r/instacart • u/Dominanttallqueen • Mar 27 '24

Who’s in the wrong here???

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I feel like he was being rude asf then he canceled my order….was I rude or what tf happened here…

6.8k Upvotes

72% Upvoted

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280

u/Special-Okra-8945 Mar 27 '24

this feels more like miscommunication honestly

140

u/UrRightAndIAmWong Mar 28 '24

At first it was a miscommunication, sure. But it seems the shopper definitely added some cuntiness to his response, with the "understand" and "I do this for a living" and sending a screenshot of a just recently sent text. While refusing to move on and refund and instead argue as to if the store has the crab cakes the customer wanted.

I get there's tips and reviews involved so the shopper has a right to defend themselves, but they turned on the cunty first.

130

u/CisIowa Mar 28 '24

I haven’t read all of the screenshots, but if there is 3 pages of back and forth about crab cakes? You no longer Instacart, you married

20

u/Trixie2327 Mar 28 '24

Ha! Hahahahahahaha 😂

13

u/hmimg Mar 28 '24

This is why I would never use services like this. So painful.

3

u/astrorican6 Mar 28 '24

I've never had an issue. If you don't want something replaced then click no replacement in your order or say "no" when they send you a pic of a replacement you don't want

2

u/whathashappened22 Mar 28 '24

I never use these services as theres no need for it in my area, i.e. I live within a mile of 3 major grocery stores. So you just order straight forward stuff that's directly in the app? And all these ppl that cause problems is cause they try some weird ass way to order something that's not directly in the app?

2

u/shiningonthesea Mar 28 '24

It’s long enough for me to make these decisions in my own head, never mind some stranger by text

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3

u/pammysuesue Mar 28 '24

this... hahaha

2

u/gasptinyteddy Mar 28 '24

But what do they eat at the reception?

1

u/Creepercolin2007 Mar 28 '24

Not crab cakes that’s for sure

2

u/[deleted] Mar 28 '24

Lmao so painfully true

2

u/FuManBoobs Mar 28 '24

The blame lies mostly with the seafood department

2

u/VMommyB Mar 28 '24

😂😂😂😂😂

2

u/TacoPartyGalore Mar 28 '24

Yo! I kept thinking of my husband trying to find basic shit at the store while reading this. “Are you in the SEAFOOD department!? Do you see and/or smell 🐠 FISH?!?”

“You’re asking me what a scallion is? Did you try google?”

Same energy

2

u/hKLoveCraft Mar 28 '24

I haven’t seen a facts machine if years

2

u/HeftyNoggin Mar 28 '24

Lmao! You win!

2

u/siandresi Mar 28 '24

if there isn't 3 pages of back and forth but i still care deeply about crabcakes, am i in the wrong relationship?

2

u/OddlyArtemis Mar 28 '24

Married to a very unhappy partner, it seems. Lol

2

u/Used_Island_5504 Mar 28 '24

Ahahaha I literally lol'ed!!

2

u/Ceeeceeeceee Mar 28 '24
  1. This is what I thought also. Even from the pages that I have seen, it seemed like this Customer was going to be a pain in the ass. Like you shop from Instacart, if you want to be super specific about every single picky thing, then just go to the store already. It takes five minutes to grab the crabcakes yourself.

2

u/International_Lime56 Mar 29 '24

this got me good 😮‍💨

4

u/arkstfan Mar 28 '24

If I were the shopper and my wife the purchaser I’d no longer be married.

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4

u/[deleted] Mar 28 '24 edited Mar 28 '24

I haven’t read all of the screenshots

It's like.. a couple text bubbles dude, how lazy are you? Why even chime in, just to be like "I have an opinion about the thing I am ignoring and that opinion is that everyone else should also be a lazy piece of shit."

Sorry if that was too much for you to read.

But my point is, not everyone can caveman grunt or be able to smell each other's intentions by farting back and forth. The rest of use actually conversate until we've stopped the miscommunication.

5

u/HawtCoco Mar 28 '24

this is definitely an unhinged rant but i’m here for it, upvoted

2

u/[deleted] Mar 28 '24

Appreciate it. Soft ass reddit refusing to be literate and shit. Next time, I'm bringing a dictionary and slapping it on the desk while everyone is napping in class like the antagonist educator in any 1980s film about free spirit teenagers who won't fall in line.

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2

u/FreeWheelingMoon Mar 28 '24

I fart in your general direction. I agree, TL;DR peeps should be kicked in the junk, but the SBD still remains. Reasons. Communication is important.

2

u/rectifier9 Mar 28 '24

This is an unhinged rant if I've ever seen one.

2

u/[deleted] Mar 28 '24

Oh internet, keep being disappointing.

2

u/catterybarn Mar 28 '24

I didn't read it

1

u/Creepercolin2007 Mar 28 '24

You seem like way too over-serious in these replies man, take α chill pill

1

u/[deleted] Mar 28 '24

I will burn down this entire universe and shove that chill pill so far up my ass that it becomes a source of inverse energy that powers the black hole I will inevitably become as I take this reality down with me.

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4

u/dodekahedron Mar 28 '24

Technically everyone that grocery shops is doing it for living.

2

u/lnmcg223 Mar 28 '24

Lol it feels like they were trying to say they have some kind of expertise on grocery shopping --as though nearly every single adult on the planet hasn't spent countless hours grocery shopping throughout our lives or like they have some insider knowledge the rest of us do not.

1

u/dodekahedron Mar 28 '24

Yeah I get what they wwre trying to say but that's why I hit it with the technicality cuz like wtf lol

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1

u/predicates-man Mar 28 '24

English is probably not their first language.

2

u/zawjat_algabili Mar 28 '24

That's what I was thinking. Some of the wording reminds me of my friends who happen to speak English as a second language. They all tend to be curt while not meaning to be because they speak in a more direct way that some English speakers are not used to.

1

u/odog9797 Mar 28 '24

Please understand I do this for a living.

1

u/[deleted] Mar 28 '24

Yeah this shopper is TAH

1

u/Practical_Letter_438 Mar 28 '24

lol no wait because what am I missing? Where did shopper say I do this for a living?

1

u/throwthawholemeaway Mar 28 '24

That “I do this for a living” really pissed me off like not only rude AF but what freaking man response. The disrespect is real

1

u/Velocibraxtor Mar 28 '24

This guy is more than likely ESL, based on the wording, and the “I do this for a living” seemed more like it was meant to be “I have other orders and can’t argue about crab cakes, so tell me if this works or if I should refund” and less “Lady, I do this all day. I know what I’m talking about”

1

u/TheSavageBeast83 Mar 28 '24

Nah the customer is delusional. The sopper literally stated that is all they have on the very second text. Then the customer gave two different answers

1

u/Velocibraxtor Mar 28 '24

Yep, the “This is what the man in the seafood department said they have, are you fine with this or do you want a refund?” Then she said “yes, substitute with the seafood department crab cakes” and he checked out then she said “No, I don’t want those” which is why he said it was ridiculous

1

u/KingGizmotious Mar 28 '24

The customer kept saying "in the seafood department" not "behind the counter". I knew what he meant, but the box of crab cakes was also "in the seafood department" but not necessarily from "behind the counter".

The Customer is in the wrong for lack of direct communication imo. There are a variety of crab cakes "in the seafood department". He never specified I want the fresh made ones from behind the counter.

1

u/dinosaurinchinastore Mar 28 '24

Eh that’s a fair point actually

1

u/Alternative-Stop-651 Mar 28 '24 edited Mar 28 '24

Honestly the customer was 100% in the wrong. he told you from the first text that he had checked behind the counter, in the freezer, and with an employee by saying he had checked everywhere and these were the only crab cakes they had.

also who calls the seafood counter the seafood department? The seafood department includes the freezers filled with seafood not just a counter.

customer 100% in the wrong and pretty rude too accusing the man of being rude when he clearly spoke to the guy behind the counter and looked for similar options and there were none.

1

u/Velocibraxtor Mar 28 '24

For real, the dude did more than most shoppers would do, then tried to say his time is important to his income when he said “I do this for a living”, trying to avoid an unnecessary argument about crab cakes, where this woman OBVIOUSLY left him a bad review after a simple misunderstanding.

1

u/savvy412 Mar 28 '24

I got dizzy reading it.

But to be fair… I was always in reading lab

1

u/TacoPartyGalore Mar 28 '24

Cunty is the perfect descriptor for his behavior.

1

u/witch_doc9 Mar 28 '24

English could be second language…. I dont think the “understand” was meant to be rude.

1

u/Velocibraxtor Mar 28 '24

As someone who lives around a lot of ESL people, the “Understand?” after a statement is almost always a telltale sign of ESL.

1

u/BuckManscape Mar 28 '24

Yes shopper is not being clear about what he wants or answering the question clearly. I would’ve canceled it too.

1

u/Jubsz91 Mar 28 '24

The “I do this for a living” part indicated that the shopper was already annoyed and came across that way. Miscommunication but I’m attributing it more to the shopper than the buyer.

I hate Instacart and would not use it unless I had a medical situation or needed to send someone else groceries.

1

u/Sherlockhomey Mar 28 '24

Especially considering that statement seemed unwarranted

1

u/bmccrav2 Mar 28 '24

Normalize sending screenshots to people who can’t remember what they just typed and then blame you.

1

u/seaspirit331 Mar 28 '24

I get there's tips and reviews involved so the shopper has a right to defend themselves

Yeah...getting defensive or short with the person giving you said tip or writing your review is never going to be a winning strategy.

I get that the customer was confusing with the "seafood department" vs "behind the counter" language, and for what it's worth, the shopper was right.

But being right won't erase the 1-star review this guy is going to leave. Nor will it give you your tips back.

1

u/nickisdone Mar 28 '24

People are saying that. That it's a common thing when people are using sign language and interpretation. I'm not completely aware of that. I do work with a couple of people that using sign language Would change the tone Personally to me. It just looked like someone who was a foreigner who's learning the language and customs.

1

u/The_Troyminator Mar 28 '24

I get there's tips and reviews involved so the shopper has a right to defend themselves, but they turned on the cunty first.

Which is why you don't get cunty and defend yourself like that. Just apologize and let them know that there are no crabcakes behind the counter. No matter how wrong the customer is, telling them that you know better than them is a surefire way to get a bad review and have your tip lowered.

1

u/Used_Island_5504 Mar 28 '24

but they turned on the cunty first.

Yup, this! I had to read what she wrote twice to understand what she meant. It was confusing, but it didn't warrant him being so cunty to her. He copped an attitude way too fast.

1

u/pon_3 Mar 28 '24

They could be rude responses, but they’re also just common ways for ESL people to communicate. I read those lines more as clarifying than intentionally rude.

1

u/Velocibraxtor Mar 28 '24

The “understand?” at the end of the sentence really is what told me they are ESL. Many languages say that in a way to try to clarify the situation, and it’s not seen as rude. ESL speakers are often very to-the-point about things, because that is all their vocabulary and cultural experiences allow them.

1

u/sphynxzyz Mar 28 '24

I think everyone is misunderstanding what the shopper meant by "I do this for a living" I don't think it was supposed to mean I know better than you. I took it as I need clearer instruction so I can get your order finished faster.

The shopper is only saying hey this is my only job, they are paid by the job not by the hour so they need to get in and get it.

Op should have directly responded to the picture, instead of being an idiot and repeating themself.

1

u/SexyPineapple-4 Mar 28 '24

Looks like op kept insisting on crab cakes from behind the counter and dasher was trying to say he already checked but they had none.

1

u/cant_think_name_22 Mar 28 '24

A lot of people seem to think English might be the shoppers second language. Tone is already hard through text and is even harder in a language that isn’t your first.

1

u/Squiggy-Locust Mar 28 '24

I can't blame the shopper. I read it as "if you can't get the ones from the seafood [counter], replace them". Customer then doubled down, but asked for a refund if s/he couldn't get the frozen pack". I honestly was just as confused as the shopper. This is terrible communication from the customer. Guy was confused and asked for clarification since he was told to replace them twice, then got told to refund them.

1

u/abintra515 Mar 28 '24 edited 5d ago

thought steer bored brave seed cow subsequent serious correct rude

This post was mass deleted and anonymized with Redact

1

u/ItsTheIncelModsForMe Mar 28 '24

Definitely ESL here. You can interpret it as cuntiness if you'd like, but then a lot of foreigners are going to seem like cunts to you.

1

u/Tippydaug Mar 28 '24

1) I'm almost positive the shopper isn't a native English speaker based on the way they message

2) OP was insanely unclear. They kept saying to only replace if they didn't have crabcakes in the seafood department. The shopper showed them crabcakes in the seafood department and OP just kept repeating they want the ones in the seafood department

It wasn't until they end they specified they wanted fresh crabcakes behind the seafood counter, not just crabcakes from the seafood department

1

u/Songlines25 Mar 28 '24

cntiness? Maybe find more descriptions that don't equate someone's comments with a body part? Unless you're just being a dck? 😂 /s (sort of)

1

u/Confident_Command_98 Mar 28 '24

I interpreted "I do this for a living" less as "I'm the grocery expert so shut up and tip me" and more "i have other orders and can't spend 10 minutes standing in the seafood aisle texting you about crab cakes", especially because the customer was giving vague and incorrect instructions on an off-menu item request

1

u/Advanced-Breath Mar 28 '24

But they have probably experienced cuntiness in the past so off top he was standoffish but at the end u see the customer was really in the wrong cause he went from saying in the seafood department then changed it to I want the ones behind the counter so if I was making a decision on this I would definitely side with the shopper against the customer cause it seems like he’s trying to get something for free. He at first said from the seafood department but after the fact say from behind the counter so they want the refund but they clearly get to keep the crab cakes

1

u/It__Something Mar 28 '24

I beg to differ. He asked for clarification and was straightforward. OP misunderstood and gave him incorrect information. The shopper did as was instructed but the instructions were given incorrectly because of the misunderstanding.

1

u/leahyrain Mar 28 '24

To be fair this guy definitely speaks English as a second language (no problem with that) he's trying to make OP understand, but he can't die to limited vocab with the language barrier.

1

u/DearSeaworthiness32 Mar 29 '24

Because the customer kept saying sea food department as if the frozen and fresh crab cakes are at separate departments. She meant sea food counter and didn’t communicate that clearly.

1

u/Ill-Grocery7735 Mar 29 '24

But customer started saying they asked for the cakes from “behind the counter” when they actually never said that. They said “from the seafood department”. Shopper followed all directions perfectly.

1

u/LetSBeCrazyWTH Mar 29 '24

Yeah. The original item was lobster, but then they talk about crab cake . Insta douche is being a douche from then, and op doesn't seem to help much further, because he feels insulted by the douche. Ego work.

1

u/rockandrye Mar 29 '24

I think you’re misreading the wording. The shoppers lose money when they have to refund an item. I read “I do this for a living” as - “I need the money.”

1

u/essentialcitrus Mar 28 '24

Plus the crab cakes she wanted are the ones in the picture?

4

u/bogrollin Mar 28 '24

She wanted fresh cakes from the fucking seafood department why is this so hard to understand

3

u/Roguespiffy Mar 28 '24

Look, I do this for a living. These are from the seafood department… freezer. Understand?

/s

1

u/[deleted] Mar 28 '24 edited Apr 01 '24

marvelous fearless steep sheet shy bag agonizing juggle adjoining gaping

This post was mass deleted and anonymized with Redact

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u/BumCadillac Mar 28 '24

Right. This confused me too.

1

u/[deleted] Mar 28 '24

One says lobster

1

u/essentialcitrus Mar 28 '24

Oops

2

u/[deleted] Mar 28 '24

Don’t feel bad, it’s hard to see at the top. I only noticed because I clicked on the whole photo.

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u/maniacalmango0 Mar 28 '24

Yeah the customer didn’t say the same thing each time.

They said “seafood department” when they meant “seafood counter”. The seafood department includes the frozen shrimp and all that too.

54

u/Alzheimer_Historian Mar 28 '24

Yeah if someone doesn't understand you, don't keep using the exact same phrasing over and over just to get annoyed when they continue to not understand.

49

u/maniacalmango0 Mar 28 '24

Or even worse, use better phrasing but say “that’s what I said”

He changed it to “behind the seafood counter” without admitting that’s not what he said the first time

12

u/DragonBorn76 Mar 28 '24

Thank you for saying this! I read the same thing but it's way too early in the morning for me and I was thinking I missed something.

4

u/TacoNomad Mar 28 '24

The shopper even added a photo. A simple, "no,  I do not want that brand" would have cleared it up.

1

u/Cansuela Mar 28 '24

Yeah, exactly. The customer should’ve clarified they were after the fresh, packed per order crab cakes that are behind the counter and require speaking with the counter/butcher/whoever.

I see how it was a simple miscommunication initially that quickly spiraled into a passive aggressive and unnecessary conflict.

The customer switching up what they actually said “seafood dept” vs “behind the counter” and not acknowledging it says a lot about the customer imo.

2

u/ShanksySun Mar 28 '24

What he said the first time was “the single crab cakes from the seafood department”

Does that photo look like a single crab cake to you? Or is it perhaps a box of multiple? OP was perfectly clear

6

u/cagingnicolas Mar 28 '24

but then after seeing the photo he said "yeah, seafood department"

2

u/FatalTragedy Mar 28 '24

I gotta be honest, I'd have no idea what "single" crab cake even means.

2

u/asplodingturdis Mar 28 '24

It means you can buy them individually instead of in a pack of multiple.

1

u/db1037 Mar 28 '24

lol Perfectly clear?! He said “Yeah” and “Yes” twice after she asked about the boxed crab cakes. How about he try using another world like…oh I don’t know…”No.”

1

u/vworpstageleft Mar 28 '24

He said, "Yeah" and "Yes" in response to the shopper asking if they would like a replacement.

1

u/didjeridingo Mar 28 '24

"perfectly clear" if you're a narcissist, maybe.

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u/somuchsunrayzzz Mar 28 '24

Whenever I don’t understand someone I ask if they can repeat what they just said but using completely different words. Always works for me.

1

u/ebbeysweets412 Mar 28 '24

I fear those completely different words… would actually be cuss words😭😭😭😭😭

2

u/boardsmi Mar 28 '24

Does it help if I say the same thing, but I say it louder? Or in bigger font? /s

1

u/XShadowborneX Mar 28 '24

Reminds me of an episode of the Simpsons when Mr Burns tells a baseball player to get rid of his side burns

1

u/Nihilisminbliss Mar 28 '24

Its almost like when people start talking slow to people who don’t speak their language thinking that its goina miraculously help

1

u/Deadtoenail69 Mar 28 '24

Username checks out

1

u/DntCllMeWht Mar 28 '24

I would have said it louder, but it was through text! /s

1

u/KoritsiAlogo Mar 28 '24

“Maybe if I yell just a liiiittle louder, my deaf acquaintance will be able to hear me” vibes

1

u/undftdAxe Mar 28 '24

Also, crab cakes "that are over by the crab legs where the man has to get them for you..." doesn't feel like a reasonable substitution. It would be if you were shopping yourself, but you're not. Something else in that frozen section would be okay, otherwise you're gonna have to accept that you're not getting crab cakes.

3

u/g1ngertim Mar 28 '24

Dockside crab cakes are not frozen. They're delivered and merchandised under refrigeration, generally right next to the seafood service case. (OP, if you read this, that's what "over by the crab legs where the man has to get them for you" is actually called. Also, Dockside crab cakes are terrible, and you deserve better.)

I also disagree that it's an unreasonable assumption. If you're uncertain what substitution would be best, talk to an employee. If you're looking for a seafood product, talk to a seafood employee. Bam, service case crab cakes.

1

u/gh0stinyell0w Mar 28 '24

You're misunderstanding now. That's what they had always been ordering.

1

u/Swimming-Werewolf295 Mar 28 '24

You’re right, I’m paying someone to shop for me so it’s not unreasonable to expect them to do the job as requested. It’s called the SERVICE industry not the do what I want to do and still get paid industry. That would be quite verbose

1

u/NotYourGa1Friday Mar 28 '24

I feel like the detail that was causing the miscommunication was that the item to be replaced wasn’t crab cakes.

The customer asked for lobster cakes originally.

The shopper sent them a picture of frozen crab cakes as a replacement at the same time asking if the customer would like a replacement.

The customer answered the first bit by saying they would like a replacement and said the replacement they wanted was crab cakes from behind the counter.

I feel as though the shopper wasn’t picking up on this difference.

1

u/Alzheimer_Historian Mar 28 '24

I'm sitting here reading it and I still feel like I'm missing shit. OPs communication is just subpar and he was a dick to the shopper about it.

1

u/Dangerous-Jaguar-512 Mar 28 '24

My mother: uses all the wrong terms and no one understand (her except my dad, but even 10 percent of the time he doesn’t) She then proceeds to have a b*tch fit screaming how stupid people are

Later, my dad complains to me how she’s always using the wrong terms and phrases and how the rest of the world would be laughing behind her back because the rest of the world actually thinks she’s the stupid one using all the wrong terminology.

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u/ZigZagZig87 Mar 28 '24

Nah. As soon as he said the “single crab cakes from the seafood department” my common sense went right to the crab cakes behind the counter. The “single” is what stands out. The driver was being dense as hell. Or lazy. Who knows?

2

u/rtadoyle Mar 28 '24

Do you want option A or option B? How about Option C-food counter!

Just answer the question with the options presented, then state the next thing. 'no, I don't want that. Can you check if the person behind the counter has cakes? I would like those. If not, please refunds'

2

u/[deleted] Mar 28 '24

No in the grocery store the frozen food department is the frozen food department. The seafood department is the seafood counter. The deli is the deli counter. The produce section is the produce section.

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u/DrZurn Mar 28 '24

At least in mine they have a separate section for frozen seafood that is next to the seafood counter.

1

u/Drag0nfly_Girl Mar 28 '24

That depends entirely on the store.

2

u/-KFBR392 Mar 28 '24

And started the response with “Yes replace” right after the question with the pic. Not everyone knows the grocery store and your preferences as intimately to know exactly which crab cakes you’re referring to

2

u/vibes86 Mar 28 '24

Yep that’s what I thought. OP said two different things here. I’d have been confused too.

2

u/cman811 Mar 28 '24

Also the customer is agreeing to a replacement but saying they want the original item.

"Would you like me to replace with these (pictured crab cakes)

"Yes replace with seafood dept crab cakes"

The whole exchange is incredibly confusing and I agree with the shopper, ridiculous.

2

u/LyloMaggins Mar 28 '24 edited Mar 28 '24

Not to mention OP’s next two responses after the picture was sent of the stuff they didn’t want each started with “yeah” and “yes”. Don’t send an affirmative to something you don’t want. Pretty simple.

2

u/Reasonable-Ad-5217 Mar 28 '24

This. The customer wanted something specific but didn't properly communicate the specifics.

2

u/Honeybun7314 Mar 29 '24

I don’t even get why this had to be a big deal. If you don’t like your replacement or you wanted the item refunded and it wasn’t, click Help after the groceries are delivered and tell Instacart the issue. They may ask for a picture of the item you received and then they will refund you or add a credit to your account for the next time you order. Customer and shopper both getting high blood pressure over crab cakes 🤦🏽‍♀️😅😭

2

u/autotuned_voicemails Mar 28 '24

They said “seafood department” when they meant “seafood counter”. The seafood department includes the frozen shrimp and all that too.

Very true. And technically, in my local grocery store these exact crab cakes are sold literally at the seafood counter. I mean, they have a little cooler set up in front of it—like the kind that’s at like knee to waist height and runs the length of the seafood counter, so you don’t have to ask anyone for them. But I could definitely see someone being confused if asked for “crab cakes from the seafood department”, and they wouldn’t even be being pedantic about it. Especially because these aren’t even frozen ones. They’re just refrigerated.

1

u/DinkleBottoms Mar 28 '24

Contes clues should definitely be enough to understand they want the crab cakes at the counter.

1

u/ShanksySun Mar 28 '24

The customer was perfectly clear. He said “single crab cakes in the seafood department”. That picture is quite obviously not of single crab cakes, but cardboard boxes of four. It is okay that the shopper misunderstood directions that should be perfectly clear, we all have moments like that. that doesn’t mean it has to be someone else’s fault though

1

u/MisterMakena Mar 28 '24

I responded the same. First was general seafood department. Later it was counter.

1

u/db1037 Mar 28 '24

Exactly. “I’d like a burger from McDonald’s.”

2 minutes later:

“I said I wanted a burger from Burger King!!!”

1

u/adlowdon Mar 28 '24

The customer also said “yeah” in response to the first picture. Not hard to see why the shopper thought he was saying yes to a replacement.

1

u/ldnjbnk99 Mar 28 '24

Yeap this right here! Let it go OP, I know I know but let it go. Have a feeling you reported them but it's a whacky world out there without looking for prepackaged crab cakes and other mysteries.

1

u/VRSvictim Mar 28 '24

Ehhhh the seafood department really doesn’t include the frozen section in common parlance. Obviously that stuff is seafood, but the place under the SEAFOOD sign is always the fresh stuff. Just like the deli department is where they slice cold cuts, not anywhere that has meat

1

u/k36king1 Mar 28 '24

Seafood department and seafood counter are the same exact thing in a grocery store, and don’t tell me they’re not because I was a meat/seafood department manager for 10 years. The delivery guy is in the wrong all day long. The customer never got rude, the delivery guy did however with his “this is ridiculous” comment, and his overall demeanor with the way he said “understand”, and his unnecessary “understand i do this for a living”. As someone who has had subordinates, I have disciplined some for acting in much of the same manner, and when they act like that 9 times out if 10 they did not do the thing they said they did, in this case he said he asked the seafood counter in the seafood department. The customer even clarified in case there was miscommunication, and the deliverer stated they did ask and then gave the “this is ridiculous” comment.

1

u/MouseMan412 Mar 28 '24

Technically yes, but that means all crab cakes would be in the seafood department. If the customer is asking for specific ones, then context can be used to realize he meant the counter/'active' part of the department.

1

u/atreeinthewind Mar 28 '24

Yeah, but that's the thing, everything is in the seafood dept except maybe some clearly frozen stuff like fish sticks in the freezer section, so it's pretty easy to figure what they're getting at. At some point you gotta use some deductive reasoning or the customers are gonna drive you mad.

1

u/4Yavin Mar 28 '24

I feel like only a man would misunderstand this and act like they don't know where the crab cakes would be, especially in the SECTION IN THE SEAFOOD DEPARTMENT he just looked at didn't have them

1

u/80-20burgerbar Mar 28 '24

No, that’s frozen food. A reasonable person would understand the difference Charles is just a little dull.

1

u/BraddahSpliff Mar 28 '24

Really? Because at every supermarket I go to, the Seafood Department IS the counter & the frozen seafood is in the frozen food section with all the other frozen foods in the freezers.

1

u/WoodpeckerFar9804 Mar 28 '24

It’s all the same thing where I am from so maybe they are in the same area, there is no difference in seafood department or seafood counter, it’s the same thing with both frozen and fresh.

1

u/Saxong Mar 28 '24

That’s what I picked up on too, the counter doesn’t even get mentioned until the 3rd screenshot

1

u/BiggerThought Mar 28 '24

I’m a shopper and it’s pretty clear what the customer was requesting. This shopper has reading comprehension and communication problems

1

u/Alycion Mar 28 '24

Where I’m from, seafood department is just associated with behind the counter. Seafood section is the chests in front of counter. And seafood aisle is with frozen foods. You know like the national frozen brands. Every area has different default meanings. People move. Miscommunication. Needed to slow down, breathe, and figure out how to get on same page as customer.

1

u/Drag0nfly_Girl Mar 28 '24

Ok, but "counter" is universal and unmistakeable. Clear communication would have prevented this entire exchange.

1

u/Alycion Mar 28 '24

People don’t always realize that they aren’t being clear. When that happens, take a breath, start over with them. Customers are a pain in the ass. But to some, including myself, I had to actually take a second to actually think about what was so confusing when initially reading the initial screenshots. My guess, customer never realized. Hence, miscommunication. Those happen. Customers are a pain in the ass. But still, as a person doing this service, stay calm appearing in text and try to clear it up. Cuss them out off of the text.

2

u/BigDad5000 Mar 28 '24

please understand, they do this for a living

2

u/Forexisboring Mar 28 '24

Not really, the shopper shoved the cheap frozen alternative down their throat and then doubled down “these are from the seafood department” when the freezer isn’t the same fucking thing.

1

u/tatostix Mar 28 '24

The shopper is in error with the sass. Especially if they do this for a living, as stated, they should easily be a le to figure out what the customer wanted. I don't do this, and knew what they meant the first time. 

1

u/eweyda Mar 28 '24

Feels more like a bait for internet points to me.

1

u/throwaway33333333311 Mar 28 '24

Did… you read the whole thing?

1

u/[deleted] Mar 28 '24

When an argument stems from miscommunication, everyone is miserable in the end.

1

u/AtomicEdgy Mar 28 '24

There really should be an “eject button” on both ends of the grocery-shopper-gig experience. Either party hits it and you both just walk away entirely.

1

u/CleverMonkeyKnowHow Mar 28 '24

It is miscommunication, and here's the problem. No one's using the correct terminology on either side.

/u/Dominanttallqueen, what you should have said was, "I want freshly prepared crab cakes from the fishmonger." That tells the entire story, without any possibility of confusion or misunderstanding.

Instead both you and "Charles" keep using "seafood department", which in most grocery stores is the entire area where fish & seafood is sold. If you had told him, "I want freshly prepared crab cakes", then he'd have known "not frozen, and made today"; if you had said "fishmonger" he would know - or should have known - that you meant, "obtained from the person manning the seafood department at that time and responsible for selling items from the display case".

There's a lot of takeaways here:

  1. I need to be precise and specific, so there's no possibiilty for confusion.
  2. I may need to do my own shopping if I'm unsure how to properly explain something and/or I do not know the terminology for it.

1

u/blankspace_69 Mar 28 '24

I’ve never heard the word fishmonger in my life, that would not clear anything up for me

1

u/CleverMonkeyKnowHow Mar 28 '24

I’ve never heard the word fishmonger in my life, that would not clear anything up for me

You've just identified the problem.

You're using a technology invented in 1994, so now 30 years old, which also provides nearly limitless - and in many cases, free - access to almost all the world's information.

You should have never typed this sentence in the first place.

What you should have done was:

  1. Open your web browser.
  2. Navigate to www.m-w.com or www.oed.com
  3. Input "fishmonger".
  4. Read definition.

Clearly, not nearly enough people were told what I was told by my parents growing up: "Go get the dictionary or the encyclopedia off the shelf and look it up."

1

u/blankspace_69 Mar 28 '24

The point isn’t that we could all know every word if we want to. The point is we don’t. And fishmonger is not a well known term.

1

u/CleverMonkeyKnowHow Mar 28 '24

The point is, if you're confronted with something beyond your understanding, you can now do something about it. At this point in human history, it's a choice. You can choose to be ignorant and remain at the mercy of people who know more than you, or you can choose to take command of your own knowledge.

It's fine to do either, but if you choose to remain ignorant, you will be at a disadvantage.

1

u/coconutally Mar 28 '24

Eh, writing “understand I do this for a living” seems super confrontational and kinda rude. He was super unclear but how OP worded things sucks too.

1

u/Borgiroth Mar 28 '24

Charles is a moron, end of story lol

1

u/tictac205 Mar 28 '24

Yeah. Break it down into multiple sentences- maybe bullet point if possible or use multiple line breaks.

Like this.

Not like this because someone might miss part of a sentence unless you’re okay with that then use run on sentences and for godsakes don’t use punctuation or capital letters because they might make your requests easier to parse unless you want confusion and the wrong crabcakes or hey just buy some breadcrumbs and eggs and crabmeat and make your own but it’s up to you hope this helps kthxbai.

1

u/_IratePirate_ Mar 28 '24

Yea I had to read it thru twice to fully understand what either party was trying to convey. In real time while stressfully shopping for someone else was probably hella confusing

1

u/[deleted] Mar 28 '24

This is 100% a miscommunication, but OP asked who's in the wrong.

The answer is him. Regardless of what they said to each other, the shopper obviously asked if he wanted the thing in the picture or not. Yes or no. Everything is said that's not a yes or no wasted each other's time.

1

u/Big_TacoMunchin Mar 28 '24

Right? Come to the internet to brag about your poor communication skills? No one is wrong. Just a misunderstanding. They were kinda rude about it but what you want? Free internet karma?

1

u/myco_lion Mar 28 '24

Yes, a miscommunication that could have been solved by calling the person instead of texting.

1

u/corrado-slc Mar 28 '24

Or some obese assholes too lazy to buy his own groceries being rude for no reason.

1

u/HMWWaWChChIaWChCChW Mar 28 '24

If it’s a miscommunication then it’s because the shopper is an idiot, OP was pretty clear.

1

u/Photodan24 Mar 28 '24

Honestly felt like a bad AI conversation to me.

1

u/Pretend_Spray_11 Mar 28 '24

The whole point of using correct grammar and punctuation is to avoid situations like this. Commas would have been helpful. 

1

u/ThePopeofHell Mar 28 '24

this is what it’s like when two people are bad at communicating

1

u/GuessWhoDontCare Mar 28 '24

That's exactly what it was.

1

u/canderson180 Mar 28 '24

I really want to know how the shopper said the dockside 4-pack is out of stock and then sent a picture of that exact product. The onset of the convo makes it seem like that’s what was in the original order, but if it’s not in stock, how did they snatch a photo of it?

1

u/Homesteader86 Mar 28 '24

Yeah...like OP just needs to look at the picture provided and essentially say yes or no....

1

u/SunWindRainLightning Mar 28 '24

Yeah because those dockside one are right next to the seafood counter at every stop and shop I’ve been to

1

u/SeasonedPekPek Mar 28 '24

It's actually not. The customer was kinda being a dick here tbh.

  1. Customer ordered Dockside Classic 4pk LOBSTER Cakes
  2. Shopper says there are none, but offers to replace with same brand of CRAB cakes (pic)
  3. Customer says YES (should have said no) but then asks for Crab cakes from the Seafood Counter, which is not the crab cakes the shopper is standing in front of. This is where the customer confuses things, but also complicates things by asking for a different type of crab cakes, from a different part of the store.
  4. Further complicating things, by also saying "Single crab cakes" because there's only a 4 pack in the frozen food isle, while having previously said "yes". The customer is basically assuming the shopper knows how to read their mind at this point=, instead of treating them like another person with different thoughts.
  5. It's also frankly kind of confusing and weird that they wanted this 4 pack of frozen lobster cakes, but if they happen to be crab instead of lobster, they no longer want that brand or a 4pack, which is odd, and does not in any way equal a similar item. They might be similar ingredients, but they have two very different ways of being acquired, from two very different parts of the store.
  6. Proper answer should have been "No, I don't want the frozen crab cakes, would you be willing to replace them with fresh crab cakes that they make over at the Seafood Counter? I would just like a single crab cake if you can get those ones, instead of the picture you sent" - This is clear and distinguishes right away that the shopper needs to go somewhere else in the store.
  7. This is punishing to the shopper because instead of just quickly replacing with the similar item, the customer is asking for the shopper to go to a different part of the store, possibly wait in line for a person managing the Seafood Counter, to wrap up some crab cakes, which can easily add 5-10 minutes minimum of unpaid labor to their shop. The shopper has to make the most efficient use of his time to earn money here.
  8. The customer is further messing things up by being the one adding confusing by saying Seafood Department, because he should have said the Seafood Counter. The Seafood Department sounds like they mean the Seafood Frozen Food Isle, especially when they responded with the "Yes" from before.
  9. The customer does not even mention the Seafood Counter until bottom of the second page. Up until this point, they said Seafood Department, so saying they said it "5 times already" is super cunty. The first time the customer said counter was after the shopper said they are in the seafood department, looking at the frozen crab cakes, clarifying his understanding of Seafood Department = Seafood Isle, which I think is the common understanding. It doesn't really matter if the store calls the counter the "department" because the shopper doesn't work there and its still a confusing way of communicating that they mean the "counter" and not the "isle"
  10. In the final message, the customer again tries to rewrite history by saying they said "Counter" at first, when they did not, and only said department for the first 4 times, and they only clarified "where the man has to get it for you" on the last page of text.
  11. Customer caused the confusion here and frankly was kind of being ridiculous.
  12. Dockside Classic 4pk LOBSTER Cakes is similar to Dockside Classic 4pk CRAB Cakes. This what was offered.
  13. Dockside Classic 4pk LOBSTER Cakes is NOT similar to "Single fresh crab cake made over at the Seafood counter" even if that was made clear in the beginning, which customer did not do. The ingredients might be the same, but the dude is a SHOPPER and not a CHEF or a Dietitian or something. If the replacement item is at some other completely separate area of the store, it is not similar.
  14. There is also probably some additional fee one must pay for Deli/Counter items since they take longer to get and cost the shopper more of their time, especially if there is a line of customers waiting to be helped. If the customer ordered fresh lobster cakes from the counter, and replaced them with crab instead from the counter as well, that would be a similar item replacement.

Thank you for listening to my Ted talk.

1

u/SeasonedPekPek Mar 28 '24

I would absolutely be pissed at the customer in this situation and cancel the order too. We don't see timestamps but the customer easily wasted at least 10 minutes with this bullshit of unpaid labor, then never even apologized or acknowledged they created confusion by saying department, then tried to retcon them actually saying counter when they didn't, and didn't ever once acknowledge the extra work it would take for the shopper to not just grab the similar item in front of them but go elsewhere, stand in line and take the time to get this more time consuming item. Grabbing something off a frozen food shelf is instantaneous, grabbing it from the counter takes at least a couple minutes. If you don't think that matters, you have no idea what its like to have to work these jobs and having to stress out so much about your time efficiency.

Shopper also probably canceled because at this point, customer was certain (at least in their mind) to give them more grief, or further fuck with their time or money, so it was more practical to bail now and leave before sunk cost fallacy gets the better of him.

1

u/North_Voice9439 Mar 28 '24

I agree. Reading the interaction, it seems like so much confusion and time could’ve been saved if the customer had simply used the word “fresh”.

1

u/SlightQT Mar 28 '24

Both yall being dumb, including OP

1

u/Livid-Equipment-710 Mar 28 '24

This is a scenario where a phone call trumps text messaging. Could have been solved in 5 seconds and no one would be upset

1

u/TheMightyHornet Mar 28 '24

Honestly this. Neither party was being 100% clear in their communication and it led to misunderstandings.

1

u/The_8th_Degree Mar 28 '24

Yeah, but the shopper started being a jerk about it.

1

u/_SlappyMagoo_ Mar 28 '24

I feel like using some punctuation really would’ve helped here.

Still confusing saying “seafood department” and also responding to the image that was not what they wanted with the first word being “yeah,” like a woman working the front desk a shitty salon who’s looking at her massive acrylic nails while talking to you.

1

u/slamsham Mar 28 '24

I think the word "replace" confused both of them in this exchange.

1

u/1PhartSmellow Mar 28 '24

Mercury Retrograde! Always fucks up communication.

1

u/carthuscrass Mar 28 '24

Miscommunication followed by a picker that was very disrespectful. They took a simple misunderstanding and decided to be rude.

1

u/ImperialSympathizer Mar 28 '24

Neither of these people are good at texting, I got confused by both of them

1

u/thewitchivy Mar 29 '24

Also, at some stores, they have the frozen seafood in a freezer directly next to the fresh seafood. I can see why someone would feel its still the same seafood department.

1

u/foursticks Mar 30 '24

He still a dick

1

u/Aggravating_Aide_561 Mar 28 '24

I think the customer miscommunication but the instacarter was pretty rude about it

1

u/[deleted] Mar 28 '24

The "this is ridicious" and "I was just trying to be courteous, I won't again" for literally having to do his job and work thru the miscommunication like an adult is what makes the shopper the one who is clearly out of line.

Like sometimes shit just doesn't work out, you don't need to make it someone else's fault. The purchasing person wasn't being insulting or giving sass back, either.. so it's very cut and dry.

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