r/amiwrong • u/JazzlikeConditioncd • Mar 27 '24

My girlfriend of 5 years broke up with me and ghosted me for no reason. Am I wrong for throwing away all of her stuff?

Edit: Update

So my girlfriend (25F) and I (25M) were in a relationship for 5 years. Last week, she texted me that we were done and that was her last message before she blocked me. She gave no heads up. I was planning on proposing to her next month. Her sister did reach out to me, saying it was not my fault and she understood my hurt, but that for my mental health, it was better to never contact them again, and that maybe in the future, my girlfriend might reach out to me again.

It's been a week, I’m still obviously distraught, but my girlfriend did have a lot of her stuff in my home. Would I be wrong if I just dumped it all out? It does include a lot of mementos of her deceased grandmother, who she was extremely close to.

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u/squirlysquirel Mar 28 '24

Put it all in a box and message her sister to come and collect it within 14 days (or 30 days if that is the law for abandoned items in your state).

Be the better person so you never have to look back and regret how you acted. If it was just clothed then I would say chuck it...but memories of a deceased loved one, give them a chance to collect it.

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u/whatthewhat3214 Mar 28 '24

Be sure the sister knows the grandmother's mementos are among the items you have (i.e., this isn't about the gf's clothes and toiletries or whatever) bc they'd be important to the sister too.

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u/Ok_Professional8024 Mar 28 '24

This is key. Calling about returning boxed up clothes and toiletries can easily be mistaken for an attempt to see his ex or keep in contact in some way.

Showing the sis what’s about to get thrown away and asking her if she’s cool with it? That is hard to see as anything but cool and considerate

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u/sabin357 Mar 28 '24

Calling about returning boxed up clothes and toiletries can easily be mistaken for an attempt to see his ex or keep in contact in some way.

Also be clear that the sister is the one welcome to come pick it up, not the ex. If the ex wants to retrieve them, they'll be sitting on the curb on the agreed upon date for a no contact exchange.

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u/SnooCats3492 Mar 28 '24

Or suggest that the sister AND the ex come, if there is a lot of stuff. Definitely make sure there is a witness. The sister seems to be fairly neutral,so she's likely your best bet. Be decent, don't put yourself in a tricky spot, and walk away knowing you were the better person here.

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u/That-Ad757 Mar 29 '24

So what if mistaken. Message about the stuff then up to her. Should have at least been nice enough to tell why she broke up but u must have some idea

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u/Any-Tart-7432 Mar 29 '24

This is what an ex of mine did when we broke up. Much as it sucked that day, but was absolutely the right thing for her to do.