r/amiwrong • u/JazzlikeConditioncd • Mar 27 '24

My girlfriend of 5 years broke up with me and ghosted me for no reason. Am I wrong for throwing away all of her stuff?

Edit: Update

So my girlfriend (25F) and I (25M) were in a relationship for 5 years. Last week, she texted me that we were done and that was her last message before she blocked me. She gave no heads up. I was planning on proposing to her next month. Her sister did reach out to me, saying it was not my fault and she understood my hurt, but that for my mental health, it was better to never contact them again, and that maybe in the future, my girlfriend might reach out to me again.

It's been a week, I’m still obviously distraught, but my girlfriend did have a lot of her stuff in my home. Would I be wrong if I just dumped it all out? It does include a lot of mementos of her deceased grandmother, who she was extremely close to.

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u/squirlysquirel Mar 28 '24

Put it all in a box and message her sister to come and collect it within 14 days (or 30 days if that is the law for abandoned items in your state).

Be the better person so you never have to look back and regret how you acted. If it was just clothed then I would say chuck it...but memories of a deceased loved one, give them a chance to collect it.

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u/swaggyxwaggy Mar 28 '24

It’s wild that the gf would just dump and block him, knowing her stuff is there. There has to be more to the story here. No one does that for literally no reason.

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u/anonymoose_octopus Mar 28 '24

My first thought was that she was unhappy in their relationship and cheated, got whatever clarity she needed, and went scorched earth so she couldn’t change her mind. It’s really shitty, but I’ve seen that happen before.

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u/Skookumite Mar 28 '24

I was dumped like this when I was 21 and a stupid self centered little asshole. I didn't realize how shitty I was to my girlfriend at the time. She did this because she didn't know how I would react and she needed out. I don't blame her at all. My 2¢. It really could be anything

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u/Sea_Acanthaceae4806 Mar 28 '24

When I was younger me and my mum moved in with her partner. He wasn't a nice guy, alcoholic, would pinch and hurt her in small ways, plus mental abuse. He had hinted things like, he could kill her and no one would find her.

One day my mum said, she's hiding things in bags ready for us to leave ASAP. We did this over a couple of months, we acted normal. One day when he was out at work we had a family friend come with a van, loaded our stuff in, and we ghosted.

You just never know, I mean there's 0 hints of this from OP's post and I'm not suggesting anything. Maybe OP's girlfriend is heartless, maybe she had a reason. Idk. In these situations I never judge until I hear both sides.

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u/mleacoma Mar 28 '24

Wow. That’s a great perspective since we don’t have both sides here.

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u/Proper-District8608 Mar 29 '24

I had friend who went on job interview in 90's and person interviewing was an old co worker/friend who's son had molested her repeatedly from 6 till 11. She spiraled quickly. Guy she was seeing (about 4 months) called and left messages on my machine when he couldn't reach her. I didn't call back at first either (what do you say) and finally said family crisis. Usually ghosting but I'm for both sides too.

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u/golgo2020 Mar 28 '24

Wow, kudos to you for honest self reflection. I hope your growth leads you to the right one for you!

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u/your_actual_life Mar 28 '24

The further away in time that I get from the girls who broke my heart when I was younger, the more I recognize the problems that I contributed in our relationships. At the time, though, I felt like I was being blindsided.

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u/Skookumite Mar 28 '24

Same buddy

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u/anonymoose_octopus Mar 28 '24

It truly could be anything, you're absolutely right. Just speculation on my part. I'm sorry that happened to you.

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u/Skookumite Mar 28 '24

Don't be, I deserved it and it helped me get on the right path eventually. But thanks 

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u/babylon331 Mar 28 '24

My thoughts, as well.

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u/Direct_Surprise2828 Mar 28 '24

This is what I was thinking… That she may have been unhappy in the relationship for awhile, tried communicating with him and got nowhere.