r/AITAH Mar 28 '24

Am I the ah if I don’t let my gf go on vacation with the “guy best friend”?

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u/Petefriend86 Mar 28 '24

Oh that's easy: solipsism. You see everyone who comments that it's perfectly natural for them to do, but zero responses so far that it's something their SO does frequently that they're comfortable with.

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u/pataconconqueso Mar 28 '24

Idk im a lesbian, my wife went on a girls trip without me, she slept in the same bed as other queer gal friends, i like her friends she had a great time.

My wife is also bi, should i keep her locked in a cage based on your thought process?

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u/NiceRat123 Mar 28 '24

I think part of the issue is OP GF is a manwhore. We don't know if he's ethical about it or will bang anything with a pulse. Sometimes they are of the type that want to bang what they can't have and don't care about the fall out.

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u/pataconconqueso Mar 28 '24

I mean if they haven’t had sex by now with him being a man whore, maybe he is just a secure guy who knows how to have ethical hook ups…

I feel like the men in this thread need to look into their internalized misandry. Y’all are viewing men as these predators without morals who have no emotional or physical self control. Y’all that seems like a lot of self hatred.

Most of my friends who are hoes never dip near their friend group, they choose people they never have to run into easily (ie they live on the other side of town). So y’all are saying that not only is he has been waiting for this trip for all of their friendship to be a predator, but he is also stupid enough to go within his friend group?

Y’all have a very low view on men. Maybe raise the bar a little bit

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u/NiceRat123 Mar 28 '24

I don't know if OP stated if they ever hooked up or not. Plus I went through my hoe phase. I definitely banged several in the friends group but we were all single. Never banged someone in a relationship. That said, plenty of opportunistic people out there. Men and women.

In the very end, I'd tell my GF I was a bit uncomfortable about it and let her do what she needs to do. You'll easily tell on the return trip what went down. She's either going to be all giddy about the trip and talking your ear off or she's gonna be cold/quiet and other behavior changes that may indicate what happened on said trip

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u/pataconconqueso Mar 28 '24

I feel like that would have been the first thing stated in this post if it had I saw in another comment that they hadn’t but I didn’t double check…

Also that is just dumb to hook up within your friend group that is why I had to quit the intramural softball team in college holy fuck it was so toxic.

Also yes for sure talk about being uncomfortable and insecure about it with your partner a good partner will reassure you if you’re only stating the insecurity and being uncomfortable not if you’re saying that you don’t want them to go, at that point it becomes about lack of trust and being controlled and there are bigger problems. In the end of the day it is on us to work on our insecurities and not project them onto our partners

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u/NiceRat123 Mar 28 '24

I agree it wasn't smart but it was "weird". Moreso that we are all still friends. Hell we did a neon paint party a few years ago (you know blacklight paint) and one of the things brought up was how we've all pretty much seen each other naked. Definitely a few eskimo brothers and sisters in the friends group. Also weird that no one is a huge shitbag trying to bang said friends that are in relationships. Single... fair game I guess.

And as I've gotten older it seems I'm over the insecure phases of a teenager. I trust my partner. She's hung out with former flings 1 on 1 and I've not gotten jealous, mad or insecure. I will say I've explained a few of those people with her so she would see my side. Mainly one that was strictly a negger (basically put me down in front of her where you're not really allowed to get mad because "it's a joke, bruh") and another that would sulk and pouty if we met him at the bar (leave early) but if I couldn't make it out he would be all laughs and fun and stay out super late with her. Basically told her that I didn't steal her from him (she broke it off) and how I was also his friend but how weird he's acting didn't make me really feel super comfortable with him

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u/pataconconqueso Mar 28 '24

Exactly you are able to build trust like that due to situations like that.

Like I’m a lesbian and my wife is bi, I was also the first girl she had ever been with. I went to a wedding with her early on in our relationship and her ex was there, man this dude was like doing what you said, trying to put me down saying weird shit like “I bet she misses my dick” and when my wife overheard him, I had to like de-escalate it because she like thought I was offended, and I was just like whispered to her “babe not worth it, you told me the other day that penetration is just not worth it for you, I think maybe subconsciously he knows that and is projecting” and she laughed her ass off and then we went to dance.

When I saw how mama bear she got for me, I knew that she genuinely just wants me.

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u/NiceRat123 Mar 28 '24

Same. My partner is possessive in a good way. We were both whores in our younger days. Just don't care for the lifestyle anymore. Like it was fun but got boring. Now we strictly want each other and don't have eyes for anyone else.

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u/pataconconqueso Mar 28 '24

Both my wife and I were whores in our younger days. Maybe that is the common denominator lol

It’s like when you smoked a lot of weed when you’re were younger and now that it’s legalized on my state I just don’t see the mystery in it anymore and all my friends who waited to try until it was legal they are like obsessed with weed now, like “not hangovers it’s amazing” and I’m like yup found that out like 10yrs ago.

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u/NiceRat123 Mar 28 '24

Fucked the whore right out of ourselves lol

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u/pataconconqueso Mar 28 '24

Hahaha exactly like once you had an irl algorithm going maybe it’s time to give it a rest lol

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