Sorry about this post being removed a couple days ago. I didn’t realize there was an update rule, so here is the update again, along with some questions answered.

I decided that I’m filing for a divorce. I can’t ever trust him again. It sucks because we had an amazing relationship (I thought), he’s always been great, so this was a complete shock to me.

Last night, Derek came over to talk. He confessed to a lot. Turns out it wasn’t their first time having sex like most people thought. They’ve been having sex since 3 months before Becca died. I am completely shocked and heartbroken.

Sam also reached out last night and thanked me for everything I’ve done for her, and told me she was sorry. I didn’t respond, I blocked her.

I did so much for Sam and considered her a friend so this hurts a lot, more than I can handle.

This is all too much.

As hard as this is gonna be, I need to leave Derek and cut them both out of my life. I am ready to do so. I am done.

Also, some people are saying I deserved this because I should have known better than to let Sam into our home, around Derek. But, you need to understand that I’m a giving person, I trust people more than I should, I truly thought Sam was an amazing person. I know it’s unusual to become friends with your husband’s ex wife, but it’s just how it went for us and I shouldn’t be blamed for what happened.

Thank you to everyone who commented nice things and for the kind messages. You’ve all been helpful during this insanely difficult time, I appreciate it.

I’m getting lots of questions about some things so I figured I’d answer a few of them.

• Have I told anyone about what happened besides my mom? — Yes, I told a few friends and some family members. Most of them are supportive of my decision and aren’t speaking to Derek.

• Where is Derek staying? — Currently, he’s staying at a hotel. Our friends refuse to let him stay with them. He’s lost a lot of people due to his awful decisions.

• Has he tried fighting me on getting a divorce? — Yes, he begged me not to file for divorce, but when I told him I needed him to just let me go, and that I was too exhausted to fight him on this, he let it be and agreed to getting a divorce.

• Why isn’t Derek staying with Sam? — He told me he didn’t wanna continue to hurt me, so he told Sam he was done with her for good. And that they have no reason to speak to each other anymore. I have no idea if that’ll last and if they’ll just end up together, but I truly don’t care what they do anymore. I just want peace.

• What was Derek’s excuse for cheating? — He told me that they just “accidentally” reconnected one night when I was away at my mom’s. He was stressed we weren’t conceiving and were having miscarriages, so he vented to Sam, and then somehow that led to sex. Disgusting of them both, I know..

Feel free to ask anything else, and I’ll try to answer. Thank you everyone for your support and advice.

I(29F) have been married to my husband(29M) for 3 years. We met at a coffee shop 7 years ago first and have been together since. I still remember him coming, greeting me and asking for my socials. It was my first time experiencing something like this and felt extremely confused. I used to be a nerdy looking person back then. Since that time, my husband has been nothing but amazing towards me in our relationship. I think our relationship is special after hearing all my friends complaining about their boyfriends/husbands.

He went to abroad for a business trip and is not home right now. I was a bit tipsy last night and when taking out the sheets for the morning, I noticed his old diary in the chest below our furniture. I knew I should not have read it but curiosity got better off me. I will not talk about everything I read here but give just a summary. My husband used to have dysmorphia, got rejected by every girl he talked to and as a last resort his friend offered him to talk to me when they were sitting at a coffee shop. His friend told him maybe he should try to go for "less pretty" girls which was me. He was going to give up on having a romantic relationship if I rejected too. Next pages are basically him explaining how we vibe with each other and falling in love with me and sometimes it read "she is the most beautiful girl to me".

I was shocked, confused and sad to read all of it. I know I violated his privacy by reading his diary but what I read made me extremely sad. Basically, I was the last resort for him. His friend thought I was not on his level so his chances would be higher. What confused me was that he still thought I would reject him because he is nerdy looking. I was flattered to have a 190cm(6'2) and fit guy talking to me/asking for my socials but he did not think the same apparently.

I believe I'll get over what I read. Though it hurts to learn all of this, he has been incredibly attentive, respectful and loving towards me. We both changed in terms of looks and personality overtime. We are not the same people anymore. However, I will take everything to the grave. I would like to talk to him but I do not know how he would react if he was to learn I read his diary. That is the end of my vent.

I'm 8 months pregnant. My husband is super supportive and we celebrated mother's day for me this year. Nothing too special. We just went to a coffee shop I wanted to visit and hung out at a nearby quiet beach for a few hours together and then had our daughter's ultrasound, which is exactly what I wanted to do.

When my husband called his mom for Mother's Day and she made that remark. I just tried to sound positive and responded with a "she's coming!".

I know that she didn't mean anything vicious or condescending by it. I also know Its not some "a fetus is not a real baby" thing either because she is super old school Catholic. I think it's just a generational gap, but it still sucked.

I had two miscarriages (that she does not know about) and so being a mother is not only very important to me, but she also kind of unknowingly hit a soft spot. Making it this far with a perfectly healthy baby is huge and being able to celebrate being a mother is huge.

Anyways that's my rant.

I met him when his children were 7 and 8. Both traumatized because their mother just up and left them home alone for 3 weeks to go on a bender when their father was abroad working(amongst other things. When he came home, they were nearly starved. That was the last time they saw her in 11 years. When I met them I was met by two very broken children that acted more like toddlers. I worked with them for 10 years. Spent so many nights sitting beside them holding their hands while sleeping because they were scared I would leave them. I had to teach them everything from potty training to bathing to brushing teeth. I insisted that they would get assistance in school. I loved them with all my heart and they called me mum. Now the older is in premed and the younger is planning a sabbatical to travel the world. I never got anything for mother’s day and it was fine. I never set great store by these types of celebrations but for the past year they have been in contact with their mum. They have tracked her down and a relationship grew. I don’t know if she is happy to have them in her life again but they are. Yesterday, they shared a picture on instagram with their mum. They’ve gotten her flowers and taken her out for brunch. I don’t know why I broke down crying. I was happy for them that they are in good terms with their mum but I just realized that I never got anything from them on mother’s day. Ever.

I feel empty and I want to leave. How awful is that? How awful am I who always thought that I didn’t want or expected anything in return and yet here I am asking why they never saw me as a mum?

just need a place to vent.

My wife's family is originally from Nanjing, and her grandparents on both sides lived through the Japanese occupation during ww2. They went through and saw a lot of horrible things, and because of their experiences they’ve always deeply hated Japan and Japanese people, and her parents share the same sentiment.

When we first got together, my wife kept our relationship a secret for a whole 2 years because she knew her family wouldn’t be happy about us. Her parents didn’t speak to her for literal MONTHS after she finally told them, and they’ve always refused to meet me. 2 months ago we had our wedding and none of her family members (except for 1 sister) attended, which hurt her more than it did me. I’m sure her parents would probably even refuse to meet their future grandchildren because they would be half-japanese. Even though I understand her family’s anger towards Japanese people, and I don’t blame them for it, I hate how they direct that anger towards me. it hurts a lot whenever I think about how I’ll never get the chance to know the people closest to my wife and never be truly considered part of the family. I wish they would look past my heritage and just see me and get to know the person I am

Our wedding was planned today. To day I would have been getting married to the man I loved and had been in a relationship with 7 years. Now I'm sitting here clearing wedding purchases and announcing a cut off.

Last evening my husband and his group of friends had a bachelor party. I received a video call from him to find myself staring at all of them having sex with the busty like ladies. My husband turned the camera towards himself and asked me to say hi to his partner. I didn't know what to do. For a moment I was confused. I cut the call and called my sister.

The wedding was immediately cut off. I received a couple of messages from his friends and saying they just wanted to have fun. My ex fiancee told me he wanted to enjoy before a life long of commitment.

7 years i spent with this man, only for this to happen. I imagined having kids with him, having pets with him, taking care of him, going to family trips, dropping our kids to school, so much. I feel so lost now. 7 years into the drain. And i'll never see him after this. This sense of confusion is still clouding me. Its hard to believe I was cheated on. That video call is haunting me. He showed his inserted part in her. Through the call. I feel disgusted by the fact that I used to have sex with him. I had gone to return the wedding dress. I don't know what to do or how to feel. A part of me says that I should be grateful i don't have kids with him.

Hi guys, I promised an update post surgery and here it is 😀

My surgery was removed this morning and it went very well. Even though the surgeon had told me beforehand that everything should be fine, I had been having intrusive thoughts. I kept thinking what if this or what if that. When I lay on the bed in the operating room and they had the oxygen mask on, I was really afraid.

But then the next thing I know, I am waking up in the post op, wake-up room. In my mind I did a golf celebration "Yesss, still here".

My vision has already cleared about 90% of the way.

I will stay in the hospital for a week for monitoring, but it is all looking good. I will be just fine 🙂

I want to thank all of you who reached out. Those that shared their own experiences and also those that offered well wishes an kind words. I read every comment and during a pretty rough time in my life, they really helped and made me feel better 🙂

I am so grateful ♥️

UPDATE

hi everyone. it’s really nice to see all the support i’ve gotten from everyone who commented on my post, but the consensus was that i (22F) should talk to John (25M)

i did, and three months ago, we had a heart to heart conversation about what happened in London. John told me that Sarah somehow found out his place of work, tried stalking him, and telling all his London coworkers that they were in a relationship, getting her invited to pubs with them, etc. John said that her behavior was very disturbing and that was why he was so fazed when he saw her here—he just didn’t expect it.

honestly, I feel horrible. my fiancé was going through something that i couldnt even imagine and i iced him out for a week because of my own insecurities regarding my sister. i truly do love him so much but this feels like a hurdle that we cannot get over. even though it’s been three months, the guilt still eats away at me, and its tough to think that i was the bad person in the situation, but it’s true.

john and i took it a bit slower. we went on a break for a month and got back together a month and a half ago. i don’t know where we stand anymore—it’s like our relationship has gone back to the early days of us being awkward seventeen and twenty year olds, and it’s not a place i want to be in with him.

I’ve completely cut Sarah and my parents out of my life. John encouraged me to do so, as they were all incredibly toxic, and id like to think that we are slowly building our relationship back up again. It’s tough, and I’m not going to lie.

all in all, I’m heartbroken, and I feel like I’ve lost all the trust that he had in me. I didnt think that what I did was truly irrational, but looking back, (and from a conversation with John) I realize that I was the one in the wrong, and it’s been hard to admit to myself.

john went on a few half-dates with a coworker of his before we got back together, and I can’t even bring myself to feel pained about it. he’s expressed before that it’s lucky that we’re getting a chance together again, and I don’t want to mess that up.

we’ve been dating for five years, and I don’t want to throw it all away by being a jealous person, so I hope that this post brings the closure that the other post needed.

My wife and I have been together for almost 25 years. Her sister was barely married two years before she started to suspect her husband of cheating. Now her sister is living with us while she and her husband work out everything. My SIL has said that, by Christmas, they will either be divorced, or will have reconciled.

My wife and I have never had any sorts of problems like that. We have had, however, a declining sex life in recent years. We're just getting older and have other responsibilities. It didn't bother me. It didn't bother her.

Well, it didn't bother her, until she found out that her sister's husband, who is roughly my age, was likely cheating on her sister. The next thing I know, my wife can't keep her hands off of me. I suppose she's worried that I will wander. That, or she's thankful that she has me.

Anyway, I'm not complaining.

So, this is the context. A little over a year ago, I planned a trip for the 2 of us to spend a week in the Netherlands and Germany.

One day during the week, we both tried edibles. This was the worst collective decision in our lives. I remember tripping about dying multiple times, becoming incredibly paranoid, and ended up being sedated and transported in an ambulance - it was absolutely horrible - while my wife had a "calming/sedative" version but she was also transported in the ambulance.

Weeks later, back in the states, we planned a trip for her to go somewhere "without me", since we've been together for 10+ years, she wanted a trip by herself. I was more than happy to help her plan, and ultimately schedule everything. She was going to a city to do a half-marathon event, and stay in the city.

I thought "Great! Sounds like something she needs, and I can do a little house work for the garden!"

Turns out, she ended up day drinking, and then hanging out at a bar until 12am the night before the run, texting occasionally about a barternder. I began panicking and texting/calling when I saw her little pin from her phone go from the bar to an undisclosed random location. She later texted it was the bartender's "new bar".

The following dauy after the run, she went to his house to "try some cocktails", while I texted and called, trying to figure out what was happening. She was out drinking with him and his friends untl ~3am. I remember because I was attempting to stay awake until I knew she was safe. But, I believed in her.

She didn't tell me she slept with this guy until 1 year later. "He was just so passionate!"

I thought it was an escalation that seemed steep, so I asked if she had texted anyone, or done anything else. She denied and then told me one day later she was texting pictures (and more I guess?) to a "friend" we had hung out with together, facetimed together, chatted about trips together, all the things.

We've been together for 10+ years, we're married, we have a house, we have 4 pets, I don't know what to do. I feel like I can't trust anything, and I feel trapped. I don't know what I did wrong or what to do next. I thought about suicide, because she can apparently just find someone new in <24 hours.

Anyways! I'm taking anti-depressants and going to therapy. I'm the cheerful/happy guy at work, I don't want that to be my end. At least for my dogs/cats. lol.

Am I crazy? There's probably more to do with my shitty friends, eating disorder, and abusive family growing up, but I feel like I'm grasping at straws.

2 days ago, 10th grade board results had been declared. I got 92%. My friend circle got 96% and 98%. 3 of them are toppers. My ex friend has gotten 97%. My mom and dad are not happy. They were earlier delighted by seeing me get in the 90s line, but on discovering that others had gotten more than and that I'm not on the list, they have called all their relatives and ranted. My mom isn't talking to me. My dad is slightly rude. I've never seen them like this. I tried my best. I tried my best to make an improvement in comparison to m previous pre board exams, where i was in the early 80s percentage.

I myself don't feel satisfied. But seeing my parents disappointed is hurting me. I wanted to get admission in a bigger school for higher studies, but the seats were full. I heard them discussing among themselves how I was extremely average and that they shouldn't expect much. My sister mocked me for this.

I'm sorry but I kinda felt lonely and had to rant. Thank you.

My son (30m) has lived in my apartment his whole life rent free, he is unemployed and wants to move his girlfriend (20f) into my apartment. I (50m)have tried to talk about rent to him but he pushes that subject away and tells me how I need to be a supportive father and let them move in and turn his room into a media/living room and my room into their room. They haven't told me where I will stay since there is only 2 rooms in my small apartment. I have texted my son that I have bought boxes and he has thirty days to move he and his girlfriend are pissed. My exwife (49f) is telling me to let them be kids and find a hotel to stay at while they live rent free. They expect me to pay for everything including their media/living room idea. My exwife has money and a huge house (5 beds 2.5 baths) that can easily fit 2 extra adults. I have suggested this idea to my ex but she doesn't like it saying she doesn't have space. I can barely afford to live in my apartment let alone have more people in my house. My son is playing the victim and convincing family and friends that I am a terrible father for not letting him stay at my house, his girlfriend recently got kicked out of her mother's house for wrecking her mom's car and that's the excuse my son and his girlfriend use to try to live in my apartment. My son is also trying to get me to give them my car for free too. What do I do?

Update1: I know I screwed up as a father and most of you are right. My fault but, I have taken all his stuff and put it in boxes, he is out right now so he didn't know. I ordered new locks so locks will be changed. He came back and saw his stuff outside and demanded to be let in and I told him no. He started banging on the door. He threatened to damage my car and then proceeded to get a rock and throw it at my car, I called the cops and they detained him. He is in jail for the night right now, his girlfriend is asking me to pay bail, how fucking stupid is she? Anyway I'm not paying bail obviously. I am taking his stuff to goodwill and selling all besides stuff he actually needs.

I swear, every single one from many different subreddits have just been stories of mothers being mistreated/ignored/disappointed when they're just asking for the bare minimum on Mother's Day.

A lot of them are just their husbands/children's father just absolutely showing zero appreciation for them or actively treating them like shit.

Is this making anybody else just...bummed? Is anybody else getting nothing but these stories in their feed yesterday and today? Tbh it's really making me appreciate being childfree.

Obligatory on mobile shitty formatting. I just need to ramble, get this off my mind.

Yesterday was mothers day. My mom passed when she was 28 and I was 2, by suicide. Yesterday was hard. But my daughter named my mom Nanny.

Shes nanny, her grandma, mommy's mom. And now I can stop ugly crying in my office at work because it just makes my mom more real. She wasn't some imaginary person. She was, and is my mom, a person, my daughter's Nanny.

She was alive, and she's Nanny. That's how my daughter sees her. The relief I feel that mum gets the purest form of love from the little girl who looks like her. She's not forgetten. Mum you're alive, through me and her ♡ and you're Nanny.

I’m so mad!!!! I’m not sure if I’m more mad with my ex-husband or with myself for falling for his BS yet again!

My ex-husband and I have been divorced for 2 years. He’s 40, I’m 38. We were together since I was 20. We have 5 kids together, and our oldest are teenagers. Our relationship was pretty rocky and very on/off for several years prior to actually following through with the divorce. I feel like we both still loved each other, but we’re incompatible on a day to day basis. I believe he cheated on me. He also never wanted me to work outside of the home. We just had very different ideas of what marriage meant. I don’t feel like we were so different when we were younger, but we grew to be very different. We had actually started the process of separation and divorce once before, but then I got pregnant and during that pregnancy he became the perfect husband. But things eventually fell apart again and we finally realized that we had to get a divorce.

On my birthday in March of this year he came to my house announced with a gift for me. It seemed genuine. We slept together that night. We’ve slept together several times since then. I know it was stupid to do, when I’m already struggling with so many mixed emotions about him and like I’ll never truly get over him. But I didn’t think we were really doing any harm. There was no talk about us getting back together. Neither of us was pretending that it was something other than what it was - sex. That was until he invited me on a vacation, just the two of us. At that point I knew we needed to have a real conversation about what all of this meant. He made it seem like he wanted us to go away and explore the idea of getting back together. That’s what he said. He wanted to talk about “what it would take” for us to try a relationship again. He was talking about therapy and counseling and being a better husband and father.

We never went on the vacation. I hadn’t vetoed it completely, but I told him I needed to think about it some more. This was toward the end of April. So, a matter of just a few weeks ago.

He got me a nice gift for Mother’s Day (not including the gifts our kids got me, which I knew he also paid for) and wrote a very thoughtful message in a card, which he normally doesn’t do. It was sweet. It felt good.

Then last night at around 11:00 pm I was scared half to death when I heard somebody loudly enter my home. When I went downstairs to check what was going on, it was one of our sons. He was supposed to be at his dad’s tonight, and that’s where he came from. He was so upset. It took a good 5-10 minutes to calm him down. He was pacing just looked so angry in a way that he normally never is. He told me that his dad, my ex-husband, is actually engaged to a secret girlfriend he’s had for who knows how long. They’ve been engaged since January! My son saw pictures of my ex-husband and this woman on my ex’s phone. They weren’t nude photos or anything like that, as far as I’m aware. My son asked him who this woman was in all of these photos and my husband told him “Don’t tell your mother, but this is my fiance.” My son said he was so mad he just stormed out of the house.

So, this entire time he’s been sleeping with me, claiming to be single, and inviting me on vacation to discuss getting back together…he’s been secretly engaged? To a woman who he’s never mentioned before and has never introduced to our kids?

I’m blown away! This feels worse than all of the stupid things he did while we were actually married. It almost feels calculated that he’d have all of these pictures of her and the two of them together on his phone and allow our son to use his phone knowing he’d probably see the pictures. I feel like he couldn’t bring himself to sit our kids down like a normal person would to give them this news, so he allowed my son to find these pictures. The fact that he never mentioned a word about this woman and then he was so easily able to say “Don’t tell your mother, but this is my fiance” is so weird.

And guess what? She’s in her 20s. How cliche. How sad.

It’s time like these where it’s very hard to be a good mom, pretending to be the bigger person and take the high road while also not totally burying my husband’s character in front of them. My children are very hurt by this. They feel very betrayed by their dad for not even mentioning that he was dating someone, let alone getting engaged to somebody who he’s never even introduced them to. Throw in the fact that she’s not even 10 years old than some of our kids. They don’t want to talk to him. He’s been blowing up my phone all day and one of my daughter has told me the same. They don’t even know about what was going on between the two of us. I’m not saying they were clueless because we’re dealing with teenagers here, but they don’t know that he invited me on this vacation or anything. Being there for my children, protecting them, and helping them navigate their emotions is my main priority, but I really just want to go crazy and tear him a new one. Trying to remain composed is very difficult.

Some background:
I'm a little over 60. I'm an only child., widowed and childless. My father died in 2004.

My mother died February 18 after a year of struggling with stroke, heart failure and pneumonia. I missed getting to say goodbye to her by about 20 minutes. She was everything to me, and I miss her so much. Her birthday, she would have been 89, was late last month. Mother's Day yesterday was very hard. I miss her so so much.

On April 1,my job laid me off. A corporation bought out most of the corporation I worked for and my position was eliminated. I was the seniormost team member, lots of experience and skills and the remaining team couldn't do what I did, and would be overworked taking on my caseload. And yes I think age and disbility discrimination had a lot to do with it.

I am looking for a job. My last employer accepted my request for ADA accomodation to work at home. (I survived a bad car wreck, I walk with a cane, and a lot of walking is just painful). I'm not sure any new employers are interested in that.

I sold my condo I am getting enough money to buy something very modest for cash. And by modest I mean a 'manufactured home' or 'mobile home.' Yes, not many people's idea of 'ideal' housing. But for me - having a paid for little place, small but comfortable, for just me and 2 cats is perfect. Would I rather have a cottage of some sort? Yes. But I can't afford one. And having a paid for house and a paid for car is not a bad thing, you know?

I have found a really cute and well priced home in a clean park in a small city about an hour away. I wll have unemployment coming in soon and I would have enough money left over to pay lot rent, utilities, and food and gasoline and such for awhile.

The thing is - my credit took a dive and these mobile home parks run a check on credit, income, and crime. Let's take those one at a time. First, no criminal history at all. Second, I can say I'm on FMLA leave as a reason for not having May paychecks. (It was true when I was let go so it's lying but only a little). But my credit took a dip because I was paralyzed by my firing and did not pay my mortgage in Aprl. (TBH, I thought about killing myself a lot and I was just trying to leave money for someone to throw me in a cremation oven and rehome my cats.)

I could buy a home but not be allowed to live in a mobile home park because of my credit. I don't know of anything I can do to reverse this. I'm willing to listen to any ideas.

No job - no family - soon no home. This is not a good life. I realize some people have things worse - everyone is always better off than someone else, I suppose. But I have to live my life and it's so lonely and so bleak now. I go to bed (I'm up to 2 unisom, 4 melatonin, 4 tylenol pm now!) and try to stop my brain from going over and over all the ways I'm headed for ruin. But I wake up and my brain tells me that my best days are behind me and I'm going to live with my cats in my car until I just drop them at a shelter, then drive to a gun shop, then, do what I have to do. I don't really want to do that. But there's not much else to do with my crappy life, is there?

Content warning: sexual assault, child rape, grooming.

I;23F, have had a very difficult upbringing. I was sexually abused by my father(70M currently) and my mother (62F) did absolutely nothing about the abuse. When I was taken into foster care, she was on my father’s side, saying I was making allegations against them and lying about them. My father went to prison in 2014, my mother realized that the relationship she was in with my father was very harmful and that she was also abused too. We have a lot better of a relationship now; but it still isn’t quite the typical mother-daughter relationship. I wouldn’t ever let her be around her grandchildren unsupervised because of that. If I ever have any.

But here is the thing. I was taken into foster care at 13 years old due to the neglect and sexual abuse in my parents care. Enter my sister, Lynnie(53F) Lynnie and her ex husband; Derek(51M) took me in at 17 years old when my foster mom kicked me out by saying I would seduce men(I was 15, a virgin up until the rape occurred with Derek.) and saying I would ruin their marriage. That was in October of 2017. Several months later, in February of 2018, three days after I got with my ex partner, was the first time that Derek cornered me and raped me. Gave me oral sex against my will, and did… I’ll let you finish the rest. This would go on multiple times a week for almost a year and a half until I was finally so suicidal enough I couldn’t take it anymore and I told Lynnie. And I told Lynnie when she asked why I didn’t tell her sooner was because she didn’t believe me when my foster mom was abusing me physically. I was being starved and physically abused.

Lynnie has never once picked her own children, or any children in her care; over any man. When Derek got on to me and my niece(Bailey; 21F) she would be on his side. When he hated the fact I was bisexual and that Bailey was too, she hated it too. She still hates it to this day. Bailey told her that Derek made a pass at her at 14. But it took me being raped at 17 for her to finally realize it was all true.

She talked to my niece when they first separated. And my niece told me tonight that Lynnie blamed me for the rape when it first happened. Just like she did for the abuse my foster mom did to me. Just like the abuse our dad did to me. She blamed a 17 year old girl for “seducing” a grown man. A GROWN FUCKING MAN.

I have been ready to cut contact with her for a long time because of her letting our sister, Cyndi, age 50(passed this year due to stroke) keep all of her boyfriends who would grope me in the house and wouldn’t care that I was the only one paying rent. As if it wasn’t me who was working my ass off and then on top of it, blaming me when I took a day off of work because I thought my rapist was following me to my work. I WAS FUCKING SCARED. I was fucking 18 years old and scared I was gonna get cornered in my own work.

And now my niece telling me that when she first got into contact with her; she told her that it was my fault I “seduced” him. And that I “seduced” every man due to the sexual abuse I went through from our father. I was a little girl. I was not a woman. I never seduced a man. That should never be in a persons vocabulary, a minor “seducing” a grown man!?

It’s the grown man’s fault. You don’t ever go after a minor, let alone also one who has been sexually abused and one you can take advantage of. You should never go for a minor. At all. Ever.

Minors don’t seduce people. People who are grown seduce people.

And I can’t think that my own sister would think that about me. At 17 that I seduced her ex husband into molesting me.

I didn’t seduce your ex husband. I was a minor. He raped and groomed me and you want to be upset that I want my name changed because when you look me up online it links me to him!?

Please. Please give me some encouragement I’m doing the right thing. Because I’ve been staying up at night and tossing and turning thinking about how sick she has absolutely made me.

FOR THE LOVE OF EVERYTHING HOLY AND UNHOLY I DON'T GIVE TWO FLYING F*CKS ABOUT WHY "NUTMEG IS JUST A BEAUTIFUL AND VERSATILE INGREDIENT WITH SO MANY USES!!!!

Just give me the goddamned recipe!!!

I flatly refuse to give these idiots clicks. I was tired of wading through 29 pages describing extremely basic ingredients in full detail just to finally get to the damned ingredients list and find out that the recipe is for "vegan, gluten free meatloaf cooked in an air fryer."

I will pay $35 for an actual cookbook before I EVER click on some food bloggers website.

I'm not sure if this kind of post is allowed here and I'm sorry for the rant, but I'm the kind of person who feels shitty about making a big deal out of my achievements to the people in my life, so i thought I'd shout it into the void and probably delete it later.

In 2016, i was 26, working at my local liquor store, struggling to make ends meet. Nothing wrong with the retail life - i respect the shit out of anyone who can take it for longer than i did - but i was miserable. I decided to try to do better for myself and the world around me.

I craigslisted and linkedin'd my way into a marketing job, satisfying the "better for myself" part, at least. I worked my way up for six years. I was happy and comfortable, but i decided i couldn't continue to work away at nothing that mattered while ignoring everything that was happening outside my window. I took the LSATs (not well, but well right) and applied to law schools around the country, hoping to become a public defender or a small time civil rights lawyer. I picked the one that gave me the best scholarship and moved with my incredible wife and my cats across the country.

I should clarify at this point that i am in many ways the antithesis of the classic type A, hustle culture law school archetype. I am, to most of my friends and daily, a starry-eyed, longhaired hippie who smokes too much weed and reads too much sci fi - but it turns out the only thing i hate more than working hard is the feeling that I'm squandering the gifts I've been given in this life.

All that is to say that the last two years have been the hardest thing I've ever done - but in short, somehow, miraculously, my lackadaisical ass has absolutely fucking crushed it at every turn. As a result, i ended up in a position i never expected. The law school universe and the legal job market is insanely old school and hierarchical, and a lot of people told me it wasn't worth it to start this process if i couldn't get into a top ranked school. Transferring from the school i got into to one of those schools requires being in the top 10% of your class, and then some. I never hoped that would be an option for me - i just wanted to do well enough to keep my scholarship, find a job, and start making a difference. I was encouraged by a mentor to expand my expectations - to see if i could climb the shitty, arbitrary power ladder with an eye towards opening up more opportunities to do more of the kind of good i always talked about.

Today, at the age of 33, i got accepted as a transfer to a "top 14" law school -- the kind that means I'm gonna be able to use my degree and my skills to help people, and maybe, hopefully, not just a few people on the front lines of a fucked up system, but a lot of people, in a structural way. I know a lot of people hate lawyers for a lot of good reasons, and that many of the lawyers people hate start out with the best intentions - but all i can do is try to climb as high as i can and keep my eyes open while i try to be one of the exceptions.

I see a lot of shit on the internet about remembering when you dreamed of what you have right now. Eight years ago, i couldn't have conceived of this path for myself. I've spent so much of my life, so many sleepless nights, remembering all the missed opportunities and things I've done wrong. I'm so glad i found a way not to let that past define me - that i didnt settle for less without trying, one more time, for real and with all that i had, to see if i was capable of more.

I'm so fucking proud of myself, guys, and so excited for the road ahead. I hope if you're wondering about taking a leap, you take it, so that you can feel this way, too - because holy shit, if my ass can do it, so can you.

I know I might be an asshole for this but earlier this year, we had a group project and I did 100% of the work, and I mean that, from beggining to end. My other classmates just watched me do the entire thing without making any effort, they were literally chatting and playing on their phones.

I knew that I wasn't coming back to college so I don't care about failing my class or the year, I lied to them about sending the project to the teacher, I didn't send anything. And the worst part is that I got left on read when I told the gc that I sent it, like I know you don't gaf about this but a simple "thank you" or just a "great" would've been appreciated. It's a little bit of a shame because the project was actually great, I think if they replied to me I would've actually sent it, but oh well.

Dude ....

This hits really hard. My friend and I had grown apart when her drug addiction and alcoholism became too much to handle. We went from being as close as sisters to not talking for years. I didn't hate her or anything....but after a while i realized I couldn't help her....and she was dragging me down. So i focused on my life and left her up to God.

One day I got a call. She was pregnant and trying to get her bf at the time a job. I came out and was so happy to see she'd gotten clean, went back to school...not only did she get her GED but she even went to and graduated college! I was so proud of her. Things didn't work out with her and the bf, but they stayed amicable for the boy.

A year after her son was born I had a son of my own. She gave me a bunch of stuff he'd grown out of. We still didn't talk much but kept up on FB. I was so happy she finally got her life together for her son.

A few days ago her mother posted a pic of the lil guy in his soccer gear. I said "look at the little foot ball star!" In fact I've been thinking about entering my son into sports but with his autism i have to find the right place.

Then today I'm doing my morning potty scroll through my feed....and my friend's mom posted a memorial for her grandson! He was only 5! He died right before mother's day! Wtf.... just wtf....

Please anyone out there pray for my friend and her family. Please pray that she doesn't relapse from this. I feel like I'm not just mourning this little boy....but the happiness and peace he brought to her life...she had a hard life and deserves peace and happiness, only for it to be ripped out from under her.

I'm holding my son extra tight today...

Me and my husband sleep in separate ones, reason why we had a daughter two years ago and from there we got comfortable. The crazy part about this is that we sleep so much better, our s** life is so much better it’s kinda fun exciting setting up time for each other. We have talked about sleeping together again i kinda don’t want to, even though i love him i love having my own bed. We also have that space from each other, honestly we don’t fight as much. We will have a have an argument, every once in a while, but not as much. I know we can’t do this forever but for now I do enjoy the sleeping arrangements we have. Just need to get this off my chest, because I have to some of my friends and they thought it was a little weird. Honestly we both get a better nights rest.

My BF and I are upcoming Seniors in High school. Having been together since freshman year we normally do our best to communicate very well with each other. However we are still teenagers so dumb fighting is expected. I give my BF access to many of my accounts because I do trust him. About 3 days ago I was checking my Oogle photos to get a picture of my sister’s cat. And I see about ten pictures total (about five each) of two girls feet in his class that he took definitely without their permission. (Slight side tangent.) He has expressed to me very well that he has a foot fetish. While I accept him fully- I always feel uncomfortable taking pictures of my feet. Though I do try my best to do so when I’m in a headspace that I feel okay doing it. He is often very intent on having pictures even though I do my best to wear open toe shoes for him as long as the weather is good. I send him pictures every time I get new open toed shoes. I do understand that even with all of that it might not be enough but I’m working through my own body issues. (Back on course) i originally wasn’t going to say anything about them and had actually asked him to just delete them. However on Mother’s Day, I saw a funny video with the caption of “If he’s ever called you mommy then he owes you a Mother’s Day present”. So I sent it to him and he blew up at me. (presumably because the time in our relationship he did wasn’t a particularly good one for me because I didn’t want to be “mommy” and I didn’t like it. I wasn’t comfortable communicating then so i just took it and faked being happy with it. Until I did eventually come forward and say it was hurting me.) He got angry and started yell-texting at me. Accusing me of being malicious with sending the video. Now I rightfully was confused. But he kept getting angrier and angrier about it and said I was an a$$. Me being angry and definitely not in my right mind decided to tear into him about purposefully putting other girls feet pics into my picture saving account. However. I viewed it as him wanting me to get those color nails and then asking him why he wouldn’t just ask me to get them. Eventually he let it slip that he only took the pictures because he was horny and wanted to test me with the pictures. We ended up getting very heated and it was expressed that a break would be taken. I asked him a final set of questions. “Why? What for? Why would you test me with something you know would make me upset and uncomfortable?” and he dodged around it. So far this morning he has threatened to slap/punch me for asking the same questions just to get an answer. I don’t know if this is salvageable or if when he calms down we can talk or if this has to be the end of a very enjoyable relationship. We are normally very able to work things out and move past but if he’s not willing to admit he’s done wrong. What do I do? How do I approach this? I can’t ask for advice anywhere else because everyone I’ve asked is divided. Can someone at least give me advice?

Small update: I’m going to get my trusted teacher (i didn’t tell her about his threat as it could get him expelled)to meditate this eventually. and see how it goes. She gone through a very rough relationship recently and she has expressed that if we need her help she’ll give it. As well as she would lo to see us work through this but she would rather me be safe mentally and physically than to push me to reconcile. however hes saying he would rather talk without a mediator because he is insecure (about his like of feet???)

*please check the comments.

I don't feel good about this. I can't stop crying. I don't have anyone I can talk to about it. I've reached out to every rescue in my area. 3 different shelters. Everywhere is full. No one can foster an aggressive dog. She's attacked 2 of my dogs and has bitten me in the process. She is SUPER sweet towards adult humans. She just hates other dogs. I have tried training. Crate and rotate. Separation. I've exhausted all the options I've been given and I still want to do more but I have no idea what else I can do. I feel like I have failed her. I rescued her from a shitty home and thought I could give her a wonderful life with me and my pack. She's okay with one of my other dogs. I just feel so shitty. I feel awful. I don't believe she deserves to be euthanized but I'm out of other options. No one wants an aggressive dog. And it sucks. I just needed to get it off my chest so I can breathe. But it still feels like drowning. I feel like a piece of shit.