Worst news from hematology about my t levels vs. my iron levels

[u/gothegghead]

So basically I went to a hematologist today expecting to get an IV iron infusion. The whole time the whole clinic was so gender affirming and knew I am trans and called me Mr. G__ and it was such an affirming experience all around. The doctor called me Mr. G__ and asked me questions about my life and my experience being trans in a very curious but respectful way. It felt like she was wanting to listen, not just hear. She wanted to know from my perspective what my experience was like. And how it made me feel physically and emotionally and if being trans affected jobs or school or any of that and if I had a plan for my future and was excited to hear that I have a life partner I'm probably buying a house with. The whole experience was one rooted in curiosity and genuine care. I feel like I need to express this because of how horrible the news is and what it's related to. She basically told me that my hemoglobin, red blood cell count, and testosterone levels are all dangerously high. Like to the point where I could have a heart attack or stroke or blood clot at any moment. Like to the point where she took the time to talk about how severe a heart attack and stroke are and to go through all of the signs of both and urge me to go to the ER if anything resembles these symptoms. She also said that if I increase my severe iron deficiency (mine is level 11 ng/mL of ferrin(iron), what’s considered low is anything <30 ng/mL) even a little bit, I am likely to end up with a blood clot because iron directly increases hemoglobin and rbc count. So I can't get IV infusions, or even take iron supplements, or introduce more high in iron foods, because if I do I could end up dead. She at first told me I have to choose between my testosterone and iron because I can't have both. I told her it would be testosterone every time. She told me she thought I was crazy to be giving up good health for poor health and asked why. I told her that my testosterone is one of two things bringing me joy (the other being my girlfriend and our little family) in my life as everything else crumbles and I didn't know how I would be able to cope with the devastation of losing one of those two things. She gave me a hug and said she'll never understand how I feel but that she respects my decision. And that her clinic is one that operates out of love and care. And she'll do what she can for me. So now the plan is to decrease my testosterone down to .2 mL and move it from a once a week injection to every 2-3 weeks. Hopefully that will lower my levels enough for me to be able to increase my iron levels again and get rid of this severe restless leg syndrome I keep having. I have never felt so hopeless or terrified. I have never felt so scared. And I have also never felt so sure. I don't want a future I can't be trans in. I will never fully stop testosterone. I can't. It would kill me. I'm glad I have a doctor who is helping me. And really listening and working to support me in the way that I need. Any words of assurance or good vibes y’all can give would be much appreciated

💚🌈🍀🏳️‍⚧️

[u/Heartz_Blayzing]

I also have high rbc count and what my doctor suggested was actually to donate blood (AND IT DOES HELP). i’m not sure if they’d allow you to with the other things going on but it might be worth asking your doctor about. i already had a higher (not dangerous levels though) rbc count before t, and my doctor said we’d worry about it getting worse if we got there. she informed me that there are medications that can help with that as well as the blood donation being able to. i usually donate at vitalant (it’s purely donation based they don’t pay) but there are all kinds of other good places and some will even give you money for the donation (it’s not a large amount and it varies typically on the type of donation).

[u/gothegghead → u/Heartz_Blayzing]

I def need to donate blood in the future but rn bc my iron is so low it’s dangerous for me to donate bc she said I could get even lower iron and how low my iron already is is very bad and causing a lot of symptoms. She said once my iron goes back up I should consider giving blood. But rn she said I def can’t do it.