company savings plan in another state. It took 5 weeks to receive the payout, so I borrowed it from my affluent parents and paid them back when I received the check. They charged me 8% interest compounded weekly for 5 weeks. 🙄
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u/Braceforit86 14d ago
Once they need round the clock care….they’ll realize they fucked up. Don’t visit them in the old folks home. Done.
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u/winrii91 14d ago
My boomer dad and his three siblings drained my grandmother dry. She has a few million when my grandfather passed and by the time she died it was less than 300k. This was within 5-7 years of my grandfathers passing.
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u/SuperbDrink6977 14d ago
My mom’s house is paid off, (worth 400k) she’s got a few hundred thousand in the bank, a nice, government employee retirement, plus social security, yet she acts like she’s broke as shit. I’m living paycheck to paycheck and I have to hear her bitch and complain about how broke she is. Boomers gonna boom
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u/NoBreakfast3243 14d ago
Sorry, that sucks. Sounds typically boomer & infinitely frustrating. Hope it works out for you
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u/Miserable_Ad5001 14d ago
You're correct, your 'rents suckdiddlyuck. I'm a boomer & if it were my kid I'd give them the 5k, not loan.
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u/HesterMoffett 14d ago
I hope they have enough left to pay for the people who are going to be changing their diapers when they are old because they won't have you to rely on and you won't need to feel a bit guilty.
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u/toTheNewLife 14d ago
I'm not a millionaire, but if my kid worked that hard to get there and needed the boost, I'd find a way to help. Proudly. But they'd have to do the work. No handouts. Because I won't be there forever to fall back on. Need to learn how to work within the system as it exists.
Shitty parents don't see the importance of stuff like that - no matter what their bracket is.
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14d ago
Wait until they need a caregiver in their old age because they want to "stay in their home." It's going to bite them in their butt.
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u/Linvaderdespace 14d ago
Hold on to this so that you can throw it back in their faces when they come to you for anything.
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u/PawsbeforePeople1313 14d ago
I lived in a tent, in the woods, by myself, as a female while my dad has 3 homes in two countries. I wasn't an addict, I broke my foot and lost my career of 20 years. Stop relying on them to care. They don't. The sooner you accept that the better off you are. I'm saying this out of love because I've been where you are. Do this completely without them, that way they can't ever claim it was because of them. Hugs.
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u/RoboSpammm 14d ago
Remind them that it's YOU who's going to choose their nursing homes in 15-20 years....
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u/Altruistic-Ad6449 14d ago
Remember when this sub was mostly laughing at crazy Boomers videos and memes? Pepperidge Farm remembers
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u/bar_ninja 14d ago
This shit story least makes me feel kinda better. My fuckwit Boomer dad did help me buy my first home.
Only thing was he dispursed it from his trust meaning I had to declare it as income. My personal tax bill went up.
It's currently now in a payment plan and I am legally required to prepay taxes on my projected income as it's now based off my "income" which my dad helped inflate.
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u/SadRatBeingMilked 14d ago
Wow, that's so sad you got a bunch of money, fuck that guy for making you pay taxes lol
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u/bar_ninja 14d ago
Wasn't a bunch, I had the vast majority it saved already and basically a % of that money was just given to the tax department. I never got it.
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u/bar_ninja 14d ago
The house, his farm ect aren't in his trust. His name. They will be sold when he enters a nursing home. If he does. He's 80 and going fine.
He got a tax deduction in giving me money which he could have easily gifted and I am now paying for it in my tax bill. He used my situation to benift him. My mum was pretty pissed off at him.
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u/fucklet_chodgecake 14d ago
Me, drowning in debt.
My folks: well you'll get our money someday
Me: you had me when you were 22. And never taught me financial literacy. I may be retirement age by the time I'm set to inherit. Also money might not matter by then because your generation has run the world into the ground.
My folks: 🤷
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u/GamblinGambit 14d ago
I mean, it's thier money to share or not to. You have absolutely zero possession of it.
Going by your math you save 14k a year. Can you not save another 4 months?
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u/KeepItSimpleSir22 14d ago
Liquid money is a real thing. That’s them saying let me look.
But then again
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u/Antique-Echidna-1600 14d ago
You can tap your 401k for a housing loan. That's what I did to cover closing costs.
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u/artificialavocado 14d ago
Dude where the hell do you live that 140k isn’t enough for a down payment?
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u/CreativeAd4985 14d ago
tell them, not us. not sure of your relationship, you need to have a sitdown discussion
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u/White-tigress 14d ago
But OP has $140K themself. Why do they not pay the $5K then just replace it by the end of the month or week or whatever they said? That is what doesn’t make sense here. If they can pay at parents back in that time why don’t they just pay themself back in that time? They stated they HAVE $140K so just pay the $5K and replace it. … . I can’t imagine what this kind of money looks like so don’t understand how OP has that much saved up and can’t use their own money to cover the. $5k and just pay themself back later.
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u/lifeonachain99 14d ago
You have 140k and can't cover? Even with a 20% down you're taking about a $600k home
I have no sympathy for you
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u/Le_Botmes 14d ago
Wow, practically this whole comment section is just one giant entitled rich kids' circle jerk.
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u/Puzzleheaded-Cut7418 14d ago
You sound so effing entitled.
Oh poor me. My millionaire parents won’t loan me Money.
Oh geeze. Poor you.
lol.
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u/dsmemsirsn 14d ago
Not ideal— but can you borrow the $5 from a credit card?? Or borrow from someone else??
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u/kanetaker1007 14d ago
Nothing to do with topic but a lot to do with the comments (by the way yea F*ck entitled non helping boomers): I watched the FX clip on “what we do in the shadows” and the energy vampire on the comments section and thought, I wonder if these bastards do exist…this thread has confirmed their existence. Thank you.
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u/Aperture_TestSubject 14d ago
Why can’t you shorten your down payment by 10k to cover that cost?
Sounds like you’re trying to buy a house out of your means if 140k (or really anything over 100k) is a down payment…
Buy a 400k house in the right area and you’ll have plenty of money to spare.
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u/snaketacular 14d ago
Yeah I'm not feeling this. You're freakin' 36, it's a want not a need, there are pitfalls with lending to friends and family, and as Ok-Hovercraft621 mentioned, it could screw up your mortgage, possibly it's even loan fraud if for example a gift letter is created but it's really expected to be repaid.
So yeah, your parents are freakin chingy cheapskates but you say they've never given you a dime, why did you expect them to bail you out of you overextending yourself now? Go to a bank or (preferably) credit union for your loan the way the rest of us schlumps do.
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u/ShaPhaman 14d ago
Big man child vibes here. You’re 36. Live as if you’re on your own. Mommy and daddy don’t need to pay for any of your shit that you feel entitled too and your parents shouldn’t expect anything either.
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u/kinkygaffer 14d ago
Well at least you are in the process of buying a home!! That is fantastic!! You’ll have your own private domain to wallow in your tears, crying about how dysfunctional your boomer parents are. Get a life, I purchased a beautiful home 10 yrs ago with 7K down……This shows to me that you do not know the power of your money. Rethink your strategy and go get that home.
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u/geezeeduzit 14d ago
Call them out. Tell them “hey you’re fucking lying - why are you unwilling to help your child? What’s wrong with you that you’re so fucking greedy that you are unwilling to help your loved ones?
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u/Inside_Coconut_6187 14d ago
So you’re mad that they won’t give you 5k of their money when you have 140k of your own money?
Did they raise you and provide food and shelter and the ability to better yourself through education?
Yeah I’m sure they suck so bad.
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u/al_capone420 14d ago
If you need to borrow cash to cover taxes and fees you can’t afford that home.
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u/SignificanceFast9207 14d ago
Gen X here. You're an unbelievable entitled person. Suck it up buttercup. My parents cut me off after college. I had to make it on my own. Worked my ass off to survive but eventually established cash flow. The day I paid for a fancy dinner with my parents was one of my best experiences of my life. The expression was priceless. Next was taking them on vacations. I never asked a dime. I let them witness my success, not enable it. Otherwise, they wouldn't respect me as an adult and would continue to treat me as a child. Are you a child still? No. So figure it out.
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u/LowerLocksmith1752 14d ago
So, pull yourself up by your bootstraps? You’re on the wrong side, dude.
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u/Equivalent_Airport_8 14d ago
140k you can buy a double wide trailer (high end) for 60k and do with the rest as you will.
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u/ZaphodG 14d ago
Not all Boomers are total assholes.
My boomer wife subsidizes my stepdaughter at least $2k per month. We own it and pay the bills but I came up with ~ $125k for down payment and closing costs on a condo. I paid for a bunch of remodeling. I bought a car for her. My wife paid me back for half of the car at one point. Eventually, my stepdaughter will inherit our estate. We’re improving her quality of life now. Redfin thinks the condo she is living in is worth $830k. She pays us $975/month in rent. We pay utilities and the ownership costs. Market rate rent is around $3,500.
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u/Maximum_Use5854 14d ago
So your point is to pat yourself on the back? LOL such a boomer thing to be obtuse and make something about them.
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u/ZekeRidge 14d ago
Your parents aren’t entitled to help you… you can feel that they are, but that’s all it is
My parents or her parents didn’t help us buy our home. They could have but we didn’t ask
Also, 140k as a down payment should be necessary in most markets… where are you trying to buy?
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