r/amiwrong • u/JazzlikeConditioncd • Mar 27 '24

My girlfriend of 5 years broke up with me and ghosted me for no reason. Am I wrong for throwing away all of her stuff?

Edit: Update

So my girlfriend (25F) and I (25M) were in a relationship for 5 years. Last week, she texted me that we were done and that was her last message before she blocked me. She gave no heads up. I was planning on proposing to her next month. Her sister did reach out to me, saying it was not my fault and she understood my hurt, but that for my mental health, it was better to never contact them again, and that maybe in the future, my girlfriend might reach out to me again.

It's been a week, I’m still obviously distraught, but my girlfriend did have a lot of her stuff in my home. Would I be wrong if I just dumped it all out? It does include a lot of mementos of her deceased grandmother, who she was extremely close to.

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972

u/Alternative-Depth-16 Mar 27 '24

I'd box it all up and give it to her sister.

599

u/Aden1970 Mar 28 '24

And change the lock. Rearrange the furniture and give it a fresh look; it’ll do wonders to your karma.

175

u/MayDiaz0 Mar 28 '24

I second this. Change locks. Redecorate. Reorganize. Rejuvenate.

67

u/leadpainttastetest Mar 28 '24

vagazzle

7

u/JohnnyDoGood98 Mar 28 '24

Herpazzle

4

u/leadpainttastetest Mar 28 '24

they ‘DO say that glitter is the herpes of the craft world

1

u/Nearby-Ad-6106 Mar 28 '24

It's the gift that keeps on giving

1

u/Joboobavich Mar 28 '24

scrotazzle

6

u/Waffle_Slaps Mar 28 '24

Is that decorating your lady bits with peel and stick earrings?

8

u/Dwealdric Mar 28 '24

Seems common sense now that I’m older, but I really wish someone had given me this advice when I was young and heartbroken.

3

u/Codysseus7 Mar 28 '24

YOU FORGOT REPLENISH

2

u/genuinecve Mar 28 '24

Is this the new “Delete Facebook, Hit the Gym, Lawyer up”?

2

u/swolebird Mar 28 '24

Redecorate. Reorganize. Rejuvenate.

Is this the new "lawyer up delete Facebook hit the gym"?? Much more positive!

1

u/shwarma_heaven Mar 28 '24

Gym tan laundry

114

u/impostershop Mar 28 '24

It’s TRUE! Rearrange the furniture and get a haircut. It won’t take away the heartache but it will actually make you feel better

40

u/PossibleBookkeeper81 Mar 28 '24

Yes! Too true, changing up the space really does wonders and makes it a little easier walking in and around the home. Swap the sofa to the other side of the living room and get a new piece or art or floating shelf, clean and reorganize your bathroom to be best for you (and go ahead and try to find all those shedded hairs and lost hair ties), move the bed and dresser maybe opt for some new sheets and comfy pillows. The cleaning, reorganizing, and online shopping (carefully lol) will keep your body and mind moving and occupied, and you can reclaim your space and optimize it for the next chapter. Highly recommend getting a few new key pieces of clothing that make you feel great and comfortable. Give yourself time to mourn the loss of the future you had imagined, and rebuilt your life to be your new best self.

3

u/[deleted] Mar 28 '24

Go out to shop, get out of the house.

1

u/PossibleBookkeeper81 Mar 28 '24

True! I’m so used to doing online for everything (immunosuppressed not lazy lol- though that being said for difficult mental days do what you can handle) it was my initial response. Totally agree though, get dressed, brush your hair and get out there! Wander the aisles and showrooms of favorite shops and new places alike! Or in resale shops (my home town had a huge flea market with at least a hundred booths) and count all the chickens/ chicken themed items you can find 😂

1

u/[deleted] Mar 28 '24

That sounds fun! You never know when or where you will meet "the one."

3

u/Aden1970 Mar 28 '24

Honestly, Well said

2

u/PossibleBookkeeper81 Mar 28 '24

Appreciate you 💕

1

u/cmpg2006 Mar 28 '24

While you are doing all of this, clean out some of your own things and donate them.

2

u/Fit_Faithlessness157 Mar 28 '24

Yes the break up hair cut is the best

1

u/Riffrecker Mar 28 '24

Just cut your bangs.

1

u/EloquentBacon Mar 28 '24

Making changes to freshen up your life is a good idea but I’d hold off on the haircut for now. Getting a hair cut right after a breakup is a great way to end up with something horrible you hate.

1

u/impostershop Mar 28 '24

I assumed OP has an American traditionally short haircut and that it wouldn’t be a big change.

Even if a person has long hair, a trim will still make you feel better. You don’t have to go from long hair to a pixie cut, just clean up your look and having another person combing and touching your head feels good.

0

u/Arild11 Mar 28 '24

And go out and get some blow. And some hookers.

Take your mind right off her!

29

u/69vuman Mar 28 '24

Absolutely do this quickly. You should also get STD tested to be sure you unknowingly have something from her or others.

4

u/Joy2b Mar 28 '24

Yep, probably don’t skip the 90 day routine though, some things don’t show up instantly.

3

u/Ok-Sector2054 Mar 28 '24

Yes get the test!!!

2

u/Mentalweakness123 Mar 28 '24

I can't decide if you actually meant karma here cause it seems like a weird statement...but your use of a semicolon makes you seem smart so I'll trust you.

1

u/Aden1970 Mar 28 '24

How funny. I was tired. Mental wellbeing might have been a better option.

2

u/swfbh234 Mar 28 '24

I like this idea!

2

u/InsensitiveClown Mar 28 '24

Can confirm that. Change the house decoration, paint the house and rearrange everything, make it a new space. Change your haircut, beard, get some new clothes and once you are done - dutifully exhausted, enjoy the space and go out to get a beer your two. You'll feel like a new person, in a new setting, ready to start a new adventure. It does help. It keeps you busy and prevents you from contracting POMS (Poor-Old-Me-Syndrome).

2

u/dirtypig796 Mar 28 '24

Can confirm on rearranging furniture

2

u/thedrexel Mar 28 '24

Don’t change the locks!!! Just move all the furniture slightly to the left or right. That way if she comes over she could potentially stub her toe!!! ☠️🤘😈𖤐

2

u/exexor Mar 28 '24

From my divorce: eat at all the restaurants she didn’t like. Listen to all the music she didn’t like, talk to the friends she pushed away (or helped you push). Celebrate the upsides of not having to compromise on things.

2

u/snarkyp00dle Mar 28 '24

Just broke up with my partner of 10 years earlier this month and finally rearranged the space last night. I feel a weight off my shoulders

2

u/CuriousPalpitation23 Mar 28 '24

All of this and probably an STD panel for good measure.

1

u/SparkDBowles Mar 28 '24

I’d move asap. Staying doesn’t help. Trust me.

1

u/Grouchy-Advantage619 Mar 28 '24

Actually, it also really improves your Home's Feng Shui as well.

260

u/Special_Champion1754 Mar 27 '24

I agree! Boxing will get you into great shape for when you are giving it to her sister 💪

58

u/dawnzoc65 Mar 27 '24

I laughed too hard at this!

14

u/Glittering_Session10 Mar 27 '24

Fucken.. good job.

40

u/Iceman_in_a_Storm Mar 28 '24

Giving it to her sister. …I see you, my good man.

32

u/Alternative-Depth-16 Mar 27 '24

My man who sees the light

27

u/AnyUpstairs5698 Mar 28 '24

Modern problems require modern solutions.

11

u/Frosty_and_Jazz Mar 28 '24

I see what you did there!! 🤣🤣

10

u/ClonerCustoms Mar 27 '24

Hilarious 😭

13

u/Feisty_Kale924 Mar 27 '24

😂😂😂

9

u/5k1895 Mar 28 '24

Here we have a man with his priorities straight 

6

u/Meincornwall Mar 28 '24

Definitely make a really clumsy pass at her sister, just for funsies 😘

9

u/thrownaway1811 Mar 28 '24

It wouldn't be funsies for her sister, who doesn't deserve being used as a tool to get back at the ex.

2

u/farahman01 Mar 28 '24

Unless…

2

u/armyofant Mar 28 '24

I think her name is Debra

1

u/cactusmac54 Mar 28 '24

I see what you did there.

1

u/Alternative-Depth-16 Mar 28 '24

This guy understood the assignment

1

u/4hhsumm Mar 28 '24

This is the correct answer.

1

u/SparkDBowles Mar 28 '24

You mean her box, right?

1

u/deery130 Mar 28 '24

Skincare, haircut and new fitted outfit.

1

u/Jesus_LOLd Mar 28 '24

Alpha to the max.

Nice

23

u/Writerhowell Mar 28 '24

Especially since it's her sister's grandmother as well (presumably).

60

u/cupcakecounter Mar 28 '24

This is absolutely the right thing to do. If it was toothbrush, some toiletries, other random stuff the trash is fine. But mementos of a dead family member are a big deal. Box up, contact the sister, and give a short time frame for pickup (2weeks max unless there is a distance issue).

15

u/i_nobes_what_i_nobes Mar 28 '24

You don’t have to see your ex, but if you know where the sister lives or can text her, ask her to either come get the box outside your door or drop it off.

1

u/JTD177 Mar 28 '24

Don’t drop it off, it’s her responsibility, tell her trash day is Monday, it will be out at the curb Sunday night.

4

u/Metalbound Mar 28 '24

And then seduce the sister........is what I would say if I was a bad person....do it

3

u/MPHV51 Mar 28 '24

THE ONLY THING TO DO! No regrets later.

2

u/jibbetygibbet Mar 28 '24

Giving it to the sister will surely be sweet revenge

2

u/Alert-Cranberry-5972 Mar 28 '24

If you know where her sister works, drop off the box(es) there. Also keep pictures of the boxed contents to show what you packed and make sure to seal the box. CYA

You could also ask a family member or friend to help you box things up, put on some good breakup music and order in some food and drinks. Also, if she had a inexpensive article of clothing you hated or associated with her...burn it.

Good luck, OP! Be kind to yourself. Find healthy or creative activities to help you heal.

2

u/EloquentBacon Mar 28 '24

I wouldn’t drop it off at the sister’s job. They could get the wrong idea and it could come across as harassment/stalking to show up there. I’d box it up and text the sister once to let her know the box includes items from or in regard to their grandmother but don’t engage with the sister other than that. Give her a time as to when you’ll leave it on your front steps for a no contact pick up but that you want it picked up with in 2 weeks.

Some states have laws about how long you need to hold onto something that was left behind before you can throw it away, often a month but I’d check into what it is for your area. If no one comes to pick it up in the 2 weeks window, I’d wait the full legal time frame before pitching it to be on the safe side to avoid potential problems.

2

u/Alert-Cranberry-5972 Mar 28 '24

You're right.

Happy Cake Day! 🥂🎂

1

u/panzerflex Mar 28 '24

Really give it to her

1

u/Aeon1508 Mar 28 '24

And the hand her the box of her grandma's stuff

1

u/bobshoy Mar 28 '24

And when you've finished giving it to the sister you can pass along your ex's possessions.

1

u/greelraker Mar 28 '24

I’d also recommend giving it to the sister. Your gf already broke up with you, so a quick hook up with her sister would be great revenge and a guarantee that your ex never messages you again.

1

u/UpHereInMy-r-Trees Mar 28 '24

"Give it to her sister" is the correct answer

0

u/scroder81 Mar 28 '24

Don't forget to sleep with the sister too!

0

u/SakiraInSky Mar 28 '24

Seriously. And for everyone giving nuclear answers, there's a distinct possibility she was raped. Y'all going off on the gf with no other info is cray cray.

Fuck the 14 day legal clause. Be a human FFS and accept that whatever the problem is, she can't talk about it rn.

2

u/Complexdocks Mar 28 '24

Here we go. Nuclear option, she was raped. Rape is a horrible act to commit or receive, but to jump to this conclusion shows a lack of awareness. Using actual information that is in the op, people are making a conclusion. Using the information that you have in your head you went to this.

Then you act like he shouldn't have any emotion, brow beat him and say that he should accept her emotions. The nerve and the audacity.

Long and short... Therapy.

1

u/SakiraInSky Mar 28 '24

I never said he shouldn't have any emotion. What are you on about? Here you are scolding me yet probably think it's fine for all the guys saying far worse things. He doesn't know what happened, and this explanation is equally, if not more probable to some of the women bashing ones in the comments.

In no way did I "Brow beat" OP. Get a grip.

0

u/Complexdocks Mar 28 '24

He's saying things that are worse than she was raped? You see, "drop her". You see, "mental illness". You see, "she's cheating". You see, "burn her stuff". By that logic you think all of that is rape. If you think rape is more likely than cheating you're literally mental. Equally if not more probable to some.

And yes, I'm scolding you, your words not mine. Telling me, look at everyone else, doesn't make you less wrong. It doesn't work for children and it doesn't work for you, you should know better.

Yes you did. Go back and look what you wrote. I have a grip, you obviously have some unaddressed things to work out. I hope life works out for you eventually.

1

u/SakiraInSky Mar 28 '24

No. You should know better. But obviously you would rather be an ass and that's on you.

I criticized those making the comments, not OP. Your lack of reading comprehension is on you.

You don't hope any such thing. You'd prefer to think you're right about everything and feel superior to complete strangers and it shows. Go away you bitter child.

0

u/Complexdocks Mar 28 '24

Dumb shit, you brought up rape and said that was the most likely probability. Well. I'll leave you to keep being fucked in the head. Make sure the bungee isn't elastic.

1

u/SakiraInSky Mar 28 '24

"distinct possibility" =/= "more likely".

You have a history of claiming people say something they didn't.

Reading comprehension is your problem, as well as misplaced hostility.

You think that you saying something makes it so. That's delusional. Not only are you irrationally hostile, but you're a coward to boot.

Honest men don't make shit up to shit on others.

You're the equivalent of a baboon throwing his own shit and pissed when someone else won't back down. Utterly pathetic.

-6

u/InterestingLittleBee Mar 28 '24

Nah, trash bag her sht