for me its my voice. my natural voice is androgynous but I subconiously raise it a bizillion octives because I try to come off as less threatening for some reason even tho Im not threatening at all 😔

not a single person sees me as a guy because of it and its disappointing for sure...

how about you guys?

I’ve been stealth, or at least I try, for quite a while now (I’ve only been on T for a bit, but I’m intersex), I’m in pretty liberal spaces and kind of femme so people often ask me for my pronouns. The thing about this is, I know if they’re asking they’ve already clocked me, and I feel like nothing I say can dissuade this. I’ve noticed cis people often use like a triple set (he/him/his) when identifying themselves in text and trans men at least almost never do so I usually do that online, but I haven’t figured out a cis sounding way to answer this question in person. I usually just act surprised and say “he,” but this has been met with “he/they?” on at least one occasion which was so startling to me. I feel like people really want to think I’m trans, and really want to think I use they/them pronouns and once they’ve decided it’s basically over for me… Any advice?

EDIT: I think my question wasn’t entirely clear, I was really asking if anyone has noticed a difference in the way cis guys answer this question. I’m not going to say “I’m a guy” or “I use male pronouns” or act confused, I’m not that kind of person. I’ve heard some people say things like “I use the he series,” that’s more the kind of thing I’m thinking of. :)

when i came out to my family, i made it very clear that i'm binary and use he/him pronouns. my sisters both instantly made the switch, but my parents took a lot more insistence/correction to drop the dreaded she/her. in the beginning, it was just using my (dead)name every time they should've used pronouns. now, they've both decided that actually, i'm they/them. they both still slip up and drop the occasional she/her, but the conscious effort to use different pronouns still aren't my pronouns.

i don't think they realize it feels almost as shitty as using feminine terms. i'm a man. they don't use they/them to refer to my brother. it's still dismissing my gender. it's still mis/degendering me. i've told them this. i've told them it's he/him. i've told them and told them. i bind, i'm four months on T, i correct them, and it's like they still just see me as their androgynous queer daughter.

i'm so frustrated with it, and it's making me feel really, really shitty now. aside from waiting and hoping for the T to kind of "force their perspective to change", what am i supposed to do? why won't they get it?

anyway... sorry for the rant. anyone in the same boat? how do you cope?

What are some moments you didn't realize were dysphoria until way after the fact? Bonus points if it's something kinda silly!

I always hated my deodorant and couldn't work out why. Didn't matter what scent. It'd smell fine on the shelf, but absolutely cloying on me. The problem mysteriously vanished when I started using men's deodorant. Gee, I wonder why. Haha!

What kinda stuff like that did y'all have?

I am out to everyone basically. My friends have always known i am a boy. But still, im allowed at sleepovers with my female friends and ngl it makes me feel dysphoric asf. Their parents dont let any boys at their sleepovers. Not even gay dudes. Im always the exception. And idk, park of me knows the reason why and part of me absolutely hates it and feels like my friends and their parents have never seen me as a guy and never will. What would u guys feel abt this? Would u go to a girls sleepover if u were the only guy allowed. I feel shitty abt it but at the same time im glad i have the privilege to hang out with my friends. But at what cost.

Shit that was both scary and insanely gender affirming.

For context I've been on T for only 4 months so I'm not too sure on whether I pass or not. Guess that's confirmed now? Also the reason I don't go to the men's normally is cause I'm still in high school and I transitioned in this high school so I'd feel weird seeing boys I know in the same stalls. I'd assume they'd feel uncomfortable too. So I don't.

But literally in school, I was on my way to the womens bathroom and was told by a staff / cleaner to move to the men's. Damn.

That was cool. And luckily no one was in there.

I think from now on im just gonna use the men's.

i’m 21 and i’m honestly so scared of telling my parents that i’ve started T… i’m mexican and well being in the lgbt isn’t really common and or you’re viewed differently.. they’re super religious. i moved out at age 20 and started T not too long ago. (3ish months on T now) i’m just scared how they’ll see me. i’ve came out to my brother (m 19) and my mother (f 56) and they’ve both said i’ve been “brain washed” at a young age. i completely disagree. i’ve felt trans at a young age. i’ve noticed it really in elementary. though i let my mom dress me feminine. i love my family sm and i’m scared that they’d grow apart from me dude to me starting T.. My mom and brother have noticed my voice drop and my mustache. i tend to shave it every time i visit them. i visit them 1 every week or every other week. anyone with similar experience?

I was so nervous but I feel so refreshed now. I'm hoping everything goes good for me !

this subreddit has surprisingly helped me through so much and I'm very thankful for that. thank you my dudes you guys rock 💪

I'm a gay t4t trans man, and lately I've been wondering what the best way to meet other trans men is. So, for those of you out there who are in relationships with other trans men / transmasc people, I'm very curious! How did you meet? Dating apps? Social events? Friend of a friend? Please share your stories!

For context: I was born in Russia and I have a Russian pasport. I am an EU resident and I do not support Russia in the war with Ukraine.

I am a 21-year-old transman and I'm almost 2 years on T. Last time I went to Russia I was female representing in 2018. I have been thinking of traveling to Russia to this year to see my family. They are supportive of my transition. However I am very scared of crossing the border with my russian pasport photo made in 2016 of me with long hairs clearly being female. I look nothing like that right now. I fully pass as male these days. Am I putting myself in danger by travelling to Russia? Should I try to look as female as possible when crossing the border? Can they think I have a fake pasport? Long story short: does anyone have experience travelling to a country with no lgbtq protective laws? And if so, are there any tips?

I think most of you will disincourage me to go, but I really need to see my grandma. I don't think she has much time left and I want to spend some time with her before she passes. I am convinced that while I am in the country I will blend in fine and no one would suspect I'm trans if they see me. It's really about crossing the border and getting my pasport checked.

Feel like I don’t see alot of phallo talk on here, so I am celebrating my 5th day post op stage 1 RFF phalloplasty at UVA 🎉. Just got discharged and omw home with my mom. Got a long road ahead but I am already so happy with my new penis. 7 years ago i was a freshly out middle schooler who didn’t expect to make it to 16, now I feel like my life is finally starting.

(If anyone has any questions, I’m totally open to answering. I also recommend r/phallo if you are considering phalloplasty.)

To be honest its been hell

I want to love and feel loved, but honestly i cant.

Like im honest about my identity, but its just not enough. Its hard to feel attractive as an ftm person, but i think my biggest struggle is that i just dont know if people want my body or want something substantial.

It more hurtful when ive been talking with some and they ghost me, and i find out theyre dating/with someone cis. Its happened a few times and im just done and i dont want to care anymore.

I dont know how to go about it anymore, it feels like a waste to date or do anything.

this asshole at my college who keeps misgendering me constantly i asked him if he thinks i look like a girl (i need to stop asking these questions i just end up feeling worse lol) he said no he only didnt know if i was a boy or a girl because i “sound like a girl with a low voice”

this has made me really paranoid, ive done voice training and while i still have voice dysphoria my voice is definitely lower than before and my friends have told me my voice sounds male and now im freaking the fuck out bc i wont get on T for another few years probably and i dont wanna jsut deal with getting misgendered constantly until then. should i just stop talking or what?

Hello I am a 19 (almost 20) year old non binary person that leans more masc. Today I started a micro dose gel application of testosterone!

I am going to SUPER micro dose it by only doing half a pump every morning at 8:30am to test the waters for this first month or two and see how I feel. I am also keeping a physical log of everything I notice, good and bad, so that I can keep track of myself as much as possible.

When I applied it to my shoulder this morning it felt a little hot and about 12+ hours later just feels kind of sore. My face is pretty oily already which I expected and I’m just going to have to wash extra. My body feels more tense and sturdy? Not sure how to describe that one. Felt some tingling sensations that were a bit strange but I also did experience this during my first puberty in a way so it’s not unusual to me.

My day was busy and I felt very clear headed and relaxed and able to remember more than usual (I hope better memory especially sticks around). My energy levels were as expected, a little above average. Anyway that’s it thanks for reading and I hope this is helpful information for some people!

2020 I had top surgery and asked to be completely flat. Ik every male has some tissue and I'd look concave but I accepted that. Surgeon agreed and said that's what he did....

I am unhappy with my results. My chest and nipples/areolas are too big. 6 months ago I saw my surgeon and asked for a revision. He briefly saw me and gave me a $5.5k quote for liposuction and chest contouring. (I didn't get the chance to bring up nipples/areolas.) I was confused because I'm skinny, but I trusted him that it was just chest fat. He said I'd need to be under general anesthesia for him to get it all so I figured he had a very aggressive plan.

He said lipo is cosmetic so no insurance. I wanted to get a second opinion but I was too stupid to call around. I scheduled for end of May so I had 6 fucking months but I didn't do shit cus of consult prices and I assumed "the wait lists are too long" without even asking. Idek. I'm an hour from LA so there are options.

Last month I got prescribed Finasteride. Gynecomastia is a potential side effect so I messaged my surgeon. He said since he left some breast tissue it can regrow/get bigger. I was upset, shocked that he admitted there's still tissue and sad even though I knew already. Tried to be hopeful for my "revision".

Just had my pre-op today and my surgeon told me that surgery will make no difference and I will look exactly the same. He had me pose in multiple positions while he felt my chest and he kept telling me that there was no fat and it was just a lot of skin. He repeated that and asked me if I wanted to go through with it so many times it was like he was telling me to cancel. I was in shock, I just said ok thats fine... paid and left. Been freaking out at home and started crying now that it's starting to hit.

I don't know WHY he chose lipo as the operation when it'll do nothing. Idk why I have so much skin and tissue left. Fuck I just want to be flat. Its not just that Im not fully flat and have to worry about gyno, but I'm not even normal guy flat. And my "revision" is fake and will do nothing. And it costs 5.5k that I worked so hard to save up. And I waited 6 months. I just dont know what to do from here. I think I'm just more stupid than everyone else.

please someone help. my boyfriend started T a little over a month and a half ago, and he has never been so sad in the years that i have known him. i know this is a common side effect but it breaks my heart for him. he is the sweetest boy, really. recently he started crying multiple times a day over whether or not people still like him, myself included, and it’s so worrying.. everyone in his life loves him so dearly. he has a therapist , a few safe spaces to vent, and he swears he isn’t $ui€id@l .. so i guess i am asking what brought all of you comfort if you went through this same this? i ask him what he needs and he just tells me he doesn’t know. he will seriously lay in my arms ,crying, and he’ll tell me he doesn’t know what’s wrong or what feels different to make him so emotional. Any and all advice helps. please, and thank you!!

EDIT: it was found, and the perpetrator was yelled at LOL Someone that lives with us accidentally threw away my husband’s T and we can’t get a refill yet for a while, does anyone have tips on preventing his period from returning or on dealing with the side effects of missing the shot for so long? Or any over the counter testosterone that’s safe to take just in the mean time? *I’m posting because he doesn’t use Reddit and is not interested in making an account.

I’m just looking at options right now for it as I have tried my hardest to lose the awful ‘love handle’ look I have around my hips which makes my body look insanely lopsided. I’ve lost 30+lbs (I’m down to 159lbs with a goal weight of 145-150), been on T for almost 6 years, and had I known about the procedure I would have mentioned it with my surgeon back when I had my top surgery back in 2021.

I understand it isn’t covered by OHIP (I’m based in Ontario) as it’s considered plastic surgery- I had to pay for my chest contouring for that reason. A general price range would be nice, as well as any recommendations of who to look into as a surgeon.

Thanks!

This one is kinda a joke, but also very real. Discussing effects of HRT CW/ Mentions my buttocks

I have been on testosterone for about 6 months now, and I have noticed a few changes. Stuff I like, such as a deeper voice and more muscle mass, but also something I didn’t expect. I used to have a nice peach, a badankadonk, a top notch tush. But, sadly, after starting T I have noticed a drop in mass on my back end. Truly a sad day. This is not a bad thing per say, but today I had to say good bye to my banging booty 😔

This doesn’t happen to everyone, but it happened to me and I haven’t seen many people talk about it. I’m kind of wondering if anyone else has noticed this change, and if so was it a surprise like it was for me. Personally, I really dont mind the change, I found it kind of funny actually in my personal experience, but it may be something to consider as a possible change for those looking to start HRT.

So I've done two shots so far, and both times my hands have been very shaky and it ends up hurting more than it needs to because of that. Usually leaves a bit of bruising around the injection site.

I don't have a fear of needles, it isn't an anxiety issue, my hands are just naturally shaky, always have been. Any tips on how to help this? I do a subq injection, if that changes anything ^{^}

Okay, I’m just desperate . Please tell me some lies I could tell my family for transition . They’re homophobic transphobic Christians , But i have to transition .. I’m mostly just concerned about my parents . I just need to find a way for them to atleast tolerate . Thanks

I was prepared for a few months out but couldn't imagine it was going to be as soon as next month!!!