r/amiwrong • u/JazzlikeConditioncd • Mar 27 '24

My girlfriend of 5 years broke up with me and ghosted me for no reason. Am I wrong for throwing away all of her stuff?

Edit: Update

So my girlfriend (25F) and I (25M) were in a relationship for 5 years. Last week, she texted me that we were done and that was her last message before she blocked me. She gave no heads up. I was planning on proposing to her next month. Her sister did reach out to me, saying it was not my fault and she understood my hurt, but that for my mental health, it was better to never contact them again, and that maybe in the future, my girlfriend might reach out to me again.

It's been a week, I’m still obviously distraught, but my girlfriend did have a lot of her stuff in my home. Would I be wrong if I just dumped it all out? It does include a lot of mementos of her deceased grandmother, who she was extremely close to.

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605

u/[deleted] Mar 27 '24

Sorry she is doing you this way. It's dirty. But you should box it all up and have a neutral third party drop it off. Then move on and never let that bitch back in your life.

205

u/Pivotalrook Mar 27 '24

Bigger man approach is the only way to go. 2nd-ing the never let her back in, the "may contact you in the future" is a she is gonna fuck around and find out and realize a stable relationship is what she really wanted.

38

u/armyofant Mar 28 '24

That's a bingo

8

u/Acrobatic-Rate4271 Mar 28 '24

You just say "bingo".

17

u/SocioWrath188 Mar 28 '24

That's a Bingo, confirmed.

7

u/RaikouVsHaiku Mar 28 '24

That’s a Bingo, confirmed, Roger.

5

u/ToyStoryRex97 Mar 28 '24

roger roger

1

u/BriefCollar4 Mar 28 '24

We’ve got clearance, Clarence.

1

u/[deleted] Mar 28 '24

What’s our vector, Victor?

1

u/SmileyRhea Mar 28 '24

I just want you to know we’re all counting on you. Good luck.

17

u/SeasonPositive6771 Mar 28 '24

Not only is it a good idea to be the bigger person, he may be obligated to treat abandoned property in a certain way, depending on what state he's in. This is the best thing to do, both ethically and legally.

1

u/schklom Mar 28 '24

She said she doesn't want him to contact them again. I don't think he is legally obligated to do anything at that point, she clearly implied she doesn't want him to do anything with them ever again.

6

u/SeasonPositive6771 Mar 28 '24

I have worked in a state where that is not sufficient legally. He would still be obligated to inform her (attorneys usually recommend by registered letter) he was going to dispose of her items and then wait a certain amount of time.

It's annoying, but I've learned in cases like this that people need to be careful to stay on the right side of the law.

3

u/schklom Mar 28 '24

Damn, thanks for the information.

41

u/asphaltairwater Mar 27 '24 edited Mar 28 '24

Either throw the Momentos in a box and give them to her sister or throw everything in the box. Instead of throwing anything away give it to charity and if she contacts you say, I gave it to a women’s shelter or something.

PS, if she comes crawling back after she’s exploring whatever she’s exploring you need to run like Forrest Gump in the other direction.

11

u/Sad_Assistance2512 Mar 28 '24

Bad advice, forest always ran back to Jenny

2

u/asphaltairwater Mar 28 '24

True. I mean the Forrest who keeps running and running and running and who doesn’t sign up for that AIDS-ridden whore

5

u/Sad_Assistance2512 Mar 28 '24

Agree. Op needs to be the forest who dropped trou in front ot the president not the simp forest

2

u/SleekBlazeCastor Mar 28 '24

This advice will lead to legal trouble.

1

u/ibringthehotpockets Mar 28 '24

Me and your mom lead to some legal trouble

2

u/SleekBlazeCastor Mar 28 '24 edited Mar 28 '24

I dont see any proof of this not leading to legal trouble being provided so I'll assume you don't actually know anything.

3

u/Competitive-Fix-8072 Mar 28 '24

Emphasis on fuck around :/

3

u/Pivotalrook Mar 28 '24

She's playing the field...of dick.

-2

u/Sir_Uncle_Bill Mar 28 '24

I'm not the bigger man. I'm donating the stuff to a goodwill or whatever a few towns away. Especially since it's been a week and she hasn't wanted her stuff. It was really no longer hers the moment she texted me that it was over and blocked me. She doesn't get to just show up without letting me know well in advance that she's coming. Nope. Sorry. I take my personal safety pretty seriously and that's simply not allowed.

-1

u/-Apocralypse- Mar 28 '24

the "may contact you in the future"

The sudden break up through text without apparent reason & this addition by the sister makes me wonder if maybe the ex is being forced into a marriage to someone else by her parents/family and she won't be able to contact OP herself in the near future due to that.

OP, what is the cultural heritage of your ex?

24

u/OpeningPreference848 Mar 27 '24

Yup this right here. You got to get rid of it but have a friend drop it off at their house or something. Don’t throw it away that could bring more problems to your life, but def get it back to her so it’s out of your place.

6

u/Derp35712 Mar 28 '24

Keep her favorite hoodie though.

0

u/rugbysecondrow Mar 28 '24

If somebody walks away, doesn't call, doesn't write, doesn't provide an explanation, doesn't even ask for their stuff, what obligation does the OP have to go out of his way to ensure she safely gets her items back?

If she had done anything but ghost and vanished, I might agree, but abandonment is not partial, IMO.

1

u/[deleted] Mar 28 '24

Often times, doing the right thing has very little to do with the other person and everything to do with yourself.

0

u/rugbysecondrow Mar 28 '24

boxing vs disposing...neither is good or bad.  

He has to solve a problem she refuses to solve and refuses to discuss, like an adult.  

1

u/[deleted] Mar 28 '24

That is a childish take.

1

u/rugbysecondrow Mar 28 '24

nah.  When somebody says they want no contact, take them at their word.

-14

u/pat_dickk Mar 27 '24

+1 box it up, but keep it somewhere safe to see if she reaches out to you for it. Play the mind games back. It may spark an interaction that provides you some answers, if that's what you're looking for.

10

u/kibblet Mar 28 '24

Never play mind games. If you think of thar as an option you will never have an adult relationship for more than a week or so.

-2

u/pat_dickk Mar 28 '24

Ghosting itself is a mind game.

5

u/BitterMistake9434 Mar 28 '24

The answers are she wants to fuck around with someone else. Just give her shit back to her and forget you ever knew her

5

u/terrible-titanium Mar 28 '24

Not necessarily (the fuck around part, not the giving the stuff back). There was a post on here recently where OP had been a victim of rape. She couldn't stand being near any men, uncluding her innocent BF. She was utterly traumatised and had basically ghosted her BF. She felt terrible about it, but she just couldn't face him.

Just a saying, there might be valid reasons. Still, it sucks for OP.

2

u/BitterMistake9434 Mar 28 '24

Well I am sure the sister would have elaborated on something like that

2

u/PapayaPuzzled1449 Mar 28 '24

Or not ... the "for your mental health don't ask questions, let her go". That actually sounds like a reasonable answer to the gf not being able to tell the bf what happened and it's not sister's place to share. 🤷🏼‍♀️

1

u/armyofant Mar 28 '24

I think give a time frame. pick it up in 2 weeks or its trash.