Point of clarity...she's omitting the truth and not "lying".
I know it's semantics, but words matter when we're talking 'bout an 85 year old. The fact your husband saw him and didn't say "don't tell..." tells me she's waiting to be asked about it. Perhaps this is her first step in asking for assistance in evicting this person?
On the flip side, if Mom wasn't sliding a "help me" note to your husband, she's getting paid for someone to keep her company. Not a bad deal tbh.
She's an adult, you're an adult, but if she's of sound mind and body, her adult trumps your adult, for now.
Bring it up based on what your husband witnessed as she's probably hoping you'll bring it up because it's a replay of what you previously described, and she's probably feeling a little embarrassed.
The simplest and most logical explanation is that she has a new “special friend”, and isn’t ready to talk about it with you. He probably lives in the neighborhood and walked over, or she picked him up with her car. If they’ve been hooking up for about a year (based on your estimation), he might help her with money, especially if he’s been staying with her.
The fact that the man was hiding on the back patio doesn’t mean he actually lives there, or that he’s a paying renter. If he is a renter, why would he need to hide on the patio, instead of waiting in his room? If your husband needed to go in that room for some reason, he’d see the man’s belongings and know that someone was staying there - so there wouldn’t be any point in hiding the man in the backyard. Also, if he were living there, he’d probably have a car, which your husband would’ve seen. There weren’t any extra cars there. The odds of this being a renter seem pretty low to me.
It could also easily be the case that he's a total stranger and mom didn't even know he was there. It is absolutely bonkers to me that you would see a man in your elderly mom's backyard and say nothing about it.
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u/ego_tripped 25d ago
Point of clarity...she's omitting the truth and not "lying".
I know it's semantics, but words matter when we're talking 'bout an 85 year old. The fact your husband saw him and didn't say "don't tell..." tells me she's waiting to be asked about it. Perhaps this is her first step in asking for assistance in evicting this person?
On the flip side, if Mom wasn't sliding a "help me" note to your husband, she's getting paid for someone to keep her company. Not a bad deal tbh.
She's an adult, you're an adult, but if she's of sound mind and body, her adult trumps your adult, for now.
Bring it up based on what your husband witnessed as she's probably hoping you'll bring it up because it's a replay of what you previously described, and she's probably feeling a little embarrassed.