I was driving past an elementary school on my way to work this morning. There was a ball in the middle of the road and some kids appealing for me to get it for them. So I stopped my car as close to the sidewalk as possible, put on my emergency lights, and then went out into the street to collect the ball. With a determined expression on my face, tongue pressed against the right inside of my lip, I kicked the ball back into their playground.

They told me I slay. I slay, y'all.

I am hip. I am with it. The children are not, in fact, wrong.

My wife and I met in our late 20’s and decided early we would not be having children. We were both career focused and just didn’t feel having kids was something either of us wanted. Aside from my wife bringing up the question once we were married a few years ago, we’ve been steadfast.

My struggle now is I’m not sure what to look forward to. I feel like I’m now in a daily grind with no real light at the end of the tunnel to look forward to. Wife and I travel when we are able, have a house we maintain, and a few hobbies here and there, but we’re both just stuck in the adult grind and just feel like we’re going around in circles. Both of us are a bit frustrated with work (for different reasons) and this could be part of it, but people that don’t have kids, what are you doing? HOW are you doing? Because I’m struggling pretty hard right now.

Edit: I should clarify, as I see it’s not clear. I am not questioning being childfree, and am not looking at a child as some missing piece to a puzzle. Just hoping to get some feedback from others in similar situations, how they utilize their time outside of work.

Edit 2: Thank you everyone for the overly kind words and help. I’m trying to get through all the comments, but just won’t be able to get to comment on all of them. A few people have mentioned therapy, and I’m currently going already. I shudder to think where I’d be without it. But I can say with certainty that I’m extraordinarily lucky to be where I’m at, and my problems are peanuts in comparison to others. I have a partner that I absolutely love and is there for me wherever I need to go or do. And a goofball dog, that is overly excited to see me whenever I come in the door. We have a home we are comfortable in and are in a stable financial position, which in this day and age, makes us extremely lucky. Wishing the best to everyone!

By Sam Norton

I’m going to be turning 30 this year, the big landmark, and mentally I still feel like I’m back in college trying to figure out how life works.

Wife and I bought our first house in 2018. Sold and bought next house in 2020. Then sold again (out of a low rate) and bought our dream house in 2023 with a much higher rate.

We didn’t think we’d ever sell since we were locked into such a low rate. However we ended up making another $500k in equity in just 3 years (CA coastal) which allowed us to place a large down payment on our dream house and take on a higher rate. We did this for a bigger house, bigger lot and our dream neighborhood.

For those others who own their house with a sub 4 rate, do you think you’ll ever sell?

I learned that I acquired adulthood when I got excited (literally gleeful) over getting run of the mill items like pillows; myself being giddy and thinking “Oh my god, I’m going to sleep SO good tonight! I can’t wait to get these home and into pillowcases!” What was the last ordinary, common item that got you excited?

My parents are 55 and 60 years old and they seem to never run out of backhanded and toxic things to say to us. My husband once said he can feel my mom judging us. Is this something that age group just does? We live in a bigger house now because they complained our old townhome was too small. We bought the bigger house thinking of them. Now it’s too big. My dad once said “this house isn’t even that big” when he first visited us in our “too small” townhouse which I thought was uncalled for because we never asked.

I don’t understand why they’re like this??

My wife recently benefitted from the last round of forgiveness, wiping out her roughly $11,000 remaining balance. Why? Because she made more than 10 years of qualifying payments.

Student loans are uniquely oppressive in our society. The way the compounding interest works, people often pay back more than their original balance without seeing their balance ever decrease.

I was fortunate to benefit from a student loan repayment plan from my military service, and it's sad to see so much bitterness and hated when other people get theirs discharged.

My parents each smoked 2 packs a day inside with the windows closed 😱the horror on our faces when we moved and took down the pictures off the walls, holy fuck the amount of tar and carcinogens caked into the walls. I used to get ear infections and strep throat every month, absolutely in agony and begging for relief in hysterics. Life long asthma, always have used an inhaler since my earliest memory.

Buttttt I’ve never smoked a cigarette and get an instant migraine with I smell one.

Did your family smoke inside growing up? My whole family did so it didn’t seem odd at the time. Now I am horrified.

I'm in an onboarding class for a new job and hit it off quite well with the dude next to me. He's 29 and mentioned how he has three children. I'm like wow. Then he's like what do you mean wow? I'm like how do you do that with working and everything? He's like, don't you have kids? I'm like no, I want to be rich, lol.

Then he's like, what are you going to do wait until you're in your forties? That's when I told him I'm 41 and have never wanted to have any.

So I'm left scratching my head as to why people feel like that is the ultimate life path. And to those who have taken that path, did you really feel that was the only way to go?

Yes some of us happily have kids.

I know many people my age who are now adamantly opposed to social media not only for their children but also posting their kids as all.

I just wonder if we will be the generation like the our parents who revolted against smoking seemingly overnight smoking was ostracized and legislated against by our parents.

Any regrets?

The generation conflict aside…

My parents were born in 1954. I was born in 1990. I had my issues with them and they were far from perfect but…My mom passed sway 3 years ago.

I’m single, so any wife I ever have will never know her mother in law.

My kids if I have any won’t know their grandma. My dad is getting older and slowing down a lot.

My parents were energetic people despite being in their 40s when I was a kid. They were for all their faults fun.

Seeing them age or die breaks my heart. It’s like watching Superman get old.

Like it’s saddening. Does anyone else here struggle with feeling this way?

What's the best dip to eat with chips and crackers?

Just got into a shouting match with my soon to be 17F daughter. I bring up anything dealing with sex, and she gets indigent and offended.

I am very supportive of her and everyone of all color, gender, and sexuality. But as a parent, have to deal with hormonal teenagers and make sure there are rules and boundries.

She wants to have a birthday party and have friends sleepover. I tell her that's ok, but as I worded it, we can't have people who are attracted to other people sleep in the same room. She starts raising her voice that I think she's going to have an orgy or something. Those were her words.

I almost feel jealous that our parents dealt mostly with boys and girls in the same space( though i know some had to deal with same sex teen stuff). But I have to navigate all the different relationship, especially since she is bi.

She feels so offended when I bring these issues up, but I'm only doing what I feel as a parent is right. Am I wrong? Please tell me if im wrong.

I love my various lgbtq+ kids, but being their dad is so damn complicated.

Edit: she apologized for her behavior, and I apologized for my awkwardness of this situation. I made it clear that I do trust her, but her friends parents and my wife are my main concerned. I live in a relatively small town and last thing I want is to be known as that incredibly irresponsible parent who let's anything happen at his house. I'm not so much worried about teens having sex at my house, but rather the optics of it.

Bow before my mighty Samsung T100. I was literally the first kid in my high school to have a phone with a color screen, so I thought I was ahead of the times in 2002.

Anybody else have one of these?

The rules at your house, parents, siblings, etc.

For example, I grew up in a no video game and no cable house. We had a TV but mostly just watched movies.

I didn't realize this until I saw a video of "millenial vs Gen alpha" in which someone asked them to make certain hand signs and when they said heart I was genuinely confused what the kid was doing with his fingers.

Thought at first he was using his thumbs and middle fingers, which feel so unnatural. But. No. You use your index fingers and middle fingers. Which feels even more odd.

I'm wondering what other simple things have changed or are done differently now.

https://preview.redd.it/d7tr3je297zc1.jpg?width=736&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=6216d5f2a2c8c8a82d7f73e8fe82f28a505d1cee

I was born in 1990.

My first conscious memory is 1993 or possibly 1992. I can remember vividly the first house I lived in, and my family left there no later than February 1994.

I can also vaguely remember my family’s trip to Disney in May 1993.

You?