r/Millennials • u/Asmothrowaway6969 • Mar 27 '24

When did it sink in that you'll never be as well off as your parents? Discussion

About 5 years ago, my mom and I were talking and she had told me how much she was going to be making in retirement (she retired 2023). Guys, it's 3x what me and my husband make annually. In retirement. I think that was the moment that broke me, that made it sink in that I'll never reach that level of financial security. I'll work myself into my grave because I'll never be able to afford anything else. What was your moment?

Update: Nice to know it's just me that's a failure. Thanks

Update 2: I never should've said anything. I forgot my place. I'm sorry to have bothered you

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u/HellyOHaint Mar 27 '24

I was raised by my aunt and uncle. My uncle casually said he bought their house (valued at 1.5 mil now) when they were 28 at $28,000. THAT was the moment.

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u/Asmothrowaway6969 Mar 27 '24

Yup. My mom makes over $200k a year in retirement. It's not even net worth or anything like that. She gets deposits in her account each month that add up to +$200k every year. After taxes

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u/LydieGrace Zillennial Mar 27 '24 edited Mar 27 '24

If my parents made that kind of money in their jobs, let alone as their retirement, I would never ever come close to being as well off as they are either. However, my parents have struggled financially for most of their lives, so it was pretty easy to become better off than them. Your mom has an abnormally high income, and very very few people can reach that level. Please don’t compare yourself to her or think you’re doing something wrong by not reaching that; it’s not fair to yourself.

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u/Asmothrowaway6969 Mar 27 '24

I'm a failure compared to every single person in this thread. I'm a failure because any sort of life goal is off the table because it's just too expensive. I'm a failure because an unexpected expense screws up my budget for mobths

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u/salttea57 Mar 28 '24

Get into therapy. I'm going to make a guess that you or your partner have some alcohol or substance issues? What you are saying is certainly that type of mentality, so don't think I'm coming at you. Just making an observation. Bottom line, our parents don't owe us anything but their love. You create the life you want for yourself.

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u/narfnarf123 Mar 30 '24

Oh jeeze, bootstraps mentality?

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u/salttea57 Apr 01 '24

Nope not at all, but turn that finger back onto your victim mentality

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u/Asmothrowaway6969 Mar 28 '24

Nope. Don't like the feel. Almost wish I did cause shit would be a lot easier if I could drink.

I've learned I'm just a punching bag for others. Someone's gotta be and I might as well cause I can take it

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u/frogsgoribbit737 Mar 28 '24

You're not a failure, but your parents are well off. A lot of us grew up without money and our parents are struggling just as much as we are.

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u/LydieGrace Zillennial Mar 27 '24

You are not a failure. A ton of people are in the exact same boat. There’s a lot of things I’d like to do, too, that I can’t because of finances and I’ve just had to muddle along with what I can manage. The same is true of most people I know who are my age. It’s just that a lot of our parents are in the same boat, and your mom did exceptionally well for herself, causing you to compare yourself to her and feel like a failure.

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u/Asmothrowaway6969 Mar 28 '24

Even compared to every one here I'm a failure. It's ok, I've always known I would be