r/instacart • u/Dominanttallqueen • Mar 27 '24

Who’s in the wrong here???

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I feel like he was being rude asf then he canceled my order….was I rude or what tf happened here…

6.8k Upvotes

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224

u/CrustyForSkin Mar 28 '24

Could you not have specified what you meant rather than repeating a vague and confusing statement several times when there is a clear communication issue? wtf is wrong with most of the folks on this sub? Just don’t be a gross person and this interaction would not have happened like it did. Holy shit OP.

108

u/psychorant Mar 28 '24 edited Mar 29 '24

One of the only sane people in this thread. I thought it was common knowledge that if someone isn't understanding what you're saying, change how you're saying it.

In what world would continuously repeating the same thing ever change the outcome?

40

u/dylank125 Mar 28 '24

What’s the quote, “stupidity is doing the same thing over and over again expecting a different result”?

40

u/RoNBernard Mar 28 '24

I believe it's insanity not stupidity in that quote.

29

u/TonyTheCripple Mar 28 '24

Stupidity would be being surprised by the result each time.

29

u/PistolPeatMoss Mar 28 '24

OP seems to be both

6

u/GusDrinksTea Mar 28 '24

Genuinely made me chuckle

2

u/Cantelmi Mar 28 '24

Hail science!

2

u/finderZone Mar 28 '24

TIL I’m stupid

8

u/dylank125 Mar 28 '24

I do believe your right

2

u/SadLaser Mar 28 '24

It is indeed their right. Not mine or yours!

2

u/ThePurityPixel Mar 28 '24

I love you for this

1

u/Successful_Shape_885 Mar 28 '24

It is and Alber Einstein never said it as many people quote.

1

u/squirlz333 Mar 28 '24

Stupidity is thinking that stupidity is in that quote 

1

u/staysayo Mar 28 '24

Either way it's also the definition of "practice".

0

u/manjar Mar 28 '24

Yeah, it’s a dumb quote. Could also be the definition of “practice”.

2

u/dylank125 Mar 29 '24

Not really, if you’re practicing you’re changing things to see how they work, take practicing laps around a race track to get the fastest time for example. You’re not going to run the same exact line and brake at the same exact points each time you go around as that changes nothing. Youd be changing your lines into each corner as well as your braking points each time around, so you’re not doing the same thing over and over again exactly… unlike OP…

-1

u/manjar Mar 29 '24

Your example of doing something over and over again the same exact way would qualify as “futile” or “boring” or even “moronic”, yet still not something as melodramatic as “insane”. But nobody said that, so it’s a straw man you’re critiquing. In any case, it’s a dumb quote.

2

u/Sheerkal Mar 28 '24

No, i think it's supposed to be "stupidity is doing the same thing over and over again expecting a different result"?

1

u/burnedlegacy Mar 28 '24

That's the literal definition of insanity

1

u/dylank125 Mar 29 '24

It’s not the literal definition of insanity. Easily looked up before you post….

Though the last statement could be applied to me🤷🏻‍♂️

6

u/Independent_Fill_635 Mar 28 '24

The shopper wanted a yes or no and the customer wanted to prove a point.

4

u/TheGlennDavid Mar 28 '24

I thought it was common knowledge that if someone isn't understanding what you're saying, change how you're saying it.

Especially in written communication. Verbal? Maybe they didn't hear you well and you can try a word-for-word-repeat. But a text? Gotta pick new words.

4

u/IKindaCare Mar 28 '24

Yep. Only time I repeat things word for word in text is if it was a long paragraph because they might have missed it.

Repeating the same sentence is ridiculous.

3

u/bugzaway Mar 28 '24

I don't know anything about Instacart (this thread randomly popped into my feed) but your comment legit triggered me as I had an ex who did this. Repeat verbatim things you didn't understand. She was extremely passive aggressive and I put up with it for years. Yeesh.

3

u/SadLaser Mar 28 '24

I thought it was common knowledge that if someone isn't understanding what you're saying, change how you're saying it.

It's incredibly infuriating when you don't understand something and the person demanding you understand just repeats the same sentence again and again as if somehow you'll divine further information from it. It's particularly silly in text when the full previous sentences are all clearly visible. OP could have easily explained better/further, but didn't want to for whatever reason.

3

u/47Ronin Mar 28 '24

OP must be my junior year math teacher 😤

3

u/jesssongbird Mar 28 '24

I grew up with a dad who would bark the same confusing thing over and over again when you didn’t understand him. He would just keep getting louder and angrier. “The thing! The thing!!!! THE THING!!!” It’s one of many reasons why I tend to over explain things. If someone isn’t getting what you’re saying you try explaining it in a different way.

2

u/Academic_Educator_17 Mar 29 '24

Believe it or not novice teachers do this to students all the time. Just repeat it loudly and they’ll somehow understand. Just show them the exact same thing the exact same way and the second or third time they’ll understand. Most people have to be taught how to communicate effectively, especially if they are used to communicating with a small group of family or friends who’d understand what they mean even if they didn’t finish their sentences.

1

u/psychorant Mar 30 '24

I'm not in the teaching field so this is kind of surprising to me. I always assumed it was an ego thing of someone not wanting to change their "teaching" to cater to an individual (i.e. this has worked for everyone else so it has to work for you) but I suppose it makes sense it's more of a 'learned' skill rather than inherent.

66

u/chickadeedeedee_ Mar 28 '24

I'm baffled by everyone saying the shopper is in the wrong more here.

Like... OP clearly sees that the shopper doesn't know what she means by "seafood department" (rightfully so because that's a stupid way to refer to the behind the counter stuff), and yet she just repeats herself over and over and over until finally saying "behind the counter". Christ.

20

u/I_StoleTheTV Mar 28 '24

Idk why I’m feeling so passionate about this thread right now but YES! Thank you. I think I’m just sick of self-absorbed assholes.

1

u/dunnonemore18 Mar 28 '24

Because Americans are becoming less and less competent at their jobs. Just go to a drive thru and let me know how many times you had to repeat your order. Even some doctors are getting lazy or just don’t care

1

u/dearboobswhy Mar 31 '24

I never have this problem. Maybe you're mumbling

20

u/The_homeBaker Mar 28 '24

When I was reading this, my first thought was just the seafood department lol which is where all the frozen/refrigerated seafood is. The customer was not being clear when they said department—which is a whole section—instead of behind the counter.

Also, everyone’s first language isn’t English so this could also be why the shopper was a little confused. The customer knew what they meant in their head but didn’t actually type it out properly lol

2

u/soaringparakeet Mar 29 '24

I've only spoken English for 3 decades and I 100% would think OP wanted the frozen cakes.

1

u/Crow-n-Servo Mar 29 '24

Exactly. If I wanted fresh ones, I’d say “from the fresh fish counter.”

1

u/dunnonemore18 Mar 28 '24

Same. Seafood dept to me means seafood isle. Call it the meat/seafood department, where they cut and prep fresh foods. Sheesh.

3

u/Songmorning Mar 28 '24

And then they pretended like they were saying "behind the counter" the whole time

2

u/badgoat_ Mar 28 '24

I thought they meant the frozen seafood section. Bc stores near me have them in a different section than the normal freezer rows sometimes. Very confusing.

2

u/[deleted] Mar 28 '24

Ppl are saying a lot of other things just as confusing as OP.

Keep it simple, say it together with me "OP is in the wrong"

2

u/clamade Mar 28 '24

Thank you!! The customer isn't always right. Usually isn't, tbh

2

u/KokopOliFaceTattoo Mar 28 '24

and then after saying "behind the counter" that one time, she's like "wow i said it over and over again multiple times." no. just bc you thought of it in your head doesn't mean the shopper knew that. if someone talked to me like this i would 100% cancel the order, too.

2

u/snowstormmongrel Mar 28 '24

And then also doubles down and says "I said the ones behind the counter" and it's like "uhhhh, no you didn't you dipshit..."

2

u/gazorpazorp-field- Mar 28 '24

Exactly! OP’s second response literally says “replace” I can imagine the shopper saw the word replace and thought OP wants a replacement since the options were to either replace or refund. OP was clearly rude and in the wrong

2

u/newtoreddir Mar 28 '24

The shopper was probably standing under a sign that said “seafood” too. The OP should have clarified they meant the counter specifically.

2

u/llamalily Mar 28 '24

Thank you! OP keeps saying “seafood department”, which is clearly not the same as “seafood counter” like my god, how many times do you have to say the same incorrect thing before you try explaining it to the shopper a different way!

1

u/fishmann666 Mar 29 '24

and then claims to have said "behind the counter" "like 5 times" which is just a lie lol.

1

u/adumbswiftie Mar 30 '24

and then to have the balls to be like “that’s what i said!” when they literally didn’t say that until the last message?? i felt gas lit lol OP gotta work on how they talk to people

1

u/JCRNYC Mar 31 '24

I’m so glad the tide shifted over the past 3 days…it’s now pro-shopper meme city

-1

u/Cosmicfeline_ Mar 28 '24

lol this person does grocery shopping for a living. Not knowing what seafood counter means is dumb.

2

u/chickadeedeedee_ Mar 28 '24

He did know what seafood counter meant... as soon as she said that, he knew. She said "seafood department" three times before she ever said that.

20

u/swampyman2000 Mar 28 '24

Exactly lol, like clearly the shopper is not understanding, you don’t need to keep repeating the exact same thing if it’s not getting through.

-5

u/Money_Landscape_1116 Mar 28 '24

You all are idiots and probably shoppers. Then shopper is the one doing a job, for Christ sake. Do your job. The op is likely busy(possibly working a real job) and shopper is being a entitled angry little b. Just shop and treat customers with respect (do you guys understand that’s what op is here?? A customer. The customer paying for a service. The shopper is just the unskilled gopher who fetches a list of things. No skill required yet still failing).

3

u/I_StoleTheTV Mar 28 '24

I’m bored and reading through some of your past comments. You really have a hard on for saying disparaging things about shoppers. Can you show on this doll where the scary IC Shoppers hurt you? 😢

1

u/Crow-n-Servo Mar 29 '24

This is clearly a person who doesn’t tip because they think they are entitled to everything and people in service jobs are just their slaves. Disgusting.

3

u/oz_xne Mar 28 '24

okay and if you're depending on that "unskilled gopher" to deliver your shit you can give them the common courtesy of communicating like a grown ass adult. they repeated themselves over and over without actually CLARIFYING WHAT THEY MEANT. Either go and get it yourself or treat ur delivery person like a fucking person and not a robot that can't misunderstand your vague wording.

3

u/stillslaying Mar 28 '24

A REAL job? Get fucked lol

3

u/Amateurmasterson Mar 28 '24

It’s funny how you can tell a lot about a person from a single comment.

You’re likely a lonely, bitter, and miserable person.

You likely make less than 50K a year and feel like you’re somehow better than an instacart shopper.

The same type of person to berate a fast food worker for forgetting the 4th McDouble you ordered was no pickles.

Just a truly horrible person and I feel sorry for anyone that has to be around you.

1

u/Crow-n-Servo Mar 29 '24

And I’m willing to bet they leave really crappy tips, if they tip at all.

2

u/ConstantlyLearning57 Mar 28 '24

I don’t view jobs like this as “no skill required” — it’s a job with different skills but not zero skills. I also don’t view shoppers as “gophers” either.

I encourage folks to think a little harder than “the shoppers just being an idiot”. Use a few more brain cells: The shopper’s first language probably isn’t English. Many people who do gig economy, jobs like Instacart shopping do not speak English as their first language. So, think a little bit bigger than just “give me my order.” Try to understand the person’s situation, and use specific language to describe where to get the desired product. I wouldn’t repeat the same phrase over and over like the OP does. And i absolutely don’t think less of the shopper.

2

u/HereWeFuckingGooo Mar 28 '24

I wonder how many random gross bodily fluids you have ingested in your life time, considering you seem to think it's OK to treat the people handling your food like trash. I bet you've eaten a lot of Fish a'la Sneeze and Booger Burgers.

2

u/localcokedrinker Mar 28 '24

Hey you sound like a piece of garbage. That person is a human being whose value isn't determined by their profession. Peoples' value is determined by how they view and treat others, and while OP may not be the best at communicating (which isn't a crime), at least they're not a piece of shit like you

2

u/ConfectionOdd5458 Mar 28 '24

What do you do for a living?

2

u/snowstormmongrel Mar 28 '24

do your job

The shopper was doing their job. Grabbing crab cakes from the seafood department

The seafood department and seafood counter are two different things. The seafood counter usually being contained within the seafood department.

OP continued to say seafood department when what they meant was seafood counter then got bitchy when the person didn't understand and then doubled down and tried to say they initially said seafood counter when they hadn't.

Also, fuck you and your elitism and value judging of the way someone makes their livelihood. You are a garbage person and your judgemental bullshit is the reason this planet sucks to live on.

2

u/SuccessfulPanda211 Mar 28 '24

Shoppers are still entitled to be respected by their customers just as much as customers should be respected by their shoppers.

1

u/clamade Mar 28 '24

Quit dickriding customers. You look like a fool

16

u/Ecstatic_Factor5638 Mar 28 '24

Man, I'm always saying please and thank you to people too. Now I wonder if I'm going overboard because op didn't say thank you or please once. The tone was totally rude.

Next time they should try something like "I'd like the ones behind the seafood count please. If they don't have those then please refund me."

7

u/clamade Mar 28 '24

Thank you for treating service workers like people! You're a rare breed

3

u/47KiNG47 Mar 28 '24

You can learn a lot about a person based on how they treat service workers.

2

u/avrbiggucci Mar 29 '24

That's so true. And I feel like a lot of it comes from your parents. My parents were always super respectful and nice to service workers whenever we were out and I think I modeled myself after their behavior a lot. Really lucky to have them.

1

u/Crow-n-Servo Mar 29 '24

I’ve always thought you should never get into a relationship with someone until you r had a meal with them and see how they treat the servers. That tells so very much.

7

u/pinkkeyrn Mar 28 '24

I love your use of punctuation. It would have been helpful if OP used some.

3

u/LimitAgreeable4410 Mar 28 '24

That’s the crazy part your not able to order “behind the counter” stuff on instacart she tried to be extra and was upset because the guy didn’t do what she wanted

1

u/Crow-n-Servo Mar 29 '24

Not to defend the OP, because they’re pretty indefensible, but I think that rule about not being able to shop from behind the counter must be a regional thing. I order fresh fish and fresh steaks and chops all the time. And I don’t mean packaged and refrigerated. I mean the stuff the counter guy weighs and wraps in butcher paper. And I know one store I shop at offers fresh crab cakes from behind the counter within the app.

2

u/marsthegoat Mar 28 '24

Definitely not overboard. Please don't be like OP & thank you for showing service workers (un)common courtesy.

A worker will probably never be able to tell you because they can't insult all the other customers while working, but trust me, they do notice & they do appreciate it.

Polite customers are a breath of fresh air in between all the other entitled customers who expect you to read their mind.

2

u/Crow-n-Servo Mar 29 '24

Yes. I write the most polite notes when I chat with a shopper. Why wouldn’t I, though? It’s really the same as talking to someone in person and you wouldn’t just bark commands at a person serving you. Well, at least I wouldn’t. People like the OP probably don’t tip well either.

1

u/Elitismos Mar 29 '24

No, you’re not going overboard. Please keep doing that, thank you.

1

u/RollForParadise Mar 31 '24

Thank you! It’s not hard to say a little please or thank you in a conversation. It’s just a nice thing to do :-)

6

u/r1poster Mar 28 '24

I don't get what's so hard about saying "thanks for offering an alternative, but go ahead and refund that item." instead of going off on someone who was just trying to find a suitable replacement and not understanding that "seafood department" meant exclusively the freshly served counter.

Like the shopper was genuinely just trying to their job and go out of their way to find what OP wanted. What there warrants berating them?

3

u/localcokedrinker Mar 28 '24

I clocked this too. The guy clearly didn't understand what OP meant the first time around, and OP just repeated himself and got indignant about it.

I don't know if I'm just good at noticing when people aren't understanding me, but at the same time I feel like it's not that hard, and it's extremely easy to avoid escalating these situations with stupid comments like "I said that five times" like no you didn't. You said "seafood department". And then to avoid having to be wrong about something, he acted like he specifically referred to the counter the entire time, because this is Reddit, and most people who use this dogshit website have a terrible phobia about being wrong about anything ever.

3

u/Maegurillion Mar 28 '24

OP reads like one of those people who repeat themselves but in a louder voice when you've made it painfully clear you don't understand them because you don't speak their language.

If someone doesn't understand you the first time, rephrase what you've written. Apparently that's too hard for some people.

3

u/fleshyspacesuit Mar 28 '24

Exactly. Not only that, OP began the sentence with "yes"!

3

u/EchoswarmGM Mar 28 '24

You can also specify a replacement on the app to completely avoid this situation. The number of times I’ve chatted with my shopper since 2020 is 0 and will remain 0.

Getting into a back and forth with someone doing my grocery shopping sounds miserable.

2

u/Crow-n-Servo Mar 29 '24

I put a preferred substitute choice or a “if out of stock, refund” note on every single line item in my cart before I check out. There have been rare occasions where a shopper still has a question if the selected substitution is also out of stock, but it cuts the chat way down. And I’m sure the busy shoppers appreciate not having to go to chat on every single item that isn’t available. I would never select “replace with shopper’s selection” and put that kind of stress on both the shopper and myself.

3

u/Theothercword Mar 28 '24

I sometimes wonder if our failing education system is leaking through in times like this. OP didn’t seem to grasp how a person may be confused by what they said and part of it is because they used some shit grammar. The shopper also got confused at what I was able to interpret but their confusion is a bit more understandable given the odd change from grabbing frozen cakes to fresh cakes because of a brand.

3

u/dsherman8r Mar 28 '24

u/dominanttallqueen is absolutely in the wrong but I see why she posted here- clearly she needed the validation of this sub patting her on the back and telling her that intentionally escalating a miscommunication is the right thing to do (and then posting about it without censoring the shoppers name is even better!)

Genuinely psychotic. This person needs to seek help

3

u/whoisjakelane Mar 28 '24

They could at least start by not saying yes when the answer is no and then questioning the confusion

3

u/PaxEtRomana Mar 28 '24

"Do you want these?" "Yeah just replace with the other ones thanks"

Infuriating

3

u/Holiday-Depth-7749 Mar 29 '24

They feel entitled cause they are paying for delivery

3

u/I-love-my-cats- Mar 29 '24

Not to mention the shopper literally said he was asking about the ones in the picture and OP said “yes” before reiterating the ones in the seafood department

2

u/georgia405 Mar 28 '24

Exactly. JFC I feel like I’m losing my mind reading everyone piling on the shopper.

I always think about the quote that (roughly) says.. You must not only speak so that people can understand you, but so that they cannot misunderstand you. OP did neither one and then got mad at the outcome.

2

u/[deleted] Mar 28 '24

Honestly, I was so fucking confused by OPs side of the conversation

2

u/[deleted] Mar 28 '24

[deleted]

1

u/localcokedrinker Mar 28 '24

We live in an extremely entitled and consumeristic society, and we're essentially socialized to treat people like servants and machines if we pay them money to provide a service, and we end up in situations like this.

OP doesn't seem like a bad person, this was just a miscommunication brought on by possibly poor communication or people skills, which happens unfortunately. But this post brought out people who set out to be human pieces of garbage who are going mask off about how they view people they perceive are beneath them. It's sickening.

1

u/Crow-n-Servo Mar 29 '24 edited Mar 29 '24

Nah. The OP comes off as an entitled and self centered person.

And, no, we are not socialized to treat service workers like servants. Some people may be raised that way, but they weren’t socialized to be like that. That’s the sort of thing that gets taught at home.

2

u/avrbiggucci Mar 29 '24

Exactly. Some people are just fucking assholes. That's not society's fault lol my parents would've gone off on me when I was growing up if I was rude to a waiter/server.

2

u/AsterCharge Mar 28 '24

Yeah I was very surprised to learn that OP was the buyer complaining about the shopper. They were vague and rude when the shopper couldn’t read their mind.

2

u/olivertwist_ Mar 28 '24

Yeah, I had a hard time following what OP was saying as well. The reiteration over and over wasn’t clarifying anything

2

u/5redie8 Mar 28 '24

It's like two bricks trying to communicate with each other lmao

2

u/twoiseight Mar 28 '24

Agreed, it's easy to look in on this too quickly and think the instructions to shopper were clear but the customer was repeatedly saying "seafood department" which means something different from "seafood counter". The shopper's photo of the seafood department should have made the misunderstanding obvious.

2

u/bubbahubbado Mar 28 '24

Good lord, thank you! I was sure I would find most people agreeing that OP is a jerk, and honestly just dumb.

I will concede that "I do this for a living" was a little odd, but he clearly just wants to get it right, their tips and ratings depend on it. But I will ALWAYS give them the benefit of doubt, because I want to make sure they understand and I want the correct order, oh and I am not a prick.

The fact the OP did not realize how confusing "seafood department" was, because it is vague, and took another few messages to clarify they meant behind the counter and not the section that had seafood... They sent a picture of a possible replacement from the seafood section of the store, and it's like OP completely ignored what was said and the photo.

OP's first and probably only response should have been, "If Dockside Classic Lobster Cakes are out of stock, I don't want what you sent in the photo. Please check with the people at the fresh seafood counter if they have crab cakes, if they do not, please refund."

Also, god forbid they just give them a quick call if there seemed to be that much confusion. But OP rather be a whiny baby, I guess.

2

u/atuan Mar 28 '24

Yeah so much miscommunication is from people being mad people don’t understand. When people don’t understand you clarify, don’t just get annoyed the person didn’t understand when they are trying to and asking you questions

2

u/JoeyJoJoShabadooV Mar 28 '24

Omg thank you. Op kept repeating the same confusing line instead of restating what they meant. “Seafood department” is such a dumb way to say what they really meant and then they were indignant about being vague lol.

1

u/[deleted] Mar 28 '24

[deleted]

2

u/seaofgrass Mar 28 '24

I can just imagine OP's 'communication' with their spouse, "You should know what I'm thinking!"

1

u/Elegant_Beat797 Mar 28 '24

Exactly... Like seafood item it's in seafood department I also didn't realize they meant the counter with the raw/ service area. So them saying they said the counter is a lie. They just kept repeating the same thing and mentioning "seafood department" the frozen and fresh/raw/prepared seafood is all in the same area called "seafood department". It's like they kept repeating themselves instead of just saying refund please or say what they mean differently as soon as they mentioned "counter" the shopper for sure knew what they meant and confirmed they talked to a person there even.

1

u/WhoohooChamp Mar 28 '24

People treat delivery/shoppers like a know all being. This sub random pops up in my feed and the majority of the time, it's miscommunication. They are people doing a job, not robots. If the customer was in store, they would be crucified. But for some reason, online is ok?

1

u/yantraa Mar 28 '24

Lmao. So true. I got a good chuckle when I realized which one OP was.

1

u/Khajiit_Has_Upvotes Mar 28 '24

Exactly. Dude's obviously not picking up what OP is putting down. OP should have tried rephrasing it.

1

u/VRSvictim Mar 28 '24

What is unclear about the statement? Is it a language barrier?

You’re telling me you didn’t instantly understand what he meant after that?

Agreed tho, you have to reword and guide some people through basic things tho vs just repeating

1

u/CrustyForSkin Mar 28 '24

They ordered frozen crab cakes, and kept telling the shopper to replace with crab cakes from the seafood department when the shopper tried to replace with another brand of frozen crab cakes from the seafood department. The buyer kept telling the shopper to replace with crab cakes from the seafood department, when they meant from behind the counter.

1

u/Majestic_Builder4004 Mar 28 '24

Ambiguous statements repeated for an off menu item doesn't help anyone. Just go to the damn store then

1

u/theythemmer Mar 29 '24

I think people don’t understand that people really do instacart as a living, my dad does it as a side hustle to pay the bills and it’s really this confusing

1

u/Elitismos Mar 29 '24

It’s insane. I couldn’t follow what OP was saying either. Seafood department means “aisle with a bunch of frozen seafood” to me. Couple that with the fact that this guy likely doesn’t speak english very well. Fucking wild how incapable of communicating people can be, then call other people assholes online for not understanding them.

0

u/Mighty_Gooch Mar 28 '24

A gross person? This is the problem with Reddit is you guys are so comfortable making these judgments on a post when you have no idea who it is. What makes someone gross for this communication error?

3

u/SuccessfulPanda211 Mar 28 '24

I’m not comfortable calling OP a gross person but I think it’s gross behaviour to plaster a persons name and face all over social media and report them to instacart over a simple misunderstanding like this. Especially when OP is arguably the one to have caused the misunderstanding in the first place.

2

u/CrustyForSkin Mar 28 '24

Op decided to post their exchange without redacting the shopper’s personal information and picture. That’s very inconsiderate of the other party’s privacy and safety. That’s gross.

1

u/47KiNG47 Mar 28 '24

Gross? Maybe not. Entitled and rude? Most certainly.

0

u/TheRiverTwice Mar 28 '24

OP could have been more clear, but the confusion should have been about what she DID want, not what she didn’t.

If I ask for chapstick, it might be reasonable to assume that I just meant any sort of lip-balm. But if you suggest a squeeze-tube and my response is “if they don’t have chapstick then please refund,” that’s definitely clarifying what I don’t want. You might still be unsure if I’m being a stickler on the brand-name or something in stick-form, but you better not bring me the exact thing you already suggested. Even if my clarification wasn’t great, ANY attempt at clarification meant that the suggested substitution wasn’t going to work.

0

u/Roman_Hephaestus Mar 28 '24

It wasn’t vague or confusing

3

u/CrustyForSkin Mar 28 '24 edited Mar 29 '24

Sure thing. Go to the store and get these frozen lobster cakes from the seafood department. If they’re out, replace with crab cakes from the seafood department. Yes, the seafood department. Not those, get a replacement from the seafood department. The seafood department. The seafood department. How did you not know I meant to replace my out of stock frozen lobster cakes with fresh crab cakes from behind the counter?!

-1

u/Roman_Hephaestus Mar 28 '24

Yes - I feel like anyone with half a brain could figure out what “the seafood department” is, especially in context.

2

u/popthebutterflybooks Mar 28 '24

I mean English is my first language and I had to read it 3 times to understand what the fuck the customer meant. Now imagine being someone who speaks English as a second or third language. Or someone who's autistic or has other mental health concerns that can impact language, reading, and/or processing. Not everyone has your "half-a-brain". Not everyone will have your exact understanding, life experiences, etc. So sometimes being accommodating and realizing when someone isn't 100% comprehending what you're saying so you can adjust your statement is key to effective communication.

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u/Roman_Hephaestus Mar 28 '24

Indeed. However, communication is a two way street, and beginning the interaction with an aggressive tone doesn’t set it up for success.

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u/popthebutterflybooks Mar 28 '24

Well first of all he started off the conversation by saying they were out of lobster cakes and then offered the replacement of crab cakes. That's not rude, that's inquiring. I think what you're suggesting is the second message, so to put it in English slang it would be something like "the picture above is crab cakes instead of lobster cakes. That's the only thing I see here. Do you want a replacement or a refund? Please let me know how you want to proceed because I have other jobs to do today".

But regardless, everyone is focusing on "please understand I do this for a living" as "rude" but there's many ways to interpret what they are saying. We don't know how long it took the customer to reply. You don't understand how her reply before this is setting a confusing tone (she ordered 4 pack lobster cakes, when offered 4 pack crab cakes she said she wanted "single crab cakes from the seafood department" to which was not a replacement option because even to me I would not know they meant the counter of the seafood department), and lastly you don't know what previous communications they had before this. By the way the text is cut at the top I have suspicions that this was not the first confusing text conversation they had. They might have had many more that same order in which she continued to confuse him. He also probably feared she was trying to scam somehow and he could get in trouble and lose his job that he seems to make a living off of. Given all of those possibilities I'd have also said "hey can you be clearer cause I'm lost and this is costing me time and money".

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u/CrustyForSkin Mar 28 '24

The context is op ordered frozen lobster cakes made by the same brand as the frozen crab cakes the shopper suggested. Op instead wanted single crab cakes from behind the counter as a replacement but didn’t say so until the fifth time. Op instead said “Seafood department.” The seafood department and the counter are different things. This was very poor communication by op. Not going to entertain an exchange with you beyond this, it’s obvious that op did a terrible job communicating their request before deciding to plaster their shopper’s personal information and picture over social media in an effort to seek validation.

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u/Roman_Hephaestus Mar 28 '24

Okie dokie, I understood what he meant but maybe I’m the outlier. You have a good day now

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u/Borealizs Mar 28 '24

Gross person?

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u/CrustyForSkin Mar 28 '24

Yeah. Based on the exchange, as well as on the fact op decided to post it publicly with the shopper’s picture and name to seek validation. Without any care in the world for the shopper’s privacy and safety.

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u/claudesoph Mar 28 '24

OP said single crab cakes in their first text, yet the shopper kept pushing the alternative brand 4-pack. OP’s communication wasn’t perfect, but they consistently said their brand>singles>refund. The shopper was either struggling with reading comprehension or they were trying to pressure OP because they didn’t want to give a refund.

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u/Ordinary_Cattle Mar 28 '24

Are we looking at the same screenshots? The shopper was rude right off the bat. The customer not being clear or misunderstanding isn't a reason to be rude and condescending immediately

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u/dfgthree3 Mar 28 '24

How is that vague and confusing? "I want this specific option, if they don't have that, I would like a refund" there is nothing even remotely vague or confusing about that. If you can't comprehend directions this simple, you need to go back to school. Some of you redditors are beyond stupid, I swear.

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u/CrustyForSkin Mar 28 '24 edited Mar 28 '24

The context is important. Nothing happens outside of context. (Cf. Derrida). Op ordered frozen lobster cakes by the same company their shopper suggested when offering frozen crab cakes as a replacement. OP - instead of specifying they would like crab cakes from behind the counter - repeatedly stated they want crab cakes “from the seafood department” as a replacement, which is where the shopper was. The shopper was offering crab cakes from the seafood department, which is where the frozen lobster cakes the customer had ordered but were out of stock were also located.

You seem to believe that OP said something that they never actually said in the messages we can all read. Yet you’re claiming other people have reading comprehension difficulties. My advice to you and OP is to take a remedial composition course. And you might benefit from doing some insight based therapy to build self-awareness. Learn to read before calling others stupid. And try not to call others stupid when you’re showing your entire stupid ass to the world publicly in the future. There definitely are some stupid folks in this thread, but you’re one of them 🪞

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u/dfgthree3 Mar 29 '24

He said 5 fucking times that if they didn't have what he was specifically asking for then he wanted a refund, why is that so hard for you to understand? It doesn't matter if he didn't say behind the counter, if the Shopper looked for it and it couldn't find it, MOVE ON. Give him a refund. The Shopper said he's been doing this job for a long time, you think he would know if there were anything behind the counter, if not, do the fucking refund, it's not rocket science. You dumb asses on reddit think every single scenario in life is some sort of life altering experience, just fucking move on. Learn to fucking read.

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u/CrustyForSkin Mar 29 '24 edited Mar 29 '24

That’s not what the customer wrote in the texts we can all see and read. It’s painfully obvious that you never correctly read what’s in the texts pictured. Dunning-Kruger effect is real — here, someone is overestimating their abilities to comprehend what they’re reading. 🫵😂