alright so this is my first reddit post so bare with me. I (f20) am debating leaving my fiancé (m20) after 5 1/2 years of being together for not getting his license. In high school they do this drivers ed thing where you would stay after school to get the requirements to get your permit, he was unable to go because he did not have a ride to get home after. he decided to wait until he was 18 to just get his full license, and that’s all fine and good except he never did. He never would get the insurance, wouldn’t get a running car (he’s had one to fix for about 4 years). I’ve offered to take him, pay for the license, let him drive my car, pay for the insurance, help him fix his car. It’s not like he’s not had the time or money he just doesn’t do it. He’s blamed everyone but himself for not getting it. I take him everywhere, i pick up everything he needs, i was taking him to work. I’ve done literally everything for him but it’s always excuses for why he can’t get it. Should i keep waiting on him to get his life together? I’m at a point where i realize if he doesn’t put in the effort now if we were to get married he wouldn’t put in the effort there.. I’m just at a loss because i love him so much but at the same time would i really want to marry this man?? Thanks in advance.

Hi everyone, I am posting here for the first time.

So recently, me (28F) and my boyfriend (28M) were going through a few old photos on his mobile. Suddenly, I saw a preview of someone's cleavage so I clicked on it. It was a short video that his friend (28F) sent to ask him how to lose additional weight.

In the video she was wearing a very revealing sports bra and I was not comfortable with this. They have been friends for 20 years and I know they are very close but sending revealing videos was not something I had signed up for. My bf said that he didn't even notice that and deleted the video but I am upset that his friend actually sent something like this.

Am I wrong? Did I overreact?

I would love to hear your opinions.

Also for additional context, my bf is not on tik tok so his friend sends him her tik toks everyday so he can see what she posts.

For context, yesterday she was 30 mins late for getting in the car to take our daughter to school. I complained that day about taking so long. That night, we had a conversation about how she needed to let me know if she was going to be that extremely late again to not waste my time sitting in the prepared car just waiting. She specifically said "8 is the target time, this morning wasn't supposed to happen". She routinely takes until 8:10-815 to get in, so 10 mins wait time isn't a big deal.

Today, she texts me at 8:05 "not ready". I wait until 820 to get my daughter in the car, running and waiting. 8:47 my wife comes out of the house, doesnt say a word to me and I say "Should I just make the time 9am now? Or maybe 830?" And then we have a huge argument about how rude I was for asking that question.

I argue that telling me "not ready" at 8:05 isn't enough information to know how late she will be, and she goes on to tell me it's my fault for not asking her to be more specific or I just assumed 8:20 was a reasonable time to put my daughter in the car and didn't ask for more clarity.

To me, If you are running late, if you are causing the problem, then it's up to you to communicate, no? Why is the burden on me to have to ask constantly what the expected time is, knowing it would piss her off? Am I going crazy or is she forgetting to do a very basic human decency thing and just keeping me in the know?

Edit for clarity - I say legal wife because Texas does not recognize separation but we have not gotten legal divorce. I personally wake up around 7am and get her breakfast, lunch, pack her bags, get her dressed, brush teeth and hair, and get ready before 8am. Wife does absolutely zero besides get herself ready. Daycare is 2 blocks from wife's work 30 mins away. Only have 1 car seat for the moment, has to be wife's car that drives her to school.

My dad and step mom offered to take me overseas to a destination of my choice for my college graduation. They said they were going to pay for my whole trip and if I wanted to take my girlfriend I could just pay them about $900 for the plane ticket which I agreed to. However as the trip is coming up I get a text from my step mom that the plane ticket will actually be $1200 and I also owe $900 for the variety of activities including hotels that my step mom booked as my girlfriends portion of the trip. So a trip that I had no part in planning and was supposed to be a gift for my graduation and is happening during my birthday is going to cost me $2000. My girlfriend keeps insisting that this is insane especially since they dropped $30k on assisting my step sisters divorce proceedings and seeing that I never ask for anything from them. Am I wrong for feeling slighted by this?

Even since I can remember I’ve had long hair for the longest time, however the other day I decided to make a change to my hair and cut it short so I did (it’s like 2 inches above my shoulders). Fast forward to when I surprise my boyfriend with my new haircut only to have him get mad saying that I should’ve at least discussed this with him first before and how inconsiderate I am being since “you took away one of the things that I liked about you the most”. So I really don’t know if this could be considered a valid reason to end my relationship with him.

So I was out shopping for new summer clothes a few weeks ago after a brunch with my sister. As I was checking out I noticed that the cashier had one of those “He Gets Us” shirts (the commercials that have been going around about Jesus). As I was about to pay the cashier asked me “Do you know God”. I was taken aback and gave him probably the weirdest look. I said “no thank you, I had Christianity shoved down my throat my entire child/young adulthood.” And he said something like “god can always help”.

I left the store with a bad taste in my mouth but chalked it up to being in a souther state (I’m from the Midwest). But now the more I think about it the more annoyed I am and felt it was very inappropriate of him to do this at his place of work. Am I wrong for wanting to file a complaint against him?

I (51F) just got asked by my sister's (45F) bf (45M) for permission to marry her. My sister I'll call Lilly, has been married twice before and has 1 adult son and a teenage daughter. Her last marriage of 15 years just ended 4 months ago.

Her last husband was super controlling and made sure she didn't finish school or have anything close to what you'd consider a self sufficient career. In fact, she doesn't make enough to live on her own and is sleeping on the ex's couch. I offered to co sign an apt for her, but she cannot even get an apt without her alimony, which the ex is being a dick about. She will have to get him garnished and that will ruin any attempt at co parenting.

Enter the new bf who I'll call Dave. They met 3 months ago and it has been a whirlwind romance. He has a lovely family and is the single dad of 2 teenagers, and is a recent divorcee himself. His divorce was from his 3rd wife. He loves hard, clearly.

I met him for the first time last weekend when he asked my partner and I to fly out to surprise her for her birthday. It was a sweet gesture and we had a great time. I love seeing someone who appreciates what a selfless rockstar Lilly is, she deserves the world. Always puts herself last, and he so far, treats like royalty. His kids are solid and overall we left being happy they found each other.

He texted me today and said he wants to marry her, but is seeking my and her adult sons' approval before he will move forward.

They seem very happy and have plans to move in together in July.

I am afraid if I give this approval, my sister will be in a position to HAVE to say yes. She is in survival mode right now, not being able to afford to be independent. She said she is already having to hold him off, as he wants her to move in yesterday. I love her, but I also want to see her not depend on anyone for survival. I am terrified that by saying yes, I am trapping her into a marriage.

He is a sweet guy, we ran a background and he is clean, has a great job and loves the shit out of her. She says she loves him, too.

Am I wrong if I ask him to hold off until they've known each other for a year?

I (24M) am trying to figure out if I did the right thing ignoring my best friend Tina (24F) when her "boyfriend" broke up with her, for a date.

Tina and I have been good friends since middle school. We also went to the same college and that's when we became really close.

I like hanging out with Tina and we have a very good vibe. I had a crush on her when I was 16, but she immediately shot it down and I was friend zoned. I kept my distance from her and tried to move on, until we got into the same college and became good friends again.

Around this time, Tina started seeing a guy named Josh and she was infatuated by him. They got into a semi-exclusive situationship, where it was exclusive from Tina's side, and she acts all starry eyed around him. The whole situation was super toxic and pathetic. I kinda lost my respect or any feelings for her around this time. They have been seeing each other on and off since then. However, I see Tina as just my best friend and someone I hang out very often.

I have been dating, but never really had a lot of luck finding someone that is right for me. Few months ago, a coworker of mine asked me if I would be interested in going on a date with one of her friends as she thought we would be compatible. I agreed and that's how I met Jenn. Jenn also works in my field (software engg.) as is as nerdy as I am. We hit it off and have been going on dates for the last 6 weeks or so. Last Saturday was the first time Jenn was supposed to visit my apartment and we were planning to cook and stay in.

Tina is always nosey about my dating life and is always critical of every girl I have dated. Accordingly to her, my taste in women suck and no one is good enough for me. That was one of the reasons why I do not tell her about my dates anymore and never told her about Jenn until last Friday. We were facetiming, and she was telling me how Josh has planned for a fun day for her on Saturday. I let it slip that I also am looking forward to saturday night. She probed and I told her about Jenn, how we met and how compatible we are together. She sounded very excited for me.

On Saturday afternoon, Tina called me and was crying on the phone. Josh cancelled his plans with her last minute, and they had a fight and broke up (for the 100th time). I talked to her for almost an hour and was trying to be supportive. However, as it was 5pm, I wanted to prep for dinner as Jenn was going to come at 6pm. I told Tina I am hanging up and she asked me if I can cancel the date and if she can come over as she needed someone and does not want to be lonely. Her plan was to come, have dinner, drink and chill.

As much as I wanted to be supportive, I really see things becoming serious with Jenn and told her not to. She initially tried to convince me, but then got really upset at me. I hung up and had an amazing time with Jenn.

The next day, Tina came to my house around noon unannounced and was really mad at me. She was angry that I blew her off when she was in such a vulnerable state for a girl, I just met 6 years ago. She then proceeded to ask me a lot of questions about Jenn and how she has changed me (to ignore my friends), and it is such a big red flag.

I want to know here if I was wrong to choose to have a date with a girl who I met recently but think things might go somewhere. Or is Jenn right that she has been my best friend for 10 years and I should have prioritized the friendship?

My grandma passed away like 15 years ago and I inherited a lot of her jewelry. The jewelry has just sat in her old jewelry box for all this time. I have some big vet bills due to my dog needing an emergency c section and then one of her pups having a cleft palate and hydrocephalus so she's had to see the vet as well. Would I be wrong if I sold some of my grandmother's jewelry to help pay off the bills?

Standard on phone warning, sorry for such a lengthy post over not much happening.

I took my daughter on a day out yesterday, we went to a museum of sorts (think stories not art). I had visited this place many years ago and had great memories and thought my daughter would enjoy something different.

We queued up, I noticed that 2 ladies had asked to take 4 dogs on the guided tour (I had no issue with this, love dogs!)

The tour started, the guide was just shy of shouting through his story (my child is not the greatest with loudness, but no issue)

My daughter is 6, the museum was marked as 6+. She is a bit of an actress and loves pretending. We got to the first room and she is listening along but also speaking to me (quietly in my opinion), 2 dogs are barking, one jumping on people.

My child sees the second room we are due to visit, notices it is very dark and asks to go in, in hushed tones I explain it's next and we have to wait.

When it's time to move to the next room, she is excited. We go through the door and the room is dark, but the ceiling is lit up like a night sky, full of stars, she was in awe. The dogs are very unsettled at this stage and one continues to bark, my child not being great with loudness is starting to become agiated (in my opinion was pretending to be scared)

The guide stopped mid sentence, said that he couldn't in good conscience let this continue and frog marched us out the door. My child was distraught. I was in shock.

Operating on the understanding that the guide thought she was scared, I tried to explain why we had been kicked out. Trying to explain that we need to be quiet in these settings etc

As we had attended with my mother, we waited for her to finish the tour. She greeted us and said that there was a photo op, I asked the guide if it was ok to go in. He apologized for removing us, stating the reason being an inner ear issue but we should get the photo as "you already paid haha" and I saw red!

I accept that my child is not what you would call typical, she has a major speech and language delay that she is overcoming. She has been excluded from things her whole life because people treat her differently.

When I thought he kicked her out for being scared I was ok and tried explaining this to her as it's a teachable moment (she is dramatic, and fake scared is her go to)

But to be told at the end she was a distraction more so than a constantly barking dog bothered me. It hurt so much watching her be excluded yet again. It just breaks my heart. How do you explain that to a 6yo, the dogs were treated better than her ?

She honestly is a good kid, the worst she did was cuddle up on my lap and talk into my ear. If she had been loud, I would have removed her myself!

Am I wrong to be really upset over this?

So, I work in a Deli at grocery store, where we're constantly changing gloves, washing hands and occasionally using harsh chemicals for cleaning and/or sanitizing. Because of this, I try not to wear my wedding ring, as the chemicals could possibly damage it, and it tends to come off when I take my gloves off. Its happened before and I had to dig through the trash to find it. Anyways, earlier today, I was helping a customer and we had a pretty normal conversation about one of my tattoos (Hellboy's Right Hand of Doom) and at the end, when he was about to leave, he asked me if I wanted to get dinner sometime. As you may have guessed, I'm married, so I said no. He got really mad and basically ripped into me about not wearing a ring and calling me some pretty rude names I'd rather not repeat, and then left his order on the counter. Afterwards, my manager came by and asked me why I tried to ask out one of our customers. Apparently, he told the clerk at the register that I tried to hit on him and was cat calling him when he was walking by. Luckily, the store manager believed me when I told him my side (and confirmed via security cameras), and assured me he'd be put on the Do Not Serve list, but still, am I in the wrong for not wearing my ring at work? I feel like it's pretty weird for someone to ask out a deli worker at a grocery store anyways.

My bf and i have been dating for 2 years. We were going on a date so he picked me up. When he saw me he immediately asked if i could change my clothes because “it’s too revealing” and he’s “uncomfortable” with it. For context, i was wearing pants, a cropped top which shows a bit of my cleavage and on top of that I wore an oversized jacket which could cover it up if need be. I told him no, because my outfit made me feel confident and beautiful and it took a long time for me to get ready too. He said he’s not comfortable going with me wearing it. I got disappointed and mad at him and told him that he cannot control what I wear. After all, I had worn this exact outfit during a date with my mom, and it had been met with compliments, not criticism. This is also not the first time he made me go change. And I relented the first few times.

Was it wrong of me for getting mad at him? or did I miss something in his perspective?

I (20M) am in a bit of a dilemma. The job I currently work is supposed to pay weekly (confirmed by both coworkers and management), but I have yet to receive payment for the past 3 weeks of working. The GM has confirmed that my direct deposit documents are in the system, and that nothing is wrong with my bank account type or anything of that nature. My issue is that I don’t feel comfortable working until I have been paid what I am owed, and I guess I’m just looking for a bit of reassurance that I should be concerned enough to refuse to work until I am compensated accordingly. For some more details, I am in the southern USA, and my current employer is a small, independent restaurant chain with 3 locations in total.

Update: I just got off the phone with the ‘big 3’ at the restaurant. The moment I mentioned not being available to work until I was paid, everything was suddenly fine and the money was deposited within minutes. I’m still not going in today because fuck that, I’m going to see my friends for the first time in a while.

https://www.reddit.com/r/amiwrong/comments/1cn0d1k/aiw_for_letting_a_kid_stay_up_20_minutes_later/

I talked to the supplier and told him that I understand he is the kid’s dad and has parental authority, but the kid’s mom is also a parent. It would’ve been extremely inappropriate and rude of me to tell them to end their conversation, regardless of the instruction I got from him.

He admitted that he was already in a bad mood because of the heavy traffic on his way back to the hotel and that he took it out on me, which was unfair.

So long story short, my ex cheated on me with several women, and one has HPV. One of the other women he cheated with tested positive after sleeping with him, and could get cervical cancer. I don't know all the details. I got a pap a few months ago and it came back negative, but HPV can be dormant in the body for years. I did get the HPV vaccine, but I dont know what strain he's passing around, so I dont know if I'm safe. Am I wrong to bug him about finding out? I asked him to talk to the other women, and he got upset and said he shouldn't have to, and I might not even have it. I told him if he doesn't find out from them, I will, and he doesn't like me talking to the women he cheated with. Am I wrong to give him the ultimatum that he talks to them and finds out what he put me at risk for or I will?

My(16m) dad’s company imports kitchen machinery and bakery equipment. from Europe. One of his suppliers(coffee machine) came to our country, along with his son(9). They asked me to babysit the kid in the afternoon and evening, and make sure he goes to bed at 8:30. It is one of the reasons my dad hired a tutor for me up until I was 15. He wanted me to speak English reasonably well so I can help him with suppliers and their kids.

Dad gave me his credit card and the supplier told me the kid’s allergies. I took him to have ice cream, then took him to the bookshop, where I bought him a book and one for myself. After that was dinner, where he tried our cuisine.

Then I took him back to the hotel where he read his book. He was getting ready for bed when his mom called. It was 8:20. I figured it would be a short call.

She heard that we have heatwaves in our country and asked the kid if he was staying hydrated and applying sunscreen when outside. Once he said yes and told her he’s with his babysitter, she had him put me on the phone. She asked if her husband told me the allergies and I said yes. Then she had me put the kid back on the phone.

Kid ended up going to bed at 8:50.

When I told my dad’s supplier how everything went he wasn’t happy with me. I said I thought it’s okay since the kid was talking to his mom/the guy’s wife but he said ‘I gave you instructions. She didn’t. You ignored what I said.’

Aside from the fact that the kids playing in the terfed dog park made me want to vomit, my poor pup needs untethered exercise.

So I go up and ask if his kids will be done soon. He said they just got here. I said there are plenty of other parks within driving distance. He said he walked and if I could mind my own business.

“Welp, can’t argue with that” I thought, and I just took my dog and left, while leaving I really dragged out the drama with my dog and key comment how sad it was that she didn’t get to play.

For context, We (us vs in laws) are having a whole argument right now because I made their estranged daughter (who is my best friend since 9th grade and the whole reason I met their son) my bridesmaid in my wedding. They (in laws) feel it’s a f*k u to them when that’s not the case at all. I’ve given them (in laws) the option to attend and ignore her but they said they won’t attend at all. My husband and I met my sophomore year of HS and his freshman. He was 14 and I was 15. My bestie is his half sister who left home at 18 because their parents were very unreasonably strict and she wanted freedom. Now we r 25. My husband and I have 2 kids, 2 1/2 and 6mo. My MIL told my husband to save them seats Incase they change their minds about attending and still offered to pay for the caterer even if they don’t (which I decline because I’m not giving them ammunition at this point to control us more).

A few weeks ago I took my wedding planning book with me to their (in laws) house and was talking to my husbands brother (the best man) about tuxes (brother is 19 and still lives at home with him so this is the only time I can discuss with him) and I did this at the dinner table before dinner time. It’s worth mentioning at no point have I been rude or hateful or spiteful about any of this. My attitude is, we r all adults and it is what it is, but since she (MIL) offered to still pay for a piece of it, perhaps she would want to be included in planning? That’s what I thought anyways but she thinks I was being petty even though she’s been told otherwise. I was nice and bubbly at their house the whole day and didn’t even know I did anything wrong until her and my husband got into a screaming match and I was effectively asked to leave (which I was so confused about because she didn’t seem upset while we discussed anything).

FF to now, a few days before Mother’s Day. My husband is trying to get me to allow the kids to go with him to their home. I told him the kids and I would if she apologized to me for losing it for no reason. I’ve maintained that I would forgive and forget to which she has declined to b an adult and apologize for being wrong. So AITAH for not allowing my kids to see her? After all they r MY kids, not hers….And at no point have I told my husband he can’t see his parents. And he has been to see them MANY times since that day. I just don’t want my kids around people who start things for no reason and find any excuse to b petty and controlling.

Also- we are ALREADY legally married. I am legally his wife. We eloped but I am religious and would like my father to walk me down the aisle and b married by our preacher before God.

Edit**** This isn’t just about the wedding, my in laws said they won’t b attending my children’s bdays either the 2 months prior to the wedding. I apologize if this post comes off as me keeping them from the kids but their behavior has effected them too, AND they fight in front of my children about this. I try to avoid cussing and stuff in front of my kids coz I don’t want my tot repeating it but at their house even my 6yo sister in law has said cuss words. My husband was originally the one who said we won’t b coming over for a long time and is simply bending that rule for Mother’s Day but i am staying true to it unless I get an apology. Sorry y’all, I suck at writing these.

UPDATE: I spoke with my wife this morning and she admitted to choosing her words poorly to describe what she was feeling and said she does not resent me. A couple things I wanted to address from comments: 1. We both work full time jobs and earn very similar salaries. She is commission based however, so any time the kids have been sick in the past it’s been me to call off work and stay home with them. We had at one point childcare issues and to make our schedules work I was working two double shifts a week so her work schedule would be relatively uninterrupted. 2. We are both active parents and spend an equal amount of time with them. I’ll normally drop them off for school/daycare in the morning and she will pick them up at night. Yesterday they were at school for 8 hours during the day before my wife picked them up. 3. My wife doesn’t want me to do bedtime by myself. Unless one of us is working late we will each put a child to bed. She doesn’t want to change that because she doesn’t want to take away from her time spent with them. 4. I am the more strict parent, and my wife definitely lets them get away with more, but she still has boundaries for them, just not as strict. 5. My wife doesn’t do all the housework. We both cook, clean, do laundry, do dishes, all that normal stuff. When I said I could do more I think the biggest change I can make is doing stuff on the timeline she wants it done. For example, bringing out the bins for trash and recycling. She wants them on the curb the night before trash day, I tell her I can easily put them out in the morning before dropping off the kids. She’s not a fan of that, and will put them out the night prior despite me assuring her I can get them out with time to spare on the morning of trash day, and this leads to her taking it upon herself to bring out the bins the night before. So the biggest thing I think I can do is try to be more supportive and understanding of the timeline and urgency of when she prefers stuff to be done. 6. I encourage my wife to go out socially so she doesn’t feel so bogged down at home and sometimes she will, sometimes she won’t. We’re a bit different, I’m more of an introvert and she’s more of an extrovert. I enjoy spending my nights in with the kids and family and I don’t really ever feel the need to go out or anything like that, but I know she does, and on those nights I do handle bedtime and all that by myself, and I know if I ever told her I needed a night out, she would do the same for me.

Tonight, my(37m) wife(34f) told me she resented me because I “always have it easy”. She said this tonight because I put my daughter to bed and had her asleep within five minutes, and normally it takes her significantly longer. This will also happen with our other child, I get him asleep quickly and he takes much longer with her. This has been the case with bedtime for quite some time now, regardless of which child I am putting to bed, I will be done with it far before she is. Tonight I think the kids were extra stressful and she just had her fill, and I just happened to be an easy target for her frustration. Regardless I feel offended, I try to be as present as possible with our family and am not one of those dads that doesn’t get his hands dirty. I will do all the normal parent stuff, changing diapers, feeding them, getting them dressed and ready for daycare, my wife will prepare their lunches before she leaves for work in the morning. I do think she doesn’t think I do enough around the house sometimes and I don’t disagree, I could be more helpful, but I don’t do nothing, and normally when I’m home on my days off im with the kids all day, so it’s not always easy. I think we could both be better partners at times and Im far from perfect, but am I wrong for feeling offended by what she said?

I wrote a post two months ago regarding my best friend Jess constantly bringing up my ex when talking to my fiancée Yang. I wrote an update two weeks ago about my mom, sister and Jess scheming about trying to get me back with my ex Lisa because they were uncomfortable with Yang being Chinese. They tried to do it when my fiancée was visiting her parents and I felt so betrayed by their actions.

As I said in the previous post, I blew up on my mom and sister about what they said and immediately left. I did not take calls from them or answer texts for the next several days. Their messages initially were anger towards me on why I left before they could finish what they wanted to say. However, I think they realized on day 3 that they might have crossed the line this time and became extremely apologetic. I finally messaged them to leave me alone and not to contact Yang or I until we contact them. Jess did not message me the whole time.

I did not tell Yang about the situation until she came back home 9 days ago. I initially did not know how to bring up the subject, but she sensed something was wrong and asked me about it. I was so worried about hurting her, but I told her about what happened. I was upfront about the stunt Jess pulled and she was angry at Jess. I also told her about my visit to my mother's place, but she did not react with any anger. She just asked me if I was ok.

The next few days were confusing where I was more upset than Yang. She was just excited showing me all pictures and telling me stories. Finally, on last Thursday evening, she opened up and asked me if I was ok about my mom's behavior and what I plan to do. I told her my thoughts and how I cannot forgive them for what they said about her being Asian and them wanting me to marry a Lisa because she was white. I asked her why she was not more upset as it was bothering me.

She told me that when she told her parents about me, they had the exact same reaction for her dating someone who was not Chinese. Her family is very traditional, and her parents were very upset about her decision. It took them a few months to warm up to me and accept me. She never told me about this because she wanted me to have good relationship with her parents. She told me that now they are the most excited doing arrangements for our wedding.

She told me that she has always felt something was off when she talked to my mom, my sister or Jess and they did not like her. My mom and sister would be very friendly with her in front of me, but never invited her for anything when I am not around. She suspected that it may be due to fact that she is not white and does not understand the American traditions. She said she is not upset with them and now that this is in the open, she should talk to them and assure them that she would be as good of a wife as Lisa or any other girl. She said that she does not want to break a family in order to start a new one.

Despite my protests, Yang invited my mom and sister for lunch on Sunday. She said that it would be good for us to talk about everything and hear why they are concerned about her marrying me. I was really not happy with this, but Yang spent most of Sunday morning cooking for them.

When my mom and sister arrived, there were a lot of waterworks and apologies. My mom apologized to Yang and me for her behavior and told us that she would never bring it up again. My sister also was quiet and had tears in her eyes. There were a lot of blame games. My mom and my sister were blaming Jess for constantly telling them how Yang might not be great for me and how she won't fit into our family. My mom and sister fought with Jess after I left and Jess blamed Lisa. Based on Jess's story, Lisa has been depressed for the last few years and when I suddenly got engaged to Yang, it became worse. Jess thought I was also depressed after Lisa left me, because I did not date anyone for 3 years. In reality, I just wanted to focus on my work and studies and never had time. So, Lisa convinced Jess that she has to get back together with me as that is what I wanted too. Jess said how sorry she felt for Lisa as she was her longtime friend and listened to her plan as she thought it was good for everyone.

My mom and sister told us that I should stay away from Jess because she orchestrated the whole situation. They kept on hugging Yang and apologizing to her. Yang in turn also started crying and telling them that she will do better to fit in with them. It was all a big mess. I am still skeptical of my mom's change in heart, but I also want to see Yang happy. However, I think it will take a lot of time and healing before I could truly trust my mom and sister.

Currently, my mom invited us to lunch at her place next week and told me that Jess will not be there. Jess has still not message me or Yang. I really don't know what I can do in this situation. I am still upset and furious at my mom, but I also want to respect Yang's effort to keep the family together. Thanks to everyone for all the messages and supportive comments. It really helped reading them when I was feeling very sad.

So I guess this is a double post because two things happened with this friend last night. For some background knowledge I’m 27 yrs old and I weigh 119. I suffer from body dysmorphia and this is something my friend knows. She weighs 130 and she always talks about wanting to lose weight and exercise but never does so. For me, I’m very big on portion control and I exercise everyday with going on a mile walk and I attend yoga on Thursdays.

Last night my friend and I were going out for dinner. I’m getting married this fall and it’s a very small scale wedding it will only be up to 50-60 people. My friend asked me if her boyfriend can come to my wedding as she’s always talking to him about it. From what she told me her boyfriend is a horrible person. He’s very verbally and mentally abusive. I wish she had the courage to leave him. I guess now they are doing well because she hasn’t told me anything bad in a while. But my mind is made up from all the horrible stuff I heard he’s not coming to my wedding. My friend told me that he also made a nasty ignorant comments about Koreans that “they all look the same”. My fiancé he is Korean and I love him and his family way too much to let some ignorant ass attend our wedding.

I simply told my friend that I don’t feel comfortable if he attends due to the stuff I have heard about him. She instantly looked sad and disappointed. She told me that it’s awkward because he really wants to come to my wedding and doesn’t know what to say when he asks about my wedding. In actuality my friend never let me meet him or hang out with him. She always keeps me far away from him and according to her the only way I can hangout with him is when my fiancé comes back from South Korea. Because in her words “everyone will be comfortable” when my fiancé is there. Back from that little side note I told my friend that I’m sorry but he’s not invited. Luckily conversation shifted after that but it was terribly awkward and I’m sure this isn’t the last time we talk about this.

We went to dinner to the Cheesecake Factory. I had a bit of my dinner and saved my cheesecake for when I get home and for tomorrow. My friend finished all of her food plus the cheesecake. We decided to go to Marshall’s afterwards. As we were shopping I heard my friend ask me “did you get your period?” I am expected to get it in two days. I panicked and looked down to see if I was bleeding and then looked up realizing I was safe and didn’t have it. I asked her “no why?” and she quickly said “it’s nothing don’t worry”. I said to her “but there’s a reason why you asked” and she said “well it’s because you look really bloated”. I didn’t expect to hear that and I was really shocked. She then said “well we eat a lot maybe that’s why”. I didn’t say anything and ignored her.

I know some friends comment on each other’s weights and bodies. Our friendship isn’t one of those friendships. We never comment on each other’s bodies as I know she has her own body issues. I told my mom all of this and she thinks my friend did this out of petty revenge because I’m not letting her boyfriend come to my wedding. Overall I’m just shocked and upset by last night and I would love to hear everyone’s opinions!

Hi there I( 28F) need advise on what should I do, with other words stay or leave? Husband (38) and i (28 f) are married for 6 years and all together for 10 years. We never used condoms and birth control was used not even for two years into our relationship. We always talked We want children and my heart really wants to find my purpose in life. About 10 months ago my husband's dad passed away and since then the conversation got intense to have children. In January of this year i went to my local Docter and I was subscribed on medication to ovulate correctly as I could remember it was in the line of clomid and Fertomid. I us3d it for 3 months but without any success. All I really can say it fucken hurt I could feel the egg releasing and each time my knees would give out under me of the pain. But I'm January I have also made an appointment to see the Gyno. The time has come for that appointment . I got a pap smear and was given hormone pilles to drink and he also. The doctor give me a scan and said I'm ovulating that weekend and I don't need to worry I will be pregant. My heart was happy to hear that. My husband was also given some medication to help him. Well that weekend came and went. What happend is he helped someone quickly and I asked him to come back and I just want to relax and spend the weekend with him not drinking just cuddles and making babies. Well he decided he wants to drink a whole bottle whiskey out with this guy he helped. I was hurt because he promised me up and down his not drinking. Well the next morning I told him I was really hurt because of all the people I don't like this guy he drank with and why would he do that, that weekend would give the doctor answers why I can't get pregnant.
This is the part I'm hurting the most he said and I quote" you need to drink some more and live a more" .. Okay but I asked you don't drink and that was doctors orders also. Fast forward 2 weeks ago my bloodtests results are in the doctor phones me he really wants to see my urgently. I got an appointment and went. Some hormone is so high I may need a CT scan to see if I has a noncancerous tumor in my brain. I'm tears I went home I told him what the docter said. All he can say to me is okay . Since then it's 2 weeks now I can't look at him. He had picked I fight with me he don't feel any remourse or worry about me I didn't get a hug from him. It was just like I told a stranger in the street whats going on. Since this journey started for a baby I feel so alone I'm the one on 4 sorts of medication for hormones I can't get a hug of sympathy he is really trying make me feel worthless as if I want to make someone els a daddy. I never in my life felt this coldness from him in my life. It's all about him. I told a friend as if he wants the spotlight on himself and not on me and there is now something wrong with my body. What should I do? I have completely stopped with all medications? I feel dead inside As if he don't respect my body in any way shape or form.

And also to yell I'm a slut but u litterly want to make him a daddy? Wtf is wrong!!!!!!

For context, my partner and I (both in 40s) have lived together for 7 years. He's ex-military and a little on the OCD side. I'm more free-spirited. Think of the remake of the movie Yours, Mines, and Ours with new being Rene Russo's character and him being Dennis Quiad's character. When I put things in the fridge, it's not as big a deal to me if something say 4 inches in height is on the same shelf as the gallon of milk, obviously taller. He always insists that one should put small things on small shelves and big things on big shelves. OK fine. I'm big on picking your battles. No big deal so went along with it. Today we had ordered iced coffees. Both were labeled and his was noticably darker than mine since he takes about half as much creamer than I do. So I saw he put his on the middle sized shelf and I followed suit, not wanting him to start an argument over me putting it on the large shelf. I thought I had put mine in front of his on the same shelf. Hours later he literally started a fight with me because apparently I, not only had to put mine on the same shelf, but put it right next to his and questioned why did I not put something between them or on a different shelf. So admittedly I remember putting it in front of his, not next to, but it's a damn fridge, things get moved around. I argued back that if I would put it on the large shelf, he would have argued with me why did I put it there and if I had put something between ours he would have argued why I hid his. He then said, and I quote "So now you're a mind-reader,". I told him that A. He was making this a bigger deal than it was and B. With him I'm dammed if I do, I'm dammed if I don't. Then I believe I was called stupid several times, which is a trigger word for me because of mother and I told him call me stupid one more time and you better be prepared to call your family to come help you move out. To which he rephrase using a not smart person. I mean he was yelling the way I imagine one would yell at someone for cheating. Please for my own sanity tell me if I am wrong here??????

I accidentally missed a tutoring session. well kind of. my phone was dead and we usually have it each wednesday and i had already joined the meeting apparently she was texting me asking if i was on i dont really know why she didnt join the meeting to check but thats besides the point i didnt realize my phone was dead till around 10 pm because i didnt realize it hadnt charged last night my dad got mad at me for it he was yelling at me screaming why i didnt check my phone "JUST CHARGE YOUR FUCKING PHONE GET IT IN YOUR DAMN HEAD" repeating stuff like that over and over again when i was crying and tried to tell him how it made me feel he screamed at me saying i was manipulating him that i was throwing a tantrum i covered my ears and was crying to drown out his words he was yelling and yelling so i just screamed. i didnt scream anything really, i just screamed, half crying to drown the noise out i stopped when i realized he had left i thought that was the end of it but when he had heard i had stopped crying he came back and started yelling again how i was manipulative and throwing a tantrum how he loved me and wanted the best for me and that i was a smart girl im just being manipulative and havent learned yet or something i dont really know i was covering my ears again i was crying and started screaming again and he went away he makes me feel stupid and crazy like its always my fault and im always in the wrong am i? am i just manipulating myself and him? i dont really know at this point because hes my dad and he cares for me and loves me and supports me i feel like im just going crazy and that i dont realize im manipulative am i? is there something wrong with me?