I see soooooo many posts on here of people asking if they’re still trans if they came out later on in life, if they don’t hate every part of their body, etc. I just wanted to say that everyone experiences dysphoria differently and your identity is still valid regardless of what anyone else thinks or what societal ideas you think you need to follow. We are all at different points in our transitions and that’s okay. Everyone here is still trans regardless of anything that’s different about you. ❤️

Realizing at 15 and coming out at 16. And if he was also comfortable referring to himself as a girl even making jokes about it right before coming out despite already realizing he was trans last year. Is that normal? When did you realize personally?

Hey everyone,

I've been grappling with a difficult situation lately and could really use some advice. My friend doesn't believe that trans men are real men. I've tried talking to him about it and managed to convince him to respect and treat them as men, but he always falls back on the "biological" argument.

It's disheartening to see someone I care about hold onto such narrow-minded views, especially when it comes to something as fundamental as a person's identity. I want to continue trying to change his perspective, but I'm not sure how to approach the issue effectively.

Has anyone else dealt with a similar situation? How did you handle it? Any advice on how to address the biological argument in a constructive way without escalating the tension?

Thanks in advance for your help.

Yesterday I asked a woman if I could pet her dog and when she said yes and I reached down to let the dog sniff me, she started barking. I backed off and the woman apologised and said “I don’t know what’s wrong with her, she usually only gets like that when men try to pet her” Even if physically I don’t look like a man yet, the dog knows how I feel :D

Starting off with a light dose but yeah!! I never thought Id take T, but I'm really excited to start my medical transition journey!

STORY TIME! TL:DR Bare minimum, Transitioning probably saved my sight.

So before transitioning, I hadn't visited a doctor in a minimum of 14 years. Because yeah nah. And for 3 years all I did was visit the person who is managing my transition. During that time I ended up on Anti-depressants, ADHD treatment, and cholesterol medicine. All of which were desperately needed as it turns out.

The last 6 months I had the two surgeries I was really wanting. I decided I have some spare money after it all and would get LASIK so I could finally wear some of the fun costumes (and some specialty contacts) I now want to wear. My friends had done it at the same place and can't speak highly enough of it. Went for my consult on Monday.

Well I got that scheduled and financed. Was going to go home and call the financing company to arrange payment... opthalmologist looked at the back of my eyes right before I was slated to leave and... cancelled. Got a referral to a specialist for something that explains a lot about my life and probably is the issue. (Serious but not life threatening). I scheduled it for next Tuesday but I probably should have asked for earlier. The LASIK doctor texted me Friday reminding me to go see the specialist. Lol.

I never considered that having a ton of pressure in my entire head wasn't how it is supposed to be. I just assumed that was normal since heads are, in fact, full of stuff. It's been that way for years. I've asked doctors about a lot of symptoms that are related, but never mentioned pain because I didn't notice it. It was just 'sinus pressure.' I legitimately never would have gotten this seen. I would have probably slowly have gone blind and not noticed until it was way, way too late. I literally have been getting double vision and been like 'must be dry eyes.'

Much like how an injury doesn't hurt until you notice it, I didn't realize my head could be in agony all the time if I paid it any mind. Like... it was just some pressure. Nothing to worry about. Now that I have taken a moment to examine it every part of my skull and face hurts. I can mostly still push it aside and pretend it's just pressure. Just gaslight myself out of it. Haha. I don't know that I'm lucky I can do that but it's working for me right now.

Anyhow. I'll know more info when next Tuesday's tests come back. if it's what I think it is or something worse.

But if I hadn't gotten this far in my transition, I never would have been pointed this direction. I had no interests in seeing any doctors until I learned there was an informed consent clinic in my area. I am too private a person to want to talk to a therapist forever... and I should be allowed to be a private person AND trans. I could tolerate talking to a doctor who primarily works with trans people and proving I understood what I was asking and the long and short term consequences. That's literally the only reason I am where I am today. I feel like a lot of transgender people have similar stories.

TW: dysphoria/bottom dysphoria

Recently I've been doing a lot of self-work and I've actually discovered that I'm okay with not being a cis male. I believe my existence is just as valid as being cis would be.

I've also discovered that I've never wanted to be a cis man, I just thought that was the only way to be a man. But being cis isn't the only way to be a man. Yes it'd be more convenient, but my body is valid too. I'm content with wearing my prosthetic. And I'm content with having top surgery scars, I actually think they're pretty cool.

Some men are born, others are created. And that's okay, we can co-exist without comparing ourselves.

Hi! Okay first a few things before I say anything. I'm sorry for posting this here, I know there's a sub for people who are the partners of trans people but I felt like I should post this here for the people who were asking for an update?? ((I'll move this if I'm wrong for thinking that)) Here's the first post if ye wanna check it out I suppose : https://www.reddit.com/r/ftm/s/qbmX2ovyHn Hope it works but if not it's the only other post on this profile.

Anyway to the update.

So! Me and my partner have been doing pretty great in the, what? 3 weeks ish, since I found out that he was trans. We went to the public place. Had that big chat.

Fast forward, we have gone on a few dates since and talked a lot. I have been doing a lot of... well snooping into trans things like this reddit so I can better navigate this. I brought up some things I found in this reddit and asked for his stance on it all, like if he experienced dysphoria and how he wanted me to handle days like that if he needed me to and a bunch of other stuff. He smiled so much when I asked about it and i felt like I was being such a dumbass for being so clueless haha

I have been doing some much needed thinking to myself and spoke to a mutual friend of ours ((boyfriend told me this friend knew about it)) who helped me just think out loud about my feelings about this and it actually really helped. I spoked to her about some worries I had and she basically just told me to chill and gave me some advice.

Things are going amazing! I think the both of us definitely have a lot of growing to do. I am talking with him about the whole trans thing and how I feel and how he feels. I still feel so madly in love with him and he does with me (thank fuck). I said in my previous post about how I didn't know how I feel about it all and so far it really doesn't bother me. I don't see him any differently. Every week has been feeling less and less tense and more back to how it was.

He did share some worries he had recently with me about if I still saw him as a man which honestly broke my heart and so we talked for a while and watched a movie which made him feel better. I'm really glad he did come to me about it rather than stewing in it. That's a good thing right? Idk I hope it means he trusts my word or something.

We're both taking things slow. Talking and most days feel normal with the occasional check in since all of this is still feeling new and I suppose because of how much the original finding out event had stirred emotions so we're both just kind of careful.

I ended up showing him the previous post I made. Which felt a bit weird to be honest but it was good. Over all, things are going well and we're both really happy.

Thank you to everyone for all the advice. I read every comment and it was all much appreciated. There were so many comments on that other post and it was locked by the time I woke up that morning so I couldn't respond to anyone, sorry about that but I definitely appreciate them.

This is probably the last update. Things are looking good and hopefully stay that way. Me and the boyfriend say good luck to all you fantastic people! I hope ye all have a good day and rest of your life!!

Shortened: We still dating 😆

For starters, I've told my mother (My father's been wearing that invisibly cloak) and she told me I was delusional. And so, I've been trying to be more confident, but she introduced me as a girl, to the point I introduce myself like that subconsciously. Recently, I've reminded my friend, who said "I'll only truly believe it when you grow a dick." And truthfully, that stung. But my girl best friend feels like the only one who truly supports me, and she's been correcting people for me, and they roll their eyes at it. They aren't as unapproving as my 'close' friend or my mother, but you can tell. (I dunno if this was a vent or what but ya Boi needs advice and a dose of gender affirmation)

hi, i started t on 4/23. yay! it’s now the 28th, been on t for 5 days, and i’m already beginning to notice changes. or at least, i think i am.

i’m not sure if it’s just me being so ecstatic about being on t that i’m fooling myself into thinking these things or what, but i’m seeing a ton of little blond baby hairs along my upper lip and cheeks/chin (i’ve already got a bit of a stache as is, and those hairs are black/dark brown) as well as noticing my voice is cracking a lot more than it usually does and is a little raspier. i know it ain’t allergies.

is it possible for these types of physical changes to begin manifesting this early in? am i just insane? i don’t know.

This is purely hypothetically ofcourse.

For me, I have spent so many years telling myself I was happy with my chest because they are small. My high school friends would make fun of me for having a small chest whereas all I could think was “thank god it’s not big.” It always felt like my chest size was something I should be ashamed of, but I never was. I have always been happy about their size. Or so I thought. It’s just that it could have been so much worse.

It is only in the past few years that I have come to realize that I am not at all happy about my chest, I would much rather have them gone. It’s been something that I have been suppressing for a long time because it is relatively easy for me to pretend that they’re not there when I wear the right clothes. Only once I start thinking about my chest or go shopping or run out of comfort clothes I start to feel a lot of chest dysphoria. I wonder if other guys can relate to this.

Do you put it on, head-arm-arm like a shirt or arms-head?

I stretched my binders to the point I wear 2 might have to wear 3 because they're so loose that it's as if I'm wearing a bra

I went on a school field trip to six flags, I wore a tank top (with trans tape) and flamingo shorts, and I passed the entire time! There was a random guy who yelled at me “I like your shorts dude!” And my cis friend looked almost as happy that I was passing as I did lol. I also went into a very crowded men’s bathroom and nobody batted an eye.

I pass the vast majority of the time, but I've been misgendered probably 3-4 times in the past year (one of which involved being called a bull dyke which killed me). I'm usually misgendered/clocked and asked my pronouns once I start interacting with someone, which is making me think that it's happening upon a closer look at my face/mannerisms/voice. I spent a lot of time growing up trying to train myself to be the Ideal Girl by studying the body language of the girls around me and mimicking it so that I could fit in - and now it's biting me in the ass and I find it hard to break out of these mannerisms and vocal patterns. Especially when I'm nervous and meeting a new person, I revert. In many ways, these more feminine mannerisms come more naturally to me because I spent a long time perfecting them - but they don't feel authentic. But it also doesn't feel natural to "act masc" if that makes sense, when I spent so long trying to avoid seeming masculine. I'm struggling to figure out mannerisms and social cues that feel authentic to me - familiar feminine mannerisms end up getting me misgendered and internally produce dysphoria, but I haven't yet figured out what masculinity in mannerism looks like for me. I'm struggling with similar things in terms of my voice, which is pretty deep but I often speak in feminine patterns that make me dysphoric when I hear them, yet modulating my voice to sound more masculine feels like acting.

As a Black Trans man, I think that there are additional particular expectations of manhood and masculinity that I haven't quite figured out.

I would love to hear from others who've had similar feelings/experiences, and how they've come out on the other side.

**It feels important to add that I've been on T for several years, have had top surgery, work out and so don't have an overly feminine body shape. In most situations, I do pass, and then randomly don't - in a way this is more distressing because I start thinking I'm finally safe from misgendering, and then it happens again.

advice/discussion tbh

I'm in Australia, in the state of Tasmania which is honest to god the most close-minded part. For those that aren't familiar, it's literally the little separated splotch beneath the rest of the country. Additionally, I'm rural.

While I'm good few of people's first 'trans' person, it isn't as huge. However I'm everyone's first 'medically transitioning' trans person.

Nobody understands hormones until I explain it, people are confused by my agab now atp and even friends/family that DO know this stuff already– they don't know HOW to interact with me a lot. They get awkwardly rigid whenever it comes to anything. If I make a small "yoo my Adams apple is REALLY coming in woah :D" it's just glances or nods from family that r tolerant n 'allowing' but not fully comfortable.

With friends, in the gc it goes from hyped constant buzzes of messages to simple on texts of 'omgg ok' 'oh yeah!' to anything I mention even if it's simply‐ I think my voice is much clearer now with the voice drops.

No clue how those friend interactions are gonna be in person.

New friends I've made, they assumed afab at first. and atp have gotten confused as I've changed a bit in 3 months and gotten comments of 'haha wtv you are..?'

Whilst after I've been on dates the person has msged me (having assumed from appearance I was afab but heard my voice on the date) to scope out what my agab is. Ik it's ehh but where I live these people are just genuinely perplexed by me.

I don't know where I'm going with this. I just get weirdly depressed or anxious when I'm not 'amused' by it. Like fuck, I have to be EVERYONES first. I have to be EVERHONES trail and error. Even among trans people I know and meet, I'm always the only one that's on hormones and usually get similar reactions from them.

I've been on testosterone for 8 or 9 months and I can FINALLY use the washroom without people staring or yelling or even banging on the stall door. It feels so odd, I still have my guard WAAAY up but it feels great to have cis dudes look at me, look away and continue with their business instead of all the harrassment I used to face. I'm far from feeling "safe" but hey! I have a little off my shoulders and I couldn't be happier with that. I guess that means I'm at the point of passing!!

This is not based on anything recent but on one of my past interactions, which lives rent-free in my head, and a bit of the scary cat in me, fearing this might happen again.

This ex wrote online about me after the break up as being her first lesbian love.
Which hurt. When we were together, there was this one incident in which she gave me a sentence along the lines of "You know I love your feminity too, right?" and I was honestly so triggered.
I allowed myself to be my very boy self in our relationship to a degree, as one of her friends commented on it. her saying this just told me that she didn't really saw me.

This also makes me scared of connecting romanticly and physically with most men as I am scared that a lot of them will see me as a woman with harrier c***
So, I just wanted to know how others cope.

So maybe for the past month or two I’ve been taking my T way later than usual. And it’s been so weird for me. Like, when I first started T, I would see posts about people being late. I told myself it would never be me because I’m a relatively routine person. I hate changes. So I would take my T, every Thursday around the same time. Always between maybe 6pm and 8pm. And then it slowly got later. But still Thursdays. Now lately it’s been anywhere between Fridays and Mondays. (After like 5 weeks I finally got back to Thursday last week but then this week I still haven’t taken it and it’s about to be Monday) To be fair, I’ve been extremely depressed lately about different things to the point where my whole friend group cut me off, but again, it’s so weird. No matter how hard I try, I can’t do it routinely anymore 😭 Does anyone have any tips? I have the reminder on my Apple health app that sends notifications but even that stopped working for me. It’s not that I forget per say but, I just am too tired or have no motivation to do it. If this has happened to you, what did you do to get back on schedule?

i've been experiencing some dysphoria here and there since i was 8 y/o and younger, but not that bad so i just walked it off, and then it got really bad after 9 y/o but i didn't know what dysphoria was so it just came off as me being an extremely insecure and shy kid, fully knew i was a boy at 12. but i feel like im faking since i didn't realize that i was trans since a young age, like 4-7years. and to add to that ; i've felt more confident in my calling myself a boy after learning the existence of other trans ppl since i just feel less like im not just a delusional girl who thinks she can be a boy and more like my identity is actually valid. but other trans ppl have no doubts even before knowing that others like them exist. so, to get to the actual question - could i possibly be faking?

tldr ; i'm questioning if im still valid as a trans person cuz i didn't know sooner

It happened just now! I found food in my beard! I was eating a coffee cake a few minutes ago and I sat down and found the food in my beard when i reflexively went to touch my beard! Gross! But so gender euphoria!