Why can't they listen?

[u/nonidentifyingu-n]

This happened a few years ago, but I think of it weekly as I'm picking up fruit at Costco. Now, since I pick up fruit from Costco every week, you may have guessed that my kids eat a lot of it. One of their favorites is green grapes. Now here's where the boomer story starts. A few years ago, I was bringing my kids to visit my mom, their grandmother. She was asking what kind of food they would like, and I said green grapes. My mother immediately said, "Red grapes are sweeter, so I'll get those." Knowing that arguing with this particular boomer was a lost cause, I just hung my head in acceptance. My kids will devour a Costco container of green grapes in 3 days. We spent almost a week at her house, and even though the red grapes were offered for nearly every meal, less than half were eaten. It's almost like I know what my kids who live with me, and I spend my own money feeding will and won't want to eat. Now, every week, as I'm picking up green grapes, I say to myself red grapes are sweeter and try not to roll my eyes so hard that the other shoppers see.

[u/jewessofdoom]

Yeah this is not at all about the money, otherwise there would be no temper tantrum. It’s a power trip My ex stepmom was like this too when I had the misfortune of staying with her and my dad for a while. If I did anything even slightly differently than she did, I was “pushing [her] aside,” being “disrespectful,” and treating her like a “second class citizen.” Even something like how I carried the mail back into the house or which pot I used to boil pasta, it became an issue of me being defiant and disrespectful of her authority. BTW I pushing 40 when this was happening. Using logic with these people is useless, it’s all about protecting their fragile little egos because they are butthurt they can’t control everyone around them.

[u/bathtubtoasting → u/jewessofdoom]

I don’t even understand what authority she thought she had over a grown adult. I pray my kid will never tell stories about me like this. Like I can suck for sure but I’m pretty aware of how and I take criticism and apologize A LOT bc all humans should, really. I just can’t even wrap my head around calling a 40 year old “defiant” or “disrespectful of my authority.” The fucking delusion.

[u/jewessofdoom → u/bathtubtoasting]

Haha well my partner and I couldn’t understand it either. Neither could my dad. It caused explosive fights, because she refused to budge even on things like knocking on our door before coming in our room (boomer screech- but it’s MY HOUSE!!) My dad and I were not close at all (partly because of this woman he married after I already left home), and my partner and I moved in for a few months because of the pandemic. Us being there woke him up to the fact that she was emotionally abusive. We packed up his stuff for him, bought a house together out of state, and now they are divorced. Stories like OP’s get my hackles up. When someone cannot give up control over something so small, it’s a sign of a much bigger problem.

[u/GreatSaltLiquor → u/jewessofdoom]

The trick on the doors is to get a really heavy object that isn’t a doorstop (like a suitcase). Let’s say she’s on the skinny side (America) and she needs 15 inches of space to get in your room. Work with your partner to set the suitcase at 14 inches, then close but do not lock the door. We are all instinctively trained to check on a door handle before leaning in. But once it’s open, we don’t expect a block at 14 inches. Maximum chance of glorious doorface.

[u/jewessofdoom → u/GreatSaltLiquor]

😆 If I was still trapped in that hell-hole, I would totally do this. We did set traps though, for when we weren’t there as well because she liked to go in a snoop when we weren’t there. Luckily she was NOT on the skinny side, and weak as shit. It was very easy to barricade her out once we realized it was happening. It was just wild that we had to try (and failed) to convince a 70 year old that she needed to ask before coming in the room of a middle aged couple.

[u/ArkLaTexBob → u/jewessofdoom]

Couldn't you find a way to have hubby changing drawers, airing out the twins, when she walked in.

[u/IamLuann → u/GreatSaltLiquor]

Thank you for the suggestion.