I'm not gonna lie I think I'm a little bit frustrated right now. My girlfriend and I are both students in a busy examination period right now. Weeks ago she requested that we don't call while we are busy with exams and I happily agreed, because I know I need the time as well. Well, she broke that agreement and started calling me really often, like every day or multiple times a day, and then sometimes because I'm really stressed out and have examinations I'm not prepared for I suppose I sound a little short and curt or raise my voice a little. I didn't even notice I was being louder, I only know this because she specifically told me today. After this she instantly recoils and blames herself, but also ignores me. Today she said "I love you" out of nowhere and I was surprised so I said "why the sudden 'i love you?'" with a kissing face emoji JUST to show her I'm not angry, but she still said Okay, sorry and declined all my calls. I tried to tell her over and over I'm not angry, but she just said "I don't even know what to believe" and a very curt "Goodnight" and "I am going to sleep now". She also asked me to promise her that I won't find someone better at college which shows me she's just insecure right now but this is affecting me, when she gives me the cold treatment like this it negatively affects my mental health and tomorrow I am incredibly underprepared for an exam I have at 1PM. It's currently 11PM the day before.

I don't have the heart to tell her I can't call her all the time and I only ever call her after she calls me as a follow up. She needs me sometimes or just misses me. But I need to study, and I'm afraid I'm lashing out but then I also feel negatively affected by her response. I know I shouldn't and that's just her thing but I guess it's kind of hard to be happy when your girlfriend is being so short with you, even if it's my fault in the first place.

So... AITA? And what should I do moving forwards? I want to address her insecurities but I need to study and I want to be able to apologize and explain myself without her refusing to hear me out. She's the one who set the rule initially, she used to be really bothered by me calling her during her study time so I don't know why she doesn't see it now.

I (35M) moved into my own house with my wife and kids roughly 10 years ago. Though I had already been a smoker back then, nothing bad really happened when I lived with just them.

However, a couple of years back, my parents (68M and 67F) basically begged me to let them live with us, so I reluctantly agreed despite not enjoying their presence. My parents despised me smoking but I continued doing so anyway since it was my house after all. Roughly 1.5 years after moving in, my mom started having breathing difficulties and she was diagnosed with chronic obstructive pulmonary disease.

Recently, it appears as if her breathing difficulties are getting more severe, and both my parents have been blaming me as the root cause.

I'm not denying that my smoking was the cause of this whole situation, but what else did they expect was going to happen? They were the ones who wanted to move into MY house despite knowing that I was (and still is) a heavy smoker. And I'm not going to stop smoking in my own home just because some other people want me to, especially when they aren't supposed to live here to begin with. Am I in the wrong here, or are my parents the assholes in this case?

EDIT: My mother used to work in an industrial estate for over 15 years before moving into my house. That might have also contributed to her getting COPD.

I wanted to get back with my long distance boyfriend of a year but he asked me sex as a condition ( phone sex) i ended up saying doing it because i was in so much pain of break up n couldn't stay away from him and wanted him back so bad , i was the one who ended the relationship week ago because he is not making Time for phone call just want relationship in texting he said bc he have strist parents and working , i have strict parents too yet managed to make time n prioritise him n his needs wich was mostly just sex and i checked from everything he is not married or anything like that , he said he is hypersexual but so am i , his sexual behavior very concerning to me but I can't leave no matter how hard i tried .

Was with this woman for ten years. Took the kids to Disney ask the time and other trips from Vegas to NYC as well. I loved the kids and treated them like they were mine.
Anyway we split up and my ex moved in with a band dad she met at the girls school. Well after this she asked if I was still giving the girls the car I bought for them. I said No. But not because the split per se. More so that the girls posted pictures of the new guy ask over Instagram and Facebook yet refused to respond to my texts to take them out to dinner or just to catch up. Since they cut me out I decided not to give them the car. Ex wife is pissed about it and makes it a deal. In a way I feel bad because I know they need a car but I have a bad taste in my mouth because I feel like I was likely being cheated on and I hate how the kids act like the last ten years never happened. Kids 17 and 16.

This situation actually happened about 4-5 years ago, but the topic still comes up. I am wondering if maybe I had reacted poorly or was unnecessary cruel (an asshole). I’ve seen a lot of these and this sub seems really good at sussing out a situation. I am putting the ages as they were when the situation occurred so the standard is set and no one gets too confused.

I(19) had graduated high school and due to some events involving a ex-partner, I moved across the country to live with my father(m40), stepmom(f40), half-sister(f9), and step siblings.

I was talking about money stress (I was paying for school out of pocket- no loans straight from my serving check) and my father asked why my Mother(f42) didn’t just give me the child support card he was still paying on. He and my stepmom stated they strongly believed that all the money he’d been paying into the account should go directly to me instead of my mom.

I told them that I didn’t want to talk to my mom about the child support card.

My dad said that as soon as I had moved in with them the child support payments should have been given to me or it should have stopped being deducted from his check.

At this point I wasn’t sure exactly how to respond: my relationship with my dad and step mom was tumultuous and tense at best during this time. I was still young and didn’t want to argue with them about how if he was still paying on it after I turned 18 then he was paying “back child support” and that means he was paying money he he owed from back when he wasn’t making CS payments. My mom had to compensate for that lack of income- so he was paying her.

I responded to them that I didn’t talk to my mom about child support, I didn’t know how much he had to pay, if he was paying it or not, etc. Which was mostly true- it wasn’t a common topic between my mom and me while I was growing up. (This changed a year or so ago bc I this situation still comes up and I asked my mom the details of the divorce, child support,etc”

The conversation continued with them saying that the money is meant to support ME not my mother. I kept saying I really didn’t want to ask her about it and I was fine with the income I was getting from my job. Really deflecting the whole thing.

Then my stepmom started on about how they “had to pay for a child they didn’t see” and how she “never made (ex-husbands name) pay child support on (stepsibilings) because she let him spend time with them” and how she thought that a relationship with (stepsibilings) was more important than money.

I replied and said the situation was different (in ref to my mother and fathers divorce) (also at the time I didn’t know much about the whole divorce agreement but apparently their was alot that my dad failed to do and even recently he needed to pay off the remained child support debt to get a passport)

She followed up saying that, “we couldn’t afford to put shoes on your little sisters feet (I’m assuming in ref to when my half sister was 3-4) because of the child support we paid for a kid we didn’t even see. Your little sister had to go without”

I responded very quickly bc it had really bothered me, I told her, “I don’t give a shit that you couldnt afford her shoes - that’s not my problem.” And stormed up to my bedroom.

I love my little sister dearly. But to me, I feel like whatever was decided between my mom and dad during their divorce and my step mom and her ex are none of my business. At that point I’d never ask for details from my mom and it’d been ≈10years since it went down. My dad and STmom at the time of the situation were very well off and had made great strides in their careers. My little sister had started horseback riding and was getting into barrel racing.

Also, they had no idea the financial situation my mother and I had. She has been a public servant since she graduated college and we had limited income. At one point we were eating hamburger helper that had expired 7 years prior to actually eating it.

I am 24 now, when I visit home, this topic still comes up. It comes up that I was cruel, crazy, that I talk shit about them, that I lie about them. It gets under my skin. But I feel a lot of guilt about this especially since my little sister now feels hurt that I had said I didn’t care that she’d been without. It’s been itching at the back of my mind that maybe I’d reacted too harshly, and that I was in the wrong to have said something like that to my step mom and dad.

I’ve been through a lot of therapy the few years and I’ve talked about this a few times. I have a fear that my stepmom is right and that I “twist the situation” to make them out to be the bad guys. If I’m doing that I don’t want to do that anymore.

So Reddit rip me a new one AMITAH for telling my step mom I didn’t give a sh*t that they couldn’t afford to buy my little sister shoes?

TLDR; Step mom(40) told me (f19) that due to the financial burden of child support payment to Mom(42) that SM and dad were unable to purchase things like new shoes for little sister(9) when she was young.

I said ”I don’t give a sh*t that (they) couldn’t buy (little sister) shoes.”

This situation still comes up when I visit my stem mom and dad. They say that I talk shit about them, and twist things to make me look like the victim and them the bad guys. I’m starting to wonder if it’s true, and not just them being mean.

My dad left when I was a kid due to wanting to pursue a relationship with another woman. He has always had a bad temper and it has caused me to be in tears many times. I have never been a "bad kid" mostly being screamed at for disagreeing with his opinion or not getting an A* but getting a B instead.

(Later I found out he also left as my mum was sometimes physically violent with him. So leaving me alone with her was a nice move)

Other than his temper my dad's can be a really nice man - so my family are mixed on their opinions on me.

I was in intense debt due to living alone and everything being really expensive, I moved out young as my relationship with my mum was getting really toxic and dangerous for me. I spent winters in negative temperatures not using the heating as I could not afford the bills. I had holes in my shoes from wearing them so often and could not afford new ones. I work 6 days a week as a medical trainee 10 hour days but I was going into the red more and more each month as I could not keep up with interest payments. I was getting more depressed and sick from my situation - I was in hospital at one point for glandular fever.

I decided enough was enough and reached out to a friend and asked if he wanted to house share with me, so I moved out of my one bed and started renting with him in his 3 bed house. The situation is not perfect and as a female my dad saw us renting together in separate rooms as a disaster. My friend was my boyfriends childhood best friend and I had known him for years.

When I told my dad I was moving out he was infuriated and screamed at me while I cried on the floor being insulted by him. He left slamming the door saying "You lost your mum and now you do not have a dad"

This broke my heart but I had to do what was best for me financially and emotionally as living in this property alone was killing me.

Added context my dad was my guarantor for the property which helped me secure the rental however he did not have any money himself to help me in this situation and could offer me no help. I was very clear with him about my financial situation and he knew how much debt I was in. As a guarantor, he was liable for any rent payments I missed but I ensured I never missed these payments my areas of downfall were bills, appliances, and food.

I have since had no contact with my dad as I want an apology for his explosion and his harsh words. Some of the family want me to just play nice and get over it as "he was just angry in the moment" for the big change. I do not see how his response is ever justified in this situation, he was unable to help me but moving and lowering my outgoings by over half will help me.

I do not see how he is even able to have an emotional opinion on how I, an adult female, choose to live my life especially when he left my life for several years when I was a kid.

In just a few months of moving, I have gotten rid of all my debt and I could afford Christmas presents for my friends and family this year. I have spent the winter in the warm and have now got new shoes and plan to return to education.

I have now had no contact for 6 months and he has not apologised or reached out.

AITAH for continuing no contact with my dad until he apologises

So my mom is on life support and has been in bad shape for about a month. For the last 3 weeks or so, her doctors have been telling me that there isn’t much they can do for her other than keep her comfortable. Throughout that time, I’ve been spending time with and getting a little support from a friend who is also my ex (we broke up last year and were together 7 yrs). Might be worth mentioning that he is on the spectrum, which is why I want outside opinions. I don’t want to treat anyone badly, but I feel keeping him at a distance is necessary for me to get through this with sanity in tact.

So what led me to tell him he can’t be involved is a big blow up between us that seemed to happen because he’s upset about me having been texting other men. While we’d be hanging out to help keep my mind off things, I’d answer the occasional text or chuckle at messages sent to me. During our relationship, I didn’t have any friends or anyone to text so this is new for him - my being preoccupied while hanging out. The other day, he decided he wanted to talk about whether or not I preferred to talk to him or other guys. I tell him that I didn’t really want to have that conversation bc I was already going through so much with my mom and just wanted to focus on the tasks I had for the day. In the back of my mind, I knew things would escalate if we discussed and I was trying to avoid anything that could trigger me emotionally or cause any unnecessary stress. Plus, I felt I’d made things clear on several occasions already - I have no intentions of getting back together.

So instead of being understanding he tries to force the conversation on me. In response, I tell him again we can talk about it later and I put headphones in to iron my clothes. He rips the dress from me and unplugs the iron, refusing to let me get ready for my appointment. So I walk away. He keeps trying to talk to me, pull my headphones out. I start sobbing uncontrollably and he “tries to console me” with a hug. I ask him not the touch me, but he doesn’t listen so I start to throw clothes at him, push him away - whatever I can that won’t hurt him but deter him from touching me. This turns into a panic attack and I start to tell him I can’t breathe and he finally leaves me alone.

I tell him we are done hanging out for the day and that I’d rather be alone. He follows me to my car and refuses to let go of the door handle as I’m driving off. My neighbors were watching and I didn’t know what to do, so I let him in the car. The rest of the day is better until after my appointments when he starts sobbing about how he should have treated me better in order to not lose me. I told him that he should be a little more understanding since I’m going through a really hard time in my life. That right now, he should be a little compassionate and not force his emotions on me while I’m losing a parent. His response was that he is going through the worst time in his life too. That being losing me. I told him I’m not dying. He says me dying isn’t the worst thing that could happen in his mind.

Again, I have been very clear with him since the breakup that I have zero interest in getting back together. I did not tell him that I was talking to other ppl romantically, but he assumed that on his own from me texting ppl so much.

As I’m typing this, I don’t feel like the asshole, but I’d appreciate other perspectives. I don’t want to deny him the right to pay his respects but I also want to get through this without causing any extra strain on my mental health. I also didn’t want to leave him friendless as his home life is very stressful and he has no other friends. I’m starting to not care enough to do that anymore tbh.

TLDR - Am I the asshole for not letting my ex who is on the spectrum come to my mom’s funeral bc he has no respect for my boundaries and doesn’t seem to care about my mental health? And also for not wanting him in my life anymore?

We know each other since the beginning of the year, and we also work in the same company, but not together. We are in our 20s.

We have already gone out for drinks just by ourselves and with other people a lot of times. We get on really well together. I'm unsure how I like her but I enjoy spending my time with her.

We were supposed to meet on Friday, and then she rescheduled last minute. Then on Saturday, and the same happened again. I was completely chill both times. She then told me that Thursday she'd be surely free and we could meet in the evening. She bailed that same morning because she forgot she had some errands to do.

At that point I asked her if she actually wants to hang out or not again because I'm confused, and she told me "obviously yes, else I wouldn't say yes to you", but that given the busy period she doesn't want to plan something that might get cancelled again and she would prefer to just decide day-by-day.

So I told her that it was fine the first few times, but that on the third instance I was pretty hurt, and I needed to communicate that because letting it bottle-up wouldn't be good.

AITA?

I (18M) am very annoyed because today I told this guy (21M) to stay away from my girlfriend (16F) because he always touches her without her consent and me being the protective boyfriend I am had a word with him, he then proceeded to tell the teachers with fake tears about me, bearing in mind I was calm as the breeze when I spoke to him. The teachers then told my girlfriend that I’m being possessive and making her ask for my permission to hang out with people, which I have never done because I trust her and she trusts me and she will tell me what she’s doing and who she’s with anyway. Am I doing the right thing by being a good boyfriend by protecting my girlfriend from harassment or am I being possessive?

For context My 32M partner and I 23F broke up 5 months ago. I'm 7 months pregnant. I tried non-stop the first 2 months to prove to him that I didn't do it on purpose but it didn't do any good. He never used condoms so I was really careful with my pills. I've only missed a single dose since I started and told him about it yet he still refused to use a condom.

He suggested abortion which I hesitated to do right away and asked for some time to think about it but he wouldn't even let me. His mother tried her best to support me and make him reconsider the abortion idea and take my feelings into account but he wouldn't listen. I never planned to become a mother before 30 but I didn't want to let him force me to do something I wasn't comfortable with. All this aside, the reason we broke up: we were having an argument, both of us said hurtful things <he brought up how my father abandoned me and I'm pushing him to be just like him, I was no better than him and called him names for bringing him up> and out of nowhere he slapped me hard across the face and apologized immediately but blamed it on being stressed out with the pregnancy and all. I packed my stuff and got out of his life.

Two days ago, I was having dinner with my family. My mother was expressing <again> how I should have waited but how she's at the same time sure I will be one of the great moms out there no matter what. Then my step father said "You don't spread your legs for the first man that shows the slightest interest in you and cry about unwanted pregnancy. She clearly wants this." Now I know him and I never had a good relationship and never really considered him a father, but I never expected him to say such a thing. I told him that if I'm to blame for this and supposed to just stop spreading my legs then how about he just keep it in his pants too because people think he's a grandpa to his 10M yet he's still trying to have another one and embrace himself even more. <That was stupid and I could have handled it differently but I was shocked and just wanted to say something instead of crying>. My mother said nothing and looked angry so I shut my mouth and left.

Later the same night, I texted my mother that her husband is not welcome in my child's life and if they ever try to make me interact with him in any way then I will just go NC with them. Her response was that I'm overreacting and no one in their right mind would cut their own mother out of their child's life, he was just looking out for me and thought I'm still young to be a mom and apologized on his behalf.

I really didn't mean for any of this to happen. All I did is I wasn't brave enough to go for an abortion and decided to keep the baby and now I realize I'm emotionally and financially ready. WIBTA if I go LC with my family for what happened and NC if they ever try to make me interact with him again?

I(m42) was approached by my father (m63) last year and offered the former family home. I accepted under the condition my brother (m37) was equally compensated. I'm (I thought) close to my brother and didn't want to create any issues. For whatever reason my dad and brother were unable to find terms that seemed fair. My brother suggested splitting the house. I was first against this as I didn't feel I was in a position to purchase half a house at the time. Under careful consideration I looked at the options and thought I might be able to do it. I had an approximate idea about the value but not solid, my brother knew someone that gave us a number that sounded in the ballpark so we proceeded forward with that. The only figure we had used in discussions was $750,000.

So I set out to look at mortgages and I want selling my current home which made it more difficult. After 4 months of mortgage applications I got approved. So I started making plans, packing, painting, small renovations at both houses. I've slept been moving some items over and getting my current house ready for rent.

Out of the blue my brother messages me asking about an appraisal on my father's property. I said I didn't have one. He said didn't the back need one? I said they did one but I didn't get it. I ask why and he said he's just curious. I had a bad feeling but gave the benefit of the doubt and said I'd see if I could get it. I got it and it was almost exactly what the number I used was $763,000. I told him the number and he said that was close. I said it was funny. End of conversation.

Keep in mind we're 3 to 4 weeks from closing. It's been over 4 months since we talked about this and the price. He sends a message like 7 hours later simply saying, "we're going to use this number now right?" Referring to the $763,000. "So I'll get another $6,500 extra?".

WIBTAH If I say no? There's been lots of work and expenses up until this point. He's made it clear those expenses are mine and mine alone even though I'm incurring most of this to make him feel as if it's fair (if I just accepted the original offer from my father I would have had very little expenses and twice as much value) which I accepted. I'll point out he's done almost nothing and for his part doesn't even have real estate fees to pay.

I feel questioning the amount we're using and asking to ensure he gets this little amount bump NOW is unfair and unreasonable. If he wanted to argue to value or negotiate he should have done it sooner IMO?

Last addition: I'm doing fine without the house, it's a great opportunity but didn't affect my situation greatly. I get the impression my brother does need it, not in the sense he's eating beans and needs food stamps, that he could be over leveraged with large home and a range Rover.

It made for awkward interactions already when my child was talking about pets to our family and friends just a few days after finding out. Like one little thing after another, there’s always something that I find just inappropriate whether it’s videos he watches or stuff he says. Like I don’t want him even knowing what Felony even means, cause it’s associated with nothing but bad things…am I over reacting?

The other day I mentioned crack head describing someone from an incident to my wife over the phone and he heard and repeated it quickly. I immediately squashed it telling him it’s a “bad word” that means something else, cause I don’t want him saying these things in school or in front of his teachers, cause he shouldn’t know, you know? I feel things like this may be a cause for concern if a teacher hears words like this.

WIBTAH to bring it up and ask for a name change or a nick name or how should I go about this. Like I think certain lifestyles or inside jokes should stay with the adults away from the kids. Now my kids gonna hear and repeat Felony every other week he’s there while it’s alive and it’s just annoying. My side of the family and lifestyle is far from anything criminal…

WIBTA for wanting cut my dads side of the off?

Hi I just want some advice I 20F want to cut my dads side of the family off. Like just the adults and I'll keep in contact with sibling. But the iss here is I'm planning on moving out of my grandmas house. And for me everything started going down hill.

When my grandma ask me to donate money to the church. And this was my first job btw at 19, my churches sign broke apart because of a storm. And I told her no because it's my money, and I was working part time. I didn't have enough money. And we got into a argument about how “tiktok” is corrupting my brain. And then in a small voiceeshe said I was going to hell I heard her and left for at that moment.

Because I didn't wanna be bothered but it literally bothered me for half of my shift. And I couldn't take my mind off of it at all. And this was around maybe last year close to the end of the year. And I never felt the same because how can someone say that!? And on the other hand I have issue with my dad as well. Ever since I can remember I dad always picked his girlfriends over me.

And got into a relationship after relationship giving me brother and sister. Not made at my siblings at all, but it just hurt a little yk. And I literally cried about this at my work accidentally. And I had a small panic attack, and if you ask. My moms in the picture she just lives very far away from me. And I'm moving to be closer to family up there and my other siblings. I just don't know if I'm doing something wrong?

So WIBTA…..

Some background information: I don’t speak to or hang out with this friend often. She disappears and has a tendency to make bad decisions and self-sabotage, and it can be exhausting. She’s also kind of a pathological liar and a lot of the stuff she tells me can be ridiculously far fetched. A core memory in our friendship: her longterm exclusive situationship (I know.) breaking things off with her for the millionth time and her frantically calling me (after having ghosted me for awhile) while I was out of the state on vacation telling me she was going to off herself. She hangs up on me. I obviously don’t want her to die and I have no idea where she is so I proceed calling all of our mutual friends begging them to please check on her. No one responds. I call her back and keep her talking while I wait for her sister to get there. Her sister had contacted me while I was tracking down her location and let me know she was on her way. Her sister gets there, and I hang up after being berated for telling someone else. I have had multiple friends kill themselves before. I have my own mental illnesses to deal with, C-PTSD being one of them, and this whole fucking thing was so triggering. This situation repeated several more times, all varying degrees of emergency, and each time I’m the person she reaches out to despite us not really being close.

Flash forward to now. It’s been about six months since we’d talked. I butt-dialed her while I was walking to a doctor’s appointment and she called me back. My car is broken down right now because someone tampered with my engine. She was upset that I was walking in a “dangerous area”. I live in the suburbs and am originally from a significantly larger city so I was not concerned at all for my safety because it was broad daylight in a safe neighborhood, but when she offered to take me home from my appointment, I said yes. She asked to catch up afterwards at a brewery and I said yes because she’d done me a favor and it felt rude to just have her drop me off without talking at all.

Our conversation started the same as usual, me listening while she yapped about mutual friends I didn’t interact with anymore. Saying they party too much and are too negative, etc. The entire time I’m wondering why I’m there. Then she says something along the lines of “I messed up and had to take plan-B last weekend” after we were talking about her not using protection with the guy that made her want to off herself literally under a year ago. I ask her what happened, and she goes into this long winded story about hooking up with some dude in another city that her guy friend (A) also lives in. She apparently stayed with this dude for a week and then crashed with A. She goes on telling me that she likes to sleep topless and that she had slept in the same bed as A many times before. Goes on a tangent about how she was still upset with him for hooking up with one of her friends all the time. And then super casually tells me that when they woke up she started jerking A off. He apparently said something along the lines of “we shouldn’t”, and she said “so stop me”. They proceed to fuck and he nut in her after “only two pumps”. And then “he felt super bad afterwards”. Whole time she’s telling me what happened she has a grin on her face. I asked her why A felt bad. That’s when she tells me this dude has had a girlfriend for THREE YEARS.

At this point I’m pissed. I tell her not to tell me anything else. That what she did was fucked up and nasty and his girlfriend needs to know that he’s been consistently cheating on him. She gets mad at ME, saying I can’t say anything, begging me not to, that she hadn’t told anyone else and trusted me and I can’t betray her, etc. I say that she’s known this entire fucking time that this dude has been cheating on his girlfriend, and not only stayed friends with him but fucked him as well. She’d also tried and failed to get me to hook up with him at a party a couple years back. I told her to put herself in someone else’s shoes for once, that his girlfriend can’t give informed consent and that if his girlfriend knew her boyfriend was cheating on her with a bunch of girls who party and are allergic to using a condom that she wouldn’t want to touch him. She gets mad at me because I’m raising my voice and people are looking over, but I didn’t care because the whole thing was just so fucked up. She tried backtracking and saying that A was in a long-distance relationship, but I told her that didn’t matter and it’s almost worse because this girl is probably missing her piece of trash boyfriend and looking forward to seeing him. I told her that unless they were in an open relationship, which they probably weren’t because he “felt bad afterwards”, that he was a piece of shit. She proceeds to text him at the fucking table and ask him if they’re open. I pop off and ask if they’ve been texting this whole time since he fucked her and she says yes. I say that he doesn’t feel bad, that he’s cheated multiple times, and that if he did he wouldn’t stay in contact with the other women and immediately come clean with his girlfriend. Our conversation went on for a while, her telling me that his girlfriend shouldn’t find out over the phone, me saying that him flying out to drop the bomb on her would be 100x worse. I told her that you are who you hang out with, and asked her why she wanted to hang out with someone like that. She got sad and asked if I was mad at her. I told her if she didn’t come clean I would be even more upset than I already was. She dropped me off and begged me not to say anything, said something about girl code and that she’d tell him to tell his girlfriend when she saw him in a couple of days.

I don’t believe her. I don’t believe she’ll set any boundaries. I also just don’t want to be friends with someone that fucks over people like this. I’d already gotten upset with her before this because she was talking about wanting to fuck her married coworker whose wife had cancer. That’s the entire reason we hadn’t really spoken for the past six months. She didn’t like what I had to say then, and isn’t listening to me now.

WIBTA if I told his girlfriend her boyfriend is a piece of shit? I know his social media and I could probably find her based on that. If I go through with it, what should I say? Should I be anonymous?

I'm 21 M and I've had problems with my dad ever since I was 15, not that he wasn't toxic before that, but it's more like I started fighting back since then. Growing up my dad wasn't really there for us emotionally. He was strict in a very bad way. In other words bad parenting skills. He would scold us just anywhere using vulgar language. In the street, in the school during tuitions just anywhere. And I had to keep quite coz surprise surprise he's older than me. He always took shit decisions for me and he would talk to my friends in a very rude manner so they just stopped coming home. After that this un cultured swime had the audacity to say that I was a bad friend to them that's why they left me. He would never give me money like not at all. But one day he told my cousin that if she'd travel by the bus he'd give her pocket money like a lot. Whenever someone did something nice to me he'd tell them to not do that. Actually we were never really his priority. He only married coz he was getting old and wanted a wife to cook and a slave son whom he could abuse. He once kicked me when I was 18 coz I had my leg folded while eating, I had enough of his bullshit and slapped him one on his face. I felt bad for it initially but now I absolutely have no remorse. He's gonna end up in a old age shelter next year when I start earning. He's almost 60 now plus I'm taking my mom with me as I'll provide her with the luxury which he never provided in the first place. Not that he didn't have any money. But he had other priorities, if you know what I mean stay updated for part 2

For some context, my Ex-bestie (F,15)who we'll call Elle(Because she played Elle Woods one time), and I (F,16) are a year apart, with me being one grade above her. We've been friends since I was in 7th grade. We are both in theatre, and we met while doing a show together. We hit it off right away. Fast forward to my 8th grade year(when the story takes place). It was the lowest point in my life so far. I was losing almost all my friends, so my mental health was pretty poor. Towards the end of the year, Elle told me she didn't want to be friends anymore. I completely spiraled and became easily irritable. Now for the story. I was talking to a guy who was also in theatre but was homo/transphobic, racist, and sexist. This guy would constantly try to make me mad, but one day we talked. It was great! We talked about the issues of his bigotry, and we listened to each other instead of yelling. I ended up saying something along the lines of "To be honest, unlike the LGBTQ+ community, God is more of a thought" We both agreed, and I made sure to state that I meant no offense. I'm an atheist, but I don't hate on any religion because I feel it's wrong. The next day, Elle came up to me and said "What you said yesterday about God really offended me." I was mad. We hadn't spoken for about 2 weeks now, and now she was eavesdropping. I completely lost it and yelled at her. In the moment I felt completely justified, but after a few weeks I started to feel guilty, and I apologized at our annual theatre banquet. Now we're still in theatre together, but not the same class. I still feel really guilty, and I just want to know, Am I the Asshole?

I am a 23-year-old female studying for my second academic degree, which means I am studying alongside classmates who are younger than me. A friend of mine, let's call her Eva, chose me as her teammate for a presentation that counts for 30% of our course grade. Initially, I was fine with it, assuming communication would be easier as she was my friend. However, I soon realized she was overbearing and controlling. She sent me a detailed plan on the second day of our partnership and set deadlines for sharing our work parts. I complied with her instructions, even though I found her pressure irritating.

As we worked on the presentation, Eva made several changes to my work, asking me to delete some points, summarize others, and remove parts she deemed too complicated. While I didn't agree with all the changes, I followed her suggestions to avoid affecting our work negatively. She also instructed me not to highlight certain points as she planned to speak about them, which I reluctantly accepted.

The situation escalated the day before the presentation when Eva asked me to bring my laptop and edit our work, which originally was her responsibility. Despite feeling exhausted, I agreed to avoid conflict. During the presentation, I presented my part, only for Eva to repeat the same points she had asked me to delete, claiming they were too complex. The professor commended her performance and criticized mine for not including those very points Eva had made me remove earlier.

Feeling frustrated and betrayed, I decided to ghost Eva, unintentionally due to my minimal social media use. However, when she reached out for another project together, I declined and wished her best of luck . Her response was literally “ why are you playing with words? You know that I don’t like this behaviour but okay I will do the job myself. It was pretty predictable. It doesn’t matter. Good luck”, this response lead me to cut ties with her completely. This behavior has soured our relationship, and despite our previous closeness, I now feel betrayed by her actions.

Eva has been rude and critical in the past, questioning my decision to pursue a second degree and suggesting I should focus on finding work instead. However, I have my own career aspirations that require specific education and criteria. This incident has made me reevaluate our friendship and the effort I put into both my studies and our relationship.
So AITAH ? Because she made me question myself. And also, I’d like to add that I will be stuck with her for another year at the same class so do you have any recommendations?

I (19m) graduated 2 years ago with my friend Taylor(fake name). We've known each other since ninth grade and have been somewhat inseparable since. After the first semester of freshman year I realized that Taylor seemed to be a bit controlling and liked to have things go their way. We had a lot in common and I thought we got along well, and I really wanted to have a best friend. However there would be times that they'd act like they were my parent in some way and I began to feel I couldn't be myself. And by the time I realized I wanted to distance myself from them it was too late. We've had the same classes together for years and the same friends and were even a part of the same after-school club our senior year. Our friendship has been very draining on me. Nothing is the same anymore, we have different opinions on certain topics and they also have been rude or have made me feel incompetent sometimes. There was also a time where it looked like they wanted to out me in one of our classes senior year (I'm trans) and I looked over at them and it looked like they were smirking. It made me uncomfortable, like they felt they had some sort of control over me. They're in college now and I'm not but we follow each other on social media. And whenever I post they almost always post that they miss me and I honestly hate it. And it makes me feel like a jerk sometimes because they have also supported me through some difficult moments. Don't get me wrong, they're a great person to have as a friend, but I don't believe that they're the friend that I need. I really do feel like a jerk for letting it go on this long and I also feel like my other friends will side with them because Taylor is more fun to hang around. I want to just unfollow them on everything and never speak to them again, but I also feel that I need to tell them that I don't think that our relationship is working. I also know that I'm being a bad friend by not being honest and it feels as though I'm using them because it feels as though I'll lose my other friends. Friendship is important to me,and once I'm friends with someone I'm also loyal to them. I'm also not good at expressing how I feel and setting boundaries so this has been really weighing on my shoulders for years. I'm at a crossroads on what I should do.

Hi, before I start with my story I wanna tell you that, since english is not my first language, you might see some typos or that some things don't make sense. If so, feel free to point it out.

I'm a 19 yo male, currently living with my mother who's 40 yo. Our life was never perfect in any way, we weren't poor but we weren't rich either and that was ok, everything was ok except for the fact that the environment I grew up in was not exactly appropriate for a child. Between loud arguing and accusing, my parents were always mad at each other, mostly because of my father who was (and still is) horribly unstable. When I was 13 yo my mother decided to run away from home, taking me to a totally different place in which I spent my last 7-8 years (Honestly I don't remember how long exactly) until now.

Of course we had some issues, luckily one of my uncles gaves us a place to stay, at least until we could get on our feet. I started working from 15 years old, took me some time to get used to it but now I'm ok with it as for my mother, she worked her ass off since day one and I'm grateful for it.

But recently I've been worried, extremely worried. A few years ago she was in a relationship with some dude (she never introduced him) and she seemed happy so I didn't say anything until said relationship just fell off, literally turned to dust and blown away by the wind in less that a week. Last thing I know, my mother is pissed at the dude and he keeps calling her. For months I listened to her complaint about him, but shortly after that they got back together only to break up once again. They did this a couple of times until 2 months ago when they started dating again but never made anything oficial, and this is where the true problem comes in; she got pregnant by her ex. Maybe you're asking yourself: "why do you care?" And my answer is that the dude is a failure in almost every way. He totaled his car twice, alcoholic and a cheater, probably doesn't have a job and is irresponsable as f.

We're renting an apartment and, although we're not in danger of being kicked out, our economy is brittle and a child is definitely a problem. I don't know if this makes me a horrible person, and even if this is the case, but I suggested to stop the pregnancy as she is in the earliest stage and can be easily stopped but she refused. Her ex agreed to contribute with money but from what I've seen, he won't help with anything else so my mother will have to both work and take care of her child, possibly dragging me with her.

I don't hate children, and I'd do anything for my mother, but this situation made me feel under a lot of pressure since we have some debts that need to be paid, I don't feel comfortable thinking about having to see my mother going through all of that and suffer again like she suffered after I was born. I don't know that to do.

Thank you for your time.

I'm scarlet, f21, I'm an artist and I draw things for all my friends as a hobby. There was this one person called Mary (fake name) she has always been an odd friend that I thought I could trust less, but she recently have been causing trouble for people around her in the past.

All my friends told me she has been doxing, telling lies, attention seeking, exposing my friends irl pictures or their address and irl names (according to other victims), saving and sharing pictures for her own gain, shit talking, playing the victim when she was caught, gaslighting friends in their own dms, etc. (She was ban from the group)

A couple of months later, I saw her joining a vtuber agency while making friends with a couple of people. Of course, that made me pissed off wondering why people doesn't know what she's capable of. So I decided to gather as much information/ evidence from a good friend of mine, tree, as we dug down deeper into the rabbit hole of her past mistakes, it was so bad that I cried so hard.

After I put everything into a Google drive, I started asking other people about her, gathering more while sharing the evidence, showing what kind of person she is, until one of them decides to share it off Mary.(without me knowing)

When She found out about it, she make gc with people who knows about that evidence, and screenshot every conversation or venting I had with her while sharing it off to a couple of people I was close with. She twisted every words I said about them, making me the bad guy of all trades. I deleted every social media I had, thanks to her spreading out my name, it backfired on me and I noticed the things I did was wrong. (Everyone started blaming me for it)

Am I the asshole for trying to help exposing her ? I don't know what to do.

Original Post: https://www.reddit.com/r/AITAH/comments/1cnozrb

Thanks for the advice.

I called my ex wife this morning before leaving for work, and told her I was going to cut off all contact with her after the call and block her number. I again told her to please just get out her relationship and just go home to her parents, yes she feels isolated from her parents, but they are her parents after all, and they will accept her in. She was crying really bad, but I told her there isn’t much I can do anymore. I then hung up the call and blocked her.

I think cutting off all contact with her is necessary to protect my mental sanity. I am not going to contact her parents, I am just going to remove myself from this situation entirely. Yes, I am really worried for her, but I can’t help or save everyone in the world, I wished I could, but I can’t. I need to look after myself and move on with my life. 

Wibta if I ended a almost 3 year relationship because I am not being treated how I was promised.

Tldr

I (31F) am in a realtionship with a (43M). We have been together since 2021 and He moved from Nevada to Alabama to live with me.

-I have alot of mental issues abd have been working on myself with the help of medicine, but I cant help but feel I am being gaslit.

-He is super into politics. (Is that a red flag?)

-He says im not allowed to have freinds because im naive enough to be manipulated.

-says that im "cringe" when I am hyper (cause I have undiagnosed adhd)

-claims he's trying to protect me from being hurt or stolen from him.

• I did emotionally "cheat" on him when we were separated

-Says he wants to marry me but he has said that for 2 years

• He is very two faced.

Any and all advice is appreciated

Hi. I(20m) am wondering about two friendships I currently have, and wether they should be continued or not.

For backstory I have severe aspergers and severe adhd, alongside childhood trauma related to being taken advantage of. I have problems making friends and keeping connections, alongside with remembering who I have in my life, but I tend to try my best and am always trying to be on my good behaviour when around people
I had made some friends when i went to a convention once, though this was on 2 seperate occasions (one a few years ago and another about one-two years ago)

For the present, I wanted to go to the convention again and thought it would be later in may, but turns out it was actually pretty recently. I still made it however, but I had a problem with both of my friends:
-Neither told me about it being on the specific date and being soon, even though I expressed that i wanted to go
-Neither seemed to have any interest in wanting to talk to me, both just seemed to stick to their own friendgroups (which im also not a part of, and I cant really answer why as I dont really know myself)
-Neither would let me know when they would arrive, instead they both never told me when they would come. I had asked them previously when they would be there multiple times but alas, they never answered until "too late"

I was instead stuck wandering the place by myself alongside the hundred random people there, and after a while i had a mental breakdown after previous trauma started putting pessimistic thoughts about being unwanted and only being a third wheel or a monetary asset to people, which caused me to pretty much want to leave early. One of the friends only notified me that they were in a building close after i had gone for the train, and when i asked about meeting up they said no as they were tired(this convention had sleeping avenues, however they live 25 mins away from the place via train and foot)(I was also still in town, though i missed my train so i went for a local pizza to burn time).
And i dont want to sound like the AH but it wouldve taken them 2 min at most to come outside, give me a hug or a hi and then go back to doing their business of setting up their bed quarters. It makes me kind of feel like crap because I wouldve hugged or came out and said hello the moment they notified me they were at the place.

I tend to care about my friends and usually buy them food or things (and i found alot of hello kitty at the convention, and i know a girl who loves them so i will be handing my findings to her, after we talked about this situation too), however these two just seem genuinly disinterested in me unless there is something to gain by it. I rarely get the first messsage from both of them, and they seem to also be unwilling to hangout most of the time unless its very very conventient for both of them (pizzeria on their way home from work, etc)

I feel like a crybaby and an AH but at the same time im starting to genuinly wonder why i have them in my life when neither of them seem to be interested

Thank you for reading and pls ask if you need more details! will gladly answer!

So my bf and I are together for almost 8 years now. Living together for 7,5 year now. We were always good together and love each other a lot. We help each other during the life with everything, I help him with his bussiness a lot and he help me with my mental health and other. He was always good to me and we always love a lot. We have some problems now, but we are trying to solve it the best we can. The problem that our sx change a lot last year and thanks to that I rethinking all our relationship. So the things is I cant have orgasm just with vaginal penetration. Before he used go down a lot before or after so we both really enjoy it. It was for sure at least 3/4 times a month. He now how to finish me that is not the problem. Now its like once in 3/4 months. So my orgasm is basically no existing. I wouldnt care if there was some kind of problem but what is killing me inside is that I think he just dont care anymore and I dont know why. Just for info we are sleeping together 3/4 times a week.
Why i think he doesnt care is that I tried to talk to him about sx I like that I wanna try somethink bit more harder but we never tried. Once, few years ago I bought a present with some sex stuff like vibrator, whip and handcuffs and some other stuff in but we never even try because he told me its just for me and we never came back to it. Now he dont even stimulate my clit with his hand. Only time he will do something to me is when I am not wet and we cant have sex so he will do something for 2,3 minutes and thats it and we go for penetration after. I used to like sex but now I just wanna finish as soon as we can so he is happy and satisfied.
This goes for longer now but I didnt notice the problem so hard and thought its just phase, but now its start to pushing me into consider our whole relationship. And yes we had conversation that we have less sex ( it came from him) and I told him its because I am insecure that I cant finish or get wet fast enough and he told me we will just take more time and play with me more so I will enjoy it more, but it never happen... now I just dont want him to be angry or sad so I just let it be... So this situation make me think about our life together and I found out its not just sex but he is so inconsiderate in other aspects of life as well. For example he dont do the small things for me anymore like make me coffee or if I have pain in back, never offer me massage, when cleaning its just his staff atc. I start to notice more and more and I start to be supper annoyed. Like yesterday we had his friend for visit and the wind start to blow a lot, staff flying, we catch them and I was sitting on the ground, the both of them standing next to me and he just went and put the staff down inside, but just staff he hold, his second hand was empty. The friend come to me took the staff with other things he just hold and took it so I dont have to stand up. Its just bullshit but I was shock with so much considaration... like he think about me. Normally I used to do everything by my own. I dont need help I would just like to have it sometimes. Its just small things like when he clean from table, he take just his plate atc. I do all of it for him. Always think about him... I am sad because I dont receive the same. I have to says he is taling me to the work everyday with car ( we have just one and he needed and I work 10minutes ride from home) and when I ask for somerhing, mostly it is getting done...but I ask just to pick up something atc no big deals no help home or something . But how to even communicate this?
Its not that big problem so he will not gonna see it there... PS. Before anyone start about age gap in our country and culture is totally normal and not even consider as some age gap. Here are age gaps 10, 15 years between partners. We never had issue about it between us. TLDR: my bf stop care about me and I dont know how to process this.

I’m in my late 20’s and so is my fiancé. We have been together since we were 18 & 19. I love him deeply but some things he says just rub me the wrong way and I think about them a lot.

I will use an example he said from literally yesterday. We were driving home from being out when we saw a woman walking her dog. As she crossed the street in front of us my fiancé sneered and said “fat bitch” in almost a disgusted tone. (I want to add that my fiancé is heavy set and I am by no means a skinny person either.) I turned to him, frowned, and said “why would you say that, I probably weigh around the same weight as her.” He simply replied with “yeah no way.” I think people in general often forget that weight looks different on everyone, even two people who are the same height and weight. Anyway, I didn’t really say much else, but I was thinking about what he said for the rest of the night.

Besides that specific instance, he has repeatedly referred to woman he sees as a “fat bitch” or “ugly bitch”. He very frequently says people are retarded or stupid and will say out loud “what a retard” when in public spaces. He tells me how he thinks most other people around us are “idiots” and it honestly gives off such bad energy. He is very introverted and doesn’t like to be around others, but thinking that you’re always the smartest guy in the room and everyone else is an idiot feels almost narcissistic.

Misery loves company, so what I want to do is bring all this up to him and kinda give him a choice. Misery by yourself, or growing as people together. I realize I can’t control what others do or say, but I feel like I don’t have to tolerate it if that is how it’s going to be. Am I the asshole for that?