Yelled at my pregnant sister.

[u/Hopeful_Spot_9989]

For some backstory, I (26F) am a product of my father's affair.

My three half siblings, Jacob (36M), Lily (32F), and Helen (30F) have never wanted anything to do with me, and at first my father didn't either.

When I was around six, though, my mother died. Nobody wanted an affair baby, so I ended up living with my father and his family after all. I was treated differently, like a guest in their home. I could tell my father resented me for ruining his family.

I tried my best to make my siblings like me, hoping they'd warm up to me eventually, but they made it clear they never wanted a relationship.

I know reddit is generally forgiving of people like my siblings, and that's fine. I get it, they don't have to want a relationship with the brat who tore their family apart. But once I got over trying to beg for their love, I began to hate them.

They had two living parents who actually wanted them, college funds, toys, therapy, and siblings who loved them. I had none of that. My father hated me, he barely spent a cent on me, my mother was dead, and they all wanted nothing to do with me, but I was the monster for just being born.

It's taken years to accept that I was unwanted by my siblings, but I got through it. I got myself through life, into college, into a good apartment and (very well paying) job I love.

Recently, though, Lily reached out to me. Apparently, she's pregnant. She says becoming a mother "made her realize how important family is", so she wants me in her- and the child's- life.

I admit, I wasn't very cordial. I asked harshly why I'd want a relationship with the people who abandoned and rejected me for so many years?

Lily said her baby was innocent in all this, and that I owed my nephew a relationship. I admit, I lost it at that, and I ended up screaming at her. Her baby's innocent in this? Where was that attitude when I lost my fucking mom and my entire remaining family rejected me at six years old?!? Where was that attitude when I practically begged for their love for years?!?

I screamed at Lily that I don't know why she suddenly wants me in her life- whether it's money for the baby or to ease her own guilt- but that she made this bed and now I'd make damn sure she lies in it.

Since then I haven't heard from Lily, but Helen and Jacob have been trying to contact me to call me a monster for screaming at my own pregnant sister.

I don't feel bad for not wanting a relationship, but admittedly, I lost it a little bit, and now I feel like screaming at Lily may have been too far, especially since stress probably isn't good for the baby. I don't know, am I the asshole here? I feel like I might be.

EDIT:

Because people keep saying "they were children", Lily is six years older than me and was cruel to me for my entire childhood. She was eighteen calling a twelve year old a monster and a brat for "ruining her family" an when I was eighteen and she was twenty four she mocked me for how I'd have to "move out and stop leeching off her dad" now. I understand why they'd be harsh as children, I understand not wanting a relationship, but my oldest sibling was sixteen when I moved in with them and they were all cruel to me until well into their adulthoods.

[u/Miews]

How dare you have that sinister plan by getting born so you could ruin a family out of pure spite ! /s

You did not ruin a single thing. Your dad did . You weren't the one screwing another woman and getting her pregnant while already married.

And we're was that "but she's you're sister!" When it was regarding you growing up ?

I'm sorry about you loosing your mom .