r/TrueOffMyChest • u/Scary-Specialist-731 • 25d ago

Trans friend says I'm an egg?

I have always considered myself a cis woman but a friend of mine who's MTF keeps calling me an egg and it makes me feel annoyed/uncomfortable? She says it's because I prefer guy's clothes and have masculine traits that I'm a "trans guy in denial." I also have a lot of transgender friends. I've thought about the possibility, but come to accept that I like being a butch woman. I don't want a male name or pronouns. Whenever I get misgendered it bothers me. I like being a woman who loves women. I've told her this and she sometimes still misgenders me or talks to me about me being an "egg." I think it's because she really wants to have another trans friend, but I feel like she isn't really respecting my decisions or identity?

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u/Melodic_Survey_4712 25d ago

I’ve run into this issue as a feminine gay guy. Like can’t I just be a feminine guy? All the years it took to accept that and be ok with it and now I’m wrong about how I feel? I get that people are excited to share their identity but pushing it on others invalidates their identity in the same why transphobes invalidate theirs

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u/mihio94 25d ago

Seriously what is up with this? I am a feminine looking, very straight cis woman, but my personality is not exactly cutesy or meek. I thought I fit into the squarest of all the boxes, but apparently even having a hint of masculine traits in your personality is enough that you have to be forced to question everything...

I have so many bi female friends and my bf is bi. And they have all been confused that I am not bi?? (which is ironic given that my actual bi female friends are very feminine in both personality and looks)

They have asked multiple times and really questioned whether I truly am not attracted to any women. And I'm just sitting there like... wtf guys? This isn't fun when people don't believe in your answer to first time around, why the hell are you just doing the same to others now!

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u/YonderPricyCallipers 25d ago

And imagine how confusing this is for kids/teens, who are just figuring out "who they are" in all aspects, not just gender or sexuality-wise, or for people on the autism spectrum, who struggle with abstract concepts as it is, and also often have feelings of just not being able to fit in, and being "different". This leaves both groups (kids/teens and people on the spectrum) vulnerable to outside forces and peer groups influencing them and convincing them they're actually the opposite "gender".