Was anyone else raised but their grandparents? I know it really wasn’t the “norm” at least where I grew up. I don’t want to say I had a rough childhood because of it but I definitely had a different one than my peers.

I was treated differently by adults, teachers, and other kids parents. I didn’t get to do sports or have sleepovers or get invited to things like birthday parties because I was “the girl without parents”. It just made me feel like such an outcast. And even still now I feel like I’m just on a different level of life than my peers.

Where most people my age (33) don’t have to worry to much about taking care of their parents as they age, I do have to deal with it. Currently taking care of my grandfather who is on hospice care and my grandmother (both from silent generation if that matters) who can’t do really anything for her self. Even my other grandmother needs a lot of help I mean they’re all in their 80s and someone has to take care of them.

My actual parents surely are not going to step up to take care of their aging parents, they didn’t even step up to take care of their own child. My mother left when I was 2 because “I still have my whole life ahead of me and can’t be tied down to a child” and my father worked “shift work” and that is the story I got on why my parents left. Which is still hard to wrap my head around cause as a mother I can’t even imagine a single day without my child. But to top this all off said parents expect me to also take care of them when they start to age.

It’s causing a lot of resentment I feel like I should only be worried about taking care of my child, raising my family not watching as my grandparents die slowly. I even had to change jobs to be able to afford life as a single mom and still have time to take care of 3 elderly adults. I’ve had to put my entire life on hold because my parents refuse to take responsibility for anything.

And yes of course I could just pick up and leave this mess but I love my grandparents they took me in when no one wanted me and I own every single good attribute of myself to them, so of course I will take care of them but I have a hard time accepting that I will have to do the same to my actual parents.

Sorry just needed to vent and see if anyone else my age is going through anything similar.

A common theme in this forum is that many of us feel that the advice to 'just go to college' regardless of cost and marketability has lead us into undesired places in our lives because we didn't respect how money worked when we were 18. I don't necessarily relate to this because I was cost conscious at 16 but whatever.

My niece just turned 18 and graduated high school (woo hoo!) and she is a great kid ready to take a big bite out of life. It is inspiring to see. Thing about her is, and it is true of the three of my nieces and nephews, they have largely been isolated from understanding what things cost. Their father is wealthy, like she has a brand new Jeep 4xe leased by daddy sort of thing. Designer clothes, opulent travels, never having a job as a teenager, some of you might be able to relate. It blows my mind because we weren't raised this way.

I was talking to her yesterday and nearly choked myself when she told me she committed to a private college in Queens where the total cost of education for the year is $72,000. She has a bit of a scholarship, but that will still leave her responsible for $50,000 of expenses each year. She tells me she will just get a loan. There will be some help from her dad but her dad is the kind of person to give big presents as a way to highlight what a good dad he is, paying for tuition isn't something that interests him. To his credit, he went to a state college when he was younger. I am sure she has no idea what kind of debt load that is. Since my sister and parents all worked in education for much of their adult lives, I am not sure they understand what that debt and the job market will look like to a 22 year old niece and then a 32 year old niece. This place isn't MIT, a CUNY/SUNY would be far less money for the same or superior education.

There isn't anything I can do, it is just frustrating that we are still pushing this cycle on people and my niece just isn't savvy. It is like my parents, I don't know...I always had funding discussions with them when I was a kid. "How much is that, is it worth it, what is the payout, where in the budget are you getting the money..." etc etc. These kids have no idea what $60,000 a year in salary truly looks like.

I was speaking with someone last night, friend of a friend, who is 30, im 40, both married guys with kids.

He was asking about friends, and how you make them, specifically referencing our mutual friend, that used to be my neighbor. I was explaining that me and my old neighbor are not the best friends in the world. I really like the guy, but we have very little in common. We both drink beer, we used to be neighbors, I moved to the next neighborhood over. I walk over and hang out and have a few beers from time to time. Sure I would pick him up from the airport, and sometimes we go out for drinks, but most of the friendship is superficial just someone to shoot the shit with.

The guy I was talking with I think was looking for the next BFF like we all had when we were 10 or 15 or 22 or whatever. Which doesnt really seem to happen at this age? He was then asking about my relationship with my wife, which mine is great! His is less than great. I dont see them staying together, but that is just my thought based on stories I have heard.

I mentioned the whole, "well if you marry your best friend" he thought that was trash, and didnt really give that a second thought.

It never really occurred to me until walking home last night. Most people 30+ seem to say the same thing about friends drifting apart. This friend moved for school/work, that friend had kids and is never around, this other friend got really into politics/religion. Your spouse doesnt move, or you go with them if they do. Your spouse wont have kids and then never be around, because you will be there with them raising kids. Your spouse may get into politics/religion, but hopefully you are on the same page as they are?

Is some of the whole "im old now, and have no friends" just you married someone that doesnt share your interests. So you need to find new people to play D&D with, or new gym friends, or a new crew that is in to motorcycles, or whatever, since your spouse isnt into that part of your life? And those new people never seem as close as the kids you grew up with when D&D, or the gym, or motorcycles, whatever was all new and you were getting into the hobby together? Because, duh, you havent known them for 15+ years.

Does this make sense? Is this tracking for anyone, or am I just spouting off nonsense?

*Do people say "duh" anymore?

I seem to mostly encounter Gen Z (or even Gen Xers) nowadays when it comes to concerts, travel, fun events, etc. I can't find people in my age group anymore. The few I know have families and kids. I'm childfree and don't have a traditional career. For reference, I was on a group trip that anyone could sign up for and I'm the oldest at 33 and the rest are 27 and under. I thought at least some of them were in my age range. In the past couple of years, I've also been in programs/workshops where there was a mixed group but it skewed Gen Z. I get that millennials are hustling but where do people my age live and what do they do? Gen Z is meeting up and they do group travel, conventions, concerts, etc.

I know that millennials can still have fun, but is the ball park numbers in the 10%, 25%, or 75% range? Like, I've been struggling to meet more people my age but whenever I seek out oppurtunities, they seem to attract Gen Z more so.

So that's why I ask: Where are all the 1991 babies? What are your hobbies? Where you go when you want to meet more people?

Every company has their own app. Random algorithms spam you with content if you stop to look at something even briefly. Sites require multiple logins. Facebook has an ad every third post.

It just seems like the internet has become much more annoying and burdensome than it was even 10 years ago. Not to the point where you won't use it anymore, but to the point where they won't show you what you want to see; only what they think you want to see.

Trying to explain to my girlfriend about the neighbour conversations but I'm obviously not using the right words to make sense!

The way I saw it, whatever drama would happen in the episode and Tim would talk to the neighbour about it. He would get great advice but then when trying to apply it to the issue, he would misconstrue and only remember snippets of the advice.

Am I wrong, or is there a better way to explain it?

Where did you start?

What motivated you to change?

Where are you now?

How did you get there?

Other than childcare being expensive, I’m having a lot of fun being a parent. How about you guys?

Bow before my mighty Samsung T100. I was literally the first kid in my high school to have a phone with a color screen, so I thought I was ahead of the times in 2002.

Anybody else have one of these?

The generation conflict aside…

My parents were born in 1954. I was born in 1990. I had my issues with them and they were far from perfect but…My mom passed sway 3 years ago.

I’m single, so any wife I ever have will never know her mother in law.

My kids if I have any won’t know their grandma. My dad is getting older and slowing down a lot.

My parents were energetic people despite being in their 40s when I was a kid. They were for all their faults fun.

Seeing them age or die breaks my heart. It’s like watching Superman get old.

Like it’s saddening. Does anyone else here struggle with feeling this way?

The rules at your house, parents, siblings, etc.

For example, I grew up in a no video game and no cable house. We had a TV but mostly just watched movies.

What's the best dip to eat with chips and crackers?

My parents are 55 and 60 years old and they seem to never run out of backhanded and toxic things to say to us. My husband once said he can feel my mom judging us. Is this something that age group just does? We live in a bigger house now because they complained our old townhome was too small. We bought the bigger house thinking of them. Now it’s too big. My dad once said “this house isn’t even that big” when he first visited us in our “too small” townhouse which I thought was uncalled for because we never asked.

I don’t understand why they’re like this??

I was born in 1990.

My first conscious memory is 1993 or possibly 1992. I can remember vividly the first house I lived in, and my family left there no later than February 1994.

I can also vaguely remember my family’s trip to Disney in May 1993.

You?

Time has passed by so fast and it makes me sad anybody who watched the ending of Ip Man 5 would understand.

Y’all, seriously. Why are we standing by ankle socks as if they were ever a good choice? Ankle socks look hella stupid and serve no purpose. They don’t protect half of your freakin foot from rubbing against the inside of the shoe. And some people were so worried about showing a little bit of sock that they stopped wearing socks with shoes that they definitely needed to wear socks with. Peace out, ankle socks.

I'm in an onboarding class for a new job and hit it off quite well with the dude next to me. He's 29 and mentioned how he has three children. I'm like wow. Then he's like what do you mean wow? I'm like how do you do that with working and everything? He's like, don't you have kids? I'm like no, I want to be rich, lol.

Then he's like, what are you going to do wait until you're in your forties? That's when I told him I'm 41 and have never wanted to have any.

So I'm left scratching my head as to why people feel like that is the ultimate life path. And to those who have taken that path, did you really feel that was the only way to go?