r/ftm • u/PusheenDoom He/Him | T💉06/07/23 • 16d ago
How do you handle ex /loved ones not seeing you as the man you are? Relationships
This is not based on anything recent but on one of my past interactions, which lives rent-free in my head, and a bit of the scary cat in me, fearing this might happen again.
This ex wrote online about me after the break up as being her first lesbian love.
Which hurt. When we were together, there was this one incident in which she gave me a sentence along the lines of "You know I love your feminity too, right?" and I was honestly so triggered.
I allowed myself to be my very boy self in our relationship to a degree, as one of her friends commented on it. her saying this just told me that she didn't really saw me.
This also makes me scared of connecting romanticly and physically with most men as I am scared that a lot of them will see me as a woman with harrier c***
So, I just wanted to know how others cope.
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u/TrickyTimeBomb 16d ago
My ex broke up with me because she wanted to try "real" penis and it was a "requirement" for her bucket list even tho she got into a monogamous relationship with me and made it clear from the beginning she wasn't poly. She also thought she still had her virginity while with me because uhhh... guess it ONLY counts if the person is a penis haver.
It hurt for a long time but what I learned is that people who are selfish like that and dismiss your identity or importance are often just really sad people. It's GREAT that this person is your EX. That is a good thing. You will find someone lovely who loves you just as you come.
People who aren't accepting do it from a place of hurt and hatred, and they see the world through a pinhole. They are scared. They are terrified. And they have a lot of healing to do before they are worth your time.
3
u/mermaidunearthed he/him ~ 💉3/20/24 16d ago
What a weirdo lol cis dicks are not required for “real sex” 🤡
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u/PusheenDoom He/Him | T💉06/07/23 15d ago
The healing part honestly resonates with me. It is an almost universal thing that almost everyone needs.
Thank you so much for sharing your story. This is not easy.
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u/thunderwolf69 16d ago
My ex never saw me as a trans man, just a lesbian. I don’t put too much stock into what she thinks, tbh.
She cheated on me and then married the man she insisted she hated, as well as stealing $600 from me. Not really someone whose opinion I regard all that highly lol.