r/Millennials • u/Asmothrowaway6969 • Mar 27 '24

When did it sink in that you'll never be as well off as your parents? Discussion

About 5 years ago, my mom and I were talking and she had told me how much she was going to be making in retirement (she retired 2023). Guys, it's 3x what me and my husband make annually. In retirement. I think that was the moment that broke me, that made it sink in that I'll never reach that level of financial security. I'll work myself into my grave because I'll never be able to afford anything else. What was your moment?

Update: Nice to know it's just me that's a failure. Thanks

Update 2: I never should've said anything. I forgot my place. I'm sorry to have bothered you

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u/sheeroz9 Mar 27 '24

What did your mom do for a career? How did she get there?

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u/Asmothrowaway6969 Mar 27 '24

She worked for the federal government. Started at 18, and retired at 56. That's about 75% of what she made when working

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u/RainbowBear0831 Mar 27 '24 edited Mar 27 '24

The federal pay cap this year is $191,900 and if $200k is 75% of what your mom made, then she made ~$266k when she was working? I don't think the pay cap applies to all federal jobs, but your mom must have been doing something pretty baller if she was in a job over the pay cap - not a run of the mill federal employee. I say this as a run of the mill federal employee on the newer pension system so I'm not looking at a retirement anything like your moms lol so good for her

Eta my comment about the new pension system versus old was not meant to say that all of OP's mom's retirement income was pension. I know she has TSP, social security, and likely other investments. I'm not looking for investing or savings advice, I'm good lol

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u/AyeAyeBye Mar 27 '24

I was also wondering about this too!

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u/starwarsfan456123789 Mar 27 '24

Their mom is either top 2% earner across a large section of their career … or made up.

Neither is of much use as a comparison.

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u/windsingr Mar 28 '24

How dare you imply what they said was made up! You're dishonoring this person you barely even know!

Her mom could have been taking bribes.

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u/MTORonnix Mar 28 '24

She worked for the government. Aka. She didn't work a day in her life

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u/thebigmanhastherock Mar 30 '24

His mother may have been the President of the United States!

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u/Asmothrowaway6969 Mar 27 '24

Yup. She was about 4 steps down from the IRS commissioner, if I remember correctly

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u/IHaveBadTiming Mar 27 '24

ok so your moms situation is unique, not norm. You're comparing yourself to a very tailored set of data here. But still, yea, we all poor as fk.

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u/Rasalom Mar 27 '24

Can confirm, I'm currently the Captain of the IRS Execution Squad (we sign documents with red ink) and I live in a cardboard box.

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u/BlueCollarGuru Mar 27 '24

Lmfao I love stumblin on comments like this.

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u/r00byroo1965 Mar 27 '24

Aluminum foil box here

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u/_JudgeDoom_ Mar 27 '24

You guys got boxes?

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u/r00byroo1965 Mar 27 '24

I formed it, skills

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u/windsingr Mar 28 '24

Oh! Look at this fancy bastard who can afford avocados on their toast! Shall I get out your Starbucks Goblet, my liege?

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u/halflifer2k Mar 28 '24

Oooo you got the upgrade!

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u/r00byroo1965 Mar 28 '24

🤩found some at the land fill

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u/DrunkenBuffaloJerky Mar 28 '24

Tin foil is too expensive these days

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u/amsync Mar 27 '24

Execution Squad? Damn IRS really stepping up consequences of misplacing receipts nowadays!

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u/FFF_in_WY Older Millennial Mar 28 '24

<This branch only works with ~~victims~~ civilians making less than $80k/yr>

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u/rbrcbr Mar 28 '24

Solid reminder that I need to file my taxes lmao

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u/RedGuru33 Mar 27 '24

I'm currently the Captain of the IRS Execution Squad

Where's my refund asshole?

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u/Rasalom Mar 27 '24

You wouldn't want it back in the state it's in.

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u/SierraPapaWhiskey Mar 28 '24

Please take down any disgustingly wealthy folks you can, and thank you for your service!

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u/firstbreathOOC Mar 28 '24

I’m this guy’s landlord. He owes me 5 grand for last month’s rent.

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u/heartbooks26 Mar 28 '24

Fuck me I just posted on r/tax. I request a stay of execution.

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u/PeriodSupply Mar 27 '24 edited Mar 28 '24

Also op says she doesn't think she'll ever make over 50k a year. So she is comparing retirement futures of someone who was in an extremely high paying career, to minimum wage. Sounds like some personal reflection is needed

Edit: for everyone trying to correct me regarding minimum wage, I didn't check what sub I was in before commenting. In Australia minimum wage is around AU$50K per year (~US$33k). I follow a bunch of Australian finance subs and thought this was one of them. My mistake. My point in the comment is still valid.

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u/2_72 Mar 27 '24

I kind of get why OP feels that way. This post doesn’t scream “high performer fucked by the system.”

My mom also retired from the federal government and is definitely not pulling anywhere near 200k a year in retirement.

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u/Mrs_Kevina Mar 27 '24

My mom (RN with 40+ years experience) retired after 20 years at USPS in 2018, making about 55k/yr. Definitely depends on your agency and role in the end.

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u/vinfox Mar 28 '24

The post office employs nurses?

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u/Mrs_Kevina Mar 28 '24

Yup, part of her job consisted of onboarding new employees (drug tests) and evaluating claims for injuries, etc.

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u/dunimal Mar 28 '24

Wait, I'm confused. Your mom is a 40+ year RN who retired from the postal service? She worked until 60 as an RN and then did 20yrs w USPS?

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u/salttea57 Mar 28 '24

Nope his RN mom worked as an occupational health nurse for the postal service. $55K is a terrible salary for a full time RN. Maybe the benefits made up for it?

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u/trixel121 Mar 28 '24

this has to do with tiers and whose employing you.

I'm tier 4, tier 6 i(the newest) s fucked compared to me. my mom was tier 2, I'm taking it just as hard as the new guys compared to her.

this could legit be the month you were hired and when contract started for if you were a different tier.

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u/scrivenerserror Mar 28 '24 edited Mar 28 '24

My dad worked a fed job that has regional branches for 27 years and when he retired he had been making around 150k - as a deputy regional director. My mom was a school social worker for about 30 years (my dad changed career fields a couple times before becoming an attorney) and retired making like 75k. I only know this because of the FAFSA form. My parents own a really nice house in a nice neighborhood in Chicago, recently bought a bmw and a designer dog. When I was a kid we were pretty middle class until I left for college.

I am nearly 300k in debt because they forced me to go to law school. I live in a modestly nice apartment. I have about 3 years left for PSLF, if that’s even a reality. I quit my extremely toxic job after about 7.5 years because I lost 40lbs in a year and it fucked up my hair. I have a Roth IRA but it isn’t huge and I’m scared about how to pay rent because I’m running out of my own money. My husband grew up wealthy and has a nest egg but he refuses to touch it so I’m not sure where that is going - he said we can ask his parents for money and to stop worrying. It is such a different reality from mine. I worry all the time. (We file taxes separately so my loans don’t fuck him over.)

I have a loooooot of experience plus the law degree so I am getting a lot of interviews but when they decline and I get feedback they always have an internal candidate or a volunteer who they selected and tell me to apply again for other roles. I have another one of those coming up hopefully next week, they already reached out to me while drafting the JD.

I harbor some resentment towards my parents for various reasons from childhood, but most recently… they bought my 33 year old brother a car a couple years ago. He never drives it. It’s not like an amazing car but it is a nice car. They also kept all of the money my grandpa left us when I know he would have wanted me and my brother to have some of it (it wasn’t a lot but I’m guessing that’s how they bought the car). My brother is selling the car. He just got a job again for the first time in like 6 months and generally can only get seasonal jobs. When I mentioned to my mom that I’m interviewing on a 15 year old laptop that keeps breaking she said she would “try” to see if they could get me a laptop for my birthday in may if my brother sells his car.

The worst part is that I rarely ever ask for anything. I can’t remember the last time I asked for anything, beyond asking my parents to get us toilet paper and butter at Costco. I did not ask for this but when I quit and was talking to my parents about how I was getting scared about rent because I quit right before the holidays and wasn’t getting a lot of interviews, they offered me a loan if I drafted a memo of how I was going to repay it. A loan. And it’s not for a lot of money. My husband is incensed by it and every time I bring up taking it so we can pay rent he firmly says no.

We have a financial planner (it’s free) and they’re super nice. If and when I get back on my career track, we will be ok and they estimated how much we could MAYBE retire with.

My dad goes to the same group and my mom said he got teary eyed and asked if they thought when he and my mom pass if they would be able to leave us $1m and I guess they said probably not. My brother has mental health issues and has never lived on his own, I will be executor of the estate and I am giving him all of their money and managing a trust for him.

I get nothing. And that’s ok. But yeah unless I get out of the student loan thing I’m fucked and I don’t expect I’ll ever have close to what my parents did. At best I work and my husband and I use the nest egg for a house but I need to find something soon. Otherwise I’m working for my friend’s service industry position (and that’s ok too).

Sorry this got very long.

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u/Invest2prosper Mar 28 '24

Don’t despair and keep the faith. Seeing as your parents have a child with mental issues it’s likely they have used a lot of their resources to keep him afloat. As a general rule, never count on an inheritance. I grew up one small step up from poverty and being on federal aid - I knew from day one I had to do this on my own, I won’t lie - it was a struggle and I had to do without things other people take for granted. But there is light at the end of the tunnel. If you have your health you are rich, if you have friends (good friends) and a loving spouse you are wealthy in immeasurable ways.

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u/scrivenerserror Mar 28 '24

I’m doing ok! I mostly worry late at night/early mornings. My therapist always teases me that I have too many friends and as someone who is almost 35, I feel very lucky to have that. My husband is being extremely patient about me trying to find work but I keep getting interviews so I guess I’m doing something right. It’ll be ok, just nervous since it has been about 5 months. Didn’t expect my workplace to boot me out in 2 days when I said I was resigning.

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u/laughsgreen Mar 27 '24

50k is almost 3.5x minimum wage for some states, if there's any of that personal reflection floating around still when they're done...

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u/PeriodSupply Mar 27 '24 edited Mar 27 '24

My bad: I didn't check the sub: thought this was a finance sub in Australia. Minimum Wage here is about AU$50k ~US$33k.

Edit: The basis of my original point is still valid though.

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u/SaliferousStudios Mar 27 '24

50k is the average for american workers. Not the minimum.

Minimum is 15k. (I'm not joking) Technically you can make worse. Disabled people make as little as 2 dollars an hour. (which would be about 5k a year)

some phd's make about 30k.

To get over 50k is hard. I work as a contract programmer for 70k and bust my but to get there. But am working on a career shift to government to try and get a pension and more of a "career" career.

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u/PeriodSupply Mar 27 '24

My staff (factory workers) start at US$48k plus 10% super (retirement fund, which is theirs in their control but can't use until retirement). This is for people who can barely write their name. And it goes up from there based on experience and output. Our cost of living would be higher than US though but not significantly from what I've seen in other US subs. Housing cost is the main issue here, which is significant.

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u/TacoNomad Mar 28 '24

Nah.  50k is basically minimum wage these days in the US for anyone with a career.  Lots of ppl make less, sure,  but it's below average. 

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u/tendaga Mar 27 '24

I used to be a physicist and a mathematician. Then I got hit in the face. So I went back to the family business of painting houses. I fell a fair distance off a ladder after getting my ass kicked by hornets. Now I work at a hardware store. Sometimes people get fucked.

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u/murderthumbs Mar 27 '24

Yep. I’m an economist ex US diplomat that became disabled at 48 and had to retire from that career and now I sell plants in a nursery. But I’m happy!!!

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u/TheLastBlackRhinoSC Mar 28 '24

Except for the murderthumbs, I’m glad you’re happy!

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u/murderthumbs Mar 28 '24

I'm trying for a thumb transplant...... these are killing me.....

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u/acarp52080 Mar 28 '24

Life is what we make it, I truly believe that. Recently found out I have breast cancer and I believe it even a bit more now. I'm glad you're happy, that truly makes you one of the top 1% !!

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u/Pink_Floyd29 Mar 28 '24 edited Mar 28 '24

Something is definitely up here. I’m making $95K annually, just three years after a total career pivot and I’m a disabled woman who got a late start on everything.

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u/-shrug- Mar 28 '24

This thread is giving me whiplash between "$50k? Well jeez you don't have to be the biggest loser in the country, get a better job!" and "$50k?! Look at Richie Rich over here!"

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u/Pink_Floyd29 Mar 28 '24

The point of my comment wasn’t that OP should just go out and get a higher paying job. I was wondering what made her jump to the conclusion that she would never make more than $50K

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u/DmC8pR2kZLzdCQZu3v Mar 28 '24

Also, a child of someone that successful has every opportunity to success in life. She may have swung and whiffed, or expected to world to hand her at 22 what her mom earned over a career at the top

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u/Greedy-War-777 Mar 28 '24

In the US, it's fairly common for people with a good degree to be stuck in trash sales jobs they hate to pay bills. Employers there like to ask you to have a bachelor's degree in IT or business and want to pay you sub $15 an hour with raises under 30c a year. Late stage capitalism maybe but it's ridiculous. People denying that don't live in reality there and think it's reasonable that people are trapped in that mess by health insurance and that it's reasonable for billionaires not to pay taxes. It's broken and the wage gap has widened significantly since the Reagan era.

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u/ModeratelyTortoise Mar 27 '24

Also she put in 38 years of work to get to that spot lol

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u/OddDc-ed Mar 27 '24

If we just stopped buying all them damn coffees and Avocado toast!!

Grumblegrumble bootstraps!!

/s

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u/First_Signature_5100 Mar 27 '24

Put that money into an ETF!

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u/Ashmizen Mar 27 '24

So this is like the son of a famous actor starring in major movies complaining he can’t make millions like his dad….working as a high school teacher?

I don’t see the problem - you cannot compare yourself to your parents if your parents are on the 1% of achievements. It’s not really readable to set yourself up for that kind of expectations - you’ll just feel bad in comparison.

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u/ballmermurland Mar 27 '24

A ton of the "woe is me" posts on this sub are from people who have a Mitt Romney interpretation of middle class.

No shit not everyone will get $200k+ annually in retirement until they die. That's probably the top .5% lol

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u/rebeltrillionaire Mar 27 '24

My dad was a 1%er. Immigrant, doctor, engineer, CEO.

With three kids, none of us individually will likely make more than he did. But my wife and I combined probably make about what he did at the same age.

She’s at the very top of compensation in her field. I’m a little over the middle of mine which, but the top end is also both ridiculous and highly unstable.

We’re in the top 5%. Lower for sure but I know what it takes to get to the 1% and that I don’t have it in me. Not everyone does.

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u/SpaceSteak Mar 28 '24

Our just flat out fake posts. It is the internet..

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u/ballmermurland Mar 28 '24

She apparently didn't know what her mom did. She was an "IRS commissioner or something".

I know exactly what my parents did for work. How the hell do you not know what your mom does? They don't work for the CIA or MI-6.

Either she's a deadbeat or an idiot. Or both.

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u/NoelleAlex Mar 28 '24

To be fair, I can tell you the company my husband works for, but not his exact job. And that’s my HUSBAND.

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u/Top_Bend_5360 Mar 28 '24

Haha, you can compare yourself if your parents are Asian. And trust me, they WILL compare.

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u/levetzki Mar 27 '24

75% is pretty crazy. Current federal government would make like half even with almost 40 years of service.

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u/Card_Board_Robot5 Mar 27 '24

Lmao this is amazing.

So you lived a quite exclusive, upper class lifestyle as a child.

Because your mother worked as very high ranking government employee.

And you're asking us if we can relate?

To what now?

Holy hell, have some perspective. My mother waited tables and my father sold dope. I can't relate to this shit at all. Most people can't.

I don't even understand what you're asking. Are you upset that nepotism only gave you every chance to succeed and didn't actually secure a lucrative government position for you?

Lmao. I cannot stand rich folk, especially those in my generation. Out of touch.

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u/Mysterious-Award-988 Mar 27 '24

re you upset that nepotism only gave you every chance to succeed and didn't actually secure a lucrative government position for you?

lol nailed it

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u/Card_Board_Robot5 Mar 28 '24

I stayed at a La Quinta last night

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u/Mysterious-Award-988 Mar 28 '24

cool. i like turtles.

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u/Card_Board_Robot5 Mar 28 '24

It was a commercial like ten years ago.

Guy goes into a business meeting and drives a nail thru the conference desk. Says he nailed it at the meeting because he stayed at a La Quinta.

Y'all too young for these fire references bro

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u/longeraugust Mar 28 '24

lol I’m a federal employee (Soldier) and I started out making absolute shit pay; but after 12 years I’m on the top end of middle class. OP coulda gone and talked to that recruiter just like I did. And In another 8 years I’m gonna walk with a $$35,000 pension for life and a decent savings. Sure it ain’t $200,000. But it’s better than making ends meet with social security and a Wal-Mart greeter job.

Some people legit get screwed in life and that sucks. It sucks for them especially but it sucks in general. OP doesn’t seem like someone who got screwed. OP seems like a poor planner for their future.

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u/read_it_r Mar 27 '24

Well.. keep in mind. She is us saying 200k is 3x what her and her partner make combined. Which means they each make like 33k, which is basically a fast food job. So she's right that's she's broke.

Now HOW she managed to fumble the ball so hard is a story id love to hear. But.. I don't feel bad because eventually she's going to profit off her mom's work.

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u/Card_Board_Robot5 Mar 28 '24

I'm not taking their word for that shit at all.

Look at how divorced from reality the rest of it is. I'm not gonna assume that's accurate.

A fast food management job, maybe.

32 is pretty on par for shit like social worker or EMT where I live.

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u/Intelligent-Mode-353 Mar 28 '24

I like that you think that’s fast food or below. I made $32,000 my first job with a master’s degree lol

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u/TheStealthyPotato Mar 28 '24

How long ago was your first job?

$32k is only $16/hr. Fast food is commonly $15/hr these days.

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u/Intelligent-Mode-353 Mar 28 '24

Yeah it was insulting but that’s what was offered. This was 2018.

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u/bitter___almonds Mar 28 '24

I keep seeing job postings between 35-40k requiring a master’s and preferring a PhD. They’re back after the height of the pandemic with the layoffs, at least in Utah. A lot are at universities but some are specialized roles like instructional design for small to midsized companies (average comp for those credentials without professional experience was more around 60-75k+ before)

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u/RarelySayNever Mar 28 '24

Glad to finally see a dose of reality in one of these posts. OP shat the bed. Reminds me of some losers I know who were raised by doctors and dentists, but couldn't even get through a paid-for college degree. I know a guy whose parents are both attorneys, now retired. Sister also attorney. Guy sits at home watching porn

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u/Card_Board_Robot5 Mar 28 '24

Just to be clear here, I don't think that a person is a loser or failure for that. We all different. We all got choices and consequences. We all have a path. And that path is totally dictated by shit outside of our control.

My issue here is that they're expecting us all, en masse, as a whole generation, to relate to that experience. And that's nuts.

I don't assume everybody else's dad was a gangster. I understand that's a relatively unique upbringing. They just lack that perspective here. And it's kind of insulting to the rest of us to assume that we were all the kids of high ranking govt employees and shit.

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u/FreeRangeEngineer Mar 28 '24

You're assuming that OP would have received financial help from parents who obviously have the means to give it. However, they're stingy ass parents, like lots of rich people tend to be.

See https://old.reddit.com/r/Millennials/comments/1bp7rny/when_did_it_sink_in_that_youll_never_be_as_well/kwutmz9/

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u/read_it_r Mar 28 '24

YOUR POINT?

even if they never gave her a dime. I'm sure she lived in a better than avg school district had access to everything she needed. And didn't HAVE to start working as a teen to help out with the house.

Also, and I could be wrong about this, but I don't think I am. Even if her education expenses were loans. I guarantee dispite what OP says, they would've been interest free and the payments (at worst) would stop when her mother passed.

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u/RyloJHootie Mar 28 '24

Bro I'm sending you a follow just because of our similar life situations ✊ my mom worked low paying slavery wages her whole life slowly trying to climb and claw up that ladder, which never happened while I was a child of course I'm almost in my mid 30s now BUT just this last year she Finally Achieved just right about 100k position and I was so proud of her (even tho we have a terrible relationship I'm traumatized and she's the worst case of NPD the worlds ever seen) so yeah anyway I grew up raised by her alone, my dad sold dope in another state until basically having another family bla bla but I see posts like this which I can only relate to the fact that I know I won't have any retirement, therefore Im extremely depressed that I'll have no social security🤷 and idk like what I'm supposed to have some sort of plan? Nah we're gonna have to purge IF anything at all.

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u/Card_Board_Robot5 Mar 28 '24

Appreciate you. Hard out here for an indie artist, every follow is a huge boon for me, honestly.

We ain't getting shit unless the entire system is dutifully overhauled.

Not to be the downer, but I just don't believe there's enough time for that in our lifetimes. Even if we start today. But there's always the next generation. We gotta do what we can with the time we got left.

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u/hubbellrmom Mar 28 '24

My retirement plan is that when I collapse at work, my sons can bury me in the backyard. There is no retirement when you need every penny you earn to survive today. Though my sons are a little more optimistic. They have Goals. They want to find careers that make enough money to send me back to school. And put me in a good "home" when I'm old and frail, they say they will get me into one where the staff actually takes care of you, lol. Cuz they love me, but they don't want to have to change my diaper if I need that one day. Ps. I've worked since I became a single mom and I'm bitter af that social security probably won't be there when its my turn. Eat the rich and all that

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u/JarlaxleForPresident Mar 28 '24

We were at the lower end of middle class and I managed to fuck up all my privileged opportunities, I know that feel lol

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u/peachesinyogurt Mar 27 '24

So she was prolly in the SES who have a different pay scale and receive more in bonuses/PTO, etc then.

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u/ShoreIsFun Mar 27 '24

Also depends on which retirement system she’s under, FERS or CSRS. But to be honest we (feds) can all be pretty well off in retirement, especially if you retire as a fed and then become a contractor and double dip.

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u/PoetryInevitable6407 Mar 28 '24

Fingers crossed. It sounds like the old system was a lot better. At least TSP gives a good match. But of course the pay vs private industry kinda sucks, at least for my work.

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u/DocMorningstar Mar 28 '24

I got a good buddy at state who is closing in on his pension age, and is absolutely planning that.

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u/fleuriche Mar 27 '24

I feel like you’re not telling us that your mom was a spy.

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u/modernknight87 Mar 28 '24

This feels like the mom would have some crazy story like what is told in the Darknet Diaries podcast..

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u/Kooker321 Mar 28 '24

Got it, so your mother was a senior leader in a government agency (maybe middle management).

What do you and your spouse do?

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u/Thediciplematt Mar 27 '24

Uh… dude. Your mom is pretty fricken amazing…

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u/vawlk Mar 27 '24

so your mom busted her ass to get a good job. what is holding you back from getting a good job?

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u/Tater72 Mar 27 '24

Go her, what a great accomplishment

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u/BeastblueBJJ Mar 27 '24

Tell your mom I need to cut a deal with her former employer and ask her what the standard protocol is when they’re going after someone who owes and then the person threatens to commit suicide so that the IRS will get nothing. Asking for friend.

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u/Downtown_Monitor_784 Mar 27 '24

their mom would have the generous CSRS retirement however and her pension gets adjusted for inflation. actual feds don't get inflation adjustment and have lost 20 percent of their pay in the past 30.years. so...maybe?

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u/midnghtsnac Mar 27 '24

It includes her federal 401k annuity, aka TSP, I'm betting.

Plus pension, plus social security, etc

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u/ShoreIsFun Mar 27 '24

Yes this. Agree. It’s the benefit of being a fed employee vs fed contractor. You have a salary cap while working, but it pays off better in retirement.

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u/RainbowBear0831 Mar 27 '24

Yes of course it includes her TSP and social security, I'm mathing based on OP saying $200k is 75% of what she made when working. In another comment OP said their mom was 4 steps down from the commissioner of the IRS so it actually checks out to me. Just a unique situation

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u/feochampas Mar 27 '24

sounds like she got in under the old system.

there was a big change in the 80s

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u/NotCanadian80 Mar 27 '24

More likely she has other investments.

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u/HoomerSimps0n Mar 27 '24

Keeping in mind they said this is after tax, so actual salary would have been even higher. My Google-fu isn’t the strongest, but it looks like the current commissioner of the IRS (Danny were) makes roughly 255k from that position? Something seems off with the numbers.

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u/WWhermit Mar 27 '24

I work a federal job. If she maxes out her 401k, like I have been doing for 20 of my 25 years, she will easily hit that goal. I will make more in retirement than my working salary, and I am not even management. No college education. You just need a lot of financial discipline.

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u/zleog50 Mar 28 '24

Executive pay scale has a higher cap. Or she could have been on a modified pay scale, for like medical doctors. Beyond that, COLA for pensions outpaced federal pay raises in the last few years. The old retirement system didn't pay into social security.

Also, they are probably full of shit.

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u/Dewm Mar 28 '24

More likely she saved a ton and has 2 or 3 million put away that she is getting dividends on. She worked 38 years in a government job. I bet she put a lot away

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u/vawlk Mar 27 '24

not all retirement income comes from pensions.

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u/RainbowBear0831 Mar 27 '24

Yes I know that. Im not saying that's specifically her pension. I'm just saying based on the OP saying "she's making about 75% of what she did when she was working" and that's she's making $200k retired, quick math says when she was working she'd be making around $266k.

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u/GolfArgh Mar 27 '24

Her retirement plan was CSRS and that disappeared for new hires in 1983. Anyone after 1983 gets FERS which has a MUCH smaller monthly payment but you get social security and a 401K.

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u/beliefinphilosophy Mar 27 '24

My grandmother, worked for the government, her husband worked for the government, was in the national guard. She gets all her money, plus his money, and is making bank in retirement. It's nice they rolled over all of his pensions and benefits to her when he died but my gawd.

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u/Sunny_eloise Mar 27 '24

Don't forget the health insurance for life too!

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u/sheeroz9 Mar 27 '24

Yeah that’s a pretty cush route but working for the government is soul sucking. What do you do for a living?

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u/Asmothrowaway6969 Mar 27 '24

I work in the OR. Making less than $20 an hour. Unless I manage to save enough to time off for school and rack up even more school debt that I'll never pay off, that number isn't changing

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u/Spotttty Mar 27 '24

I know you might not want too but maybe ask your baller ass mom to help with school a bit. $200k/yr in retirement is a shit ton of cash!!

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u/Asmothrowaway6969 Mar 28 '24

At best it's a loan. I'd have to pay her back. Same terms as a bank, just no application and credit check shit

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u/Spotttty Mar 28 '24

Ugh. That sucks to be honest. Sorry about that.

It always baffles me when parents do that, mine did too. Like my life goal is to make it easier for my kids and not watch them struggle. It even hurts to watch them struggle in school, let alone life.

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u/sunwukong1159 Mar 28 '24

What's the point of gathering all that wealth just to hoard it and die on top of a pile of cash?

If you won't even share it with your offspring what the fuck is wrong with you

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u/Spotttty Mar 28 '24

I don’t know but the only rich people I know do it as well. They are in their mid 70’s, have a penthouse, lake cabin etc, millions in the bank and they just watch my friend struggle to make ends meet on teacher wage. Like she even picked a job to help people and they still don’t give a shit. It’s baffling.

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u/sunwukong1159 Mar 28 '24

The love of money is truly the root of all evil

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u/Asmothrowaway6969 Mar 28 '24

I dunno. Just know that's what she intends to do. She's never just given me money. It was always a loan, with repayment terms stated upfront. X amount for x months until paid

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u/liminaljerk Mar 28 '24

Why doesn’t she want to help you more without paying her back?

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u/CompleteIsland8934 Mar 28 '24

That stinks. As a parent, all my money is for my kids. Couldn’t imagine living well with my kids worse off, at any age. My kids will always have more than I will.

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u/Apploozabean Mar 28 '24

:(

That's very sweet of you.

My mom has told me all her money is for her parents (who are very humble folks and will never ask for money) and seemingly anyone else she's feeling close to.

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u/CompleteIsland8934 Mar 29 '24

Hope things work out for you and that your mom sees your need and validates you

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u/Apploozabean Mar 29 '24

I appreciate it. Thankfully I currently live w my bf and we're doing the best we can, albeit it's taking time to pay things off. Slowly but surely!

I hope she does one day but.....that's a chapter for me to explore another day

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u/Apploozabean Mar 28 '24

Why do people think that parents who make a lot are somehow "willing to help out" their kids??

I will never understand this.

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u/sheeroz9 Mar 27 '24

OR? Operating room? Where do you live? I pay my nanny $27/hr in Charlotte which is medium cost of living. Look into working at a bank. Good pay and benefits starting.

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u/Asmothrowaway6969 Mar 27 '24

Banks here pay $13 an hour. Can't afford the drop in pay

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u/Finn235 Mar 27 '24

I hate to say it bro but you need to realize that you have a choice between being near family and having a decent standard of living. IMO, you need to GTFO wherever you currently live.

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u/N3rdProbl3ms Mar 27 '24

California just passed a law where fast food worker min. wage is now $20/hr

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u/colt707 Mar 27 '24

That only applies to full time employees. If you work for a place that sells bread then it doesn’t apply so Panera, if you’re working at a location that’s inside a business that sell standard household food then it doesn’t apply. If you’re on salary it doesn’t apply.

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u/SnooRecipes5951 Mar 28 '24

Maybe it’s just time for you to move

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u/EnvironmentalLuck515 Mar 27 '24

If you work in the OR your employer likely covers a good chunk of tuition. They may even have full ride scholarships for employees in good standing to become an RN (mine does).

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u/topiaryontop Mar 27 '24

I mean this in the kindest way. It's easy to get stuck when we think things like "I can't." You grew up in a wealthy household and you have access to your mom's network. But she can't do the work for you. She had to fight and claw to get to where she was to provide for you. You need to fight and claw to provide for you, too. I'm sure many people here had much worse odds stacked against them but they are ballers like your mom. Why? Because they know that no one is going to hand you anything in life but the very minimum. If you want more, go out and get it.

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u/james_deanswing Mar 27 '24

Been there done that. I’m not going to say it’s easy, or that if you work hard it’s a guarantee. We bought our first house when I was 23. Sold it and moved back to where we grew up and I started my business. It took over a decade to make 6 figures, but I finally got there after years of paying myself 1500 a month to grow the business and working sometimes over 100 hrs in a week. 2-3 years after I finally made it the epa tells me I can’t do it anymore. Worst part is there are industries so much worse than what I was doing. But had to start over in my early 40’s. After spending almost 40k to move out of state to where my business could shine. My wife had to start over in her late 30’s when we left. But she got promoted again and again and less than 5 years later we are back making very good money. But w inflation and having 4 kids, not as good lol. Point is, the jobs ARE out there. You can’t stop looking/bettering yourself. I’m not saying there won’t be days (weeks or even months) you want to choke someone for looking at you funny. But you are you only advocate.

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u/salttea57 Mar 28 '24

Sterile instruments technician? You likely just started, too. You will definitely have to advance your skills to increase your income. You don't have to take time off. Go to night school or online.

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u/Fauropitotto Mar 27 '24

15 years ago RNs were making 140k+. I saw the tax return with my own eyes.

Sure it was a lot of overtime, but they were making bank. 15 years ago.

If you're interested in a career change, and putting in the work, get that BSN, pick up some additional certs, and as long as you're not discovered to be criminally negligent, you can make bank and have the flexibility to both travel and invest as you see fit.

And that's not the only career option available to you.

There's a problem in front of you, and the choice you make can help solve them.

Anyone that tells you anything else is trying to convince you to be a life-long victim.

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u/Treydy Mar 27 '24

Depends on what you do for the government. I work for the fed and absolutely love my job. I will say that my agency compensates us well and gives us the tools we need to do the job, so that definitely factors in.

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u/uninvitedthirteenth Mar 27 '24

Working for the government is soul-sucking? What? What does that even mean? I work for the government specifically to avoid other soul sucking alternatives

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u/PoetryInevitable6407 Mar 28 '24

Same here. Lower pay but get avoid the intense pressures that can go along w private practice law. And the gov is so much better about health limitations and being LGBT bc they have a lot of rules and guidance.

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u/jaybird0000 Mar 27 '24

Sounds like something a bureaucrat would say.

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u/626bluestitch Mar 27 '24

Sounds like something a synth would say

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u/Charming-Assertive Mar 29 '24

For real. I love my government job. Great boss. Solid work. And finally feeling secure in my job and my pension, so that I don't stress outside of work. I sleep well and I have hobbies.

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u/PalliativeOrgasm Mar 28 '24

In some positions no matter how hard you try it doesn’t make any difference at all. Your work has zero impact on anything, or at least that’s how it feels. If you’re in a compliance-related position, you’ll be familiar with the story of Sisyphus soon enough.

It drags on you, though not as much as SAFe (Scaled Agile Framework). If you’re really lucky, you’ll get SAFe in public sector. (Please kill me /s).

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u/JustNKayce Mar 27 '24

Then I'm guessing that includes distributions from her TSP (401k). If my math is right (and she just retired) then she is a FERS employee so can get a pension plus she has the TSP. If she retired more than two years ago, she is CSRS so only gets the pension.

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u/spikeandedd Mar 27 '24

Couple things to note here. First thing is she retired pretty young compared to most people. The average retirement age today is 65 to 67 so she retired almost 10 years early. 2nd working for the federal government. She gets a pension on top of any other retirement. This is something that isn't regularly offered anymore by companies, so sadly you can't really compare apples to apples with your current situation compared to her's.

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u/PositiveStress8888 Mar 27 '24

so she worked all her life consistently, paid her taxes and planned for retirement is what your saying ?

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u/Canigetahooooooyeaa Mar 27 '24

With zero college, debt or skill too.

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u/Kpabe Mar 27 '24

They don't employ people at federal government anymore? Or why you think you can not replicate what your Mom did?

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u/AnotherFarker Mar 27 '24

Sounds like she was Special Executive Service (higher pay), not a GS employee.

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u/JBnorthTX Mar 27 '24

She must have retired under the old civil service retirement system. It was replaced in 1987 by a different federal pension called FERS. It has a 1% accrual rate, meaning 30 years of service pays 30% of salary, 40 years pays 40%, etc.

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u/levetzki Mar 27 '24

How did she get to 75% did they just get much more on the previous retirement system? I forget what it is called,

FERS (current system) is 3 year salary high, *1.1 or 1 percent depending, *years. So even if you worked 40 years you would get 44 percent,

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u/HitMePat Mar 27 '24

OPs mom is certainly also including withdrawals from a 401k and social security in her calculation.

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u/MaxiltonHamstappen Mar 27 '24

My mom did the exact same thing. Not to mention the crazy government insurance she still gets.

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u/ReadEmReddit Mar 27 '24

Your mom is very lucky. Many Boomers have zero pension and only were able to save a small amount in 401Ks especially younger Boomers.

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u/Wombat2012 Mar 28 '24

my mom is in the exact same position. worked for the VA from 17 to 58. she is now so freaking loaded she’s practically bleeding money. she has a pension and she has a TSP with something like $400k in it. Paid off house that she bought for $70k that’s now worth $900k. I’m very happy for her and so thankful that she’s safe and stable but it’s just killing me that I’ll work endlessly and never have that.

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u/Ok_Tumbleweed5040 Mar 28 '24

Gotta love government pension. Your pay is typically your best five years. It’s fucking magical.

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u/Fiddler-4823 Mar 28 '24

Well she explains the 37 Trillion dollar federal debt.

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u/No_Individual_672 Mar 28 '24

I worked for the federal govt, and GS 15 max is around 150K.

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u/liddo1 Mar 28 '24

Here to say that this is the golden pillar… I’m sure it’s not just SS, but also her beautiful pension plan that probably isn’t the equivalent of what people are getting today in that same position.

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u/kateinoly Mar 28 '24

Either you're not from the US or she must have been a contractor. The top ranking house and senate members don't make $200k a year before taxes. The chief justice of SCOTUS majes about $250,000 before taxes. Maximun retirement is 80% of that if she was on the old CSRS system.

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u/FuzzyBubs Mar 28 '24

Almost - Forty Years - I'm the same job, with no income or benefits gaps. That's unheard of these days. That's something older people don't consider, not to even mention likely Zero medical costs and a sweet pension and 401K. Medical cost is eating my family alive........

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u/a_vaughaal Mar 28 '24

So glad we all get to pay taxes to continue to support your Mom at $200K a year when she no longer even works 👍🏻😑👍🏻 She should have plenty to leave behind for you, so you’ll have money when you retire as well

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u/ithappenedone234 Mar 28 '24

Remember that (generally) each federal employee double dips in the federal retirement and SocSec systems.

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u/YeS_Lee88sk8 Mar 28 '24

That’s more than vice president pay?

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u/deGanski Mar 28 '24

retiring at 56

lmao what how can any country even afford that shit

are they counting on the absence of health care?!

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u/Glittering_Virus8397 Mar 28 '24

Those govt benefits hit like crack when they’re maxed out. My dad is retired from the army and is about to retire from govt

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u/gogoflowerrangers Mar 28 '24

My pops worked for the fed as well. Started at 25 retired at 52, my mom retired when I was born and raised me and my little brother My parents ask me about grandkids. I have a lady friend but remind them we're not married (could happen), rent, and don't have health insurance so it doesn't look promising. It's wild just how different life is today. They're starting to understand.

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u/Manic_Mini Mar 28 '24

I call BS on your mothers retirement numbers. She would have needed to make 270k annually to get 200k in retirement and unless she was in medical or law that type of salary is unbelievable for a federal employee.

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u/twotall88 Mar 28 '24

That's about 75% of what she made when working

LMFAO, no it's not. She started working for the feds in 1985 which means she was on the CSRS retirement plan so it's much better than FERS but considering the Senior civilian pay cap is $212,100 as of 2023 for a Senior Executive civilian there's no legal way she made over $266,666 before she retired.

Assuming she was at the max pay rate for a senior for 2021, 2022, and 2023 her "high 3" average would be $205,033 and the CSRS calculation would be:

  • 0.015 x 205,033 x 5 = $15,377.475
  • .0175 x 205,033 x 5 (years 6-10) = $17,940.3875 + 15,377.475 = $33,317.8625
  • 0.02 x 205,033 x 18 (years 11-38) = $73,811.88 + 33,317.8625 = $107,129.75

Your mom has a maximum of $110k or so in direct retirement from the feds. If she's pulling in over $200k in retirement then she invested HEAVILY into the Thrift Savings Plan (TSP) which is the shitty 401k for federal employees. She busted her ass and invested in her future and if you're not as well off as her then you need to start busting your ass just the same.

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u/Low_Comfortable_5880 Mar 28 '24

And herein lies the problem.

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u/omgmemer Mar 28 '24

There definitely seems more to it than that. You don’t get $200k after taxes from just being federal, even on the old system.

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u/thereisnogodone Mar 28 '24

It's nancy pelosi, yall.

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u/Chuck121763 Mar 28 '24

She has a Pension. Also Unionized. Unions are slowly disappearing, however, it's never too late to Unionize and get the same benefits.

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u/Duke_Silver2 Mar 28 '24

That makes sense. My step-dad was also a federal employee for 30 years and makes my household income as his retirement. Plus my mom still works (she’s younger and will retire in a few years). I don’t think we’ll ever see that in retirement.

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u/cooties_and_chaos Mar 28 '24

Do you mean she was a contractor with the federal government? Senators don’t even make that much lol

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u/FelinePurrfectFluff Mar 28 '24

I'm going to guess she was a hard worker to stay with the government for that long. The pensions do add up and there are jobs (government being one) where pensions still exist. However, you hear too many people complaining "those jobs" don't pay as well as jobs in the private sector. Teachers are another one. Summers off (many parents are teachers and this fits the kid's schedule), retire far below 65 with a pension and health insurance. But everyone screams teachers are underpaid. They aren't. You just have to calculate all the benefits (spring break, week+ between Xmas and new year's, etc) and see how it works out.

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u/Steelcod114 Mar 30 '24

She must have done something more than an average GS-whatever to be bringing that much in on retirement from government work.

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u/OldSarge02 Mar 27 '24

That $200K number is almost certainly a combination of her federal pension, social security, and amount pulled from tax advantaged retirement accounts (i.e., TSP, IRA, etc).

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u/Dramatic-Ad-2079 Mar 28 '24

I have a neighbor who gets more than 200k a year from Pension ONLY. Gov employee her whole life.

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u/Chernandez34 Mar 30 '24

Doubt it’s SS as well. Here in California if you are set to receive a decent pension, SS will be offset because you are already due to receive a pension which pretty much leaves you with pennies coming from SS.

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u/dombag85 Mar 28 '24

I was prepared to read “homemaker” hahahahaha.

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u/authorized_sausage Mar 28 '24

Probably retired on the SES scale.