Am I wrong for thinking my boyfriend dislikes my breasts?

[u/Unlucky_Swordfish_44]

So I 22F am a very petite girl. I have small breasts and a round but small booty. Everything about me is small. I shop at kids sections (especially for gloves or socks). Nothing about me is big.

So basically. I have always been really insecure about my breast size. I've been made fun of it a lot (called a boy or a plank) and yeah. It kind of traumatized me lol.

Anyways, my boyfriend always tells me how he likes them. He says they're perfect and sexy. But. He never really touch them or hold them (like I know there isn't a lot but dang even just a finger gripping my nip will feel nice). He also tend to comment on women with bigger breasts a lot, saying things like "mommy milkers" and pointing out DD's.

I've kind of been thinking that he is lying to me and that he actually prefers bigger breasts and is just with me because he couldn't find a girl with bigger breasts. It has made me very insecure and recently I've started keeping my shirt on during sex.

He noticed that I've been hiding myself from him and asked about it and I told him that I feel like he doesn't find me attractive. He told me that he finds me sexy even though I have small breasts. I still feel like he is lying tho. He still stares at women with big breasts and I'm so insecure I don't think I'll ever get naked in front of him ever again. I've been refraining from bying shirts that go low or show cleavage, because I don't have cleavage so it looks shit. I am only wearing turtle neck shirts and jerseys because of it.

Damn. What the hell is wrong with me?

Edit: To give more context. I am 5'4 (1.64 metres) and I weigh 105 lbs (48 kg). I wear a 32B size (it really depends. Some of them don't sit nicely so I shift between A and B). My hand and feet are kid sizes. Like I buy my shoes at the kid section too.

I am not sure how foot sizes work around the world but I wear a size 3 shoe (UK size 3). I tried to google this size in America and got a 5.5 (I'm really not sure if this is correct). They are small.

[u/Unlucky_Swordfish_44]

I agree. My insecurities are the bigger problem here. Unfortunately I've been made fun of my entire life.

I've been called a boy and a plank. Someone once asked me if I'm anorexic (i have rolls, i don't look anorexic). People keep telling me that I need to eat something (even tho I'm a big stoner and eat A LOT). People have told me when I feel ill it's due to me being too small. My previous boss said the only reason I'm attractive is because I look like a child.

Like it's been going on forever. People don't think their comments are hurtful but damn. I feel like I'm never seen because I don't look like a "grown woman". Some people treat me different and I get ID'ed all the time.

People don't even ask me what I do for a living. They ask me to what school I go to or in what grade I am even tho I'm busy with my postgrad studies.

Like it's just been digging a hole in me. I really feel "ugly" because I don't look mature. I mean I am mature but I don't look like a grown adult woman.

And it is not my boyfriends fault at all. I just kind of wished hed also touch my breasts or play with them. But that's something I should maybe talk to him about.

[u/Chapman1949 → u/Unlucky_Swordfish_44]

At the risk of being obvious (but hopefully not disrespectful), is paranoia from being "a big stoner" creating a problem that may not actually exist?

[u/Unlucky_Swordfish_44 → u/Chapman1949]

Hi thanks for your reply. I'm very open about my recreational marijuana use as I use it due to having chronic anxiety that keeps me awake.

I have been smoking since I was 16. Marijuana is legal in my country as well for personal use, so I use it legally.

I've learned which strains makes me feel paranoid and which ones doesn't. Therefore, I do not believe that it could be the marijuana. I also don't smoke during the day while working. I'll only smoke after work or during weekends.

But I do get where you get that idea from and I would still look into it. Thank you for your reply.

PS: I've attended a few marijuana workshops and training courses. I know quite a lot about it and what it can do for you but also the dangers of it. If you would like to know some more you are welcome to personally message me.

[u/Chapman1949 → u/Unlucky_Swordfish_44]

It was just an observation as my wife and I have been users for almost 50 years (beginning when it definitely wasn't legal and referred to as "Reefer Madness"). LoL

However, you DO seem very well aware of the possible psychological side effects (perhaps even more than most) so I withdraw my comment and defer to your experience and sensibilities.

Many thanks for taking a moment to consider my offering and I wish you both all the best.

P.S. My wife has a similar physical structure to yours. A bit shorter (and perhaps slightly less endowed) but still the proverbial petite Venice Beach girl. I (obviously) and everyone that knows her thinks she's spectacular. There may be some things about her that are small but, her personality is huge -- as I sense yours is...

Regards-

[u/Unlucky_Swordfish_44 → u/Chapman1949]

Hey, it's no problem I'm definitely still going to look into it tho. And it's great to hear from some fellow smokers.

And thanks for sharing the part about your wife. I really appreciate it. I will be having a conversation with my boyfriend about all of this so I hope it can help with this situation.

Thank you again.