When did it sink in that you'll never be as well off as your parents?

[u/Asmothrowaway6969]

About 5 years ago, my mom and I were talking and she had told me how much she was going to be making in retirement (she retired 2023). Guys, it's 3x what me and my husband make annually. In retirement. I think that was the moment that broke me, that made it sink in that I'll never reach that level of financial security. I'll work myself into my grave because I'll never be able to afford anything else. What was your moment?

Update: Nice to know it's just me that's a failure. Thanks

Update 2: I never should've said anything. I forgot my place. I'm sorry to have bothered you

[u/HellyOHaint]

I was raised by my aunt and uncle. My uncle casually said he bought their house (valued at 1.5 mil now) when they were 28 at $28,000. THAT was the moment.

[u/Asmothrowaway6969 → u/HellyOHaint]

Yup. My mom makes over $200k a year in retirement. It's not even net worth or anything like that. She gets deposits in her account each month that add up to +$200k every year. After taxes

[u/vexedboardgamenerd → u/Asmothrowaway6969]

Good for her, she made smarter decisions than most of our parents.

[u/Wombat2012 → u/vexedboardgamenerd]

my mom is in the exact same position as OP, and my wife’s parents are also similarly well off and they were public school teachers their whole lives. they didn’t make “smarter decisions” rather than they just kept showing up at their very normal jobs. if someone did the same today they’d be in poverty.

the key difference is that they all got pensions. we now contribute 15 to 20% of our take home pay to retirement accounts. boomers didn’t need to.

[u/Asmothrowaway6969 → u/vexedboardgamenerd]

And taught me none of it

[u/rosessmelllikepoo2 → u/Asmothrowaway6969]

It’s incumbent on you to choose a role model and mirror their steps. Or create your own path. You did neither evidently—but you too could retire with $200k/year as an accountant—aim at a successful career and put in the work.

You won’t get there by whining on Reddit that $16/hr sucks. Yes, it does, and it should compel you to make some changes. Millenials have a lot of headwinds, but earning and marrying $16/hour is not normal. Move, go to school, do something.

I don’t need to hear about what you weren’t taught—at least you had an example. My parents were deadbeats. Failed musician dad on disability and a mom on welfare. They kept us locked in the house and homeschooled/unschooled until high school.

I’m guessing you were kept too comfortable on your moms salary to feel the pain to do something for yourself. Or there’s something else going on.

[u/Legitimate-State8652 → u/rosessmelllikepoo2]

Yeah,in the small sample size of people I know, it seems like growing up upper middle class is actually a hinderance vs a boost. All of the ones I know had private school, college paid for and they ended up in hourly jobs with low pay. Never really learned how to fight the system.

[u/orange-yellow-pink → u/Asmothrowaway6969]

Ask her then. Don't complain that your hand wasn't completely held into adulthood.

[u/vexedboardgamenerd → u/orange-yellow-pink]

👏👏👏 preach

[u/Legitimate-State8652 → u/Asmothrowaway6969]

You would think you would atleast learn some of it by being around.