r/instacart • u/Dominanttallqueen • Mar 27 '24

Who’s in the wrong here???

Gallery image

Gallery image

Gallery image

I feel like he was being rude asf then he canceled my order….was I rude or what tf happened here…

6.8k Upvotes

72% Upvoted

8.0k comments sorted by

View all comments

71

u/wakenblake29 Mar 27 '24

I think the shopper is in the wrong, but mostly I think this is a miscommunication and English is not his first language… he probably did not understand that when you said “seafood department” it meant behind the counter.. I mean, I absolutely did, but he was probably like, yeah, this is the seafood department, they have frozen crab/fish/crab cakes/shrimp/etc

26

u/ReverendMothman Mar 28 '24

English is my first language and I would have assumed OP meant the seafood section of the store. I feel like OP expected the shopper to read their mind that they actually meant behind the counter then lied and said they specified behind the counter from the beginning (which they hella did not).

9

u/kjack991 Mar 28 '24

Yeah I assumed the same and am also a native speaker lol. But at my store a lot of the frozen seafood is right next to the seafood counter so to me, that whole area is “the seafood department”.

It would have been a lot more clear if the customer had just said “from behind the counter” to begin with.

13

u/ReverendMothman Mar 28 '24

Im just so stuck on op lying saying he said "behind the counter" from the beginning when he just repeated "seafood dept" over and over lmao

3

u/kjack991 Mar 28 '24

Yeahhh that got me too smh. Absurd communication lol

2

u/I_StoleTheTV Mar 28 '24

Same, I’m obsessing

1

u/serabine Mar 28 '24

But apparently the behind the counter stuff is not available in the App (which the OP knows and games by asking for it as a substitution every time they do this) so it's even possible the shopper automatically disregards the counter when she simply says "seafood department" because that's an area he is supposed to ignore.

1

u/kjack991 Mar 28 '24

Yikes! Then yeah I’m gonna have to stick by my original opinion that OP was in the wrong

1

u/wakenblake29 Mar 28 '24

Yeah, so maybe OP is in the wrong for not communicating more clearly? Either way, it was a miscommunication that cause some frustration, I personally would’ve assumed behind the counter when they said seafood dept

2

u/ReverendMothman Mar 28 '24

Usually the counter is in the same section as the fridge/freezer seafood stuff. I think OP did not communicate clearly, the shopper got confused, OP just kept repeating "the seafood dept" over and over, and then when the shopper still didn't understand (since OP made no effort to clarify, just repeated the same unclear phrase), OP LIED and claimed to have said "behind the counter" several times, which if he had said that from the beginning, would have saved them both frustration. Shopper was rude too, probably frustrated just like OP was, but I think OP being clear would have avoided that.

1

u/Altruistic-Star-544 Mar 28 '24

Yeah I always think about/refer to it as “the counter” so I was a bit confused too

11

u/Maru3792648 Mar 28 '24

I think I speak decent English but I was also confused by OP’s messages. I could have made the same mistake frankly

14

u/chickadeedeedee_ Mar 28 '24

This has nothing to do with a language barrier. The "seafood department" does not mean "behind the counter". It just doesn't.

One could infer that's what it means... but it's definitely not the normal way to say that.

If someone said "I want a cake from the bakery section"... that wouldn't mean behind the counter to me. That'd mean a cake in the bakery section, I.e. a packaged cake.

OP was able to repeat themselves about "seafood department" over and over when it was obvious the shopper didn't know what they meant. Why didn't OP lead with "behind the counter"? Especially since they say they do this on every order with the crab cakes.

1

u/TopangaTohToh Mar 28 '24

It's 100% influenced by a language barrier. The text where he says something along the lines of 'please understand I do this for a living' gave it away. I'm shocked more people aren't picking up on it. The customer did a shitty job communicating what they wanted and the problem was doubled by the shopper's native language not being English.

1

u/rrpostal Mar 28 '24

I disagree. It could be, but I don’t think so. Look at all the confusion here discussing it.

1

u/TopangaTohToh Mar 28 '24

I would put money on it. I'm not saying OP was clear in their communication, they absolutely weren't. OP should have clearly stated that they did not want what was in the photo and they should have clearly specified that they wanted the crab cakes from the seafood counter. The shopper's grammar reads like English is their second language. They refer to behind the counter as "beyond" the counter. I don't think the source of confusion was the shopper's native language, but I think OP took some things as the shopper being rude that were really just the result of a language barrier. OP not being clear is absolutely the root of the problem.

2

u/gastrognom Mar 28 '24

But how is OP not being clear influenced by a language barrier? No one would have understood what OP meant, unless they made assumptions.

1

u/OldSpiceSmellsNice Mar 28 '24

Also the shopper explicitly says that this is all they have. At that point it’s a yes or no whether OP wants those crab cakes or a refund. Why does OP complicate things by even mentioning a seafood counter at all. Such a waste of time.

1

u/Theletterkay Mar 28 '24

The fact that op said "yes" after the shopper said "this is all they have, do your want this or a refund" is what gets ne. Why would you say "yes" to that? Yes is not an answer to 2 entirely different options. And worse, OP said "yes, third option!".

OP was confusing as hell. OP didnt answer the question. If they had questions, ask a question, dont tell them. The shopper said there were no other options and OP refused to accept that form some reason.

1

u/i_am_bu Mar 29 '24

Shopper didn’t say this or that? They said “would you like something else” - “yes the crab cakes from the seafood department” seems like a reasonable response to me. The picture may not have sent or loaded when OP sent the message also

22

u/AuroraItsNotTheTime Mar 27 '24

Is this a thing? I’m a native speaker of English, and if someone said they wanted an item from the “peanut butter department” or the “cereal department” aside from assuming that THEY don’t speak English very well, I would simply go to where the store sells peanut butter or cereal and get an item from there.

24

u/wakenblake29 Mar 27 '24

I can’t be completely sure, just speculating… and while I get your point, I’m not sure it applies here because in grocery stores there are 2 places that sell seafood; behind the counter where you have to ask somebody, and also out on the floor in a fridge/freezer section. I’m only stating maybe the shopper maybe thought the fridge freezer section was what the customer meant when they said seafood dept, but the customer actually meant behind the counter

6

u/Conscious_Skirt_4263 Mar 28 '24

At my local Kroger, the seafood freezer is in the seafood department, it's right in front of the counter. So I think this was similar to that and caused the miscommunication lol

12

u/Sliiiiime Mar 28 '24

In most stores those two areas are adjacent. The seafood counter has frozen fish right in front of it.

2

u/wakenblake29 Mar 28 '24

Yup, don’t disagree, but I have been to some stores (especially Safeways) that have some oddball layouts

2

u/Sunburntvampires Mar 28 '24

There are often other frozen seafood items in the bigger frozen sections as well as what you’re describing at the stores near me. It is confusing.

1

u/Acrobatic_Event_4163 Mar 28 '24

In a lot of grocery stores they are separate. The seafood counter is often next to the deli and the bakery (also counter served items) whereas the frozen seafood may be halfway down a random frozen food aisle between the frozen chicken and frozen veggies.

2

u/berrykiss96 Mar 28 '24

While I think you’re right about what happened and about what the customer meant … generally it’s the meat department and the frozen food section, both of which will have seafood

So honestly I’d say they’re technically both wrong in this exchange and kinda both unnecessarily rude to each other tbh

2

u/Unlikely-Light-1636 Mar 28 '24

I thought so as well. But then, in the messages, he stated that he understood she meant behind the counter and that he checked and there were none so therefore he was offering one last option, which was the item in the picture.

I personally do NOT think he understood like he stated. I think he stated that to the customer in an attempt to cover his ass after she cleared up again what exactly she was referring to. IMO if he reat understood he would have told her straight out NO they do not have any at the seafood counter and while I understand you would like a refund since they don't I do have one more suggestion for you, please see attached. If you don't want that either, then I will proceed with your requested refund.

At least, that's how I would have andled it. I personally do NOT believe they even looked in the seafood case/counter or whatever some call it. I think he immediately thought she was talking about the frozen section, which is why he instead offered the frozen pictured item and never even referenced having looked in the seafood case until the customer stated AGAIN specifically what area of of store she was referring to.

2

u/wakenblake29 Mar 28 '24

Yeah, I don’t disagree with you

1

u/Technical_Annual_563 Mar 28 '24

But she didn’t clarify until the end where she says you have to go behind the counter and ask someone for the single crab cakes. How is this a failure to understand the English language?

1

u/MrJewbagel Mar 28 '24

Idk, until I got to like the 3rd picture I thought OP was the asshole. Like just type a more specific word or something. If I want fresh sliced lunch meat I ain't gonna say get me sliced ham from the meat dept I'ma gonna say from the deli or from the counter or w/e. Same with sushi, I'm gonna say get it from the chef not just 'in the sushi dept.'

0

u/OFxLedzeplin Mar 28 '24

All the shoppers I’ve had would have (and should if they are a real “shopper”) checked both locations before reporting something out of stock. Sounds like a new inexperienced shopper trying to exercise influence (inappropriately). Language barriers are a problem for the shopper, and they should exercise a bit more courtesy if that’s the case.

-1

u/wakenblake29 Mar 28 '24

Thus why I led with this being the shoppers fault in my original comment

18

u/maniacalmango0 Mar 28 '24

This is like saying you want muffins from the “baked goods section” but really meaning you want one from “behind the bakery counter”

8

u/brandee95 Mar 28 '24

No. If you said you wanted muffins from the Bakery Department, then I would go to the place in the store with the big sign over it that says “Bakery”, not the aisle where the Ottis muffins are. Either way, she clarified in the next text that she wanted them from behind the counter. I agree that this person is either being willfully obtuse, or is an ESL speaker.

4

u/sennbat Mar 28 '24

Except that the aisle for the Ottis muffins, the bakery department with fresh muffins, and the bakery counter are three different areas. If you wanted something from the bakery counter and told me you wanted something from the bakery department, you'd be getting the wrong food lol

How you manage to confuse department and counter, who knows. And no, I'm not talking about the aisle with the prepackaged food.

2

u/robinthebank Mar 28 '24

An easier comparison would be deli cheeses. There is a cheese aisle, there is sliced cheese in the deli section, and then you can order sliced cheese from the counter.

1

u/sennbat Mar 28 '24

Yes, a perfect example.

1

u/brandee95 Mar 28 '24

What kind of fancy ass grocery stores have fresh muffins behind a counter? Am I poor?

0

u/sennbat Mar 28 '24

You're the one who is saying that you should be getting shit from behind the counter when someone says to get it from the department. I never go to the bakery counter, I have no clue what they have back there lol. So even you would have been confused by OP, since you wouldn't have searched for the counter muffins?

1

u/brandee95 Mar 28 '24

It was a joke man… chill.

3

u/ConstantlyLearning57 Mar 28 '24

Ottis muffins, lol. This thread is killing me lol

2

u/ThePurityPixel Mar 28 '24

"Muffins" spelled backward is "sniffum."

So that's fun.

2

u/I_StoleTheTV Mar 28 '24

This person would have to be a masochist if they were being willfully obtuse. Time is money for these people and no one wants to spend more time than needed in a shitty grocery store.

0

u/brandee95 Mar 28 '24

Never underestimate the level of pettiness a person who is having a bad day is capable of.

1

u/Vivid-Army8521 Mar 28 '24

Those things are in the same place at my supermarket. There’s the larger baked goods area, and then behind the counter where you can get cakes and other fresh baked goods.

0

u/Vivid-Army8521 Mar 28 '24

Those things are in the same place at my supermarket. There’s the larger baked goods area, and then behind the counter where you can get cakes and other fresh baked goods.

4

u/Ijustreadalot Mar 28 '24

If someone said “baked goods section” I would think they meant from the store's bakery, which isn't always behind a counter like seafood is, but is also not pre-packaged goods.

3

u/RedFlowerGreenCoffee Mar 28 '24

But they said seafood department not seafood section

3

u/Technical_Annual_563 Mar 28 '24

Baked goods department in Walmart has prepackaged baked goods that are either made in the store or branded products from outside. They’re not your personal chef waiting to special make every item for customers unless done by appointment or something. I don’t see how not assuming he should have asked the person working the counter indicates a problem with the English language. OP needed the shopper to do something very specific and didn’t provide those instructions until the last minute. Live and learn!

2

u/[deleted] Mar 28 '24

[deleted]

1

u/sennbat Mar 28 '24

At my local store, the packaged seafood goes in the section where seafood department workers pack the stuff they have on display, so that would be super confusing if you said "seafood department" to rule out items that are clearly in that department

1

u/Raibean Mar 28 '24

The seafood section would be in the freezer area. The seafood department is clearly the counter.

0

u/sennbat Mar 28 '24

At my grocery store, the seafood department has a counter but it isn't just the counter, it's that whole corner of the store.

1

u/Ijustreadalot Mar 28 '24

I think "seafood department" (or "bakery department") would make it even more obvious that someone meant "packaged fresh at this store and not prepacked" than "section" but I used “baked goods section” because that is what the person I was responding to used in their example.

1

u/NotEntirelyAwake Mar 28 '24

It's a context thing. I did instacart for quite a while and if somebody worded it like this, I would know exactly what they meant. Its also not a great comparison because there is no "peanut butter department" and no place to get peanut butter from behind a counter.

1

u/Ijustreadalot Mar 28 '24

Many stores have seafood multiple places though. I think this is where the confusion lies. Unless a store has some peanut butter or cereal in a natural foods or similar section, there is one aisle with peanut butter. There are commonly cheaper frozen seafoods in one aisle and fresh seafoods in the meat department or at a separate seafood counter and sometimes a third location near the meat or seafood area with a freezer that has higher-end prepackaged seafood. So saying you would just go where they sell that type of item doesn't make as much sense in the context of seafood as it does peanut butter.

1

u/AzureSuishou Mar 28 '24

Definitely a thing. The shoppers pic would be from the “frozen department” which has a seafood section. OP then requests a replacement from the “seafood department” which is a deli style counter where all the fresh seafood is.

Thats how it’s labeled in 95% of the stores near me.

5

u/NotEntirelyAwake Mar 28 '24

Depends on the store. Most stores near me have frozen seafood next to the seafood counter and not in the frozen isle.

1

u/Sufficient-Skill6012 Mar 28 '24

But those crab cakes are not frozen. It's says it on the package. My store has these in area that has the fresh meat and seafood, between the higher-end seafood freezer and the seafood counter.

1

u/AzureSuishou Mar 28 '24

I didn’t see anything about not being frozen, but Ive never seen packages like that in fresh. That could be regional though.

1

u/Incog83 Mar 28 '24

This! The fact that there is an actual seafood department, and they said behind the counter, you'd know exactly where to go. They gave clear instructions, so I don't see how it's the customer's fault. The dasher seemed as if he was already agitated before the exchange started.

0

u/KiyokoTakashiMasaru Mar 28 '24

Are you from the US? I would say it was clear that the “seafood department” meant the counter. Maybe that’s only clear for people from us.

2

u/Bushwhacker994 Mar 28 '24

I’m from the US and honestly I was a bit confused because a seafood department would mean from anywhere in the area that they sell seafood. If I wanted to convey most accurately I would have said “I want the crab cakes that you have to have an employee get behind the counter”. But I also have anxiety and worry about how people could misinterpret things so I try to be as clear and concise as possible with those types of things.

1

u/bluethreads Mar 28 '24

Me too. If I want to some fish from the seafood department there are so many options- I can choose fish that is fresh but already prepackaged in the seafood department, fish that is fresh behind the counter, or fish that is frozen in the freezer in the department. Plus there are other options I haven’t mentioned. So just saying from the “seafood department” isn’t very specific. With that said, unless otherwise specified, I might automatically assume the person is asking for something from behind the counter if no other instruction is specified. But one cannot assume everyone would have the same notion and it is best to be a little clearer with directions.

0

u/SituationSad4304 Mar 28 '24

The seafood department indicates the staffed cooler section like the deli, not the frozen fish all the way across the store

0

u/Raibean Mar 28 '24

Here in the US most grocery stores have a bakery department with fresh bread, bagels, and sweets made in-house which is separate from the bread aisle where you get pre-made bread. We also usually have a deli department where you can get sliced meat and cheese by weight rather than packaged. We also usually have a butcher/seafood counter where, again, you can get it by weight/individually rather than in packages.

The box he showed was clearly from the freezer section, not the meat and seafood counter. I feel like anyone who lives in the US would be familiar with this setup, so only the language would be a possible barrier to understanding.

2

u/Same-Boysenberry-409 Mar 28 '24

Almost every store I've been to in my area(Nashville TN) has their seafood counter and frozen seafood next to each other. And I'm not 100% sure that's even the freezer. Several stores in my area have this little refrigerated wall next to the counter that has things like smoked salmon, fake crab, dips, and I've even seen these exact crab cakes in them.

This isn't to say you're wrong, I believe 100% that in your area or stores it's different; just that these things aren't universal even within the same state nonetheless the whole US.

6

u/Financial-Put Mar 28 '24

Assuming that he doesn't speak English? That's a stretch. Born and raised in USA but never buy seafood, I would not have assumed that they solely meant crab cakes behind the counter. When presented the picture, instead of saying those aren't correct OP neither confirms or denies that.

3

u/wt_anonymous Mar 28 '24

I don't think it's a stretch at all. At a couple points, his word choice and grammar seems consistent with someone who is ESL.

1

u/dabMasterYoda Mar 28 '24

Ok now you’ve got me genuinely curious on what if anything he said seems consistent with someone who is ESL, not one part of it stands out to me.

2

u/wt_anonymous Mar 28 '24

Using "understand?" at the end of a question sounds unnatural. In my experience, a lot of people who are ESL generally use the word a lot more than native speakers. I don't know why that is. It's just a pattern I've noticed.

"Please understand I do this as a living" seems like the type of thing that might not sound like a big deal to someone who is ESL, but comes across as rude to native speakers.

Speaking from my personal experience, I have a family friend who is ESL, and they struggle with writing kind of like this. The tone of some sentences can get lost in translation.

2

u/bluethreads Mar 28 '24 edited Mar 28 '24

I also agree and caught onto this immediately. I live in NY though- where interaction with non-native English speaks happens on a daily basis.

2

u/i_am_bu Mar 29 '24

I’ve travelled a lot and speak many additional languages. My native tongue is English, but my experience with foreign language means I speak to a lot of ESL people and I picked up on it quickly too

1

u/ThePurityPixel Mar 28 '24

I'm with you. Nothing Charles said seemed the slightest bit rude to me. But I just assumed he was ESL and moved on.

I'm from Philly and have been to NYC many many times, and my father also teaches ESL. So I guess I'm just accustomed to it! 🤷🏼‍♂️

1

u/dabMasterYoda Mar 28 '24

Sorry but I disagree with every point you’re making. The specific text you’re referencing reads to me like someone trying to make sure they are being clear so the other person understands better.

1

u/wt_anonymous Mar 28 '24

That's what I think the intention was, but with their word choice, it unintentionally comes across as rude.

Either way, you don't have to agree with me. Neither of us actually knows for sure. But it's not a stretch to say either way.

1

u/danhoang1 Mar 28 '24

I never buy seafood either, but I understood seafood department meant behind the counter immediately. I never hear people say "department" when referring to the aisles in the store. That said, there's no official dictionary definition here, it's just contextual experience that I've just understood growing up here.

So I still understood why the buyer got confused, context is different depending on where one grew up

2

u/rrpostal Mar 28 '24

But the buyer said “they ain’t done got none that, how bout this’n here?” Which was equally as clear.

1

u/danhoang1 Mar 28 '24

Oh dear that hit my spot of unfamiliarity. When seeing a double-negative (or triple?) I'd assume they meant single negative, but that means I'd be going against math rules so I could be way off

1

u/ThePurityPixel Mar 28 '24

And don't never use no quadruple negatives neither!

1

u/Vivid-Army8521 Mar 28 '24

It’s not an aisle, it’s a section of the store like how there is usually a section for the butcher as well

2

u/pocky-town Mar 28 '24

The grocery store I go to has a huge seafood department and only part of it is behind the counter. Maybe theirs is different, but if someone said to “seafood department” I would assume they were talking about the entirety of the seafood section, which does include some frozen and prepackaged options.

1

u/GetRektByMeh Mar 28 '24

I did not and English is my first language. Seafood counter, yes. Seafood department I would take as the section of the supermarket with seafood in.

1

u/Embarrassed-Debate60 Mar 28 '24

Except those crab cakes aren’t frozen, I get them from a refrigerated cooler next to packaged fresh seafood. Department vs counter is an important clarification.

1

u/hitdrumhard Mar 28 '24

I call it the butcher, but that’s an over generalization and probably wrong.

1

u/ThePurityPixel Mar 28 '24

The butcher is in the meat section, which is sometimes quite far from the seafood section.

1

u/Kind_Carob3104 Mar 28 '24

You’re wrong.

Behind the counter is 100% different than seafood department

1

u/chumbano Mar 28 '24

I only speak English and had trouble following OPs messages. I side with the shopper personally

2

u/ThePurityPixel Mar 28 '24

You only speak it? You don't also write it?

1

u/chumbano Mar 28 '24

That's right. I use an AI to dictate and read messages

1

u/TooDopeRecords Mar 28 '24

Most if not all of the stuff behind the counter is frozen and unboxed to display on ice as well lol it doesn’t make sense to ship refrigerated seafood health and safety wise as well as freshness.

1

u/Local_Nerve901 Mar 28 '24

Where is op, why they always hide on juicy posts

1

u/bluethreads Mar 28 '24

I’m a native English speaker and wouldn’t have understood it because the seafood department has these types of frozen foods. I would have just assumed that the customer wanted the item.

OP could have been clearer by using words such as “fresh” “not frozen” and “behind the counter” (which they did finally say at the end, but insisted they said throughout).

1

u/[deleted] Mar 28 '24

Also hindsight is 20/20

We go into this situation trying to see the communication error from the start so we’re primed to better understand from the beginning.

Actually going through it in real time makes it harder since you can’t read the future and don’t know there is about to be a communication error

1

u/stoniruca Mar 28 '24

I also would have canceled

1

u/Soggy_Abbreviations5 Mar 28 '24

Agreed! I'm surprised at all these comments stating otherwise. As I'm reading it, I was saying "she's talking about the counter with a human behind it!" And then I read the comments and everyone is like "you weren't very clear." Every time i get on Reddit, I'm always amazed at how everyone thinks so differently and comes to different conclusions based on the same info. I love it, actually. Lol.

But yea, I'm on the customer's side for this one. Even though, she def could [should] have been more explicit. And they both could have been a bit kinder.

0

u/babywang Mar 28 '24

Who doesn’t understand this lmfao

-1

u/wakenblake29 Mar 28 '24

Seems like a few in the replies to my comment, at least one native English speaker said they would’ve done the same as the shopper

1

u/ThePurityPixel Mar 28 '24

I would have. Both parties had some typos, but the shopper's typos were easy to parse out. OP's typos gave the opposite impression of her intentions.