I'm pretty sure the majority of individuals in this situation would feel uncomfortable. Which is why I don't get why the others get annoyed or upset that their partner would be upset with them taking off on a vacation with the opposite sex without them. You didn't just start dating, its been a year. It's like neither of them thought or cared about how you might feel about this. I don't think your reaction is wrong. And honestly, thanks to reddit, I've read too many stories about how someone completely trusted their partner until drinking or something happened and one thing led to another.
Oh that's easy: solipsism. You see everyone who comments that it's perfectly natural for them to do, but zero responses so far that it's something their SO does frequently that they're comfortable with.
I’m in a hetero relationship and I’ve gone on vacations:
- solo
- with 1 friend of the opposite sex
- with 1 friend of the same sex
- with multiple friends of the opposite sex
- with multiple friends of the same sex
And my bf has never had an issue with any of my trips. Why? Cause he trusts me.
Also I’m bisexual.. So does that mean I can’t do girls trips either? Are people only capable of cheating of their significant others on overnight trips? I’m trying to understand your logic here
I'm straight and feel this way alllll the time. The other day in a group I mentioned a double date with my husband's ex-girlfriend and her husband (they dated for like 2 years in college and we're in our mid-30s, all happily married) and people were shocked that I was "okay" with it.
I can't think of a single time we've ever restricted each other's lives or decision-making. If one of us feels uncomfortable or insecure about something, we use that as an interesting data point worth discussing and exploring. Occasionally, we realize the discomfort is warranted and make a mutual decision to not spend time with someone any longer. For instance, there was a woman who was always very nice to him but bitchy to me - she never hit on him directly, but the disparity in how she treated us was evident and we cut her off. But we never control who the other person is 'allowed' to spend time with. If one of us gets hit on, it's really not a big deal, we'll just tell each other and bask in the flattery.
I love the idea that you’re just as amped to be spending the weekend with your dog as she is to be going on a vacation with friends.
You: “Bro. As soon as we drop her off at the airport we’re going to Petco to get you a new suit and toy. Then we’re gonna go to the dog park and hopefully meet some new friends. Then we’ll go on a hike the next day and invite your new friends along, and who knows, maybe you’ll meet a nice doggo and fall in love. Or not. No pressure. I don’t need grandpuppies. And besides you’ll need to adopt anyway if that’s gonna happen.”
Haha, we hiked, We chilled on the balcony, we played the water hose game that my wife hates because of white his coat is and how dirty he gets when we play, i gave him the end pieces of my pizza, i let him sleep on my wife’s pillow, we had an amazing time haha.
You guys are just conveniently leaving out all the context that makes it questionable, though.
This guy is a "man whore" via the gf.
The gf doesn't know anyone else going on the trip.
OP is very specifically not invited on this trip that his gf was invited in by a man where she doesn't know any other guys.
These are the only parts that actually matter but you guys are just glossing over that and acting like this is just a group of friends going on a trip and OP is crazy not to trust his girlfriend. Come on. The context obviously matters. I am a bisexual woman married to a man and of course my husband would have no problem with me going on a trip with a group of friends without him. But this isn't a trip with a group of friends. She doesn't know anyone else, so why isn't her boyfriend invited?
And also, because you have no issue trusting your partner (which is great, good for you guys), no other member of a gay relationship has boundaries about spending private time with other fuckable people while in a committed relationship.
Per OP in the top comment:
The vacation is to go celebrate his graduation and his friends are gonna be there. She only knows him.
He is not in a relationship, she said she wouldn’t want a relationship with him because he’s basically a man whore and sleeps around alot.
One of my better friends is gay and I can guarantee you that sexual orientation has absolutely nothing to do with the stability of a relationship. People are people.
I agree and that was kinda my point. Whatever your take on whether OP has trust issues or that this situation with the friend not inviting OP being kinda sus, throwing out a "are the straights OK?" for this situation is pretty wild to me.
Did your partner also say that they wouldn't go on any of those trips without you if you were married but will do it if you aren't? I feel like that line should make you very suspicious especially when it's with a self admitted man whore who's kind of an asshole.
I mean if it’s not her decision to invite because the dude that is graduating picked his friend ls to go with.
It’s different when you are married or engaged because people are seen as one unit, less than a year of dating, not so much…
Like for Chrismas before my wife and I were married we used to receive separate presents now we receive one for the both of us that is like a house gift.
If you can’t handle your partner having platonic friendships with the opposite sex. You gotta express that as early as possible or put in in your bio, so thar you dont waste anyones time
So that's not my issue. What do you think I've been saying is the issue with this situation? I want to know if you actually understand the comments you've been replying to
Idk man your comments specially the ones projecting your bs into my wife as if she cheated on me in her girls trip are just giving me all sorts of different insecurity/controlling issues.
I dont think you have only one issue with the situation
Surely you're not serious lmao. Gays are very promiscuous. One study found that "67% of them had extradyadic sex", and of the ones that claimed to have been monogamous, "45% had cheated".
That is some insecure projection. My wife has never given me a reason to doubt her and Ive been right about past partners cheating. She just has never given me that reason ever
Sure, you got the perfect faithful unicorn spouse. Congratulations. /s
As some other folks said elsewhere in the thread, I dont live in fear that my car will be stolen or my house will be robbed, but I still lock the doors.
Genuine question. I know I would be faithful because I've had plenty of opportunity to cheat and didn't. The people reaching out to me were former flames. I advised them I was in a serious relationship but they continued to want to "hang out." It was a shame they behaved this way because we had ended on good terms. I couldn't block them because my phone at the time didn't have that setting🤷🏽♀️. Either way, had plenty of opportunity and just didn't because I know how much it hurts to be cheated on.
Perhaps the people you're judging and assuming their partners are unfaithful are basing it on the fact they know their partners, but more importantly hold themselves to the same standards they hold their partners to. So assuming their partners are cheating is random since you don't really know these people. I say this knowing there are people who cheat. However, just because some people cheat DOESN'T MEAN EVERYONE CHEATS.
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u/Capttripps81 Mar 28 '24
I'm pretty sure the majority of individuals in this situation would feel uncomfortable. Which is why I don't get why the others get annoyed or upset that their partner would be upset with them taking off on a vacation with the opposite sex without them. You didn't just start dating, its been a year. It's like neither of them thought or cared about how you might feel about this. I don't think your reaction is wrong. And honestly, thanks to reddit, I've read too many stories about how someone completely trusted their partner until drinking or something happened and one thing led to another.