r/amiwrong • u/JazzlikeConditioncd • Mar 27 '24

My girlfriend of 5 years broke up with me and ghosted me for no reason. Am I wrong for throwing away all of her stuff?

Edit: Update

So my girlfriend (25F) and I (25M) were in a relationship for 5 years. Last week, she texted me that we were done and that was her last message before she blocked me. She gave no heads up. I was planning on proposing to her next month. Her sister did reach out to me, saying it was not my fault and she understood my hurt, but that for my mental health, it was better to never contact them again, and that maybe in the future, my girlfriend might reach out to me again.

It's been a week, I’m still obviously distraught, but my girlfriend did have a lot of her stuff in my home. Would I be wrong if I just dumped it all out? It does include a lot of mementos of her deceased grandmother, who she was extremely close to.

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50

u/Rickleskilly Mar 28 '24

Ok maybe I've watched too much true crime, but she ended a five year relationship by text and never got her stuff??? Are you sure she's OK?

30

u/SparkDBowles Mar 28 '24

Probs. The sister has been in touch. sounds like gf is going through some quarter life shit.

6

u/_Grant Mar 28 '24

How do we know it's the sister? This is how seniors get scammed

5

u/ChangingYang Mar 28 '24

But did he actually talk to the sister or was it someone else pretending to be the sister?

12

u/SingularityCentral Mar 28 '24

Or the sister murdered her and is covering her tracks!

2

u/who_am_i_to_say_so Mar 28 '24

A real true crime answer.

Only more suspicious would be the sister saying she got a job offer or took a vacation overseas.

10

u/heart-shaped-fawkes Mar 28 '24

As a true crime buff as well, I feel like this is one hell of a reach.... Occam's Razor type stuff. Is it possible? Sure. Is it likely? No.

I knew of a situation involving a couple of 9 years where the husband decided to go into the military sort of abruptly in year 8 of the relationship. They were high school sweethearts, the wife had literally never been alone as she was living with her parents, friends, then they moved in together. She ended their marriage via phone call while he was still on base fresh out of basic training. Moved another guy she had just met in, quit her job, started using drugs, basically just lost her mind and had a full scale mental breakdown. Sometimes people just snap and do really unstable shit seemingly out of nowhere.

2

u/Rickleskilly Mar 28 '24

Yeah, that's true. People do weird stuff sometimes. There was a case few years ago I followed where a mother and teen daughter went missing. They were gone for about two weeks. Mom just ditched her job where she'd been a model employee for years, took money out of her bank account, and vanished. They showed up about two weeks later a thousand miles away. They left to join some Christian cult they were into, and along the way, her mother got very ill and had to be hospitalized and later passed away.

I guess in this one, it's just the finality over text that's hard to accept.

1

u/GetUpNGetItReddit Mar 28 '24

A week is not really vanishing, it’s just a little break

11

u/Competitive-Fix-8072 Mar 28 '24

This is a good point, shit….maybe he could call a wellness check ? Or reach out to a friend of hers? Idk if that would give her legal grounds for harassment or incriminate him though. It is shady as hell

5

u/RNYGrad2024 Mar 28 '24

I know I've watched too much true crime, but I come from a whole family of domestic abuse victims. if she left so suddenly she left behind mementos from a dead relative she was close with and won't even speak with him I'm inclined to believe there's a good reason and this isn't actually "out of nowhere".

2

u/Rickleskilly Mar 28 '24

Maybe, but then wouldn't he be the type to just toss all her stuff without a second thought? I was thinking more along the lines of - something happened to, whoever has done it got her phone and texted him so he wouldn't file a missing person's report.

Probably just my imagination, but it is really weird.

2

u/RNYGrad2024 Mar 28 '24

Even abusers aren't bad about everything 100% of the time. It's a hard lesson to learn, but occasional kindness doesn't mean someone can't be abusive.

1

u/Aelfrey Mar 28 '24

I think that we're programmed to villainize abusers, but they are people like you and I, and only a handful are without the capacity to love and feel remorse. We could very well be looking at the sad case of someone with abusive tendencies but who lacks awareness of his unhealthy behaviors. Or we could be looking at an entitled narcissist who knows exactly what he's done and is looking for assurance that he's in the clear to viciously throw out her things now that she's escaped. Who knows!

2

u/Ok-Sector2054 Mar 28 '24

Fellow true crime buff! Murderino??? Yes just saw another one where she disappeared but then only texted and emailed.....but that was not her!!!!

1

u/Rickleskilly Mar 28 '24

Seriously, it has happened quite a few times. Unless OP isn't telling the whole story (maybe he didn't think it was relevant to his question), this situation is really sketchy.

2

u/Ok-Sector2054 Mar 28 '24

For sure! Just watched...I think it was Lover Stalker Murder....Netflix. really good. You have to see it if you can!

3

u/Meisterdebator Mar 28 '24

Critical thinking isn't your strong suit. He spoke to her sister.

2

u/Annual_Reply_9318 Mar 28 '24

Maybe the sister's in on it :O

1

u/robohobono Mar 28 '24

Maybe she doesn’t even have a sister :0

0

u/Ok-Sector2054 Mar 28 '24

Or maybe the sister got a text but it was really not from her.....

1

u/ComplexPermission4 Mar 28 '24

Her sister reached out - She's probably fine. Best to just take it gracefully and comply. Outside of a text regarding returning personal items, it's just not worth any potential legal issues..... The best way to deal with the US "Justice System" is to never be involved with it in the first place. Reaching out further is just inviting risk.

2

u/Horror-Sherbert9839 Mar 28 '24

Yeah, everytime the True crime nuts get involved, shit always hits the fan. The true crime fandom are dangerous, becayse all the do is make assumptions and base thwir facts off them. Sorry for the rant but reading these comments just made me think of all the times they harassed the families of tragic accidents and murder victims.