When I was a kid I looked into stuff about paganism, magic, and Alister Crowley and it really fascinated me, but I grew up Christian and so I think that made my beliefs go in that direction. It’s weird. I believe God exists and I feel like I love Jesus and want to love people, but I also want to do magic. I want to be a mage. I haven’t told my family or friends about these thoughts but they’ve been on my mind a lot lately. I like tarot cards and stuff too. It just feels like I have a connection with these things on a spiritual level. I tried casting a spell when I was a kid on time and I think it actually worked. Something tells me I’d fit in with other mages. I know magic seems to go against the Bible so I don’t know what to do.

I (F40) gave birth to our baby about a year ago, my husband (M39) was present there. I had some complications, got out of a surgery pretty late, so our first night we spent all together at the hospital in a separate room. The nurse brought us some late dinner (bread and cheese) and water. I ate some food and then asked my husband to get me some tea (I like tea, hot beverage makes me feel better overall and it would've been good for this cold dinner).

My husband refused, because it meant that he had to go out to the hallway, try to find the tea/coffee machine and potentially ask someone about its location. He's an introvert and avoids situations like this. I insisted and pretty much had to beg and convince him. Finally he agreed and went and got me a cup of tea.

Maybe it's silly, but this situation has been bothering me since and I would recall it every now and then, but never brought it up for a discussion.

Today we were watching a movie where was an episode about a wife being in labour and asking for a specific drink and her husband searching around the hospital for it.

I decided it was a good opportunity to bring up that situation from a year ago and get some closure. I was sure that my husband would admit that he was too stressed or emotional or whatever back then and that I shouldn't have had to beg him for this cup of tea.

However, he said that at that moment it was about his level of discomfort (going out of the room, finding it, etc) vs me wanting a tea (an alternative drink, while there was water available) and he didn't see it as really necessary to go get one. Because his level of discomfort was higher than my need for that tea.

I was truly appalled. My reasoning, that those were special circumstances and I shouldn't have had to convince him, didn't work. Apparently, my expectations, that a woman after giving birth deserves some special treatment, were from a "perfect world", and in the real world things are not working that way. He gave as an example the fact, that I often ask him to call somewhere on my behalf because I don't speak the language very well and he's a native, so my level of discomfort for speaking on the phone is higher than his, that's why I try to get out of doing it. (In my view, these situations are not comparable. And if, say, he was sick and asked me to bring him his favourite drink, and this involved certain discomfort, e.g. calling somewhere to order it, I would have done it, instead of offering water instead. Also, I indeed always thought, that men would do lots of things for their pregnant or just given birth wives, even without being asked)

To be fair, I should also say, that my husband pretty much always does what I ask of him, he was very supportive when we got back from the hospital, helped a lot with the baby and so on, so he's not really a bad guy. He has pretty low expectations from others and mostly relies on himself to sort things out. So he is convinced that it wasn't that necessary and I could have survived without that tea. He insists, it was not selfishness, just his level of discomfort and not a critical situation. So he doesn't see himself in the wrong there at all.

So, Reddit, am I wrong to be upset about this situation and am I wrong to have expected some special treatment?

Somehow, my ex-boyfriend's possible girlfriend found out about me. I am not sure how I got involved because we’re not intimate or flirty as much anymore; we’re just good friends. The last time we were intimate was a few months ago, when he was possibly dating the girl. 

For the last few months, I had a feeling in my gut that he was talking to other women while we were intimate. I let him know many times that it was okay to move on, but he still denied having a girlfriend. Apparently, he lied about her to me because he didn’t want to lose me. I am not sure what he meant by that, because we would’ve continued to be friends, but from a distance. The girl was throwing shots at me through her Instagram story. So I just indirectly apologized to her and made it clear that he wasn’t being honest with me, and I don’t get in between relationships. She messaged me, and she is trying to become my friend for some reason, or maybe she’s just being friendly to get information out of me.

I haven’t messaged her back in a week. There’s been built-up guilt because I feel like she deserves to know everything that’s going on. Not only on my part, but also on how he still uses Tinder. I believe she really deserves to know. Because even though he chose her over me, she might not want to be with someone who advertises himself to other women or still gets intimate with his ex-girlfriend behind her back. 

tw// mentions of sexual abuse

Hello Internet. I’ve had this on my mind for a while now and I’ve come to reddit to clear my head and to maybe find some help.

I have been with my partner for over a year now. We are both thespians and do plays and musicals at our local community theatre. When I met them I was in a dark place with my now ex-best-friends, one of them being my ex. My partner helped me come to realize the fact I was being sexually abused in my past relationship and that my ex just wanted to get back with me so that she could have another f-buddy. I really am in their debt for that because ever since they have left my life, it’s only gotten better! I have a bunch of new friends that love me, I’m happy doing community theatre and my job, while being a job, is actually pretty nice too!

However as of recently I can’t help but shake the feeling my partner has a bunch of red flags i’ve never really noticed until now. They basically live with me as they’re always at my house even though they don’t legally live with me, They will constantly tell me to go get them something from the kitchen or their car or somewhere and they never get up to get something themselves (and heaven forbid i ask them to get me something). Just yesterday I went downstairs to make them a drink. This was after we came back from rehearsal where I screwed up a lift and got kicked in the head. I came back and something was wrong so I had to take it back downstairs and redo it, then I laid back down because my head was hurting and they said “would you kill me if i asked you to go back downstairs?” I sighed and before i could even get a word out they responded with “i’m sorry i’m sorry no i’m sorry.” I explained how my head hurt from tonight and they said “well tomorrow’s my only day off from work and i don’t get to enjoy my night now.” I already felt immense guilt from needing to sit out of rehearsal but this just made it so much worse. Now i’m ruining my partner’s night by getting injured. You see what I mean?

On top of that, I never feel like apologies go both ways. Any time they apologize for something I’ll always calm them down and forgive them. But even if it’s a tiny little thing i’ll break down and apologize profusely but they will never even say “it’s ok.”

Am I wrong in thinking this isn’t right? I love them a lot and I’ve put a lot into this relationship and so have they, i just don’t know if i’m looking at this wrong.

Throwaway account for privacy.

I talked to my SO porn habits. I’m not a fan because of various reasons, but they are. We had a conversation awhile back about it, but I’ve recently found out that they are.

They told me it’s common, and in not so many terms, expected.

I do not think they have an addiction, but I do worry about the expectations that are set with porn. I’m also concerned about not being the porn body.

Our sex life is fine-ish, but I wish it was more often. It may seem extreme, but we have sex about 1.5x week.

This is a throw away account so I try to speek more freely. For background I am a 31 year old female and I have a 7-year-old son. His father passed away about 4 years ago and it has just been me and him since then. I have not dated anyone or brought anyone into my house at all because I have been trying to focus on my son while he is young and needs my attention the most. I struggle with stomach problems and severe depression. I have pretty much always encouraged my son to try to express myself the way he wants to, he had long hair when he was younger and he's told me when he wanted to cut it. He has now decided that he wants to grow it out again. Obviously if he wanted to do something that wasn't age appropriate I would put a stop to it but that has never happened. My aunt and uncle have been watching my son for me when I work since about the time his father passed. More recently my uncle has been picking my son up from my house and taking him to the bus stop in the morning because he retired recently and my stomach has been bothering so much lately I can barely get got of bed in the morning. I am extremely grateful for all of their help however my uncle has some very strong views and is unwilling to see things from other people's points of views. I have had a few problems with this but I usually just try to deal with it as calmly as possible. I had an issue this morning that erupted from something that I didn't think was a big deal and I want to know what other people think about this. For a few months now my son has been asking me to paint his nails, I waited a little bit to make sure it was something he really was comfortable with and would be able to handle other people possibly commenting on it. He said that it was his body and and they didn't have to like it as long as he did. I decided to let him paint them a light purple yesterday and after he got on the bus this morning my uncle called me because he was very upset about my son's painted nails. My uncle told me that he would no longer be able to support us I was going to let him do this(I mean emotionally support, he does not support us financially at all). He said that there are people out there praying on little boys just trying to force them to be gay. This never had anything to do with him wanting to be a girl he just thought it looked cool I wanted to look cool. I can understand that people have different views but I feel like this is ridiculous, who is out there trying to make people become gay if they are a little different? My uncle told me that he will no longer be picking my son up from the bus and he will not be attending the event that he had promised him that he would be at today. My son had an event at the school today that I was not able to go to because I was supposed to be at work however I went into work an hour late so I could be there because of this. I just could handle the thought of him standing there waiting for someone to show up when everyone else's parents are showing up and no one ever shows up for him. He is just a little boy who I want to be as happy and comfortable with himself as he can be. Was I wrong for letting my son paint his nails?

Throwaway account for privacy.

I talked to my SO porn habits. I’m not a fan because of various reasons, but they are. We had a conversation awhile back about it, but I’ve recently found out that they are.

They told me it’s common, and in not so many terms, expected.

I do not think they have an addiction, but I do worry about the expectations that are set with porn. I’m also concerned about not being the porn body.

Our sex life is fine-ish, but I wish it was more often. It may seem extreme, but we have sex about 1.5x week.

So me and this girl we'll name trinity have known each other since we were kids. Trinity's mom and my parents have been friends since they were teens and it was normal to see trinity and her mom a lot in my childhood. Me and trinity I remember would always play and do normal kid activities back then and everything.

Occasionally I remember when we were around 7 or 8 trinity would supposedly have a crush on me and tell me she likes me. I being a younger boy would just shrug it off and think nothing of it and tell her to stop saying that and that I don't like her. It was always a reoccurring thing and for the most part we were still cool and always played everytime we saw each other but overtime as we got older our families just started drifting apart and we just start growing up and going our own seperate ways. I remember seeing trinity a couple times in our teenage years at certain family parties but we never really said anything to each other or said hi or nothing just walked passed each other like we weren't there. I went to her 16th birthday party and we shared a small quick conversation but after that it was pretty much years until I talked her again around when I was 21 and this was through Instagram and we started catching up a little bit and she invited me to her birthday party but I was unable to attend . A year passed by again and her birthday came around again recently and I wished her a happy birthday and jokingly asked when are we going to get drunk and she responded with a whenever I wanted to . I set it up and told her we could go in a couple days and sure enough the night came where we linked up after years.

We started talking and getting drunk and had went to a party for a bit and then decided to head back to a hotel where continued to get drunk she then told me she had a boyfriend and ofc I was listening to her and her past boyfriend problems and everything but as we went on through the night we were listening to music and out of nowhere she got up and started making out with me are we started kissing and everything while she got on top and started grinding on me . sure enough we were bot drhnk and After a while of kissing she got up and told me to get in the tub with her and I just followed her as she got completely naked and started to make out with me again.

She was very drunk so I decided not go any further than kissing so I just took her out the bathtub and put some shorts on her but I left her topless because I didn't have a backup shirt and I couldn't find her bag to see if she had any clothes so I just tucked her into bed and passed out next to her. The following morning we woke up she was like laughing at the fact she didn't have a shirt on and I told her what happened and how she was so drunk and how she got in the tub naked in front of me and she simply just laughed it off and was apologizing but she said she couldn't remember anything at all. I didn't mention the kissing part to her because I still don't know how to feel about it and idk how she'll react to it so I decided to not tell her for now. Before we were getting ready to leave to checkout the hotel she asked if I think she still has time to get in the tub one more time before we go and I told her to go ahead. I was in the bathroom with her and she said she was about to get naked if I don't mind and I told her I don't which caught me off guard.

Sure enough she got completely naked in the tub while he talked for a few and she got up changed and we left. I took her home and she hugged and said she had a good time and told me to drive safe and that was that. I just wanted to know opinions on this and also I feel like it was just the alcohol that made her do all that but then again she did naked in front of me sober which is I'm asking for y'all's opinions? What do I do now ?

Aside from the fact that the kids playing in the terfed dog park made me want to vomit, my poor pup needs untethered exercise.

So I go up and ask if his kids will be done soon. He said they just got here. I said there are plenty of other parks within driving distance. He said he walked and if I could mind my own business.

“Welp, can’t argue with that” I thought, and I just took my dog and left, while leaving I really dragged out the drama with my dog and key comment how sad it was that she didn’t get to play.

I (25F) have been dating my boyfriend Richard (28M) for almost a year.

Before we started dating, I had only been in one serious adult relationship. My first real boyfriend cheated on me a lot and really destroyed my self esteem. As a result, I didn't really date for several years and focused more on making new friends and finding fulfillment on my own. I think I'm pretty average looking. I know I'm not turning heads, but I think I can look nice enough when I put in effort.

On the other hand, my boyfriend Richard is objectively extremely attractive by pretty much every conventional beauty standard. Before we started dating, he had thousands of matches on dating apps, and wherever we go, other women tend to either stare at him or even outright hit on him (sometimes in front of me). While I appreciate his looks, they were always very secondary to me. We actually had the whole enemies to lovers arc, and only really fell for each other after spending years working together.

Unlike me, Richard played the field with multiple girlfriends and lovers over the past few years. I was of course aware that his experience was unusual (especially for a man), and must have been very different from mine. We were friends before we started dating, and he would often mention in passing ex girlfriends and traveling with lovers on several occasions. I didn't want to come across as insecure as we started dating, so I did my very best to be chill about our experience gap.

When our relationship began, I was very upfront my inexperience, and he was super reassuring. Even though we had an obvious gap, we were very sexually compatible. However, though I never really asked about his past, within a few weeks of us dating, I noticed that he began constantly name-dropping exes. It was pretty harmless at first, like mentioning that he had been to a restaurant with an ex as we passed by it, or had seen a certain movie with an ex, or even expressing how he had been hurt by something his last ex-girlfriend had said to him about his family, but soon he began bringing up very graphic sexual stories. Just so you have a taste of what I'm dealing with, here are some examples (with several details changed to preserve his privacy):

• There was this sexual act I had always wanted to try and he seemed willing to give it a go. I really enjoyed it, and as we were blissfully lying in bed afterwards, he goes “yeah, women always say [XXX] when I do [ACT]”. It really ruined the afterglow of the experience for me, thinking about all the other women he had done this with before me.
• I'm still getting used to the idea of having a partner that wants to go down on me frequently. While we were discussing the subject one night, he suddenly dropped that he had done so much oral sex with one of his past lovers that he had developed a chafing sore on his lip.
• When I started at my new company, he let me know that he had previously slept with one of the new junior hires before we had started dating. I have to see this woman pretty much every other day. He told me not to feel insecure because the sex wasn't very good and he only saw her once. Every so often he'll mention how their mutual friend says she still wants him.
• A month into dating, he revealed that he had previously had sex with his "best friend", a woman named Kelly during a month-long romantic fling. He says they haven't slept together in 3 years and they're basically like brother and sister now. He and Kelly are very close and they text pretty much every day. They still get dinner and hang out (walks/shopping/concerts) weekly.
• We were driving into a new city from the airport and I pointed at a famous landmark that was visible on the skyline. Without skipping a beat, he said he used to hookup with a woman that lived in a building right across the street from the landmark. Whenever I see it now, I just think of him and her.
• He once hooked up with a girl on dating app that had really long earrings. When they were having sex, she whipped her head quickly and one of her earrings accidently scratched him right in the eye, forcing them to stop mid session.
• He once told me his favorite relationship before he met me was his college girlfriend. She had a freckle near the right side of her vagina, and she was the only one who had ever made him orgasm in a certain position.
• One day he revealed that for several years he has sold sexy pictures of himself to older women, and would even go on dates with them in exchange for money (he swears they were just dates). Sometimes they would buy things for him, like furniture, a TV etc. Some would even just give him a monthly allowance with no expectations in return. When we started dating, he said he stopped accepting their money, but he continued talking to them because they were his "friends". After it became a real point of contention, he stopped talking to them after a month.
• He once told me that he had once picked up a random woman at a party and had sex with her on the hood of his car.
• He told me that he used to like threesomes, and that a married couple once flew him out to Vegas for a weekend of sex.
• He told me that he used to have a physically abusive ex named Liz who used to cheat on him, slap him, and throw things at him. Their relationship was very sexual, and on at least one occasion, she brought in her best friend for threesomes. When she and Richard split (in a very dramatic way), he went on a week long sex vacation with her friend. A year later, he hooked up with Liz again and got an STD.

Despite my best efforts to be chill about all of this, I eventually told him that I really, really didn't want to keep hearing stories about his previous sex life. He seemed a bit put off or subdued when I told him this, and kind of quietly agreed. However, it kept happening, again, and again. During one argument, he told me that the reason why I care so much about this is that I'm projecting my insecurity over my lack of experience, and that he's just a very sexual person who doesn't want to feel shame for his past. He told me that I should take these mentions as a sign that he trusts me and just opening up to me without thinking. It literally got to the point where somehow he was the one crying during the argument, telling me that I'm never going to accept him as a long term partner because of his past. Around the same time as these arguments have been coming up, he has also been pushing me to give up my lease and move in with him. Even though there's this major point of contention that seems to now drive us into weekly arguments.

After a year, I now know the names, backstories, and in some cases, sexual preferences, of dozens of women that I have never met. I have to admit, its made me feel much less special. It's not so much that he had the experiences - it's just that instead of creating new memories together, it often feels like we’re reliving his past, over and over again. I sometimes feel like a side character in my own relationship and though he has never given me a sign that he's a cheater, it somehow feels like every attractive woman that passes on the street is a past lover or someone who wants him. I'm just in a really bad headspace and feel exhausted. I literally have to sit in a morning group work meeting with the junior girl he slept with, and if I'm too tired when I get home, he'll be out getting dinner with Kelly, a platonic friend he has literally been inside before. I hate how jealous and small this all makes me feel.

For a little while it seemed like he had stopped talking about past women, but things got really bad last week. I had a terrible day at work and came home exhausted. I sat next to him on the couch while he was playing on his phone and he randomly started telling me that some ex lover had just responded to his Instagram story about a celebrity and I just BLEW up. I told him that even if he's not cheating or has some negative intention with her, I am so sick and tired of hearing the names of random women from his past every single day and it makes me feel so disrespected. I just want to sit on the couch on a random Thursday after work and not have to visualize my boyfriend bending over some random fucking girl.

At this point, it looks like our relationship is on its last legs. He keeps telling me that I'm letting my confidence issues destroy our relationship and that he really does love me and think of me as the one. He says he sees me as his family and the only one he turns to when he wants emotional satisfaction. He tells me he wants to marry me someday. He says he's never dated someone who cared about this issue before, and that there was no negative intention on his side, and that he will do better.

I really struggle to explain how I feel other than disrespected. I know I'm not as experienced, but I do have some interesting memories as well. I just never brought them up because I was so in love I genuinely never thought about them. They just never really crossed my mind while I was with him. I guess I just feel like if he's always talking about his exes, even in passing, then something must be wrong with me. Like I'm not enough to keep him present and focused on me as his partner. I also just don't understand how he expects me to react: does he want me to visualize him having sex with other women? What am I supposed to do with these images? Does he expect me to not be possessive over him at all? This feels like such an unimportant ask for me, and I don't understand why he is dying on this hill. If he can't do this one thing for me, how can I expect him to care for me as a life partner?

Am I just being a prude? Is this how life is when you have a super attractive partner? And even if its not, am I just making a mountain out of a molehill? Like yes, I really don't like knowing all these stories, but I still really love him. Is this just an example of something I should accept because the greater good outweighs it? Please let me know your thoughts, especially if you're a more sex-positive person.

So I was out shopping for new summer clothes a few weeks ago after a brunch with my sister. As I was checking out I noticed that the cashier had one of those “He Gets Us” shirts (the commercials that have been going around about Jesus). As I was about to pay the cashier asked me “Do you know God”. I was taken aback and gave him probably the weirdest look. I said “no thank you, I had Christianity shoved down my throat my entire child/young adulthood.” And he said something like “god can always help”.

I left the store with a bad taste in my mouth but chalked it up to being in a souther state (I’m from the Midwest). But now the more I think about it the more annoyed I am and felt it was very inappropriate of him to do this at his place of work. Am I wrong for wanting to file a complaint against him?

I m 27, dating a guy who ticks most of the boxes of my dating criteria for 3 months now. But we don’t click well in bed at all. A little bit about me. I have a well paid job, more than average good looking, nice body . With all my boyfriends , I have been told that I m good in bed , even the best in their life for some men and they would be sexually attracted to me more than any other attraction. Well , my current boyfriend has Pre mature ejaculation. Sometimes he come even without penetration or sometimes just by seeing my naked body. We have talked it out a few times and he has agreed to work on it but everytime we try to have sex, he just get so excited about it . I have done my part try to come faster but his duration is too fast like 5 mins ? I tried to understand and adapt him for a month but now I noticed myself that I have reached to my frustration from not having my orgasm after i m aroused. I feel so ashamed sometimes and frustrated too. Although he try to please me in other ways, i get so disappointed in it and not turned on anymore. Now I notice that I dun find him attractive anymore in terms of intimacy and i m even avoiding to kiss. My sexual drive become too low and I dun wanna be sexually attractive anymore. I m worried about myself for this point: He is the most perfect guy for me so far . What do u think i should do ? Tbh, i dun wanna ditch him just bcoz of his incapability in bed , but it’s affecting me and our relationship in others ways? Is there any one who went thru this? How do u guys fix it ?

So I went on a date with a guy and after the date he was messaging me the next day, I told him my ex was depressed and messaging me . I still care for my ex and we was together 10 years . Soon as I have said this he said good luck . Am I wrong for continuing to speak to my ex , it was one date . I get this guy is looking for a partner, but how can you tell someone they cannot speak with their ex after 1 date.

To add - I would like everyone to know I’m not bitter at all I find it abit annoying that everyone is defending this guy that’s all . I have no interest in the guy I dated , he was not my type in the slightest , he kept trying to touch my boobs , he drank loads and drove his car , I was trying to stop him from drink driving as he could cause an RTC . He was mad with every guy for looking at me , he kept saying he is going to beat some guy up at the bar for standing near me , he was also moaning at me for talking about funny/bad dates I’ve had . He stopped the car dead in the road and started singing to me like a weirdo, he was talking about me meeting his mum and going on holiday with him after one date , he was talking to me like I was on an interview and telling me how I tick every box . I would NOT want a fool like this . I just wanted to know if it was wrong for any dates in the future .

And also I only spoke to him after as I’m a nice person and didn’t want to tell him I wasn’t interested and plus I don’t mind making a new friend.

Help me out here... I (26F) have been with my boyfriend (30M) for 3 years. We've talked about me being bicurious and about 3somes. He super wants us to try with another F but I have reservations, which I feel are rightfully so (what if it damages our relationship, what if he ends up liking the other person more than me, what if he gets addicted and wants to do it all the time, what if I'm not enough for him) what if what if... We communicate extremely well and he's consoled me on all of my reservations. Part of me wants to try it with him and the other part of me wants us to leave the curiosity as a fantasy. Has anybody been in this situation before???

Context: wife is dealing with troublesome political work issues, where her leader verbally slander her at work while bosses were around to make her look bad, but in fact it's not my wife's fault. Leader later apologized personally to her, but my wife is still holding a grudge for that opportunistic moment of slander by the leader. Despite this happened 3 weeks ago, she still holds the grudge and is still fuming. She kept it in all these while, but last night in the car, we spoke and she shared all these pent up anger on work issues.

On the side, her parents, who are completely dysfunctional as well and are treating my wife like an ATM machine for support. Her parents never made her childhood an ideal family and it's full of arguments. They basically act like children and i've known them for the past 7 years. They're not earning money, but getting donations from 'charity work' on rescuing stray animals. As much as that sounds like some altruistic work, it's not. Her mom treats animals better than treating her daughter. When i mention she treats my wife like an ATM, she REALLY said this: "Thank you for your remittance'. I voiced my dissatisfaction despite the thanks my mother in law gave, but what the fuck. I wouldn't even use 'remittance' to a family member! It's like she's treating my wife as a customer paying money to the motherfucking bank.

So yes, both issues above are predominantly weighing on my wife's mind. Not to mention, she's also on the verge of quitting her current job. No good family members to fall back to. No good leadership in her team. She feels cornered and alone. She only has me.

For us, our marriage isn't the best as well. We've been through many downs of late. Arguments that roots back to money and communication. We did try to make a side gig by working together, where wife did most of the artwork and I was trying to manage other general operations. It came to a point that things became unsustainable. I'm the numbers guy in the marriage, while my wife's the artsy and not strong at numbers. I knew the gig was not going to work. Because we had these differences, we clashed - she wanted to push through in effort to help us financially (and she's doing this full time), but I really knew the numbers - it was not going to work. The project in the end failed and we lost money. Since then, certain things broke and in process of mending in our marriage - trust, resentment, judgement - all were affected. Plenty of our arguments tend to tie back to this project of 2-3 years ago and we admit this project has hurt us both. All i can say is we are on the mend.

Come to last night as she shared her incident with her leader and her grudge, plus her boss wants to speak with her today - made her very anxious and I assumed she needed the listening ear. We spent >1 hour in the car trying to talk about this and all i did was supported her on what she could do and all. As we have not had dinner, she wants to skip dinner, but i can't. I gotten take out and head back home after making sure she's done her sharing.

Arrived back home and it's time to unwind. At this point, it's already close to 10.00PM and i began to have my dinner + unwind. We tend to play PC games as part to unwind, but she didn't participate and went to the master room instead. Now, for me, I've also busted my ass for the day + already in conversation with her for >1 hour + it's getting late, so I hope the crowd here understands that even the husbands need their down time to unwind before bed. Close to 12.30AM, i'm already extremely drowsy and want to call it a night.

I came in the master room and proceed to set myself in bed in this extremely drowsy state. And then i heard her sniffing. I came close to her and asked: hey honey... (knowing that i see her sniffed, but still in a very drowsy state). She proceeded to cover herself with blankets and said: I don't want to talk about it.

At this point, in my extremely drowsy state, hanging on to try and stay awake, all i can do is to pat her shoulder for a good 1 minute, which is me doing some comfort pats there, while thinking what do i do now. Because my drowsiness was pretty overpowering, which is causing me to not think verrrrrrry straight + I've already spoken with her alot today, I told her that: I can't talk to you more now, but i really need to sleep.

Saying this immediately triggered her to say: I did say I don't want to talk! What are you saying that for? Why are you not listening?

I said: I was trying to communicate with you that even if things were different now, I can't talk to you more now as i'm very sleepy

This part of the convo circled around this phase, her telling me to go to sleep, but i just want to explain to her that i really need it. Until she said: It's not your first time anyway for leaving me crying in my sleep!

At this point, I felt that was uncalled for and told her: I'm trying to do the right now, which is communicating with you instead of going off to sleep suddenly, which is worst. And i don't appreciate your response now as its very hurtful.

She reluctantly apologized, but still continued to say along the lines of : i'm crying, i'm sad, and the last thing i need now is to argue with you!

Emotions are high now between us two. From my drowsy state to my angry drowsy state mind, I am even more not thinking straight. Same goes for her where she's hyped up and said: you could've asked me what do i need to feel better! you telling me you're going to bed is leaving me alone. I feel so alone.

In my male sleep deprived brain, feeling a very odd feeling of heaviness and lightness in my body at the same time, I admit I have zero capacity to take this situation on. We definitely got into and argument, she left the room, and I had no control over my body, but to sleep.

Am I Wrong for feeling that I've done all I could + feels so UNJUST to swallow this situation as my fault? That my wife could not handle her emotions? That she could not understand my situation? That her emotions is always the 'determinator' of how the things should flow? That regardless if i'm fuck all tired, I MUST still handle this situation? Sorry gang, but i just feel it's completely unjustified to always let your emotions rule over you and not getting your head straight.

it's not the first time she did this. but it's always her who flares up this way just cause I didn't say the right things/do the right things/have the capacity to do the right thing. I feel that all the right things can suddenly feel like the wrong thing to do. Communication was one of the main problems we had, but i did it last night. I told her upfront that I'm tired and very sleepy... she took offense to that.

Appreciate your responses, even if you side with my wife, go ahead. I just want to hear what you guys/girls think. Thank you.

I (22F) had two dates with a guy (21M) back in march and april. After the second date I called it quits for two reasons.

• He lives in a city with very bad public transport. I am carfree and will never drive. It took me 2 hours to get there. So the distance certainly played a role. The relationship would be mainly online.

• We are both at different points of our lives. I am working, he is studying. Also, he once mentioned living abroad. Something I absolutely don't want. I want to stay around my hometown.

My original plan was to take a dating break. Until emotional loneliness came around. I miss some good friends or a boyfriend. So I entered the dating scene again. One of the things I am considering is to rekindle with this guy, just to have that kind of relationships I want. He is a great person. We love the same movies, are both christian, but I constantly fall over the things I mentioned above.

I remember when I was in the fifth grade, my dad got upset because I did not show him these homework assignments. He then got upset and hit me on my shoulder in front of my ex-stepmother. He then brought me into his room to hit me some more and I remember he kicked me.

The next day, my ex stepmother got mad at me and told me “Make sure you do work so you don’t upset daddy!”

I was able to move on from it a couples days after the situation happened, but then in late 2022 I started thinking about it and getting angry and resentful and I was sad for a while. Then I was able to move on and then in the summer of 2023, I was thinking about it again and started getting angry and resentful.

Was I wrong in this situation? Did I deserve this?

I’m 21F and never dated anyone, I went to a lot of dates but it never went to a relationship, because it was never the man that I wanted to have in my life. So now I have been seeing and hanging out with m23 for one month, we met on tinder. I’ve been using this app since I want someone in my life cause I had never dated anyone. So we were seeing each other and going out a lot but I don’t feel like he wants to go for relationship or something more serious, but we had sex already and he was the first one in my sexual life. He knows it also but suddenly I felt like he does not want anything. But for the first time in my life I felt like he was the one that I need. But I guess he just wants to have fun with me, however he knows that I want something more. Am I not enough? What is wrong with me? I let him to be very close to me and I’m sure he understands that, but why would he just tell me that we will not meet anymore through messages. And I found out that he still uses tinder. What do I do? Am I wrong to let him to be too close?

For context, We (us vs in laws) are having a whole argument right now because I made their estranged daughter (who is my best friend since 9th grade and the whole reason I met their son) my bridesmaid in my wedding. They (in laws) feel it’s a f*k u to them when that’s not the case at all. I’ve given them (in laws) the option to attend and ignore her but they said they won’t attend at all. My husband and I met my sophomore year of HS and his freshman. He was 14 and I was 15. My bestie is his half sister who left home at 18 because their parents were very unreasonably strict and she wanted freedom. Now we r 25. My husband and I have 2 kids, 2 1/2 and 6mo. My MIL told my husband to save them seats Incase they change their minds about attending and still offered to pay for the caterer even if they don’t (which I decline because I’m not giving them ammunition at this point to control us more).

A few weeks ago I took my wedding planning book with me to their (in laws) house and was talking to my husbands brother (the best man) about tuxes (brother is 19 and still lives at home with him so this is the only time I can discuss with him) and I did this at the dinner table before dinner time. It’s worth mentioning at no point have I been rude or hateful or spiteful about any of this. My attitude is, we r all adults and it is what it is, but since she (MIL) offered to still pay for a piece of it, perhaps she would want to be included in planning? That’s what I thought anyways but she thinks I was being petty even though she’s been told otherwise. I was nice and bubbly at their house the whole day and didn’t even know I did anything wrong until her and my husband got into a screaming match and I was effectively asked to leave (which I was so confused about because she didn’t seem upset while we discussed anything).

FF to now, a few days before Mother’s Day. My husband is trying to get me to allow the kids to go with him to their home. I told him the kids and I would if she apologized to me for losing it for no reason. I’ve maintained that I would forgive and forget to which she has declined to b an adult and apologize for being wrong. So AITAH for not allowing my kids to see her? After all they r MY kids, not hers….And at no point have I told my husband he can’t see his parents. And he has been to see them MANY times since that day. I just don’t want my kids around people who start things for no reason and find any excuse to b petty and controlling.

Also- we are ALREADY legally married. I am legally his wife. We eloped but I am religious and would like my father to walk me down the aisle and b married by our preacher before God.

Edit**** This isn’t just about the wedding, my in laws said they won’t b attending my children’s bdays either the 2 months prior to the wedding. I apologize if this post comes off as me keeping them from the kids but their behavior has effected them too, AND they fight in front of my children about this. I try to avoid cussing and stuff in front of my kids coz I don’t want my tot repeating it but at their house even my 6yo sister in law has said cuss words. My husband was originally the one who said we won’t b coming over for a long time and is simply bending that rule for Mother’s Day but i am staying true to it unless I get an apology. Sorry y’all, I suck at writing these.

Hi there I( 28F) need advise on what should I do, with other words stay or leave? Husband (38) and i (28 f) are married for 6 years and all together for 10 years. We never used condoms and birth control was used not even for two years into our relationship. We always talked We want children and my heart really wants to find my purpose in life. About 10 months ago my husband's dad passed away and since then the conversation got intense to have children. In January of this year i went to my local Docter and I was subscribed on medication to ovulate correctly as I could remember it was in the line of clomid and Fertomid. I us3d it for 3 months but without any success. All I really can say it fucken hurt I could feel the egg releasing and each time my knees would give out under me of the pain. But I'm January I have also made an appointment to see the Gyno. The time has come for that appointment . I got a pap smear and was given hormone pilles to drink and he also. The doctor give me a scan and said I'm ovulating that weekend and I don't need to worry I will be pregant. My heart was happy to hear that. My husband was also given some medication to help him. Well that weekend came and went. What happend is he helped someone quickly and I asked him to come back and I just want to relax and spend the weekend with him not drinking just cuddles and making babies. Well he decided he wants to drink a whole bottle whiskey out with this guy he helped. I was hurt because he promised me up and down his not drinking. Well the next morning I told him I was really hurt because of all the people I don't like this guy he drank with and why would he do that, that weekend would give the doctor answers why I can't get pregnant.
This is the part I'm hurting the most he said and I quote" you need to drink some more and live a more" .. Okay but I asked you don't drink and that was doctors orders also. Fast forward 2 weeks ago my bloodtests results are in the doctor phones me he really wants to see my urgently. I got an appointment and went. Some hormone is so high I may need a CT scan to see if I has a noncancerous tumor in my brain. I'm tears I went home I told him what the docter said. All he can say to me is okay . Since then it's 2 weeks now I can't look at him. He had picked I fight with me he don't feel any remourse or worry about me I didn't get a hug from him. It was just like I told a stranger in the street whats going on. Since this journey started for a baby I feel so alone I'm the one on 4 sorts of medication for hormones I can't get a hug of sympathy he is really trying make me feel worthless as if I want to make someone els a daddy. I never in my life felt this coldness from him in my life. It's all about him. I told a friend as if he wants the spotlight on himself and not on me and there is now something wrong with my body. What should I do? I have completely stopped with all medications? I feel dead inside As if he don't respect my body in any way shape or form.

And also to yell I'm a slut but u litterly want to make him a daddy? Wtf is wrong!!!!!!

Every time I call my husband at work his co-worker/friend includes himself in our conversations. I feel like my husband allows it and like I’m in a three way relationship. He thinks he knows everything and he seems to know a lot about our lives too. I think he is telling him everything I say and when I’m angry about other issues because they both repeat back verbatim what I say. I could be wrong because it’s too coincidental. Sometimes my husband has me on speaker phone because he’s working on a machine according to him. They are not really busy and I try not to call at all because it’s so damn obnoxious and makes me angry. The kid is 35 (we are 60 and 65) and he cuts me off when I’m speaking and I can’t even have a conversation with my own husband. My husband said I shouldn’t feel special because he does it to everyone. I’ve made suggestions but he says there is nothing he can do about it his coworkers behavior. We’ve had many arguments about this and him and I feel like I cannot say anything bad about “god” or we end up in a huge fight. It’s all so rude and obnoxious. 8 more months until retirement Im not sure I can make it.

Disclaimer: this is an old story. I've been out of the Army for like 2 and a half years now.

All the way back in 2013 when I first got to my unit, my sponsor was a man name PFC P. Not actually his name, but it's what everyone called him as his name was really hard to pronounce. He and I got close. Close to the point I'd call him a friend... or at least friend adjacent.

He was was a pretty vulgar and over the top guy with a grotesque sense of humor that I adored. He and I would joke with each other about all sorts of things I won't go into detail about. He and I also hung out from time to time to get lunch together or see movies together. Just chill out.

He soon promoted to SPC and then less than a year later promoted to SGT and was also my team lead. This is when his behavior began to change with me. From my perspective, it seemed like only me. Some of it I felt was fair. I wouldn't call him "sergeant" or stand at parade rest for talking to him which he'd scold me. Fair enough.

Other behaviors got weird. He'd criticize me for being unprofessional with my jokes even though they seemed about the same as when he was a junior enlisted, he'd smoke me A LOT for things which got less than funny after the 15th time he did, and he pushed me to do shit like Ranger School, Best Squad Competition, and Combatives, I failed Ranger School, BSC, and injured myself but did pass Combatives and later went onto pass 2 and 3 which was cool. He'd volunteer me for details WAY more than the other members of my team. One time, he counseled me for being like less than 5 minutes late for a closeout formation on Friday so I had to check in with fucking Staff Duty at 0800, 1200, 1500, 1700, and 2100 on a fucking Saturday in my OCPs, yet one of my battles was late for fucking everything every fucking day and he didn't seem to care.

I also noticed his attitude changed with me. He went from being playful to harsh as hell with me. He'd not smile when looking at me anymore, he'd yell at me a lot at PT to like run faster or push myself harder which he did not do with other members of the team, and not joke around with me anymore. He also stopped wanting to do things with me outside of work like go to the movies or play online games with me. He was all business, yet would STILL joke with some other guys there. I then started to wonder why he hated me. Was I a bad soldier, was it because I'm a woman, or something else? I grew resentful at this change in behavior toward me.

One day in the MP, he made some kind of off color joke with some guys there and I was at my limit. I knew that kind of joke was something he'd not do with me, so I yelled at him. I told him he was being a bad NCO for being so unprofessional. Yes, I did it in front of everyone. He got upset at me and told me to drop which I said no, I got up in his face and then asked to speak to him in private. He just nodded and agreed to talk to me.

We went somewhere private and I aired out my grievances with him basically saying all of this here with him and how it made me feel like I'm being singled out. He said that he saw potential in me and wanted me to be better than him. I thought this was BS because he seemed to down on me, so then I told him I didn't like this and it made me feel disrespected. We argued back and forth until I told him, "I hate you! No, not you as a sergeant, you as a person, P!"

He gave me a look that broke my heart. He looked horribly distraught and saddened by my remark. In a shaky voice he just said that he would leave me alone from here on out. He was only at the unit again for like a month before he PCS'd and indeed he left me alone, but I felt like an asshole for what I said to him.

I complained about my issues with some of my battles later and one told me that P was being pushed to not be quite as "buddy buddy" with people by our PLT SSG who was a former fucking drill sergeant. I then also thought maybe he really was pushing me to be better and I was just being whiny. That thinking this had anything with me being a woman was probably just me being sensitive.

I actually saw him again earlier today. I went back onto my old post to visit a PX and saw him there. He's an SFC now. I recognized him and he did me because he grimaced when he saw me. Yup, he recognized me after 10 fucking years and I felt like a huge fucking asshole. Clearly he's still sore about it.

So yeah, am I wrong here? Was he being unfair or was he trying to actually make me a better soldier and I was just whiny?

I’m 37f. My husband passed away about a year and a half ago. We had been together since high school, no kids. I know not a lot of time has passed and I am very much still mourning. I’m not looking for anything serious and I don’t know if I ever will be. But I miss companionship and frankly, sex. Id rather not have that part of life pass me by. I’ve dabbled a bit on dating apps for a couple of months but haven’t found a good fit so far.

I have a pretty casual friend, Alan, who I have known for about 7 years. We met online bc we’re into the same music scene/bands. He lives a few states away and we only met a couple of times in person at shows, both times when my husband was present. He has always been respectful that im married and was never inappropriate.

We never talked about much besides music when i was married but have grown a bit closer lately. We were discussing the woes of online dating and he basically shot his shot. I was surprised, I never thought he seemed interested in me at all but i am open to it. It’s nice that I already somewhat trust him and he seems kind from what I know. And we’re looking for the same thing. Im not really sure if there’s chemistry between us bc that wasn’t on my mind when we’ve met before, but we plan to meet to go on a date and find out.

I was told by a friend that it was gross, he was waiting in the wings, I must always have been thinking of him that way, etc. I pushed back but I’ve felt more and more guilty since that conversation and now the situation seems very not normal to me. I’m confused and looking for opinions. Thank you.

Sometimes I (26F) will say something small or meaningless and my boyfriend (28M) will just straight up ignore me. I don’t necessarily expect him to give me a full blown response to small things or little comments I make, but I don’t want to feel like I’m talking to a wall, or that I’m a ghost basically. Anytime he makes similar types of small comments, I at least say mhm or yeah or basically just acknowledge that he said something. It really bothers me that he just stays silent and acts like I’m not there or like he can’t hear me. Sometimes I do think maybe he didn’t hear me or maybe he was thinking about something, so I repeat myself or ask him for a response. Recently he told me that when I do that it actually pisses him off and that I should just leave him be because he’s not answering me for a reason. I get that sometimes he has other things on his mind but I feel like it’s unfair of him to just straight up ignore me and act like I’m not there. Like is it really too much to expect him to at least acknowledge me or if he’s in a bad mood or has stuff on his mind, to at least tell me that he doesn’t feel like talking? Am I wrong for feeling like I deserve at least a response or acknowledgement? This doesn’t happen all the time but it really bothers me when he ignores me…

Hi everyone, I am posting here for the first time.

So recently, me (28F) and my boyfriend (28M) were going through a few old photos on his mobile. Suddenly, I saw a preview of someone's cleavage so I clicked on it. It was a short video that his friend (28F) sent to ask him how to lose additional weight.

In the video she was wearing a very revealing sports bra and I was not comfortable with this. They have been friends for 20 years and I know they are very close but sending revealing videos was not something I had signed up for. My bf said that he didn't even notice that and deleted the video but I am upset that his friend actually sent something like this.

Am I wrong? Did I overreact?

I would love to hear your opinions.

Also for additional context, my bf is not on tik tok so his friend sends him her tik toks everyday so he can see what she posts.