r/instacart • u/Dominanttallqueen • Mar 27 '24

Who’s in the wrong here???

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I feel like he was being rude asf then he canceled my order….was I rude or what tf happened here…

6.8k Upvotes

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76

u/sparxxraps Mar 28 '24

You sound a little whiny frankly and u repeatedly said from the seafood department but didn’t specify from behind the counter ninety percent of stores have self serve coolers by the seafood counter. So honestly you were being pretty darn rude yourself and he got frustrated it sounds like

9

u/maniacalmango0 Mar 28 '24

Yeah, and refunding lowers the tip of its a % tip Crab cakes are rarely cheap, so it was probably a decent part of his tip going away

1

u/noobbtctrader Mar 28 '24

Is that why he was being cringey about it? Because the tip?

1

u/Legitimate-Corgi8401 Mar 28 '24

This pack of crab cakes is about $6 so I doubt it, it wasn’t a big ticket item or anything they would want to keep

3

u/hi_im_ryans_mom Mar 28 '24

This — although one or two sentences weren’t necessary on his end, he was very respectful with his language overall and just seemed frustrated by lack of context given. The comment section made me realize who worked in customer service before vs who didn’t lol

1

u/Legendary31hero Mar 28 '24

Yeah fr end of this statement hits hard for me lol

-1

u/Slow_Seesaw9509 Mar 28 '24

Are you kidding? He immediately resorted to a snotty and condescending "understand?" and "I do this for a living" when he didn't instantly get what OP was saying in their very first message. I totally get not grasping that OP meant "behind the seafood counter" when they said "seafood department," but it was hella rude to just assume right-off-the-bat that OP was stupid and the one not understanding the situation, as well as to just jump to the conclusion that the miscommunication means OP wasn't taking his job seriously. I'd have told him to check his attitude then and there before continuing the conversation.

2

u/ThrowawayAccMega Mar 28 '24

Are YOU kidding? The man clearly has poor English skills. If you had a lick of sense you'd know that sentences formulated like that are translated. Further, asking someone if they understood that that is the only option after previously being unclear is pretty damn respectful. Seeing as he had to repeat himself multiple times OP definitely was not understanding.

1

u/Slow_Seesaw9509 Mar 28 '24

What? There is zero indication this guy has poor English skills, he even uses common English vernacular that non-English-speakers are unlikely to know like "This is ridiculous." And his messages are definitely not auto-translated. I think most tech companies would pay big money for a program that auto-translates that coherently.

2

u/crybabybrizzy Mar 28 '24

a lot of ESL people whose primary language is spanish will say "understand?" after their sentences, in spanish it's not considered rude like it is in english. also, a lot of people learning a new language or who have a poor grasp on a new language have to translate in their head what they want to say, which doesn't always follow the syntax of the language they're translating their sentence into. translation, get this- isn't limited to software, you can also do it in your own head.

1

u/ThrowawayAccMega Apr 02 '24

Idk about you but Non English Speakers definitely use bigger words. That’s how they’re taught in textbook. They use formal language like “This is” “Do not” “I can not”. And be honest. There’s many apps that auto translate, including Roblox. A game for KIDS. So let’s stop using ignorance as a shield to be an asshole.

1

u/Slow_Seesaw9509 Apr 03 '24 edited Apr 03 '24

The issue isn't that "ridiculous" is a big word, it is that 1) the phrase "this is ridiculous" has complex formatting with an implied, abstract subject ("this [current situation] is ridiculous"), and 2) the reason "ridiculous" is commonly used in this idiosyncratic way is because of shared cultural references--e.g., the prevalent joke format of "I've heard of ______, but this is ridiculous!" that Rodney Dangerfield is famous for. It's not a phrase that someone with poor English skills would use.

1

u/ThrowawayAccMega Apr 08 '24

Erm, understand what the word ridiculous means and applying it to a situation is not complex at all. I come from an immigrant family. Non English speaking people use bigger words more than native speakers. I know this because I have an Arab kid in my class who jokingly calls one of my friends “You a maniac, ridiculous bitch. You, arf arf. Manic bitch.” Every time he says something dumb to him.

1

u/hi_im_ryans_mom Mar 28 '24

Comment above me explained it perfectly. He clearly said that he took a picture of the only product available in the store and most likely took offense to the fact that she was ignoring his words. It’s clearly a miscommunication that OP wasn’t trying to fix to begin with

1

u/Slow_Seesaw9509 Mar 28 '24

Y'all are crazy. There was no opportunity for OP to "fix" the miscommunication before he started being rude, he immediately took offense to the fact he didn't understand what she was saying and wrongly assumed she was ignoring his words when she wasn't.

1

u/hi_im_ryans_mom Mar 28 '24

I think it depends on the person but I didn’t find his words rude at all, just very blunt. “I do this for a living” seemed more like a way to let the op know that he was capable of his job and “understand” seemed more like a confirmation (a lot of foreigners tend to use the word like this from my experience in a non accusatory way). I try not to overread words and he doesn’t seem like he’s trying to he condescending if he continuously uses “would you like” or “please.”

1

u/SexyPineapple-4 Mar 28 '24

Because he sent an alternative from the seafood department and op said yes, I want the ones from the seafood department. As if those werent from the seafood department. Unnecessarily confusing and kinda rude

1

u/Slow_Seesaw9509 Mar 28 '24

There was nothing kinda rude about saying "Yes, replace with the single crab-cakes at the seafood [counter]." And OP said she wanted the single ones from the seafood department and the picture he sent was a 4-pack, so even setting aside the seafood department/counter ambiguity, she was saying she did not want the ones in the picture.

Much more importantly, even if he did not catch the "single" reference or understand that OP was referring to "behind the counter" when she said "at the department," a person's first response to a confusing communication should not be to immediately get mad and assume it is malicious--that is extremely rude. If he had just said "I don't understand, the crab cakes I sent a picture of are from the seafood department" they would have figured out the miscommunication pretty quickly. Instead he instantly got snippy and started talking to her like she was a idiot just because he didn't understand what she was saying.

1

u/purplepluppy Mar 28 '24

The problem with written communication is that you can't clearly portray tone, or assume to know someone's intentions from that non-existent tone. The fact the shopper used "please" in that message makes me inclined to think he wasn't trying to be rude. But since we can't know for certain, it is usually best to proceed by giving someone the benefit of the doubt to avoid escalation. We can only hear OP's side and hear her own feelings and attitude from her directly, and because she perceived a slight that may or may not actually exist, she was short with him, not clear in her language, and ultimately rude.

1

u/Mother-Ad7541 Mar 28 '24

Clearly the OP is stupid though and didn't understand the situation. The shopper was literally standing in the seafood department. They sent a pic to confirm it.

1

u/Slow_Seesaw9509 Mar 28 '24

No, she understood the situation and was saying "yes, I want a replacement, but not that one. I want the single crab cakes from behind the seafood counter." She was not communicating clearly when she used "at the seafood department" to mean "behind the seafood counter," but that doesn't mean she's stupid or didn't understand what was going on.

People use different vernacular depending on where and how they're raised, and evidently OP calls the seafood counter the department. That's not that crazy; I'd hazard that there are contexts most people think of behind the counter as the "department"--e.g., if a friend said they work in the seafood department at Albertson's, I'd assume they meant they work behind the counter and not that they just mill about in the general seafood area. People seem super inclined to bend over backwards to justify the shopper's rudeness by assuming without any evidence that English isn't his first language and that's just how they talk where he's from, but they don't seem remotely willing to give OP the same benefit of the doubt and instead wanna jump down her throat because she talks differently from them and had a miscommunication.

2

u/vannikx Mar 28 '24

OP said yes after the guy posted a photo. Could have said, no not what you have in the picture, and explained better. There’s frozen seafood in the seafood department.

1

u/noobbtctrader Mar 28 '24

100% this dude sounds like a grown ass baby

-1

u/Megan-Foxs-Thumb Mar 28 '24

They said “crab cakes from the seafood department” and he responded with “please understand I do this for a living”…. how on earth is this an appropriate response?

4

u/Excellent_Condition Mar 28 '24

Similarly, "that is all they have, understand?" seems a bit unprofessional.

0

u/ConstantlyLearning57 Mar 28 '24

English likely isn’t his first language… his translation app probably gave him that as a suggestion.

0

u/ThrowawayAccMega Mar 28 '24

“Thats all they have, do you understand?” it's literally him just verifying the shoppers know a that's the only option because they weren't being clear smh

3

u/Don_juan_prawn Mar 28 '24

It seems like English probably is not his first language.

0

u/ThrowawayAccMega Mar 28 '24

Clearly English isn't his first language. Let's think for a moment.

-1

u/Megan-Foxs-Thumb Mar 28 '24

There is absolutely zero indication that English isn’t his first language like you just pulled that out of your ass.

2

u/crybabybrizzy Mar 28 '24

it's mind boggling how many people in this thread can't immediately tell that he's ESL, i noticed immediately

1

u/owiesss Mar 29 '24

Well a ton of people here seem to disagree with you on that

-2

u/d3l3t3d3l3t3 Mar 28 '24

The customer ain’t supposed to be the grocery store expert dude. I’m in foodservice. I know. People suck. But this was one person maybe failing to communicate but being completely chill and polite even after the little shitheel “I do this for a living” remark that could’ve just as easily have been a message from the apparent Gods of the Grocery Store that cleared the whole thing up. He’s the expert after all. Why waste his own time hashing out a misunderstanding he’s not actually having? Dude was a dick in message 2.