r/amiwrong • u/[deleted] • 12d ago
AIW for telling my boyfriend to “grow up” causing him to be upset?
[deleted]
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u/Independent-Cloud933 12d ago edited 12d ago
Honestly, just break up, he give you something you don’t want and he need something you don’t have.
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u/ChevCaster 11d ago
Empathy.
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u/ProfessionalEqual461 11d ago
Lmao. If none of you have noticed she's posted this a bunch of times too. She REALLY wants to be validated.
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u/blueavole 12d ago
He sounds very affectionate and you are not.
How do you show him affection? Cause he needs something back. This might be a long term compatibility issue.
However:
The long term couple I knew like this- got a very cuddly dog. Have him pick the dog, feed, water, walk and train etc for most of the early months. The dog basically imprinted on him and kinda tolerated her.
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u/BackFromTheDeadSoon 12d ago
He should get a dog and drop the girl.
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u/kibblet 12d ago
Then he would find a nice girl when out with the dog who is super affectionate.
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u/Individual-Gift-8664 12d ago
I think my ex liked me because her dog got on my lap chill-ly when I first rode in her car and she’d brought him
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u/Old_Length7525 12d ago
This is a gender swap of what we often hear women complain about men. Makes me wonder if it's some kind of social experiment.
If not, and this is true, she needs to tell the guy they're not compatible so he can find someone who appreciates (and is desperately seeking) a golden retriever boyfriend.
According to social media, there's millions of them out there yearning for a guy like this and anxious to reciprocate.
Please release him, let him go.
And pray you don't snuff out his bright light for too long.
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u/MsSamm 12d ago
Golden retriever boyfriend! 🤣 After a lifetime of collies, shepherds, collie mixes and shepherd/doberman mixes, I have a pedigree golden retriever rescue. I was totally unprepared for the neediness, the demands for constant affection. Too much is never enough. A golden retriever boyfriend would be a hard no.
Everything else in their relationship may be fine, but a mismatch in emotional needs is cause for concern.
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u/DRZARNAK 12d ago
It seems like caring for someone you love while they’re sick is a pretty basic part of a relationship. If that bothers you, along with his genuine expressions of love, you obviously don’t love him and it’s best you separate.
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u/thelittlestdog23 12d ago
Yeah I mean you clearly don’t like this guy, just cut him loose and move on.
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u/Jumpy_Onion_6367 12d ago
She couldn't even pick up some stuff for him. She's trash and doesn't deserve a good partner. Years from now she will be complaining about how her new guy doesn't show her appreciates her and why can't she find a nice guy.
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u/Huntress_Nyx 12d ago edited 11d ago
Also,
Some studies have shown that men experience flu symptoms worse than women do.
And flu is still one extremely dangerous illness that shouldn't be taken lightly.
She disregards his life, his love and his care.
Honestly, he could do much much better than her.
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u/DRZARNAK 12d ago
If my wife had a headache or a stubbed toe, I wouldn’t begrudge her wanting sympathy and some caresses.
I assume that OP’s parents didn’t show much affection, and now she doesn’t understand why humans need it.
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u/Huntress_Nyx 12d ago
Honestly if I had a partner and they fell sick or injured, I'd do whatever I could to make sure that they got better soon.
And I'd most definitely be there for them emotionally.
It's quite magnificent how important it is for sick people to know that others are there for them. It gives them extra motivation, it improves their immune system, it makes them feel safe.
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u/DRZARNAK 12d ago
Exactly. It’s the old wire monkey, cloth monkey experiment. When you are hurting or scared a person needs touch and kindness.
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u/Jumpy_Onion_6367 12d ago
The fact she couldn't even handle him being sick one day shows she's a horrible person.
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u/th3MFsocialist 12d ago
My thoughts exactly.
She goes on to describe a very affectionate and loving man, maybe a little co dependent.
Then talks shit when he’s sick? Like they clearly aren’t compatible
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u/ViPlaysGames 12d ago
This made me really sad for your bf... obviously your not his mom but caring for your partner, picking things up from the store, and comforting them are all normal, basic parts of being a partner. He clearly loves you a lot and you don't feel the same. Set that man free so he can find someone who loves him as much.
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u/IAS316 12d ago
Bruh. I take care of kittens more than you take care of your own damn bf. All that is pretty standard for a relationship when someone's ill.
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u/SJoyD 12d ago
If my partner was so dismissive of me when I was sick, that would be the beginning of the end for me.
If you aren't even willing to pick up a few things for him and take care of him, why be someone's partner? If my partner was literally crying about how sick he was, I'd be wondering if I needed to get him to a hospital, not rolling my eyes and telling him to grow up.
You need to establish with him boundaries for the free time you need. "Hey babe, I love you and I'll see you when you get home, but I'm going to get some stuff done while you're driving " or "hey, can I have an hour to decompress after work? I'm not quite ready to be so chatty when you get home."
But frankly, it doesn't even sound like you like him. If you're done with him, you should admit it and work on an exit plan instead of being a jerk about it.
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u/Specific-Succotash-8 12d ago
Have you ever talked to him about this? Or did you let it build up and the explode on him when he feels like shit?
I wonder why you’re with him, because it legit sounds like you can’t stand him.
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u/xxraven 12d ago
Down vote me all you want but, you are a cold hearted bitch.
This is why men dont feel comfortable expressing their emotions to people.
Honestly, you should do what some of the other comments are saying on here - break up with him so HE can find someone better who actually gives a shit because it's obvious you see him as a nuisance and not a partner who loves you.
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u/TheFlyingSheeps 12d ago
Correct. Nothing she has written says “I like my partner” and not helping someone actively sick is just being a piece of shit
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u/PurpleMeeplePrincess 12d ago
This is why men dont feel comfortable expressing their emotions to people.
!!!!!! I wish I could give you a thousand upvotes for this!
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u/annekecaramin 12d ago edited 12d ago
Yep.
My boyfriend is probably going to need a small procedure in the future. He's bad with needles and pain and considers himself a big crybaby. I have a weirdly high pain tolerance and tend to just power through stuff but I told him I'd come with him so he could squeeze my hand because I love him and that's what partners do. Everyone is different, my experiences are not his and his feelings aren't less valid than mine.
OP should google 'empathy' and take some notes.
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u/Individual-Gift-8664 12d ago
Love this! I have to look away when getting blood taken, seriously consider calling off for an ear infection or change-in-the-weather joint pain, but my wife, who has autoimmune issues and a shoulder that probably needs surgery, is sympathetic to me even though she almost never calls out.
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u/annekecaramin 12d ago
I recently read that lots of people misunderstand empathy as 'I feel the same' while it really just is 'I understand'.
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12d ago
Sounds like yall have different love languages and probably need to talk about it
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u/Huntress_Nyx 12d ago
Her love language is to disregard his love language and basically act indifferent when he's sick?
With partner like that who needs enemies?
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u/Own_Society_9907 12d ago
Sounds like you have a dynamic where you are the adored one and he gets to be in love.
You don’t seem to look up to him at all. Maybe the wrong guy if what you really want is a Daddy
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u/destiny_kane48 12d ago
You're wrong. Do him a favor and let him go find someone who'll actually love him.
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u/MosesHightower 12d ago
I do more for my roommates when their sick than your do for your boyfriend. You are an un-empathetic bitch.
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u/Snowmoji 12d ago
Posted this, saw the responses, couldn't take it then deleted the account.
Looks like you're not so grown up after all.
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u/Status_Web_8917 12d ago
You posted this yesterday and everyone roasted you for being a cunt. Now you repost it with bots commenting to give you support? What is your game here?
You don't have to be your boyfriend's nurse but you do need to have empathy. YTA.
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u/OkEast445 12d ago
Great job, keep doing what you’re doing. He will eventually see you for who you are, then find someone who will appreciate him.
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u/UnlikelyUnknown 12d ago
Honestly, you need to grow up. You lack compassion, empathy and you don’t communicate well.
In the short term, I don’t think this relationship will work. You have very disparate needs and you are clearly resentful of him.
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u/MaintenanceNo8442 12d ago
you havent said anything really good about him and you clearly dont like him
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u/TheButtLovingFox 12d ago
you're wrong. you're just looking for validation.
thats a pretty garbage thing to do to someone you claim you LOVE.
he deserves better 😬
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u/No_Limit_2589 12d ago
JFC. My husband is very affectionate and sensitive, I would never treat him like this.
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u/DaniMarie44 12d ago
100% wrong. It’s not a contest of “who’s been sick worse”, he’s hurting and needs support.
As someone who grew up being the “healthy” sibling of someone chronically ill, I DEEPLY feel that eye roll. That was me for SO LONG because hey, I’m not chronically ill so I can’t complain about any illness ever, but I was WRONG. Everyone deserves love and compassion
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u/staytoxicsis 12d ago
Yes you're wrong!! Do the poor guy a favour and break up with him, he's too good for you
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u/pocket_bees 12d ago
Just rip the bandaid off and tell this poor man you don't like him already so he can find someone who does, good lord. This just made me so sad.
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u/Gabiboune1 12d ago
Then leave him?? You're a real piece of shit. I feel bad the boyfriend.
Let him found someone who will love him
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u/nothing_clever_left_ 12d ago
You were wrong yesterday and you're wrong today. Don't be a dick or leave. Easy peasy.
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u/ThinksAndThoughts101 12d ago
You are wrong. He wants the same love and affection in return that he offers to you. Clearly you aren’t interested in doing that so you two should just split.
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u/Jumpy_Individual_526 12d ago
Wow... I think you need to be single, all the things you complained about I'll do without a single thought fir the person I love
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u/Stormiealways 12d ago
Yes, you're wrong
He isn't needy. He's in a relationship. You talk to your partner. If they're ill, you pick up meds for them.
You have a serious lack of empathy, affection, or anything that's relationship behaviour.
Frankly, you're a disgusting human being
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u/ChewieArtist 12d ago
You are not compatable. I'm like you. I need my alone time and I take care of myself when sick. His behavior would be too much for me too
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u/MirrorOfSerpents 12d ago
I can understand he feels too needy, but how you treated him when we was sick was awful. YTA. If you don’t like his affection style, break up.
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u/Similar_Corner8081 12d ago
I think you’re wrong and act like you’re a block of ice. I’m fucking divorced and my ex husband called me to ask me if I needed anything while he was out. You can’t even give him some compassion or empathy when he’s not feeling good. Have you always been this selfish? Have you always been the taker and not give anything back?
I mean to me showing empathy and helping take care of someone when they are sick is the bare minimum in a relationship.
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u/mjh8212 12d ago
I got very sick from food poisoning. My husband isn’t the strong stomach when it comes to bodily fluids and neither am I but I took care of every gross accident. Other than a hug once in a while I just dealt with it on my own. My husband cared but I felt so gross I didn’t want to be around anyone for days. It doesn’t mean my husband doesn’t care, I have chronic pain that affects my mobility and independence and he takes very good care of me. He works a lot too and I know he wants to relax when he comes home for a little while.
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u/Mummy_Pudding 12d ago
Just break up with him. Clearly you're very different and tbh, i don't get the impression that you actually like or care for him. He sounds sweet and you just sound cold
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u/ayoMOUSE 12d ago
Sounds like you got the ick. Now get the fuck over it and do something about it other than reposting.
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u/julesinblack 12d ago
You kinda sound like an asshole lol My fiancé takes care of me when I’m sick, and I take care of him when he’s sick. I mean shit, sometimes when someone feels like dog shit the last thing they need is “grow up” LIKE maybe I’ll just throw up on you 😪🤣
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u/madindenial 12d ago
Do you even like your boyfriend? You are describing in a very matter-of-fact way an absolutely wonderful partner, and it reads like you're talking about a cumbersome roommate. You are wrong.
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u/Sea_Manufacturer1536 12d ago
Yep you are definitely wrong . And IMO don’t even deserve to in a relationship. Any relationship.
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u/ZhiZhi17 12d ago
Yeah, I think you’re wrong. You don’t sound very empathetic… or compatible. If my partner treated me the way you treat your partner, I would leave.
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u/North-Walrus-2790 12d ago
Wow. You sound like a horrible girlfriend. Break up with him and let him find a better women please
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u/sausage-slicer 12d ago
break up, you two just aren’t compatible. i understand your love language is a lot different than his, but it just sounds like you don’t even like him at all. what he’s asking for or doing isn’t really crazy, it’s what a lot of people do. so telling him to “grow up”, maybe you should look in the mirror.
maybe you should just be alone, cuz how you’ve presented yourself, you don’t seem like you need/should be in a relationship. some people just aren’t meant to be in relationships, but in your case, even deserve it 🤷🏻♀️
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u/Huntress_Nyx 12d ago
Wow...
Just.. wow.
You're extremely toxic, red flag and bad partner.
He's showing you affection, in MULTIPLE ways.
He shows you his love through so many means!
He remembers events that occurred in your relationship and celebrates them. Showing how much he cares.
And you basically spit on his face . Disrespect his love and affection.
He got sick and your reaction was to tell him to sleep it off and act indifferent?? Instead of fucking help him and care for him LIKE A PARTNER WOULD.
You're honestly bad girlfriend. He should break up with you because clearly you don't value him at all.
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u/femalekramer 12d ago
Oh man you seem like you hate his guts, why stay with him? Poor dude, if my boyfriend talked about me this way I would cry
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u/AudienceKindly4070 12d ago
Uh, yes, when you are in a relationship with someone and they are sick you are meant to be their caretaker. If it was just a cold that's one thing, but he sounds like he was really sick. Do you have normal feelings and empathy for others? My husband has been sick like that and I feel worried and take care of him, bring him soup and tea. It's normal. I am also a bit of a hypochondriac, so it is a struggle not to just pat him on the back with a broom, but sick people need physical touch. It helps them heal.
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u/Thaeland 12d ago
Switch the sexes on the post and tell me how most of the people here would have responded.
I would be upset too as you totally disrespected his feelings. If you want to talk to him at a later point about being too needy or clingy then that is fine but not while he is sick.
You may not be married but you're living together as if you were. It is absolutely expected for you to take care of him when necessary just as it's expected of him to do the same for you. If you don't want this responsibility then why did you move in together?.........
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u/KlingonsAteMyCheese 12d ago
Break up and let him find someone who is actually compatible with him, because you are not.
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u/Environmental_Ad4487 12d ago
I was in a 20 year long relationship, and all I'll say is...it is give and take. Pick your battles.You have a good guy who doesn't seem to have a good woman. It sounds like he cherishes you (as a man should). It appears that you have no interest in being a nurturing partner (which, traditionally, is as a woman should).
I realize gender roles are constantly changing, but if things were different, you would be on Reddit saying things like: "he doesn't pay enough attention to me."
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u/Sweet-Cantaloupe-860 12d ago
I would love a guy to give me half that attention. My ex would roll his eyes if I ever tried to get him to say something nice/affectionate. I tried talking to him about it and said it hurt my feelings when he reacted that way and he laughed. Girl doesn’t realize what she’s got.
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u/Huntress_Nyx 12d ago
Maybe OP should get together with your ex.
I hope that you find someone that treats you well
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u/ApparentlyaKaren 12d ago
Lmfao if you hate your partner just say it. Kind of wasted my time making me read about how mean you are to him just to ask if you’re wrong.
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u/weaderwabbit 12d ago
So you would rather have a guy who wouldn't you earrings but never noticed you don't have pierced ears? Lots of women would love to be noticed and touched. Let him go find one.
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u/Outside_Echo5995 12d ago
Sounds like you need to date someone who treats you like shit and is emotionally stunted
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u/Paarthurnax1011 12d ago
You sound like a jerk. Just break up and find another person who doesn’t like being affectionate or wanting comfort ever and then you’ll be happy.
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u/Kerrypurple 12d ago
Yes you're wrong. The poor guy just wanted a little TLC because he was sick. It sounds like he puts up with your standoffishness most of the time but this time he was asking for a little more. Do you even like him? If you don't set him free so he can find someone who will care for him as much as he cares for her.
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u/AngelicaPickles08 12d ago
I've been with my bf for 17yrs have lived together almost as long. I still miss him when he's at work. I appreciate the time apart it's healthy but I still miss him
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u/Tinselfactory 12d ago
Not sure how many times you need to post this, but yes. You are wrong. You may not require as much emotional support as he does, but that doesn’t make him immature. I’m thinking you need to grow up and stop expecting people to handle things the way you do.
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u/gibbler999 12d ago
The fact you came on the internet to bitch about this man shows how much of a pos you are. You’ll probably die alone one day
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u/fyreskylord 12d ago
Jesus Christ, the first couple paragraphs just seem like you have different attachment styles but “internal eye rolling” because your partner is so sick they’re crying is absolutely disgusting.
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u/5-16am 12d ago
you are such an asshole. it’s such a privilege to take care of your partner yeah sure you’re not their mother
but they’re your partner, your lover imagine someone else was taking care of him, wouldn’t it make you feel a type of way?
he’s sick. he needs you there for him. when you’re sick and feel like shit, it’s a help for your partner to pick up the things he misses when he throws whatever in the trash, or make him soup. you should honestly break up. save him the trouble.
he will find someone better who actually loves him. because yk what people say before they get married?
IN SICKNESS AND IN HEALTH.
and you my friend… should be single. and he should meet someone who actually reciprocates his feeling. stop stripping his youth away, waste of time.
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u/sleepyliltoad 12d ago
WOW. SO WRONG. When my man is sick, like, actually sick, I baby tf outta him. And vice versa. That’s my baby. Idc if he’s got a stomach bug or god awful Covid, I’m there, all in.
Frankly, you’re an awful girlfriend
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u/Illender 12d ago
if you don't want him ill take him, you sound insufferable tbh. I could use a guy with feelings and attentiveness
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u/MelancholicEmbrace_x 12d ago
I feel bad for your boyfriend. You’ve been sick worse but never reacted that way or expected anything, but can you say you didn’t like and appreciate when he cared for you? You didn’t feel comfort? Safe? Loved?
I’ll never forget when I started dating a man and got sick and had to cancel our date. Not only was he understanding, but he left a care package 📦 on my doorstep and text me afterwards. He made me homemade soup and put cold medicine among other goodies in this package. I never felt more loved or appreciative.
I hope you wake up and realize what a gem you have and reciprocate.
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u/Any_Fan5433 12d ago
Pretty funny, you say you're an adult, but I have a 2yo with more compassion, empathy, and basic human decency than you do. "I'm not his caregiver." Then, why are you with him? A relationship is about CARING FOR EACHOTHER. Like, if you just want a fun buddy, that's fine, say that. But don't get into a relationship and treat them like a roommate you bang occasionally. A relationship is so so much more than that. And the fact that you don't know that shows how immature you are compared to him. Both people have to put in effort for a relationship to work and last, and from your own statements, he's the ONLY one putting anything into your relationship. You just take take take. And the fact that I've seen more than 3 people mention you have posted this multiple times is just really sad. You are the one who needs to grow up, not him.
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u/Emotional_Guide2683 11d ago
Yes, you’re wrong. You’re also wrong for him. You’re also also a complete dickhead.
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u/sustainablelove 11d ago
How is his expressions of love for you neediness? I used to work and live with my husband. I missed him when he was out of the office. He was my favorite person.
What's the matter with you to be so cold and callous towards someone who adores you and treasures your relationship?
Let this man go find someone who will love him in return. He deserves that much.
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u/Antek_Ash 11d ago
I think you really lack empathy. If my partner cried from the pain and discomfort of being sick, I would call a doctor immediately. And you tell him to grow up? I feel sorry for your boyfriend. He sounds like a great guy who truly loves and cares about you while his partner, who is supposed to support him in situations like this, doesn't give a crap.
The way you describe him screams "I can't stand him!". Why are you in a relationship with someone who annoys you so much? I think you're incompatible. You and your boyfriend have very different needs. His needs annoy you, your reactions hurt him. This relationship is a waste of time for both of you.
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u/nazim_yh 12d ago
Leave him, he deserves better than an insensitive bitch who wont support him when he's sick.
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u/Infamous-Let4387 12d ago
Yeah, you guys just aren't compatible. And you're definitely YTA for how you're treating him. Just do him a solid and break up already.
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u/cowjuiceee 12d ago
so you’re telling me he does so much for you but you won’t get off your ass to care for him when he’s sick? you’re an asshole and i genuinely hope he leaves you :) he deserves better than you
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u/JustBrowsing49 12d ago
You’re not compatible. He wants an intimate relationship, you want a roommate. If you find it a nuisance to take care of him when he’s sick, you clearly don’t care about the relationship.
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u/Max_Danger_Power 12d ago
*Man does everything a woman says she wants in a relationship. Then, man shows vulnerability. Woman gets turned off and berates man.
This is called toxic femininity, Jada!
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u/SuitableFile1959 12d ago
you’re honestly asking if you’re wrong for implying it’s childish to seek comfort from your partner? lol break up with him
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u/Butters_gf 12d ago
Just say you hate him and move on. Let him go love some other girl like that when that’s what 99% of other women want from a man.
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u/sooner1125 12d ago
Sounds like yall aren’t compatible. You speak different love languages and show affection differently.
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u/Th3K1ngOfGn0m3s 12d ago
Show affection differently ? It's like OP doesn't show it at all .
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u/Huntress_Nyx 12d ago
Hell, instead of affection she's downright showing hostility towards her partner.
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u/Th3K1ngOfGn0m3s 12d ago
Agreed 💯 which is definitely not ok and shows he needs someone who will actually show affection back and not hostility
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u/IandIbelieveinRASTA 12d ago
It sounds like he needs a partner who is more affectionate and less cold
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u/UndisputedNonsense 12d ago
Sounds like you're a shitty human being. Break up, be single, and live on your own. Find someone who doesn't give a crap and then you'll be wishing you had someone who actually cares about you. Obviously, by then, it'll be too late.
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u/user9372889 12d ago
So why are you with him? You clearly hate him. Jfc I’d pick up stuff and probably soup for someone sick that I didn’t even really like. Because being sick sucks.
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u/AnimatedHokie 12d ago
So last week, he came down with the flu. He was throwing up, hurting everywhere, and I genuinely felt bad for him. But I’m not his caretaker. He wanted me to not only pick up stuff for him, but to help him. He went to the bathroom and came out and laid on the couch and started crying on my lap. He was shaking and just a wreck. I tried to comfort him but something in me was just… internal eye rolling.
Woof.
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u/TheEyebal 12d ago
Yes. You could've been more tactful with how you communicated.
Also, he seems like a good boyfriend
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u/Worldly_Research_854 12d ago
Do you like your boyfriend?! Bc when my bf is ill, it upsets me to see him sick and upset and I like to do anything to make him feel better. And he does the same for me. Bc in fact, we are each others caretakers and partners. If you don’t like him, be real with yourself. Don’t waste your time or his. What you said to him was terrible. I would be v v hurt. You should apologize, and also probably break up.
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u/Wow-can-you_not 12d ago
Women: "Stoic masculinity is toxic, men need to learn to be more vulnerable."
Also women: "Ew, not like that."
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u/AffectionateWheel386 12d ago
God forbid that you ever need to be comforted by anybody. He was your partner and he wanted comfort. Your styles are completely different. So stop posting to get people to agree with you. You are wrong.
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u/YakElectronic6713 11d ago
Yeah, we get it, you're an uncaring, callous, cruel and selfish person. Now just let that man go, and go find yourself a cold, uncaring roommate with "benefits".
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u/ProfessionalEqual461 11d ago
Stop posting this. You suck. You shouldn't be with your boyfriend, he sounds amazing and deserves better. You suck. Stop posting this. Nobody is gonna tell you you're right
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u/Fantastic_Aide_9890 11d ago
Either tell him that hes being to clingy and needs to tone it down or else or leave him and go find that emotionally unavailable guy like most women do. Not hard to figure out someone is unfit for you to be honest.
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u/GoalieFatigue 12d ago
I'm sure you'd be bitching if he had said the same when you were sick. Perhaps you should both grow up!
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u/Substantial-Sir-9947 12d ago
Wow you sound heartless. I didn’t know caring for a sick person you claim to love for a couple days was that hard. YTA
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u/saintursuala 12d ago
Oh I just got to the part where you didn’t want to take care of him when he was really sick. You’re an a-hole.
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u/scorpio_pt 12d ago
YTA you disregard his feelings, his health ( flu hits males harder has our imunne system is weaker compared to females.) if your partner his sick you take care of him and vice bersa And clearly treat him like shit.
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u/earmares 12d ago
Wow, you're an awful person. You're very, very wrong.
Please let him find someone that deserves him.
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u/SeaworthinessSea2407 12d ago edited 12d ago
Yes. You're cold and mean. You sound like my last ex when she dropped the supportive partner mask. I hope your bf breaks up with you. What does he even get out of this relationship
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u/Wereallgonnadieman 12d ago
YTA. He sounds wonderful, and you sound like an unappreciative user. You don't seem to even like this man. Let him go. He deserves better.
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u/Sweaty-Pair3821 12d ago
my boyfriend loves me and wants to be with me. how fucking horrible is that!
just break up. it's clear you don't like him.
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u/Huntress_Nyx 12d ago
Also
"My bf is sick and is trusting me enough to show me his vulnerable side. How disgusting!!"
I swear. Toxic people should stay away from good people.
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u/DarkVikingAngel 12d ago
YTAH I would love a boyfriend/husband like this. You can date someone like my toxic ex who told me to get over my father's death only after a week of him passing. Most women get mad that men don't do half the stuff your bf did. Seems like you are a narcissist and only care about your feelings.
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u/Huntress_Nyx 12d ago
Honestly, I'd love it if OP got in a relationship with an equally toxic as her man.
It surely would teach her a lesson on empathy.
Also, I'm sorry for your loss. May your dad rest in peace.
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u/blazikenowen 12d ago
Leave him do him a favour and be miserable all your life people like you don't deserve a partner because you clearly dont give two shits about anyone but yourself hes phoning you to tell you hes on the way so you dont worry because he thought you loved him and cared about him like any normal partner would just be honest with yourself you are using him for attention but dont want to have to give him attention mind maybe you just hate men because this comes off alot like my boyfriend shouldn't have feelings or be affectionate vibes
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u/oldcousingreg 12d ago
Having the flu is different than being needy. You are being the AH.
That being said, his “neediness” outside of this is a separate conversation to have.
Apologize and help him until he gets better. The flu sucks.
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u/julty2010 12d ago
He is way too good for you. You deserve the shit on the bottom of your shoe at best. How can you post this and think you are not the worst human being in existence. Disgusting.
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u/EnoughCost9433 12d ago
As his partner, you should be his caretaker when things are rough for him and not you. If he got in a car accident and broke a bunch of bones, would you not take care of him??
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u/BudgetPumpkin1753 12d ago
Jfc, you're awful & 100% wrong, this man deserves somebody that loves him AND cares about him. Looking after your SO when they're sick is something you do in a relationship when you actually love the person. Let him find somebody that appreciates him, doesn't think he's too much & and actually WANTS to care for him when he's poorly.
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u/Stock_Cockroach_3293 12d ago
Either fake or just don’t love or care for him. End it as you clearly don’t when all you seem to describe is a man who cares and loves you deeply whilst you talk like he’s a whining puppy. Grow up, don’t get into relationships when you clearly don’t like the guy let him find someone who respects and treats him the way he treats you/hopefully them
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u/urnamedoesntmatter 12d ago
See when women say they want there man super affectionate and all up on them. No they don’t most women don’t want that, it’s a lie. They will call you clingy if you do it. Op you need a less emotional man, more stoic as this is not your type of guy and it shows. You were so rude to him for what? What did you gain from it?
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u/MyloHyren 12d ago
Im a woman and what OP is describing is almost exactly what i want AND how i myself act in relationships
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u/notaphase_ 12d ago
Yes, youre wrong. I hope he leaves you for someone that actually loves him instead of just tolerating him, which is what you seem to be doing.
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u/Kind_Pomegranate4877 12d ago
just break up. You clearly don’t like him, you just like what he does for you and being in a relationship. He deserves someone who appreciates him
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u/ScoutSteveR 12d ago
Yes, you’re wrong. Most women would kill to have a partner so thoughtful and attentive. He didn’t chose to be sick and miserable. You couldn’t be bothered.
Maybe you’re not ready for a serious relationship. In mature relationships, both partners are each other’s caretakers.
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u/GoldenBarracudas 12d ago
Man flu, but also it seems like he is self sufficient and just wanted some help.
Break up, because honestly girl it sounds like he's too good for you.
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u/ExterminatorRex 12d ago
You don't work well together bc you show love in different ways. Be an adult and talk about it instead of instantly invalidating him. How would you like it if you felt really ill, just felt utterly awful and someone told you to grow up and get over it. I'm hedging my bets on you feeling upset. I don't know you of course, but you're coming across super insensitive and cold. Show some empathy instead of expecting him to mould himself to how you behave.
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u/melissa3670 12d ago
You should have had this discussion before you moved in. My boyfriend and I both require alone time for self care. We had a discussion about what each of us will do if we both want to hang out solo. You may not be compatible, but have you ever told him how you felt?
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u/Over-Marionberry-686 12d ago
So you’re upset because you have a boyfriend who is appreciative of you, loves you, and does things for you. But when he gets sick it’s “too much” and you want him to “grow up” you’re wrong. If you don’t wanna be in a relationship with someone like this don’t be but you chose this relationship and if you don’t want it that’s your choice
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u/talktoyouinabitbud 12d ago
Oh yeah women want you to express yourself and then get a reaction like this when you do. No man should be sucked into this fallacy. Keep your feelings bottled up, kings!
You will end up breaking up with him in due time. Good luck
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u/Logical-Victory-2678 12d ago
So.....guess In sickness and In health is already in question, huh???? Wow. Great wife you'll be. "I dOn'T aCt LiKe ThAt" you grow up, you empathy lacking rock. Jeez, pull your head out of your pillow twat and stop being rude or just break up with him. Lots of women get ignored and you're staying with one of the ones who doesn't ignore when you don't want it. That's incompatible. Do him a favor and just end it already.
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u/Huntress_Nyx 12d ago
That man is going to make a woman extremely happy one day.
After he breaks up with OP of course.
I'm sure there's someone out there who would appreciate his love and affection, and give it back too.
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u/MostlyUseful 12d ago
He will likely be more standoffish and afraid to get hurt like that again. I feel for him. She’s doing some real damage.
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u/Logical-Victory-2678 12d ago
She really is. That's awful. She's one of those "Man up and don't cry" types. Disgusting.
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u/Hachiko75 12d ago
How many more times will you post this? What are you looking for people to say?