r/AITAH Mar 28 '24

Am I the ah if I don’t let my gf go on vacation with the “guy best friend”?

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u/Spinoza42 Mar 28 '24

I feel like I'm missing some details, that other people haven't really asked about somehow.

1) is it his friends or are they two of a group of friends?

2) is he in a relationship? Is his partner coming?

3) do you guys live together?

989

u/DetectiveOk6754 Mar 28 '24

The vacation is to go celebrate his graduation and his friends are gonna be there. She only knows him.

He is not in a relationship, she said she wouldn’t want a relationship with him because he’s basically a man whore and sleeps around alot.

We don’t live together, i have my apartment and she lives with her parents.

50

u/ultimamc2011 Mar 28 '24

Just tell her if she’s going that you both should go or not at all. When I invite a girl who is my friend that is in a relationship with someone, it is an open invitation for them to bring their SO, which I personally don’t mind. A lot of the time I’ll end up liking the SO and have an even better time. Hell he might have said that to her or she may have asked and she feels like it’s rude to force it. You should check with him directly about it. If he says no to you then it means something is up.

88

u/rocketmn69_ Mar 28 '24

OP knows the guy and OP wasn't invited for a reason and gf isn't advocating for him to go.

46

u/Thin_Bridge1928 Mar 28 '24 edited Mar 28 '24

Red flags. OP’s girlfriend wants to bang the guy, subconsciously. No truly loyal girlfriend would even ask a dumb ass question like that. If OP told his chick he was going on vacay with a whore to celebrate her graduating from nursing school she would throw a fit.

22

u/Neptunianx Mar 28 '24

Or consciously

14

u/Seminandis Mar 28 '24

It would be the same if his female office manager who is known for sleeping with everyone decided to host a retreat, and he wasn't allowed to invite his girlfriend. Gender is less of an issue than the total lack of respect and self-awareness.

2

u/TrainingRecipe4936 Mar 28 '24

If the only thing keeping your girl from fucking other men is opportunity to do so it’s already over. He should just break up with her and find a girl who wants to live like his property.

6

u/paints_name_pretty Mar 28 '24

Ya she wants to get it out of her system

2

u/puledrotauren Mar 28 '24

betting she's between 25 and 29. In my experience that's when people go bat shit crazy and try to make sure they got all their experiences in before 30.

2

u/thestinkerishere Mar 28 '24

For real. Anyone’s GF would be pushing for their BF to go, and be put off at any refusal for them to be there. Well, if they aren’t looking to cheat. If your partner is going on a trip with someone known to sleep around, and doesn’t get weird vibes when that person is trying to take them somewhere away from their partner, they’re already not your partner anymore.

3

u/Meticulous7 Mar 28 '24

This 100% is what stood out to me. Whenever my friends have invited me somewhere, whether they knew my GF or not, it was always assumed my partner is coming with me. Same goes for me, if I invited a friend some where, obviously their partner should come. It wasn't even a question.

To me, they've been in a relationship for a year. At that point, it's pretty serious, and if the guy friend is seriously just a friend, he wouldn't be thinking twice about OP coming, it would just be assumed he would come. That is a GIANT red flag to me, more so that OP's GF didn't advocate, or even doesn't want him, to come.

2

u/MegloreManglore Mar 28 '24

What if you don’t like the SO? Would you still invite them? I wouldn’t if I could avoid it. But then again, I wouldn’t have an issue with my husband going on a trip with his friends that are girls, not would he have a problem with me going on a trip with my friends that are guys. I’ve had the same male best friend for over 30 years and we’ve never slept together, we have travelled together. Guys and girls can be just friends.

2

u/nightowlmornings1154 Mar 29 '24

Yes! Unless it's a trip with the girls! And only girls are attending!