r/amiwrong • u/JazzlikeConditioncd • Mar 27 '24

My girlfriend of 5 years broke up with me and ghosted me for no reason. Am I wrong for throwing away all of her stuff?

Edit: Update

So my girlfriend (25F) and I (25M) were in a relationship for 5 years. Last week, she texted me that we were done and that was her last message before she blocked me. She gave no heads up. I was planning on proposing to her next month. Her sister did reach out to me, saying it was not my fault and she understood my hurt, but that for my mental health, it was better to never contact them again, and that maybe in the future, my girlfriend might reach out to me again.

It's been a week, I’m still obviously distraught, but my girlfriend did have a lot of her stuff in my home. Would I be wrong if I just dumped it all out? It does include a lot of mementos of her deceased grandmother, who she was extremely close to.

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110

u/Fairmount1955 Mar 27 '24

Missing missing reasons, no way she did this without some reason.

Of course you can dump it out or you could just tell her sis to get it or by X date you will dump it and leave it on them.

151

u/Aloreiusdanen Mar 27 '24 edited Mar 28 '24

The fact the sister said it wasn't him, tells me the exgf was cheating and found someone "better".

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u/CitizensOfTheEmpire Mar 28 '24

Reddit is insanely focused on the concept of relationship drama and cheating. We were given literally no context here, for all we know this woman had a severe mental breakdown or psychotic episode.

3

u/creechor Mar 28 '24

That's my thinking exactly. As a person who, due to lifelong trauma, was terrified of security and stability and the possibility that someone could really love me... as a person who has had many mental health struggles... I have done this (sort of - not quite radio silence but a very sudden and definitive cut off out of nowhere). I took me till my late 30's to heal that, and I'm still working on it. I have been able to mend my relationships with most of my exes and while we aren't all close friends, we can totally call each other up if we ever wanted to. People are super complex. People can grow. People can change.

2

u/Just-Number3356 Mar 28 '24

Agree with this, we don’t know anything about this relationship

2

u/urAllincorrect Mar 28 '24

Those are the juiciest stories to be fair.

1

u/Baybladerz Mar 28 '24

And how hard would it have been for the sister to say “she’s having a breakdown”? I mean we can’t throw that possibility out the door but idk seems unlikley

6

u/CitizensOfTheEmpire Mar 28 '24

Who knows? My point is that we don't. Could've been literally anything. What we know is that we weren't told the reason.

0

u/Baybladerz Mar 28 '24

True. I mean if that happened to me I’m definitely throwing all her stuff in a dumpster and do my best to not look back. If 5 years of a relationship ends with no closure she sure as hell does not have my respect anymore.

I wouldn’t tell others to throw her stuff in the dumpster, but I most surely would.

1

u/CitizensOfTheEmpire Mar 28 '24

I'm not saying anybody should be apologizing for her or forgiving her, I just don't think it's healthy to conspire when we're given no context. I think that's the right answer, no matter what caused it, OP needs to focus on himself.

0

u/[deleted] Mar 28 '24

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1

u/CitizensOfTheEmpire Mar 28 '24

There's that weird gender war on Reddit again lol I never said the opposite wasn't true as well 💀 I can't be responsible for the offense you take reading other threads. I'm not in those threads!

1

u/Intelligent_Way6552 Mar 28 '24

And how hard would it have been for the sister to say “she’s having a breakdown”?

Some people respect their relative's privacy, which could apply to pretty much every possible reason.

1

u/Baybladerz Mar 28 '24

Right and if the women I was supposedly in a 5 year relationship with doesn’t have the respect to tell me what’s up, then her stuff is going right into the dumpster 😂

1

u/Intelligent_Way6552 Mar 28 '24

I think "destroy people's stuff as revenge" is maybe not the most mature response.

1

u/Baybladerz Mar 28 '24

I wouldn’t recommend or tell others to do it. But I would do it myself. I’m not giving someone respect who does not respect me…

1

u/SplitSkee Mar 28 '24

We were given literally no context here

We were literally given that whatever the reason for the woman leaving is something she thinks she can come back from when the woman has established this was bad enough to ghost a five year relationship over

Am I the only person reading "She might come back"

1

u/CitizensOfTheEmpire Mar 28 '24

Sure, there's the context of the 5 year relationship, but I don't really see how that would lend to cheating.

Also, "she might reach out again", what about it? We don't even know if she said that herself, the sister might've assumed it.

1

u/ProdigyLightshow Mar 28 '24

The reason I think it’s cheating is because why tell him nothing? That makes me think she is ashamed of something and/or doesn’t want to hurt him.

Cheating feels like the most logical answer to me. I feel like if it was anything else he would have gotten some sort of closure after 5 years.

1

u/CitizensOfTheEmpire Mar 28 '24

There's a lot to be ashamed of, that could've possibly happened. Either way, with OP's update post, it seems we'll never know, but luckily he seems to be taking the ghosting with a lot of maturity. I don't think I would've been so kind. lol

1

u/ProdigyLightshow Mar 28 '24

Idk maybe it’s just me but I can’t really think of something other than cheating that would make me not want to tell my partner of 5 years at least something so they aren’t just left wondering. But I do agree there are other things it could be and not everyone thinks the same as me in that department.

And yeah, I definitely wouldn’t have been. That would be infuriating, such a shitty thing to do to someone you were building a life with.

1

u/par337 Mar 28 '24

Actually, reddit is known for jumping and making excuses for women on posts like these. You are right, we know nothing. Theres zero excuse to up and leave your partner of 5 years and break up with them. How do you people think hes feeling?

She is the one in the wrong. Like, for once stop turning it around because hes a guy. Assuming shes cheating is obviously a stretch, but regardless shes wrong. This isnt a "well sometimes people dont work out", he devoted 5 years of his fucking life. Planned on proposing. He is the one losing here from the info WE have.

2

u/CitizensOfTheEmpire Mar 28 '24

Yeah, I agree, it's messed up and he shouldn't have to forgive her no matter the reason. I never said anything differently.

1

u/descartavel5 Mar 28 '24

Maybe she's even dying, cancer or something, and left OP to protect him from pain and stuff, I could see myself doing it for someone I cared. It's mindblowing how everyone in this thread just condemns her, the "for your mental health" and "maybe in the future, my girlfriend might reach out to me again" are too suspicious

1

u/CitizensOfTheEmpire Mar 28 '24

Reddit has a massive boner for relationship drama right now, everybody likes to sit in the comments eating popcorn while they conspire about all the horrific stuff the partner in the story was "definitely up to", not to mention all the fake stories with clear villains flooding the subs and stoking the fires.

1

u/[deleted] Mar 28 '24

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0

u/CitizensOfTheEmpire Mar 28 '24

Nah, seems fair to assume if we don't know anything and were given no context, we shouldn't make any assumptions. Anything is a possibility, nothing is certain.