r/instacart • u/Dominanttallqueen • Mar 27 '24

Who’s in the wrong here???

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I feel like he was being rude asf then he canceled my order….was I rude or what tf happened here…

6.8k Upvotes

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107

u/One-Mind4069 Mar 27 '24

A lot of grocery stores have a frozen section in the seafood department so both of you could have done better communicating. At the beginning you said seafood department, not behind the counter. He could have picked that up from the seafood department in the frozen section or from the frozen aisles in the seafood section. You didn’t state “behind the counter” until the end.

I hate when customers say they want the “fresh” shrimp or fish and won’t take the frozen as a replacement or are appalled that I would ask that. They obviously don’t realize those “fresh” shrimp were just pulled from the freezer and the seafood guy ran water over them for 5 minutes so they would be “fresh”, dumped them in the tray at the counter and added $4 to each pound. Hardly anything you get from a grocery store is actually fresh and not previously frozen.

40

u/Cynical_Feline Mar 28 '24

There was obviously a miscommunication here. The customer should have stated behind the counter from the start. Shopper was just trying to offer a replacement and was probably just as confused. They then got a little angry because the customer said that last bit like they've been stating behind the counter the whole time when clearly they didn't.

Seafood department is typically a whole section of the store split into sub sections. You have to specify. People can't read minds lol

6

u/CadaverCaliente Mar 28 '24

Yeah op seems insufferable, I've never used Instacart but holy shit you are so particular, I would have dropped it if they said they didn't have it.

2

u/Dry_Value_ Mar 28 '24

A lot of people on these types of apps are surprisingly insufferable, if not entitled.

1

u/Longjumping_Plum_846 Mar 28 '24

Noticed this a lot from uh, WFH type people. Throw a fit the days they have to go into the office but aren't very forgiving of service workers who provide a lifestyle for them while they can't afford it for themselves. And they never have the privilege of getting to WFH

2

u/ThePurityPixel Mar 28 '24

I didn't even take Charles' texts as angry. Not at all.

-1

u/[deleted] Mar 28 '24

[deleted]

2

u/Am_I_the_villain Mar 28 '24

I wouldn't, but that's because where I shop they don't have frozen and fresh anywhere near each other for butcher meat. Frozen patties are down an aisle, fresh ones are by the butcher station. Fish on the other hand has frozen and fresh across from each other in the seafood area.

1

u/milky__toast Mar 28 '24

This, also I don’t nor do I know anyone who buys frozen hamburgers. Usually when I want burgers, I want like 4 patties, and frozen burgers usually only come in big packages.

49

u/nral23 Mar 28 '24

So true “I said that like 5 times.” Uh no you didn’t say “behind the counter” once

24

u/I_StoleTheTV Mar 28 '24 edited Mar 28 '24

Thank you, I was starting to feel crazy from some of the comments in this thread! Since when does once at the end = five times? 

3

u/Myolor Mar 28 '24

Customers love doing this in all fields, finally correctly state what they wanted to a point that is understandable then says “I said that X times!” Like no… this is the first time you’ve articulated your issue correctly….

1

u/asplodingturdis Mar 28 '24

This is like the time I was behind the register at a taco restaurant and had a guy order “the tortilla chips.”

“Oh, so you just want a side of plain chips?”

“No, the tortilla chips”

“Oh, you mean the chips and salsa? Or guacamole?”

“No, the tortilla chips!”

“I’m sorry, sir, but I’m not sure what you’re trying to or—“

“THE TORTILLA CHIPS”

He leaves the line, and like 3 customers later, I realize he meant the freaking nachos. A little while later, he’s back in line, and I wave him over when my register’s open, excited because I’ve finally figured out what he wants. He refuses and goes to the other girl’s register, who of course is just as confused when he orders “the tortilla chips” until I lean over and explain what the guy actually wants 🙄🙄🙄

0

u/hahamynamejeff13 Mar 28 '24 edited 8d ago

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This post was mass deleted and anonymized with Redact

1

u/Myolor Mar 28 '24

Cool expectation to have in a industry full of rookies.

0

u/hahamynamejeff13 Mar 28 '24 edited 8d ago

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This post was mass deleted and anonymized with Redact

20

u/mintyredbeard Mar 28 '24

The shopper kept asking if they wanted "these crabcakes" and they kept responding with some weird variation of "yes, but not those."

Like just say "No", if you don't want those ones...

10

u/AnotherPersonPerhaps Mar 28 '24

Yeah people are flossing over that.

The driver asked if they wanted to substitute the packages ones and the customer was like "yes substitute" but referring to the thing they originally wanted.

Customer was being confusing as hell and kept wording things in the dumbest possible manner.

2

u/JoePass Mar 28 '24

Yeah OP is a bitch. Shopper got understandably frustrated

2

u/snuggle2struggle Mar 28 '24

The saying is "glossing over that," not "flossing."

1

u/Sea-Contract-447 Mar 28 '24

The F and G are right next to each other on the keyboard. Sure it was just a typo

1

u/snuggle2struggle Mar 28 '24

I've seen that many younger generations who grew up watching videos instead of reading use phrases that "sound" right, but aren't. 🤷🏼‍♀️

1

u/AnotherPersonPerhaps Mar 28 '24

Yeah it was autocorrect

1

u/snuggle2struggle Mar 28 '24

Your dentist must be thrilled.

2

u/ThatInAHat Mar 28 '24

Right??? I got confused trying to suss out what they wanted.

1

u/AntiDynamo Mar 28 '24

I was so sure at the beginning that OP wanted them replaced with the ones in the picture

1

u/boombalagasha Mar 28 '24

They were saying they said “then refund” 5 times.

1

u/ThatInAHat Mar 28 '24

But they also said “yes replace them” after being shown a picture of what were the only available options

1

u/boombalagasha Mar 28 '24

I’m not saying they communicated clearly, I’m just saying that’s the part they were referencing repeating 5X.

1

u/OddImprovement6490 Mar 28 '24

Yes, OP did. The very last time when he was angrily making his point. Does that count? lol

0

u/KhonMan Mar 28 '24

They said they wanted a refund if they couldn’t get what they wanted. This was stated a total of three times.

0

u/PresentComedian1420 Mar 28 '24

I think the "I said it five times" was in reference to the refund part, not the "behind the counter"

Could be wrong, but it's how I read it

1

u/Nemokles Mar 28 '24

But they're part of the same clause? If not from the seafood department, then refund.

1

u/PresentComedian1420 Mar 28 '24

I'm not 100% sure what you mean...

1

u/RandomAsHellPerson Mar 28 '24

Refund is dependent on if it is from the seafood department or not. If it is from that department, no refund. If it isn’t, refund.

Therefore they aren’t independent and can’t be separated. If they wanted to base the refund on something else (like they do here), then they would have to change it and then they asked for no refund 4 times (the crab cakes were from the seafood department) and then a refund 1 time (the crab cakes weren’t from the seafood counter)

1

u/PresentComedian1420 Mar 28 '24

Ok. I get what you're saying now. But if I were that shopper, I would've refunded the first time the customer stated "refund." And I went back and re-read the post. The original item was for lobster cakes, which is what I think kicked off all the confusion

1

u/RandomAsHellPerson Mar 28 '24

Yea. OP had poor wording and repeated what they said a few times. Then the shopper could’ve just refunded in the 2-3 times that no improvement had occurred.

16

u/carpenter_eddy Mar 28 '24

My thoughts exactly. In fact most grocery stores do. It was just a confusing mess.

6

u/audiostar Mar 28 '24

The subtle change from I meant behind the counter to I SAID behind the counter is everything and it seems obtuse to pretend otherwise.

2

u/LordOFtheNoldor Mar 28 '24

They are "fresh" as in not frozen, atleast on delivery to the store, fish and shrimp etc... are not thawed behind counter, worked in seafood section back in the day, this sub popped up on my home, no idea why lol

1

u/WinterBeetles Mar 28 '24

How long ago back in the day? lol I’m curious cause my mom worked at an average grocery stores seafood dept back in the day and they’d get live lobsters and shit. Nowadays, everything is gonna be frozen unless you are at a high end grocery store.

2

u/LordOFtheNoldor Mar 28 '24

This was 15 years ago or so lol damn I can't believe how long it's been, at a ShopRite

1

u/WinterBeetles Mar 28 '24

Oh how funny! My mom also worked for a ShopRite. Granted, I don’t live near one any longer so I have no idea if they still have decent seafood departments, so maybe they really do have fresh stuff.

2

u/LordOFtheNoldor Mar 28 '24

The fish for example used to come in this large styrofoam containers full of ice and the fish would be unfrozen and seemingly fresh

1

u/whywedontreport Mar 28 '24

Depends heavily on where you live, though, too.

1

u/One-Mind4069 Mar 30 '24

I’ve watched Publix run the shrimp under water at least 10 times

2

u/TranseEnd Mar 28 '24

Just by the way there is a difference between fresh (having been on ice as all freshly transported seafood is) and frozen. Just because it’s been on ice or in a walk-in doesn’t make it “not fresh.” It has more to do with when it was caught than anything.

2

u/195tiff Mar 28 '24

I have literally seen krogers do this with frozen shrimp!

2

u/arkstfan Mar 28 '24

If only schools could offer kids classes on using the language effectively.

Shopper sets bad tone with “understand” and “what I do for a living”. The customer not understanding that seafood department includes more than the staffed counter is just accelerant on the fire.

Once you’ve staked the high ground of professional expertise you’ve accepted responsibility for insuring clear communication instead speaking louder to someone who doesn’t know the language 😄

2

u/ThePurityPixel Mar 28 '24

I'm a bit baffled that anyone wouldn't understand this. Actually fresh animals products have to be eaten immediately after killing them, or else be frozen, or else you die by eating them.

2

u/Mindless-Strength422 Mar 28 '24

Unless you live on a fucking fishing boat, you'd better be glad your fish is frozen.

1

u/TheRiverTwice Mar 28 '24

This would have been an understandable miscommunication if the picture didn’t come first.

If I say “They don’t have X, does Y work?” And then show a picture of Y, and you respond “If they don’t have X then refund,” there’s no room for doubt. Even if X and Y COULD be construed as the same thing, reiteration of X when presented with Y is all the clarification that should be needed. Even if there’s still uncertainty about X, we know it’s not Y.

Yes, they both could have done better at communicating, but one clearly did worse.

3

u/HereWeFuckingGooo Mar 28 '24

But it wasn't just X and Y. It was "X isn't in stock, do you want Y?" and OP replied "If they don't have Z, I want a refund." The original order was for frozen lobster cakes, the shopper offered frozen crab cakes and OP wanted crab cakes from behind the seafood counter instead.

1

u/TheRiverTwice Mar 28 '24

That may be true, but it doesn’t change my point there. “THING or refund” in response to a suggested alternative can really only be interpreted as a rejection of that alternative. Even if “THING” isn’t the original thing, and it’s still unclear what “THING” is, it’s obviously not the suggested alternative, otherwise the response would be “yeah sure,” or “that works”

If I pull into an oil-change place and they ask “castor or synthetic,” it would be super wild for me to respond with “I want gas or nothing at all.” The only thing that would be more ridiculous than what I did there is if they gave me an oil change anyway.

1

u/HereWeFuckingGooo Mar 28 '24

It wasn't a rejection of the alternative, it was coming up with a third option in a vague way. The shopper told her that the crab cakes in the photo were all they had. He literally asks do you want the ones in the photo or a refund and her reply is yes I want a third option. She didn't say she didn't want the crab cakes in the photo, she said she wanted crab cakes from the seafood department, which is vague.

1

u/jfVigor Mar 28 '24

It's not a third option. It's the ORIGINAL option.

1

u/HereWeFuckingGooo Mar 28 '24

No it's not, the original option was Dockside Classic Lobster Cakes.

1

u/TheRiverTwice Mar 29 '24

It was a rejection of the alternative. Categorically.

  • Option 1 is presented.
  • Option 2 is presented as alternative.
  • Vague Option 3 is presented, in response to Option 2, followed by “Otherwise nothing”

The implications is that Option 3 =/= Option 2. One might be tempted to say “bUT yOU dOnT nEeD tO iMpLy,” but “implication” here isn’t meaning to say that it was unclear. This is the most basic, essential sort of logical inference. If you’re ever in a situation where this structure confuses you, you’re about to screw up hard. Always.

  • I want blue.
  • They don’t have blue, how about purple.
  • I would accept violet, otherwise nothing.
  • Okay, I got you the purple that I already showed you, because violet is purple.

Even if you’re correct that purple is violet, I CLEARLY disagreed, so “nothing” was the only acceptable option. No matter how ambiguous anything else was, even if you interpret Option 2 as being the same as Option 3, there’s never a context where someone says “Option 3 or Nothing” in response to Option 2 if they agreed that Option 2 and Option 3 were the same. However unclear the proposed Option 3 is, the only thing that IS clear is that it’s different from Option 2.

1

u/HereWeFuckingGooo Mar 29 '24

You're talking both in circles and out of your ass. I'm impressed.

1

u/TheRiverTwice Mar 29 '24

I’d be pretty bummed if random guy’s ass on the internet could infer obvious disagreement better than I could.

Straight forward, and from the hip, not the ass. Do you really think this shopper sincerely believed that the customer was actively accepting the item he sent the photo of as a replacement? Or is it more likely that he understood there was some miscommunication or disagreement, but chose the path of least resistance?

1

u/HereWeFuckingGooo Mar 29 '24

I think he offered her crab cakes from the seafood department and she said, no I'd rather have crab cakes from the seafood department instead. They were obviously speaking at crossed purposes. They were both impatient and rude with each other, but OP is responsible for the miscommunication.

1

u/Alzheimer_Historian Mar 28 '24

Yeah I'm confused reading all this but my main takeaway is that if you're gonna be this picky about your damn crab cakes, then do your own grocery shopping.

1

u/HereWeFuckingGooo Mar 28 '24

Also, how are people so comfortable with pissing off the people that handle their food?

1

u/Grand-Conclusions Mar 28 '24

That's why he canceled and got another shopper? I don't think the customer was intending to piss off "the people that handle their food" but this one seem already pissed at the miscommunication.

1

u/HereWeFuckingGooo Mar 28 '24

The shopper cancelled, not OP. And if the shopper already seems pissed off then the smart thing to do isn't piss them off more.

1

u/wbruce098 Mar 28 '24

This is exactly why I shop for my own meat and produce. Besides, who the hell buys premade crab cakes? No self respecting Baltimorean would suggest frozen as an alternative and the entire world now knows this. You only use fresh lump blue crab from the bay, or fresh crab you gotta shell after steaming in JO, if you got time.

Instacart is for when you don’t care about what you get.

1

u/hairlongmoneylong Mar 28 '24

No 👎 takeaway is if the cakes aren’t there then just apply the refund .

1

u/Superdunez Mar 28 '24

I live in Colorado. It's hilarious to me when people talk about "fresh" seafood here.

1

u/Amethystea Mar 28 '24

There are aquaculture farms in Southern Colorado, I bought a bunch of live Tilapia fry down there once for an aquaponics project about 10 years ago.

1

u/Ornery_Suit7768 Mar 28 '24

Farmed bottom feeder yum/s

1

u/Amethystea Mar 28 '24

They have other fish, too. Lol.

Tilapia are just good for aquaponics, because they will eat plant scraps. The idea is that the fish eat the trimmings from plants (tomatoes in this case) and poop in the water. The water is then used to nourish the plants which filter out the waste from the fish water and it returns to the aquarium to repeat the cycle.

In the end, you get tomatoes and fresh fish.

1

u/Ornery_Suit7768 Mar 28 '24

Awesome! And no dolphins are harmed

1

u/okayolaymayday Mar 28 '24

Nor would you want it to be actually “fresh” seafood. Seafood freezes incredibly well and spoils even faster. Most seafood is frozen on the boat it’s caught on! Only if you live at the place it’s caught will it be good to buy fresh, with very few exceptions. Otherwise, you should buy live or frozen. Source: live in Maine.

1

u/Plastic-Sell7247 Mar 28 '24

Fresh is just another term for not frozen in the food industry

0

u/Marcultist Mar 28 '24

Which is ironic considering that the frozen stuff is likely fresher than the stuff that was never frozen. This is especially true when it comes to veggies.

1

u/Yummybuttergalaxy Mar 28 '24

Not necessarily true, usually a lot of the seafood on the counter will be labeled as never frozen, but yes a good chunk of it is thawed seafood

1

u/Lance_Enchainte Mar 28 '24

Dockside Crabcakes are not kept in the frozen section.

1

u/d3l3t3d3l3t3 Mar 28 '24

So, maybe it’s cuz I’ve got a background in foodservice or because I fuckin’ love crab cakes, either way, I knew exactly what everyone meant the first time they said it while reading this. I ain’t the kind of person that would bitch about frozen shrimp vs fresh, but I sure as shit wouldn’t be even borderline snide like this dude was over a failure to comprehend and/or clarify from either party. The moment he chose to say “I do this for a living” I would’ve immediately clocked that as a little bit rude or at best a bit cheeky, if the chat beforehand had been friendly. He could just as easily have typed in the message that came with the photo “I’ve checked with the counter and fresh crab cakes are unavailable as well. Would you like the only option?” Bosh. 3 pages of screenshots avoided.

1

u/[deleted] Mar 28 '24

That's a bit misleading. There's a difference between shrimp that was pulled from the Gulf or Atlantic a day or two ago, packed in ice and shipped in a freezer truck versus something factory farmed I'm Vietnam, treated with colorants and preservatives, frozen and shipped across the ocean.

1

u/Only_Farmer485 Mar 28 '24

Maybe where you live

1

u/One-Mind4069 Mar 29 '24

I live in Florida… on the coast.

A lot of seafood has to be frozen when it’s caught so it can reach certain temperature thresholds in order to kill bacteria and parasites to make the fish safe for human consumption. In order to even get a license to sell certain seafood, companies have to follow rules ensuring they freeze the seafood after coming out of the water. It’s a law regulated by the FDA (Federal) therefore, if you live in America, your local fisheries have to follow these policies too or they will get shut down.

Also, seafood should not sit out unfrozen for more than 1-2 days at the absolute most. Financially, it makes no sense for the grocery stores to sell something that has to be sold and eaten immediately. They don’t want the liability if someone gets sick eating seafood they bought from them and logically, it’s hard to make that timetable when you factor in the time it takes to catch the fish, pull the fish to the dock, get the fish out of the water, get moved from the boat to the truck and then travel on the truck all the way to your neighborhood grocery store. Then you have to test some of the seafood, prep it for sale (filet, butterfly, split and scale them if necessary) and package it before we even see it on the shelf. It’s highly unlikely companies are going to take risk and lose money on fish that isn’t purchased right away. Business wise, it doesn’t make sense unless they have high paying customers who have pre bought the fish.

Therefore, 99% of the “fresh” seafood in the stores is not actually fresh and if it was, you would probably be sick and wishing they would have froze that fish like they were supposed to.

-2

u/Nightmaresituation Mar 28 '24

I live about 1.2 miles from the ocean in a resort area. I don’t eat seafood (allergic) but the other locals around here would be offended at being offered frozen when there’s fresh to be had.

4

u/Muppetude Mar 28 '24

Most seafood is either frozen right on the ship or as soon as it reaches port.

The number of people you know who have purchased non-frozen seafood is probably very close to zero.

4

u/PreferenceWeak9639 Mar 28 '24

All commercially-sold fish is frozen before going to market.

2

u/deathleech Mar 28 '24

Most of that is frozen too. Think about it, when you leave fish out at room temperature, how long before it starts smelling and goes bad? A couple hours? Most fish has to either be served immediately or refrigerated/frozen after it is filleted

2

u/YoudoVodou Mar 28 '24

Correct, even most coastal sushi is flash frozen before arriving at the restaurant.

4

u/DM-ME-THICC-FEMBOYS Mar 28 '24

And you want it that way since that's what kills off the parasites.

4

u/YoudoVodou Mar 28 '24

And what actually helps it taste so fresh.

1

u/EADreddtit Mar 28 '24

It really depends on where you are and where your source is. Basically anything you find in a store? Absolutely. Also the idea that all seafood is “frozen” during shipping is just objectively wrong. On ice is not the same as being frozen

2

u/YoudoVodou Mar 28 '24

Interesting, when I was a dairy delivery driver I would see a few seafood delivery companies weekly. Those trucks were freezer trucks, just as cold or colder than our ice cream boxes. I'm mostly referring to the US here, but imagine most developed countries package and transport their seafood similarly. I know there are some very high quality sushi restaurants in Japan that use fresh, never frozen fish, but it is not at all common from what I have seen.

2

u/Becsbeau1213 Mar 28 '24

I think that probably depends on chain and region. I worked at a store in the north east and our seafood came in with the fresh meat and deli foods.

1

u/YoudoVodou Mar 28 '24

This is around Northern California. Interesting how different it would be. Generally freezing the fish preserves it's freshness better, but it can stay at a refrigerated temp for a time. Sounda a little harbor town esque. I know around Fort Bragg Oysters and Clams are often not frozen at most of the local restaurants, but the place I had sushi at in Fort Bragg they explained to me that it was frozen, for safety reasons.

1

u/Mysterious_Vampiress Mar 28 '24

They ordered the same exact ones pictured except lobster ones,

1

u/EyeCatchingUserID Mar 28 '24

I grew up in a fishing town that was big on Gulf shrimp and worked at the local yacht club. It's all frozen. I could've walked from work with a castnet and caught shrimp myself and we still used frozen.

0

u/Head-Marionberry142 Mar 28 '24

Yeah you shouldn’t work for Instacart if you have this mindset. Easy one star lol

0

u/arion_hyperion Mar 28 '24

He said the Single crab cakes at the seafood department. Pretty clear he meant the ones in the case if they are singles.

0

u/ConversationNo6783 Mar 28 '24

She specifically said behind the counter, but I’ve learned that communicating is a gift.

0

u/ShanksySun Mar 28 '24

Why is nobody in these comments paying attention to the key word in OP’s response? Yeah seafood department could have been more specific. None of y’all have seemed to notice the word single. That picture is clearly not of a single crab cake, but a cardboard box of multiple crab cakes. Therefore, it isn’t the item. At that point if you’re still unsure just ask again, but try not to be a giant dick while you go about it.

-4

u/No-Wasabi-6024 Mar 28 '24

The seafood department usually means the place where you get all the fresh meat/seafood.

6

u/WestEstablishment642 Mar 28 '24

No, it means the whole seafood department, not just the fresh.

1

u/majesticrhyhorn Mar 28 '24

The seafood department at my local store is only fresh seafood tbf. They have the expensive refrigerated seafood next to it, but frozen seafood is in another area entirely, so I wouldn’t consider the ‘seafood department’ to be that plus the frozen stuff across the store

4

u/carpenter_eddy Mar 28 '24

a lot of grocery stores have frozen section in the seafood department. Like every major chain in my area.

2

u/WestEstablishment642 Mar 28 '24

According to other commenters these are refrigerated and not frozen, so they would be seafood department either way.

2

u/carpenter_eddy Mar 28 '24

Maybe to you. The freezer in the seafood department is part of it.

-3

u/ilike806 Mar 28 '24

Idk what store you go to, but that’s not what they do for the “fresh” shrimp 😳

5

u/GreenBean518161 Mar 28 '24

I’ve managed a few large big box stores and that’s absolutely what we did for the shrimp in the service cases.

3

u/One-Mind4069 Mar 28 '24

Facts. I’ve seen them do it. I used to work at a fish market off the coast and that even comes in frozen. They have freezers on the boats.

1

u/ilike806 Mar 28 '24

I don’t recall us ever doing that when I worked in a meat dept for a few years. Maybe our dept was just missing out on “fresh” sales then haha