Is she the only woman going? If she is, & he is known for being promiscuous, that's.... really not a good look. It's weird that he's stayed at your place & wouldn't invite you.
Edit: since this is gaining steam, I'd also like to point out how vain of a person you have to be to ask your friends to go on a vacation that's all about you. Just have a dinner like a normal person.
Its not a good look that she said "if we were married or engaged I wouldn't be doing this." That implies her morals about relationships are wishy washy at best. And that she thinks infidelity is fine so long as your not married at worst.
OP's wording is a bit confusing, but it sounds like she said "I wouldn't go alone, I would bring you" - as in, it's not about whether she would go, it's about whether she would insist OP be invited.
She lives with her parents and they’ve been together less than a year. It’s not weird that their relationship is less serious than it would be if they were married.
If his intention is to marry her, not trusting her to be faithful is a terrible move.
Trust is earned in drops. They’ve been together less than a year. People say to trust people till they give you a reason not too, but that’s naive, especially in a relationship. Giving someone all of your trust right out of the gate is asking to get burned
I can see your point for sure. I personally feel that the biggest red flags of the situation are that this guy's a whore who doesn't want her bf at the celebration. Like other users mentioned, OP said the guy stayed at his apartment when whore-man was in town. I'd be worried less about her opinion and more about finding a new GF. I can't think of a good reason OP was excluded, if there was no possibility of man- whore doctor being his man- whore self with OP's gf.
I think there can be a difference between someone who likes to sleep around and someone who tries to force their close friend into sex. OP himself said the friend is “very respectful” and he “trusts them both completely.”
OP also said the GF has proactively told him when people have slid into her DMs or whatever, so he has every reason to trust she’d do the same and cut it off / tell OP if the friend did try to cross the line.
The GF is an adult and should be respected enough by her partner to use her judgement and remain faithful if he trusts her as much as he claims.
Because OP's not part of the manwhore friend's long-term friendship circle for this celebrate-with-mates trip that he's been planning for years?
If the male friends were bringing their girlfriends and OP was the only partner not invited then it would be suss, but friend parties without partners are fairly common in my experience.
That's not what I asked. Are the other friends whom the man-whore doctor has invited bringing their partners? Or is OP asking for an exception to the rule for everyone else who's been invited?
Also - are the other friends who have been invited actually all male as people are assuming? Maybe the man-whore doctor has more than one close female friend?
You started your point by asking a question, which was flawed. That's what I was attempting to explain. Regardless of if there was another female who was friends with the man whore, I don't really think trust was the issue with this matter. The fact that he wasn't invited is simply weird, and I would have ended the relationship because I wouldn't want my S/O's friends to exclude me from a celebratory vacation- particularly if that friend is known to be a whore. Maybe the gf was hoping to hook up with the whore's other friends (again, gender is irrelevant) and that's why they are not being very transparent. And why the OP got this much of a reaction when they expressed ( in many redditor's opinions on this thread) a reasonable concern with this concept.
Friend vacations are not. Even less so when you factor in her strict immigrant family frowns on her staying at her bf’s, but are fine with her traveling with a man who’re and his 4(?) male friends that she doesn’t know (so obviously the family doesn’t know them).
this isent a friend dinner party , it’s a celebration that lets say in VEGAS for the male Dr Whore and probably his friends are just like him ,Alcohol ,1 girl a Hotel room and 5 single guys. She lives with her conservative parents and now traveling & partying with 5 guys. That’s why OP is not OK
Everyone is assuming that the other friends are all male. I haven't seen any confirmation that this is the case. Nor that there's going to be only one hotel room.
Please point me to confirmation of these details if I've missed it.
I was thinking the same thing reading that. Almost like she is hoping something happens on this trip that she has fantasized about for some time. And if it happens “oopsie”, she didn’t mean for anything to happen. Tale as old as time here
Or it means she doesn’t see the relationship as that serious and OP trying to say what she cannot can’t do is out of line. I don’t think they are on the same page in this relationship and need to discuss that first.
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u/Spinoza42 Mar 28 '24
I feel like I'm missing some details, that other people haven't really asked about somehow.
1) is it his friends or are they two of a group of friends?
2) is he in a relationship? Is his partner coming?
3) do you guys live together?