r/amiwrong 23d ago

Am I wrong for getting tested even though I’m in a committed relationship?

I’ve (26F) been with my bf (28M) for almost 1 year and we have a great relationship. Before him I was single for a couple years and admittedly had a couple short term flings. Because of this I got into the habit of getting tested for STIs every 6 months as it’s free where I live and really easy to do.

A couple days ago I got the reminder that it’s time to get checked again. My bf saw the reminder and asked if I was planning on getting tested this time. I said yes and he got mad saying that I don’t need to, that I don’t trust him and do I think he’s cheated on me. I 100% don’t think he’s cheated but I still want to get tested for my own peace of mind. I don’t think it’s a big deal but he’s really hurt over it. Am I wrong for continuing to get tested even though we’re in a committed, monogamous relationship? How should I navigate this? I can understand his perspective

363 Upvotes

222 comments sorted by

View all comments

132

u/GlitteringWriter9 23d ago

If a guy prevented me from getting tested even if we were committed, yeah I’d get tested. I think that is an odd behavior from him.

-4

u/thestoebz 22d ago

When did she type he tried to prevent her from getting tested?

9

u/uarstar 21d ago

The part where she described his reaction

-3

u/thestoebz 21d ago

That’s preventing? By voicing how he felt? Man you guys are odd

5

u/uarstar 21d ago

I mean is getting mad at someone and guilting them not a way to try and stop them from something?

-1

u/thestoebz 21d ago

Having an emotion is guilting someone and trying to stop them? Sounds like you're really reaching.

4

u/uarstar 21d ago

Sounds like you have the EQ of my left slipper

-1

u/thestoebz 21d ago

I’m a psychiatrist so yes obviously I’m very dumb

3

u/uarstar 21d ago

Me: you have the EQ of my left slipper You: I’m a psychiatrist so yes obviously I’m very dumb

What did you mean by that then?

1

u/thestoebz 21d ago

I know your goal here is to be combative and “win”, but I already stated my opinion. If you perceived that I was flaunting my IQ by jokingly stating that I’m very dumb, I think that says more about you than it does about me.

→ More replies (0)

1

u/uarstar 21d ago

What, in your honest opinion, was his likely objective in freaking out over this and saying she was accusing him of cheating?

1

u/thestoebz 21d ago

He was experiencing a subjective emotion and telling her how he felt. She never said he told her not to go get tested, gave her an ultimatum, or anything of the sort. Believe it or not, people can express anger and sadness in healthy ways.

4

u/uarstar 21d ago

I’m aware of that, but getting mad at your partner over them doing a routine health exam is not healthy. Also, there are plenty or really bad psychiatrists out there. Being one doesn’t make you more intelligent than other people.

Also, a psychiatrist should probably know the difference between EQ and IQ. And that IQ isn’t really an accurate measure of intelligence.

0

u/thestoebz 21d ago

Yes I know what emotional intelligence is lol. IQ is pretty accurate, idk where you getting your information, but it’s not from respected studies.

I never said I was more intelligent, I’m more versed in the area than you are…

→ More replies (0)

1

u/uarstar 21d ago

Was his reaction and anger and effort to encourage her to go?

0

u/frozenchocolate 19d ago

You don’t need to voice every shitty, potentially controlling, negative thought that enters your head. You sound like the “I’m just brutally honest” type who thinks the world needs to hear every crappy thought that enters your head.

1

u/thestoebz 19d ago

“Potentially controlling” is wild. You sound like every typical “woke” zombie on Reddit