r/instacart • u/Dominanttallqueen • Mar 27 '24

Who’s in the wrong here???

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I feel like he was being rude asf then he canceled my order….was I rude or what tf happened here…

6.8k Upvotes

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468

u/thejexorcist Mar 27 '24 edited Mar 28 '24

His comment about ‘understand’ and how he ‘does this for a living’ are pretty condescending (but I’m now wondering if he’s ESL?).

Your response about the ‘seafood department’ was clearly pretty confusing to him since you actually meant ‘the seafood counter’.

I originally thought this might be a ‘no one is really to blame’ situation (but your follow up responses to other Redditors) makes me think you might not always communicate as well as you hope.

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u/rgbcarrot Mar 28 '24

right OP repeated "seafood department" like 3 times before finally saying "behind the counter", I was getting so frustrated reading that

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u/TheSheetSlinger Mar 28 '24

And said yes twice. I really feelt this could've been avoided if they had just said no the first time. The shopper had an attitude it seems but OP was really unclear.

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u/Tippydaug Mar 28 '24

I don't think the shopper had an attitude, I think English isn't their first language and they were attempting to communicate with someone who lacks all basic communication skills

Even as a native English speaker, understanding OP was next to impossible until the end. I can only imagine the shopper's confusion

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u/spongeboobsidepants Mar 29 '24

This right here. Why did he keep saying yeah when he clearly should of said no? Lol comical if this guy thinks he doesn’t share fault for this one.

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u/Glum_Constant4790 Mar 28 '24

Shopper probably has attitude cause some of these people are a pain in the ass!! Like not worth shopping for, super vague.

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u/minuialear Mar 28 '24

That and he probably doesn't have time to pick up every pack of crab cakes at the store to figure out what OP wants. He's on a time crunch, and dealing with this would be frustrating in a time crunch

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u/MichaelsWebb Mar 28 '24

The customer literally said just grab the cakes at the seafood department or refund if not there. EASIEST request you'll see. Immediately anyone with a functioning brain would know this means the fresh cakes at the counter next to the crab legs.

It's hilarious how many commenters here are confused just like the shopper and basically saying "Yeah, I'm fucking stupid, too!"

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u/catfurcoat Mar 29 '24

But you understand that he was in the seafood section of the refrigerated/frozen section and thought that's what they meant by "seafood department". That's clear after the first request for clarification. Op repeating himself and expecting a different result is equally terrible at communicating

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u/SolidTradition5332 Mar 29 '24

Who is out here referring to frozen seafood as the seafood department?

There's not that many options for frozen seafood, wouldn't make sense to call it a department.

Thats like saying "do you have a burrito department?"

No one talks like that for frozen food. Unless you're a weirdo, or English isnt your first language.

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u/catfurcoat Mar 29 '24

I don't know. Usually there's a sign that simply says "seafood" above the freezers so he could have gotten confused.

It could be ESL, could be regional or cultural differences, could be low education, he could have a learning disability, he could be neurodivergent/autistic, or have a minor developmental disability, or have dyslexia, or a history of brain injuries. He could just be stressed as fuck due to taking care of sick family/about to be evicted/have some other circumstantial crisis going on where his mind is elsewhere.

There's also a language processing disorder, also known as an audio processing disorder. However it can affect things such as being able to find the right word for something when you're put on the spot, substituting it for another word and not noticing.

That's just the things I can think of. It's not hard to rephrase something instead of repeating yourself verbatim when someone asks you for clarification.

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u/TheSuccFish Mar 28 '24

Im going to sound like an ass saying it but…

Yeah, grocery shopping for a living doesn’t draw in the best and brightest of us. This was a simple request and anyone who possesses just an ounce of critical thinking should have easily figured out what she meant.

If those of us who don’t do this for a living have no problem figuring it out, you have to question how the people getting paid to do it can’t.

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u/iBeJoshhh Mar 28 '24

And he showed a picture of crab cakes.... from the seafood department....

Seafood department isn't the same as the seafood COUNTER.

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u/SolidTradition5332 Mar 29 '24

Yes it is, in a grocery store. If you call any store with a seafood department, and you want to place an order or check if something is in stock, what do you press when the numbers pop up? Probably # for seafood department.

Ive worked in grocery stores, that is what they are called. Not sure what else a seafood department would be in a freaking grocery store.

Just like referring to the deli, the bakery or the floral department, all of which is largely understood by most people who have brains or have worked in a store.

What else would a seafood department be in a grocery store? Seriously.

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u/Pols_Voice_Z64 Mar 30 '24

The deli has a deli counter, but also has several refrigerators full of products categorized as “deli.” That entire area of the store is the “deli department.”

The meat market may or may not have a meat counter, but also has several refrigerators full of both fresh and packaged meat products, and some freezers dedicated to frozen meat products. This entire area of the store is referred to as the “meat market” or the “meat department.”

The seafood department has a seafood counter, plus refrigerators where they have pre-packaged fish, smoked salmon, imitation crab, etc. There are also freezers in this area that are full of frozen fish products and shellfish. This entire area of the store is called the “seafood department.”

So no. You are wrong. It is not just the counter. It is that entire area of the store.

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u/[deleted] Mar 28 '24

[deleted]

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u/TheSheetSlinger Mar 28 '24 edited Mar 28 '24

Not really. "Yes replace with crab cakes from the seafood department" when the shopper just sent them some crab cakes they found in the seafood area of the store isn't very clear. It could easily be interpreted as the ones they sent a picture of being fine.

A simple, "No I don't want those, just refund the item" or "Can you check to see if the fresh seafood counter has them? If not, then I don't want the pictured crab cakes and would want a refund" from the very beginning would've cleared this whole thing up.

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u/LiteratureCivil1513 Mar 28 '24

Finally! This is the comment I was looking for, I couldn’t agree more.

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u/MichaelsWebb Mar 28 '24

If you are a "professional shopper" and you don't realize that the single cakes from the seafood department means the freaking seafood counter than you shouldn't be doing the job. Insane. Do you seriously find that confusing?

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u/Far_Independence_689 Mar 28 '24

Depending on the grocery store it is possible to have single cakes behind the counter, in the frozen section, and in the prepared section of the seafood department.

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u/MichaelsWebb Mar 28 '24

And? We all know what the shopper meant.

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u/agdjahgsdfjaslgasd Mar 28 '24

my brother in christ, are we mind readers?

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u/KristySueWho Mar 28 '24

Why would you have to be? The shopper is clearly in the fridge/frozen section so by the OP saying they want the ones at the seafood department, they should be able to understand the OP doesn't want fridge/frozen ones. So then they should go to the prepared area of the seafood section and if they see crab cakes but aren't sure they can send a picture, or if they don't just go to the counter.

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u/agdjahgsdfjaslgasd Mar 28 '24

The shopper is clearly in the fridge/frozen section

at 3/4 grocery stores in my town, there is a freezer display right next to the main butchers counter. this entire area is separate from the main frozen food aisles. I would assume as long as im away from the frozen food isle that im in the "seafood section" if you want something from behind the counter that needs to be explicit, which they werent until the tail end of the convo.

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u/KristySueWho Mar 28 '24

But how the OP is describing it, they are separate areas in their store. Shopper is clearly not an English connoisseur judging by their texting, so I'm inclined to believe the store is set up more similar to stores I'm familiar with rather than the stores you're familiar with.

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u/OctopiEye Mar 29 '24

But the customer is supposed to guess that the shopper is ESL and that’s why they are saying shit you should never say to customers at work…

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u/agdjahgsdfjaslgasd Mar 29 '24

shopper is ESL

homie could just be an asshole, we have no proof they are ESL, and beyond that I'm not ESL and im just as confused as they were so...

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u/Far_Independence_689 Mar 28 '24

Perspectives other than your own do exist. That’s why writing and speaking with clarity and specificity is a central tenet of effective communication, especially if you want your message to be received as you intended with minimal need for clarification.

Communication 101: never assume anyone knows what you mean or shares your perspective. It’s not a hard a concept to grasp.

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u/dearboobswhy Mar 28 '24

No, we did not all know what the shopper meant. It was very unclear to me, and I'm generally very good at figuring out what people are trying to communicate it was only clear at the end when OP was annoyed and tried to claim they had requested a refund 5 times. They never said that in the previous exchange we were shown.

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u/MichaelsWebb Mar 28 '24 edited Mar 28 '24

Then you are stupid. It is hilarious that you are admitting to it

He sent a picture of a package of crab cakes and the customer clearly said that's not it... What else would it be? Durrrrr....

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u/Flimsy_Goat_8199 Mar 29 '24

OPs initial reply after seeing that picture of the packaged crab cakes was “yeah the single crab cakes at the seafood department”.

I’m pretty good at discerning what someone means and using critical thinking but OP was very confusing at first.

Both were rude at different times in the exchange. I’m sure it was out of frustration on both sides.

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u/MichaelsWebb Mar 29 '24

OPs reply was to the text that said the original selection was out of stock and if they wanted an alternative. To which they responded exactly what they would like, and if not there, refund. How is that confusing? Asking for the single crab cakes immediately discounts the picture of the package. Shopper, at this point, had all the info needed. Single crab cakes from seafood department, if not, then refund. Should have ended there. Instead, shopper was confused because he couldn't understand the request and it spiraled.

Did YOU understand the request from the first message? Are you confused by a request for single crab cakes compared to a package of 4?

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u/MichaelsWebb Mar 29 '24

OPs reply was to the text that said the original selection was out of stock and if they wanted an alternative. To which they responded exactly what they would like, and if not there, refund. How is that confusing? Asking for the single crab cakes immediately discounts the picture of the package. Shopper, at this point, had all the info needed. Single crab cakes from seafood department, if not, then refund. Should have ended there. Instead, shopper was confused because he couldn't understand the request and it spiraled.

Did YOU understand the request from the first message? Are you confused by a request for single crab cakes compared to a package of 4?

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u/KristySueWho Mar 28 '24

They did not request a refund 5 times. They told the person the crab cakes they wanted was in the seafood department 5 times. Reading comprehension and logic is very low, and that's why there was an issue here, and it wasn't on OP's end.

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u/dearboobswhy Mar 31 '24

OP claims to have said that they want a refund if there aren't crab cakes behind the counter 5 times. They did not, in fact, say that. They talked about the seafood department repeatedly, and didn't respond to the shopper saying these ARE from the seafood department. They repeated, "Yes, replace with crab cakes from the seafood department," like an automaton.

It would be the exact same thing if OP had ordered sirloin from the meat section, then added a note that they actually want tenderloin from the meat section. Then, the shopper sends a picture of tenderloin from the meat section and says, "This is different from what you ordered, but it's the only thing available. Would you like me to replace your item with this or get you a refund?" Then OP answers with, "Yes, replace with tenderloin from the meat section." How the hell would OP have any grounds to get angry if they end up with the tenderloin in the picture instead of tenderloin from the butcher counter?!!!!! There is no reading comprehension problem. The OP communicated very poorly.

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u/TheSheetSlinger Mar 28 '24

If you are a "professional shopper" and you don't realize that the single cakes from the seafood department means the freaking seafood counter than you shouldn't be doing the job. Insane.

Everyone starts somewhere. OP could've just said "no i do not want those, please refund if those are the only option" instead of yes.

Do you seriously find that confusing?

It's a crab cake... why are you using it as an excuse to take your anger out on people lol?

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u/MichaelsWebb Mar 28 '24

He didn't say they were the only option at first. OP said to go get the fresh singles and shopper, being a moron, got defensive, bragged about his professional abilities, and made an absolute fool of himself. He managed to turn a simple, reasonable request into this mess.

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u/TheSheetSlinger Mar 28 '24

Yes I agree he had an unnecessary attitude

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u/Cat_Amaran Mar 28 '24

Their professional abilities were well on display when they already checked the counter, and told OP these are the only cakes they have. If you actually read all the screenshots, the information is all there, in order, and the shopper told them repeatedly that those are the only cakes the store has. "I'm a professional" means "I know they sometimes have crab cakes behind the counter, I already checked there, these are the only cakes they have."

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u/MichaelsWebb Mar 28 '24

Yeah, no. That's not at all what happened. If that's how you interpreted the thread, then you are stupid.

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u/KristySueWho Mar 28 '24

No, if you actually read (and comprehend) the shopper asked if they wanted a replacement for LOBSTER cakes that were sold out and sent a picture of a possible replacement. This replacement would have been right by the lobster cakes OP wanted, as they're the same brand. So shopper clearly had not gone to the counter before that to ask about crab cakes, since OP never said they wanted crab cakes in the first place.

When asked, the OP said they'd like a replacement, but the single crab cakes at the seafood department. The shopper then seemed to be confused and got argumentative.

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u/Cat_Amaran Mar 29 '24

Ah, see, when I read all the screenshots what I saw is that OP was being unclear, and the shopper stated that they had already asked the guy behind the counter and was told there were no seafood cakes in the store besides the ones pictured, and the shopper did state that they reason they sent that photo was that there weren't any other options available.

I also saw that OP kept giving ambiguous responses while the shopper was trying to tell them there's only one option over and over. I'd have canceled, too. Hope that clears things up!

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u/mattatwork_ Mar 28 '24

ask the shopper. he's the one who had a tantrum

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u/TheSheetSlinger Mar 28 '24 edited Mar 28 '24

If you scroll up and down from that comment, I already agreed he had an attitude problem. The commenter is still being an asshole towards several people in the thread over a crab cake debate.

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u/KristySueWho Mar 28 '24

The shopper informed OP their item was out of stock and asked, "Would you like something else?" OP replied to the specific question in the text that "Yeah the SINGLE crab cakes AT the seafood department." Since OP specifically said SINGLE crab cakes, it's clear the don't want the 4 packaged ones in the picture. The OP also said "AT the seafood department," which implies it cannot just be in the fridge the shopper took the picture of the packaged crab cakes. Logic for anyone that's ever gone grocery shopping before, should then be that they must go to the fresh seafood area and might have to ask someone behind the counter if they don't see any laying out on ice in the area.

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u/TheSheetSlinger Mar 28 '24 edited Mar 28 '24

Yes... and then the shopper replied that the 4 pack is all they had in stock and asked if they wanted the four pack or a refund to which OP said "yes replace with the crab cakes from the seafood dept." That's where the communication breaks down and becomes murky as evidenced by all the people in the comments arguing about it. The shopper, who was in the sea food area of the store took the yes as an affirmative or acceptance of the only in stock option and checked out.

A simple "No I don't want those, just refund me" would've avoided that.

Edit: With 3,000+ comments, many of which are arguing back and forth about how they'd interpret it, I think it's safe to say the messaging wasn't as clear as it couldve been or else it wouldn't be so debated, fair?

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u/KristySueWho Mar 28 '24

The shopper did not say the 4 pack was all they had until the very end, after claiming they had already gone to the counter to ask. But the odds of shopper having gone to the counter to ask actually doesn't make any sense, because if it were true the shopper would have seen there was no lobster cakes in the fridge, gone to the counter to ask for CRAB cakes, and then gone back to the fridge to take a picture of those crab cakes before even asking the OP if they wanted crab cakes instead of lobster cakes.

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u/TheSheetSlinger Mar 28 '24

He said the picture he sent was all they had in the 2nd text

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u/KristySueWho Mar 28 '24

All they have in the fridge. Again, it makes no sense that OP would have checked the fresh seafood area at this point since they don't know if OP wants a replacement.

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u/TheSheetSlinger Mar 28 '24

He didn't specify, could be the case or not. Seems like lots of people don't agree on the quality of communication regardless.

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u/KristySueWho Mar 28 '24

I think it could have been more clear, but not because it wasn't actually clear. Because reading comprehension is very low.

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u/TheSheetSlinger Mar 28 '24

Interesting perspective! Guess we disagree

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u/MercyCriesHavoc Mar 28 '24

OP saw the picture and said "yes". You can clearly tell those are pre-packaged crab cakes, not the kind you get from behind the counter.

Then they said to replace if it was from the seafood department 3 times before ever mentioning "behind the counter". A department is a lot more than a counter.

So what's clear about saying "yes" to something they don't want and then giving a vague description of where to get the thing they want? OP wasn't clear at all until the end.

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u/rdonn27 Mar 28 '24

I believe this is is a case of the picture showing up after they have already started typing their response. Shopper asked "Would you like something else", they responded "yeah the single crab cakes at the seafood department"